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4. Moving Backwards
After the morning's disaster, Ron hadn't been out of his room all day. Even after Ginny had told him the great news that Harry would come that night after all. He was happy about that bit of news, but his happiness had deflated out of him as soon as it had come. He had walked passed his brother's old bedroom only to find Hermione wrapped around Nelson. As soon as he had seen that he felt his heart rip and tear itself into pieces.
Yes, that's exactly how it felt, thought Ron glumly. The day seemed to be going very slow and Ron hadn't eaten at all. He was in a terrible mood. He hadn't even bothered to hide his anger from Lavender; she knew he was in a state of fury. She had grabbed her clothes quickly and left without a word. Ron was glad to be far from everyone but especially Lavender. He did not want to deal with her drama at all.
It was close to supper and Ron was starving. The night had already been planned. Everyone including Harry, Hermione and Nelson were to be present at the dinner; Mrs. Weasley had been cooking all day. Ron's stomach growled in anger; it was not like Ron to skip a meal and his body knew it. But the feeling of grief was much stronger than anything Ron was feeling at the moment. Grief, because he felt that he had lost his best friend, even though she was downstairs alive and well and as beautiful as ever. He had lost Hermione forever. It was a feeling that Ron had known well enough after the fall of Voldermort.
Someone tapped on his door. It knocked him out of his reverie and he said, "Who's there?"
"Ginny. Can I come in?" And without bothering for an answer, Ginny opened the door and plopped herself on Ron's bed.
"Hey! I didn't say you could come in! I could have been…changing or something!" Ron said angrily.
Ginny rolled her eyes. "Come off it Ron, I'd rather poke my eyes out with my wand then catch you naked," Ginny said with disgust. Then she added with a small smile, "I just want to know if you're…OK."
It took a moment for Ron to answer. "I'm doing great, thanks," he said, sounding very bitter.
Ginny looked at him sympathetically. "Ron, you don't have to act this way."
"What are you talking about? I'm fine, I told you—"
"Shut up Ron and stop being so thick!" Ginny said angrily. "Stop acting as if any of this isn't bothering you! I see the way you look at Hermione. And you know what I'm talking about," Ginny said accusingly.
At that moment, Ron looked at her and he couldn't help but think how much he loved having Ginny as a sister. Although he would never say it to her face, he really loved and appreciated her and was glad to have her as a friend. After some seconds of silence, Ron finally answered.
"Ginny. You saw Hermione. Everyone saw her. She seems really happy with that..." Ron couldn't think of what to call him so he just said, "git."
Ginny couldn't help but smile. "So what? Just because she seems happy doesn't mean she is. You'll never know until you talk to her."
"What am I going to say? The last time we talked we had a huge row and I'm sure she doesn't want to talk to me after all that." Ron said hopelessly.
"Are you serious? Ron! You are not at Hogwarts anymore so stop acting like it. Both of you are grown and I'm sure you two could get past all that. The only thing to do is talk. But don't talk too much; knowing you, you'll just make everything worse." Ginny laughed and smiled at Ron. "Just talk to her Ron. You won't regret it," She smiled encouragingly to Ron. "Just a minute," Ginny said suddenly. She got up and dashed out of Ron's room, only to return after a minute. "Perfect," Ginny said with a wicked smile.
"What's perfect?" asked Ron, confused.
"Nelson's not here; he left with Dad to Diagon Alley to pick up a few last minute things. Hermione is the garden!" Ron just stared at Ginny, not knowing what to feel or think. He felt nervous at the thought of finally talking to Hermione properly, but he didn't feel like he was ready. He also had no idea what to say.
"Well c'mon Ron!" Ginny said impatiently.
Ron had thought for many months now about what he would say to Hermione. And even with all that thinking, he still had no idea how to begin. But then the memories of that day came flooding into Ron's mind; the day Ron thought Hermione had left him forever. No, thought Ron, he could not let Hermione slip away from him again. He had to tell her.
He had to tell Hermione Granger that he loved her.
Feeling as though he had just drank a bottle of Felix Felicis, Ron nodded to Ginny and left his room quickly.
Although the day had started bright and sunny, it was slowly becoming gray and gloomy. There was a chill in the air and Ron had no sweater. The cold wind stung his skin but he was determined to talk to Hermione; nothing would stop him, not even a gigantic tarantula.
On most people, the gray light and somber sky would make them look weathered and tired, but on Hermione, it made her look like a fallen angel; beautiful and sad at the same time, graceful, yet full of mischief. Ron sighed and smiled at her.
"Hi," Ron said, waving his hand stupidly.
"Oh, hello," Hermione said, turning and giving him a small smile. He stood next to her.
She was standing with her arms crossed, looking at nothing in particular, Ron assumed.
Ron stood standing there without a word. Hermione kept on standing there was well, staring into space.
"Hermione I-" Ron began, but was quickly cut off by Hermione.
"Do you remember Bill and Fleur's wedding?" Hermione asked, pointing to where she had been staring at.
"Of course I do, that was the day we had to flee," Ron said, confused.
"Yes it was, but it was also the first time we ever danced together," Hermione said with a smile.
Ron looked at her. He didn't know why she bringing it up but suddenly, that day came clearly into his mind. He smiled. "Yeah I remember," Ron said, his grin becoming wider. They stood in silence for a minute or so when Hermione suddenly said,
"You know, Nelson told me he loved me after a month of dating."
Suddenly, the cold wind began to sting much harder than before, so much so, it felt unbearable for Ron. He shifted uncomfortably. He had no idea what to say but he felt his anger boiling up.
"What about you?" Ron asked in a harsh and cold tone.
Hermione looked away from Ron. She stood silent and tears began to trickle down her face. But none of this took away Ron's feeling of anger. He now felt pure anger. He felt no compassion for the girl he loved; no sympathy. He could not believe what or understand why Hermione was telling him this. He was beyond bothered and annoyed; he was furious.
"What about you Hermione," Ron spat, enunciating every syllable in Hermione's name. "How long did it take you to tell him you loved him, Hermione? Was it right after he told you? A second? Maybe a whole minute?" Ron yelled, with heavy sarcasm and barking out a laugh. Hermione held herself tighter but stood her ground; tears continued to stream down her cheeks.
"Answer me! How long did it take you?" Ron yelled, his voice cracking.
After some seconds of silence, Hermione cleared her throat and choked, "A little longer." But by now, Hermione's tears had disappeared; she was no longer holding herself. She let out a hard, cold laugh.
"Oh! What about you, Ron? How long did it take you to her you loved her? Did you send Lavender a letter right after you received her owl? Did you tell her how much you loved her as well? Right after I left?" Hermione cried, her anger matching Ron's.
"I never have!" Ron snapped, making Hermione jump and whimper.
Ron's anger began to fade and he suddenly felt strangely empty. He felt drained and worn. They stood in silence, neither one daring to move or speak.
Suddenly, there was the sound of laughter and noise in the Burrow. Someone called out Hermione's name but Ron knew who that someone was. They stood in silence a few more seconds. Hermione turned around and was about to walk towards the Burrow when she turned to Ron and said,
"It took longer than you think." And with that, Hermione sped towards and into the Burrow, vanishing from Ron's sight.
