Disclaimer: We still don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. Nothing has changed in the past year. Most likely nothing wil ever change. Life is static. Maybe someday we'll win the lottery, but until then we are poor and own nothing.
Chapter 4: Fangirls Attack and Smart People Plan
The gang of six was taking their time, strolling around the mall and looking around for more stores to go to once they finished with the bookstore. Other than the Asian store, they decided to check out Rave, Sears, some other clothes stores, and either after or sometime in-between go get something to eat. They reached the catwalk on the second floor when they heard the whispering.
"It couldn't be…" they heard a female voice say.
"But still, I haven't seen anyone with blue hair other than HIM," whispered another.
"Yeah, and those tentacle-like bangs point to one person only," said a third voice. All three authors immediately froze. They slowly turned around and had their worst nightmares confirmed. Ryouko gulped.
"Alright everyone, stay very, very calm. There's no need to pa-panic…"
"RUUUUUNNNNNNN!!" screamed Kitsune and Himizu before Ryouko could even finish the sentence, grabbing Shishi and Rando and sprinting like they were in a marathon. Ryouko grabbed Suzaku and followed suit.
"GET THEM!!" screeched female voice #1 and all three girls started chasing them. They ran up and down the escalators twice, ran back and forth on the first floor (and nearly lost them at Sears, but no such luck), and ran in circles around the fountain until finally Himizu and Ryouko forced Rando and Suzaku to pick up two benches and throw them at the three females (who were still chasing Kitsune and Shishi around the fountain). So after the throwing competition, which shocked quite a few spectators, the group scrambled out of there, leaving the dazed girls and spectators to figure out what happened for themselves. The gang found themselves yet again on the second floor catwalk, though this time they tried their best to stay out of sight. While the three authors were catching their breaths, the three demons just blinked in confusion.
"What the hell just happened?" Rando asked, completely baffled.
"Yeah, who were those three girls?" questioned Shishi.
"And why'd you make us throw benches at them?" fumed Suzaku. The three girls just looked for one to the other and sighed.
"Do you want to explain it?" Ryouko asked her colleagues. Kitsune began shaking her head vigorously while Himizu twitched uncontrollably. She even seemed on the verge of a panic attack. Ryouko sweatdropped.
"Guess not…Alright, let's not waste time on this," she took a deep breath and turned to the confused demons. "Those girls are what is known in the anime world as…fangirls." All three girls shuddered at the word. "They are creatures that find certain anime guys, bishounens in particular, and become obsessed with them. In a way, we're fangirls, only not at that advanced a level." Kitsune and Himizu nodded their heads.
"So basically," Shishi stated, "those girls are fans! What's wrong with that? I have many fans and can certainly handle three more! We must go and apologize!"
"NOOO!! YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND!! THOSE THINGS ARE EVIL, EEEEEEVVVVVIIIILLLLL!!" Himizu yelled at the top of her lungs as Kitsune jumped on her.
"Are you crazy?! You want them to find us?!" she whispered at her angrily as Himizu sat up and started breathing therapeutically.
"In through the nose, out through the teeth," she kept muttering to herself as Ryouko petted her on the head.
"Good raccoon," she said. Himizu shot her a venomous look.
"Dolphin!" she whispered, fuming.
"Raccoon, dolphin, whatever. Let's get back to the matter at hand," Ryouko said as she turned back to the three demons and Kitsune, leaving Himizu to her breathing exercises. Kitsune suddenly stood like a military commander, and started walking back and forth.
"Ok, demons and authors, the situation is this. We have three known enemy units wandering the battlefield. For all we know there could be more." She shuddered at the thought. "We must devise a plan of attack and/or evasion/retreat strategy, otherwise we're doomed. And besides, we must remember that our parental units don't know our real whereabouts, and it needs to stay that way, otherwise we won't live to see the next sunrise," she paused dramatically. "Alright troops, any suggestions or questions?"
"Well, what are we going to do about the size of our group?" Ryouko wondered. "I mean, we're six people, uh, and demons," she said as the three supernatural beings glared. "We've got to find a way to get out of the mall without being detected by the fangirls, uh, enemy units," as Kitsune glared this time, "inside or out."
"Good point, and here's another: our hair and other demonic features. They're kinda' standing out. What're we gonna' do about that?" asked Suzaku. Kitsune thought about this for a while, then started speaking.
"Alright, here's my idea. We split into pairs, human with demon. Each human takes her appointed demon to a store of some kind and gets him a disguise: sunglasses, jacket, hat, whatever he needs. We'll meet back all together near an exit (Sears or JC Penny I think will be best) in one hour and then get out of the mall and eventually get back to the library. I'll go with Shishi. Ryouko, you take Suzaku, and Himizu's got Rando. How's that?"
"Why the hell am I stuck with Rando?" Himizu stood up now. "Why can't I be stuck with Suzaku and his bird?"
"I don't care who you take, but the bird stays with me!" Ryouko growled evilly.
"And I stay with the bird," Suzaku stated firmly.
"And I promised Shishi I'd take him to the Asian store, not to mention that I want to stay with him, so basically that leaves you and Rando," Kitsune said matter-of-factly.
"But…But…But…" Himizu stuttered.
"But what?" the now-annoyed Rando asked. "Can't handle being a around a demon?"
Himizu started rubbing her arms as though she was cold, and began twitching violently.
"I can handle demons, it's the spiders I can't handle. Spiders… everywhere… with their long spider legs… and their little spider fangs… crawling up my arms and legs… burrowing into my skin…spiders…brrr…."
"What's her problem?" Rando wondered.
Ryouko and Kitsune stared at each other, then face faulted on the spot, making Rando even more confused. Ryouko suddenly jumped up, an evil cat-grin (as Himizu likes to call it) on her face.
"Now Rando," she said in a quiet voice, "you're pretty fast right?"
"Right," affirmed Rando.
"So, when Himizu sprints outta' here, you'll be able to catch up."
Now Himizu was looking at her. "What makes you thinks I'll 'sprint outta' here' as you put it?"
Ryouko put on her cat grin once more and began singing, "The Itsy Bitsy Spider…"
Himizu paled until she looked like a vampire, then she began fidgeting with no control, then she uttered a scream that would make any opera singer jealous, and, like Ryouko promised, took off sprinting. Kitsune, now on her feet, turned to Rando with final instructions.
"Remember the plan, and remind Himizu once she becomes sane again. Meet back in an hour or as early as possible in the lower exit at Sears. Get a good disguise and whatever you do, do not let Himizu see the spider on your chest or let the fangirls catch you, otherwise you're a goner. Now get running!" Rando executed a little salute and took off after Himizu.
"Well, that takes care of one pair." Kitsune sighed happily. "Now we should…" before she could finish she heard the all-too-familiar shouts and screams of the things known as fangirls.
"It seems we've been compromised!" Ryouko yelled over the screams. "We're heading this way, see you soon!" So she grabbed the annoying green bird and its owner and headed towards the stairs on the left side of the catwalk, leaving Kits and Shishi to run in the other direction and the fangirls to wonder who they should chase.