Does it matter?
Hanschen watched as Ernst moaned softly in his sleep, the younger boy had been flinching and twisting through his nightmares but now he slept more calmly, nuzzling his head into Hanschen's shoulder. The moonlight through the small window of the army supplies vehicle made Ernst's already pale skin glow with a kind of iridescent eeriness that intrigued and frightened Hanschen. It had turned colder, and Hanschen's fingers were numb.
He pulled the coarse army blanket closer around them wanting to shut out the prying eyes that would condemn the two heads, one dark, one fair, for resting together on the single pillow. The truck rattled onwards through the night and Hanschen planted a small kiss on Ernst's nose, he felt Ernst open his eyes slightly, his mouth breaking into a small smile and then, suddenly there was shock, and fear in his voice.
"What are you doing here?!"
Hanschen was taken aback; this was not the usual kind of reaction he got when he ended up in Ernst's bed. "What do you mean 'what am I doing here'" he retorted, still a little shocked at Ernst's tone.
"The General! Lausanne! Why aren't you on the other truck?" Ernst's eyes were wide now; he gripped onto Hanschen's arms as the two sat facing each other in the middle of piles and piles of army blankets, medical supplies and rations packets.
"Well do you want me to be on the other truck?" Hanschen teased
"No of course not" Ernst replied "but Hanschen-" his voice was fearful now, "When they find you we'll be-"
"Does it matter?"
"Of course it matters! I love you Hanschen, you heard what the General said, I can't watch them hang you, I can't-"
"Then I'll make sure they do you first!"
"That's not funny!" Ernst was almost in tears now,
"Hey, come on, Shhhhhh" Hanschen reached to kiss away the tracks of tears that formed a silvery pathway down Ernst's cheek only to find a hand pushing his chest away.
"Please. Don't-"
"Please Ernst-" Hanschen began to trace butterfly kisses across Ernst's neck, Ernst felt his head lean back against the cold metal wall of the army truck.
"What's the average life expectancy for a private on the front line with less than three days training? A week? Two weeks?" Hanschen continued to trace patterns across Ernst's forearm with his fingertips, ever so lightly so that every time Ernst leaned into his touch he pulled away.
"Don't say that," mumbled Ernst "don't think like that, what good does it do?"
"I'm just being realistic, look- we might not have much time left, I want to spend my time with you-"
"And there'll be time, weeks, months, years, whatever you want- We're going to come out of this alive," Ernst gasped as Hanschen's deft fingers reached his stomach, but his dark eyes remained fixed on Hanschen's blue ones, "you know we are,"
Hanschen stared at the floor, his eyes were confused and angry, his hand still resting on Ernst's, there was something about the pale, raven haired boy in front of him that made him want to believe that everything would be ok. Something in him was starting to change, he was starting to break, he was falling and by the way that Ernst reached up and stroked his cheek, Hanschen knew that Ernst had fallen too.
"Run away with me," Hanschen said suddenly
"What?" once again it was Ernst's turn to look confused.
"To England, once this is all over, run away with me"
"You're mad," Ernst laughed softly,
"You said we'd get out of this alive, I believe you, so once the war is over lets go, leave all this behind, start out somewhere new!"
Ernst stared up at Hanschen through the dark of the interior, their bodies met and Ernst bit softly down on Hanschen's lower lip, "now who's the sentimentalist?" he laughed.
Hanschen smirked, he knew that now was not the time to push Ernst any further on the subject, and that was fine with him, "What can I say maybe you're rubbing off on me?"
The army truck rattled onwards towards the battlefield, their clothes lay forgotten amidst heaps of supplies. This was one last night of love, one last night of ecstasy, and as the sounds of the shells and gunfire drifted closer through the night they both knew that it was one last night of peace.
A/N: Thanks for all the lovely reviews :) I really appreciate them. Anyways I'm off to a gig in London tomorrow so probably wont update. Thanks for reading!
xxx