January 13 2013
I stare up at the house that use to be my home, a sense of dread settling over me. The order of protection though firmly in place still just feels like a piece of paper. So far I have been able to keep my current living arrangements a secret but standing in the open in front of my torture house makes my skin crawl.
"Are you ready?"
I jump at the voice beside me turning to find Tom. "How does someone so big move so silently? Ty always just stomped around." "What are you doing here?"
"Glad to see you too, Cam," he smiles. "Figured you needed some extra muscle to help move."
"Thank you. I'm sorry I was just expecting Matt to be here with the truck."
"He stopped for coffee up the block. Line was hellishly long so I told him I'd walk and meet up with you. You want to head in?"
"Not really. Too many bad memories."
"You have to get your stuff out."
"I know. I thought there was supposed to be a cop here to enforce the whole separate moving schedule." Mr. Reid setting to work after convincing me allow him to look into monetary damages from Ty. I rejected the suggestion of child support, not wanting to help his claim for joint custody. My lawyer instead settling on taking the second most important thing from Ty. Mr. Reid requesting the house be held by the courts until everyone could come to an agreement, the judge agreeing. Both Ty and myself ordered to remove everything from the house while the lawyers battle over whether who, if anyone, has a claim on the house.
"Are you afraid that he'll show up?"
"Is this dude a mind reader?"
I open my mouth to argue before simply nodding.
"I got your back. It's okay," he sighs gently tugging me forward. "The quicker you get in there the quicker you'll never have to step in there ever again."
"Yeah. Okay," I sigh pulling my arms from his hands.
"Kiddo still hating the new school?"
"She just misses her friends," I shrug.
"You healing up alright," he asks letting me take the lead to the house.
"Give me another week and I'll be fine."
"Tough girl," he smirks.
"Just well versed in these injuries."
"This is the last time you're ever have to deal with those injuries," he states as he leans beside the door and I fumble with my keys. His eyes scan the neighborhood behind me before straightening.
"What," I ask finally getting the key in the lock.
"Nothing," he smiles, one hand coming to rest on the small of my back as he guides me into the house. "Where should we start?"
"I don't want anything from here but my clothes and Mattie's things. Let's start in the master bedroom."
"Lead the way," he states his eyes focused on the rusty stain at the bottom of the stairs.
"It's old," I sigh moving up the stairs. "Fuck," I groan. "I forgot how steep these stairs are."
"Slow and steady," Tom comments.
"Says the man with perfect ribs and leg. I'm going to be out of breath before the landing."
"Then we'll stop and take a break. We'll go as slow as you need to. Hell I'll throw you over my shoulder and carry you up there if I have to."
Images of Ty doing just that flashes behind my eyes causing my stomach to turn. Suddenly it seems like a weight is sitting on my chest as all strength leaves my legs.
"Cam?"
"Please don't," I breathe as my head spins.
A hand comes to rest on my shoulder.
"Cam? Sit down. Come on, sit down before you fall down," he states guiding me down to the step. I watch him sink to his knees two steps below me. "You okay?"
"Fine," I pant. "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize."
I fight past the weight to breathe deeply as I force myself to meet his eyes. I feel myself relax slightly as I lock on to his dark gaze.
"Force of habit," I wheeze.
"That is one habit you need to break. Don't apologize for a perfectly acceptable reaction to this place."
"It wasn't this place. At least not all of it. It was more a reaction to your words."
I watch confusion cross his face.
"Ty would throw me over his shoulder when he wanted me."
"Wanted you to do what?"
I stare back at him unable to say the words.
"Oh, fuck. When he wanted you."
I nod my eyes finally sliding from his.
"You think you can stand again," he sighs.
"Yeah. I'm all good now."
"Good. Will you accept a little help up the rest of these stairs as long as I promise not to throw you over my shoulder?"
"Sure," I smirk.
He holds out a hand to me and I tentatively wrap my hand around his allowing him to haul me to my feet.
"Thank you," I whisper.
"Don't mention it," he sighs his eyes over my shoulder. "I'm going to put my arm around you just to help support you, okay."
"Thank you," I whisper again. My head down to hide the shame coursing through me from the panic attack as we move up the stairs.
"Didn't I just say don't mention it," he chuckles softly as his fingertips stroke across my side. I try not to react to that small touch but his arm slides from me although he doesn't move away from my side. "Where to now?"
"End of the hall," I sigh leaning against the wall at the top of the stairs.
"What's there," he chin-jerks at the door beside me though his eyes stay focused further down the hall.
"Guest room slash storage. Nothing in there for me. What do you keep staring at?"
"There is a lot of dents in your walls."
"Oh God," I breath pushing past the big man and to my room. "Why did he have to notice that?"
"I didn't mean to embarrass you Cam."
"Well it is embarrassing," I mumble. "The proof of my abuse is literally written on this house. Years and years of it everywhere."
"I'm sorry," he sighs.
"Don't mention it. Fuck," I groan.
"What's wrong?"
"He fucking locked the door. It can only be opened from the inside."
"Check Mattie's room."
I hobble the short distance to my daughter's room relieved when the knob turns in my hand. "It's unlock..."
The sound of wood cracking interrupts me. Spinning I find Tom swinging my bedroom door open.
"I opened the door," he smiles.
A wave of panic washes over me. "You broke the door?"
"You need your shit."
"He's going to kill me," I whisper.
"No, he's not," he growls reaching for me before stopping himself. "He will have to get through me and your brother."
"Why are you protecting me?"
"You're my friend," he states motioning me through the door. "Plus I still need those blackmail stories."
"If that's the only reason you got my back then I may have to keep them to myself for a little longer."
"We had a deal," he chuckles.
"I never said when I would give them to you." Moving to the walk-in closet I stop short as I stare at the mostly empty side that was mine.
"What is it?"
"My clothes are gone."
"There's clothes right there," he motions over my shoulder.
"Those are not mine," I whisper moving towards the clothing there.
"Whose are…"
"His side bitch that I'm not supposed to know about. Neighbor from a few blocks over. I remember some of these trashy tops as hers. He is apparently moving her in."
"It's my understanding that he can't do that. Neither one of you are supposed to be actually living here."
"Ty is not one to listen when told what to do. I'm more concerned about where my stuff is," I state surveying the closet as Tom disappears into the bedroom.
"Stay where you are, Cam," Tom calls from down the hall.
"Why," I call back.
"Just stay."
"What's going on," Matt asks.
"I would like to know the same thing."
"Cam, stay," Matt barks from Mattie's playroom.
"I'm not a damn dog."
"Just trust us," Matt states blocking the door.
"Forgive me if I have trust issues," I sigh ducking around my brother.
"Cam," he sighs annoyed.
"What is going on?"
Tom motions to the box sitting in the center of the room, his head turned. Glancing at the box I find "Camille's Shit" scrawled in Ty's handwriting. "What did he do?"
"You don't want to know," Tom chokes.
Taking another step forward the smell hits me. "Oh God," I gag. "Did he…"
"Yeah," Matt mutters.
"He made sure it was coating everything from what I could see," Tom growls.
"Of course he did," I sigh stepping back.
"Cami…"
"Can one of you toss that out the window," I motion to the back wall. "I'll burn it before we leave."
"Cami…"
"Everything in there is replaceable."
"Ok. I'll take it down," Matt states stepping around. "Why don't you start gathering Mattie's things?"
"Ok," I sigh moving through the bathroom adjoining the playroom to Mattie's room.
"What do you need me to do," Tom asks behind me as I move to her dresser.
"Just dismantle…" I start before a sudden thought hits me. "Actually I need you in the master bedroom for a second," I state hobbling that direction.
"Why don't you just tell me what you need?"
"Because I need to show you which ones to grab."
Entering the bedroom again, I point to the small canvass landscapes along the wall. "All five of those."
"Okay, what's so special about these," he asks pulling them from the wall.
I point to the copyright in the bottom left corner.
"What is Yinz Photography?"
"Me. They are mine. Ty never knew where they came from. I told him I bought them. I might be able to sell them to a couple of Ty's friend's wives if they are still talking to me."
"Or a gallery."
"And that one," I point over the bed at the large canvass piece there. It takes up most of the wall there stretching the length of our king-sized bed and from the ceiling to the low headboard. It is a portrait of two people leaning on opposite sides of a huge oak tree. The figures blacked out to mere silhouettes.
"Whoa, that yours too?"
I nod.
"You're really good."
"I was. I haven't really gotten to do it much since… I haven't gotten to do it openly in a very long time."
"Maybe you could get back into it. Matt would…"
"I'm not taking advantage of Matt any further."
"What now," Matt questions behind me.
"I was going to suggest you help her get back into photography," Tom shrugs moving for the portrait.
"I remember that day," Matt smiles. "Mom still has the original. This one is pretty bad ass though."
"It was just great models," I smile.
"I'll help him. Go get Mattie's stuff boxed up."
I nod hobbling back down the hall.
"Well, well, well, look who decided come crawling back," Ty's voice sneers behind me as I tape up the boxes of toys from Mattie's playroom Tom sent down. It being decided by the two men that it was best for me to stay downstairs after they found me out of breath from overexerting myself.
"You're not supposed to be here while I'm moving my stuff out," I state not bothering to turn to face the man. I can't bring myself to look at my abuser.
"You don't have stuff. Everything in this house is mine," he growls.
"Then what was in the box marked "Camille's shit"?"
"You should have opened it."
"I did. Very mature. Don't worry, I won't be taking any of that with me. The only things I'm taking are Mattie's things, her bed…"
"I bought all that," he interrupts.
"Really? You're such an asshole that you're going to deny your daughter her own bed. You have pulled some bullshit stunts but that tops all of them."
"Don't," a female voice commands.
"Hello Beth," I chuckle. "I see you're trying to move in."
"It's my place. I can have whomever I want here and in my bed."
"You might want to rethink that statement," my brother growls as he descends the stairs. "Because I believe there is a judge somewhere that might be a little upset to hear you say that."
"Matt," Ty snorts. "I should have known. Did she come running back to you telling how mean I was to her? Look around Matt, I gave her everything she could ever want. She didn't have to work a day since we left. I went to school. I got a degree. I worked my ass off. All she had to do was lay on her ass, take care of my house and kid, and show me some God damn affection every now and then. She couldn't even do that."
"You may be able to paint her as the bad guy in your story to her," Matt points to the blonde standing with my husband. "But I saw my terrified niece that night. I saw them carry my sister's lifeless body out of this house, not knowing if she was alive of dead. I saw her in that hospital bed. I see her struggle every day from what you did to her. What you did to her for fifteen years."
"I didn't do anything to her."
"Seventeen miscarriages," Matt growls lowly advancing.
"Matt don't," I whisper meeting his eyes. "Don't give him any ammunition."
"Listen to your sister, Matt," Tom sighs carrying three more boxes in one arm, another one of my landscapes clutched in his opposite hand. "If he's not man enough to keep his hands off a woman, he's pussy enough to file a report against you for giving him the beating he deserves."
"And who are you," Ty sneers.
"No one you need to worry about unless you put your hands on Cam." He drops the boxes at my feet. Setting the canvas among the others, he turns back to Ty. "The second you try it though, there will be a Tyson sized holes in the wall upstairs."
Ty steps back slightly, putting himself behind Beth.
"Exactly what I thought," Tom chuckles moving to the kitchen.
"Those are mine," Ty mutters as Tom disappears, motioning to the canvasses. "I paid for them."
"You paid for the canvases but they're my intellectual property."
"What are you talking about?"
"Look at the copyright, Dumbass," Matt mutters. "They're her photos."
Ty's jaw clenches as he pulls Beth backwards. "I'll see you in court, Camille."
"Was that a threat," Matt growls and I step in front of my brother.
"Matt, please," I plead. "I need your help."
"What do you need," he sighs, keeping his eyes over my shoulders.
"My camera and computer," I whisper. "I have them hidden in the basement. I'll never make it down there."
"Let's go then. You're going to let me replace your clothing."
"I'm going to pay you back after I sell those photos."
"Deal."
"Thank you for being here for me," I state as we enter the kitchen. We find Tom leaning against the counter, a bottle of water in his hands. "Both of you."
"Don't mention it," Tom mutters.
"Okay," I smirk.