It only took a week, but I've moved across the country and gotten myself somewhat settled. Now you can expect a chapter every three days or so.
This chapter is going to be from Emma's point of view. Most of the chapters will be third person point of view, however, every once in awhile I like to mix it up. Let me know what you think, do you like first person POV or third person? This chapter is a little long, I got a little excited to be writing again. So excited in fact that you may have a second chapter coming later today. 3A
Warning: There is some physical abuse of a minor in this chapter. It's not too intense, but it's there. Read at your own discretion.
XX XX
If I keep my eyes closed then it won't be a dream, I'll always be their daughter. How long do you think I can get away with sleeping?
The door slams open, "Emma, get up. Clara's in a hissy fit. I guess your social worker called this morning. Don't get on her bad side."
"Thanks, Max." Max was the closest person I had to a friend. We had been in the most group homes together. Man, I guess that means I have to finally open my eyes. "Wait Max!"
Max turned around, "What?"
"Why did Emory call? Do you know what she wants?" My heart feels like it's going to pop out of my chest, I don't think I'm actually breathing. What could Emory possibly want? This has been the longest I've stayed at a home without getting in trouble, well without getting into so much trouble that the foster parents wanted to give me up.
"Something about an appointment after school. I don't know why don't you see if Clara will tell you?" Max was always one for being brave and not taking crap from anyone. I think if I stay here too long, I might start to act more like Max.
"Oh, ok. Thanks." I get dressed and brush my hair. What kind of appointment would Emory make for me? I haven't had to go to a shrink since I refused to speak to the last three. It can't possibly be that. I had my physical three months ago, not supposed to get one until next year. Unless, they found something wrong, which they shouldn't I was very careful with what I said. I guess I just have to do what Max said and ask crazy Clara. She's always so moody in the morning. Why did Emory have to do this to me?
XX XX
"EMMA!" Well, Clara knows I'm here. Maybe if I do everything perfectly she'll be less cruel. Rule one, always walk quickly to her when she calls your name. Check. Rule two, answer her respectfully.
"Yes, ma'am." Check. Rule three, don't make eye contact. Check. Rule four, don't speak unless spoken to. Check
"You're going to an appointment with Emory and those people who brought you home last night. They seem to think that they're your parents. Why would anyone want you?" Don't answer her, don't answer her, that's not a real question. Eyes down. "I hope you're not excited about this. You know they really aren't your parents? They're just some crazy people, they probably just want to take you and make you their slave. You know that there aren't any parents out there for you? You were abandoned and no one will ever think of you as their daughter. You're just lucky that I've kept you for so long. Maybe after this appointment or whatever I can get Emory to send you away." That's fine. I don't like you anyways. "You're the ugliest kid I've ever had to watch. I hope you know that. Emma!?"
Oww, what did I miss? Why did she hit me. I thought I was doing a good job. Rule two… "Yes, ma'am." My cheek really hurts, why does she always hit me there. At least with the Johnsons' they would hit on the arm or back, somewhere that wasn't visible. Hopefully this isn't too bad.
"You know you're ugly right?" I'm just going to shake my head, that's all she wants anyway. "And no one wants you." Shaking my head makes my cheek hurt again. I really hope this is that last pointless question. "Emma, answer me. Tell me that you are ugly and no one wants you."
I hate her. She just wants to make me cry. I'm not going to cry. Deep breath, "I'm ugly and no one wants me. May I go to school now?" Whoops, probably not the best time to ask that question. She looks really mad now. Maybe I should run. Exits. I could run out the back door, but I have to get by her without getting grabbed. I can turn around and go through the front door, but then she might throw something at me. I wasn't quick enough last time. Oh no, she's coming at me.
"You do not get to ask me when you go to school!" She's definitely strong, I'm pretty sure my arms are going to explode like a grape when you squeeze it too hard. "I am the adult. I tell you what to do. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, ma'am. 'M sorry." Look down, look sad, look like you're about to cry. That's what she wants. She wants me to cry. Now she's got me by one arm, that can only mean one thing. SMACK. Yup, there it was. It wasn't as hard as I thought, guess she isn't as strong as I thought. I'll still be able to sit at school, that's all that matters.
"Get out of here, I don't want to see your face for the rest of the day. In fact, I'm going to tell Emory I don't want you to come back here ever again. I suggest you pack your stuff and take it to school." She finally lets go of my arm and it's like a rush of boiling water down my arm. Ouch.
I run upstairs and pack my clothes in my bookbag. I have to find my blanket, crazy Clara took it from me the first night. Max! Max would know where it is.
"Max! Do you know where my crazy Clara would have put my blanket? I need it, she's kicking me out because I might have parents."
Max's eyes get really big, "Well, that's a lot of information. What do you mean you might have parents?"
"They're taking me to an appointment to see if they're my parents. They told me last night that they were my parents, and I kind of believe them. Clara doesn't like that I might have someone to take care of me so she said she doesn't want to see me ever again. I need my blanket though. It's the only thing I have from my parents… and if these people aren't really my parents I need it to find my real parents. Please, do you know where it is?"
Max leaves the room and comes back in with my blanket. "She hides everything on the top shelf in the bathroom cabinets. I found it yesterday. I was going to surprise you tonight, but I guess this is goodbye."
"If they're really my parents I'll see if I can visit you. And if they aren't my parents, then I'll probably see you in another group home soon. So, it's not really goodbye then."
"Sound good, Emma. See you later." Max gives me one of those awkward side hugs.
XX XX
It's really early, I don't think school is open yet. Maybe I'll just go by and one of the teachers will be there. I didn't get to have breakfast. Maybe it's someone's birthday and I'll be able to get a snack before lunch. My stomach is so loud right now. Oh look, no one's at school, not even the sun. It's so early. Maybe I'll sleep for a little on the bench.
"Emma, sweetie." Who is waking me up so gently? Man, there's a lot of sleep in my eyes. Maybe if I blink really fast I'll be able to see. Oh, it's Snow, or my mom. What do I call her?
"Uh, hi." Well that was weak. I wish my voice wasn't so scared. I'm happy to see her and look there's David, sitting on the other side of the bench. I'll give him a smile, I think he likes it when I smile. Yep, he does. He smiles all the way to his eyes when he smiles. Maybe I'll be able to do that one day.
"What are you doing sleeping out here, honey?" Snow sits down and starts rubbing my back. It's the nicest feeling I've ever felt. No one has ever been so nice to me before. Maybe she really is my mom. I just want to sit like this forever, but I should probably answer her at some point.
"Um, well." Truth or lie, what do I say.
David scoots closer to me and puts his hand on my head. "You don't have to lie to us. We know that Miss Clara isn't nice. We just want to know what she did. We won't be mad at you." He cups my face with his hands. "We won't ever be mad at you if someone else hurt you."
I want to tell them everything, they're so nice. He's telling the truth I know he is, his eyes have so much warmth in them. I don't know what it is, but I like when he looks at me like that. Look at my thumbs, sometimes if I stare at my thumbs long enough people leave me alone and then I don't have to lie or answer their questions.
"Did she do this?" David strokes the side of my face and I remember the burning feeling. It still hurts, a lot. I never did get a chance to look in the mirror.
I look up at him and see that warmth. I feel like I can tell him anything right now and he would believe every word I say. Maybe I should tell them. They've never been mean to me, only nice. "Yes… and she grabbed my arms really hard. I thought they were going to explode. I asked too many questions and she didn't like it so she smacked me. I shouldn't have asked her a question when she was yelling at me. I was supposed to listen, I forgot some of the rules." David looks like he's about to cry. Maybe I shouldn't have told him. Maybe they don't want me anymore. Maybe now they're going to find a better daughter. I should go.
"Sweetie, look at me." I turn around and look at Snow. Her voice is so soft. When she talks I always feel like she's singing me a lullaby. "Have you had breakfast?" I shake my head no, I can't seem to find my voice. Why is she asking me if I had breakfast? "Ok, well David is going to go get us some breakfast. I have some work I needed to get to this morning so we were going to have breakfast in my classroom. Would you like to join us?"
These are the best people in the whole wide world. I really hope they're my parents. I hope I can be a good daughter. "Yes please."
"Ok then, I'll be right back. See you ladies in a few minutes." David gets up and leaves, but before he goes he kisses Snow and then he kisses the top of my head. I look up at him and smile. He's so nice, I didn't even know big boys could be nice like that. I thought they were all mad and mean.
"How about we get your bag and head inside. I'd like to look at your arms if that's ok with you. We can go to the teacher's lounge and get you ice, if it hurts. What do you think?" She's always asking what I want to do. Aren't parents supposed to tell you what to do. It's easier sometimes when they just tell me what to do, that way I don't mess up.
"I guess that would be ok."
Snow grabs my bag and holds it out toward me, "Do you want to carry your bag or would you like me to carry it?"
So many questions. "Umm, I can carry it if you don't want to."
"Honey, look at me." I look at her, she's on her knee now so it's easier to see her eyes. "I'm only asking you what you want because I really want to know. There isn't a wrong answer. If I ask you a question and there are options it's so that you feel like you have some control. I don't want you to feel like you don't have a say in how things go. So do you really want to carry your bag or would you like me to carry it?"
"Can you carry it please? It hurts when I put it over my arms and it's too heavy to hold just the handle." I believe her when she says that I there's no wrong answer, but no one has ever said that to me before. I hope she's not tricking me. I don't think she is, her eyes are warm too. She isn't going to hurt me, I just have to remember that. Maybe I'll try to give her a hug again today, she like when I do that.
"I would love to carry your bag for you Emma, especially if it hurts you. Now, let's get you some ice for those arms. I want you to have a good day. David and I have something exciting to tell you once he gets back." Snow squeezes my hand, but it doesn't hurt. It's more like she's really excited and she wants me to feel how excited she is.
We go inside and get ice for my arms, they don't look as bad as I thought they would, but Snow still winces when she sees them. I can see her eyes start to get cloudy, like she wants to cry but decides not to. Why would she want to cry? She puts some green cream on my face and the sting goes away a little. It feel nice when she massages it into my cheek, she has really soft hands and she is really gentle when she touches me. She does some work at her desk while I finish my homework that I didn't do last night. She even helps me with a few questions, which is really nice because usually I just make up answers and hope for the best. David comes back with a bag of food from McDonalds and three cups. We push three desks together and make our own little table. He hands me a sandwich and two hashbrowns, hashbrowns are my favorite! I get apple juice, which is good because most people try to make me drink orange juice for breakfast. When I open my sandwich I notice that it has bacon and not sausage. It's like he knew everything that I really liked.
"How did you know what to get me?"
David points to all the stuff in front of Snow, "Lucky guess. Snow doesn't like sausage and she loves hashbrowns. I figured you didn't like orange juice because when we were looking at ice cream flavors you crinkled your nose when I pointed at the orange sherbert. Lucky guess."
"Good guess. I only like apple juice, I don't like any other kinds of apples. My foster families always get mad at me when I don't eat apple slices, but they just don't look good. I don't know why."
"I don't like apples either." I like almost all the same things that Snow does and she doesn't like apples either. Maybe we can be related, we do have similar chins.
"Um," Nevermind, maybe I shouldn't ask questions. "Nevermind. Thank you for breakfast."
David stretches across the desks and gently squeezes my hand, "It's ok Em. You can ask us anything whenever you want. What did you want to know?"
"Well, um. What was the exciting news you were going to tell me?" I look down after I ask, it's like I don't want to be wrong and they're just all the sudden going to turn into mean people. It's still so new to have people that want me to ask questions and don't hurt me when I'm not perfect. I don't want to press my luck.
"Oh, that news!" Snow sounds happy. That's a good sign. "We wanted to let you know what is going to happen in the next few days. We talked to your social worker, Emory last night."
"You did!" That's the reason Emory called early this morning. She must believe them or she wouldn't have been so quick.
"We did. We told her that you're our daughter and that we want to bring you home."
This is all so exciting, I can't sit down. I'll just get up on my knees. "What did she say?"
"She said that we have to get a DNA test done. Do you know what that is?"
I do. "It's where they find out if you're really my parents. That's why crazy Clara was mad at me this morning. She said no one wants me, but you do?"
David grabs my hand again, "We do Em."
"And after the DNA test comes back on Tuesday you'll be able to come live with us on Wednesday."
"So you have a house now?"
"That's the other exciting news. We are going to sign all the papers tomorrow and we can move in on Monday. Emory said she'd be over on Tuesday to give us the good news and to look around the house."
How are they so sure that the DNA test is going to come back with good news, maybe I'm not really their daughter. "But how do you know that you're really my parents?"
"Do you happen to have a white blanket with purple ribbon? It has your name stitched on the corner in purple thread." She knows about my blanket, how is that even possible? I haven't showed them my blanket.
I run over to my bag and get my blanket out of the bottom. Even if Snow had looked in my bag she wouldn't have been able to see my blanket. I turn around and look at them, "How did you know about this?"
Snow walks over and kneels in front of me. "My best friend's grandmother knitted this for you before you were born."
"But if you wanted me, then why didn't I always live with you?"
A few tears started to roll down my cheeks. I don't normally cry, but this is a lot of information. I might actually have parents. On top of that I might actually have parents that have always wanted me.
"There was a really bad person in my life that didn't want me to be happy so she made sure that we weren't able to find you."
David walks over and kneels too, "But here's the thing princess. There's something you need to know about this family, we always find each other. We've been looking for you and now that we've found you we'll never let you go."
I believe them! They're not lying. I jump into Snow's arms, David wraps us both in his arms and puts his hand on the back of my head. This is what it feel like. "Is this love?"
Snow laughs a little, "Yes, baby. This is love!" She kisses me on my forehead. I like that. I like her. I like David. I like being wanted.
Oh no, but now I have to go somewhere else. Crazy Clara threw me out. "What am I going to do until Wednesday? I have to go somewhere else. Miss Clara threw me out. She doesn't ever want to see me again. What if they send me somewhere and you can't find me again? I don't want to lose you again!" I squeeze Snow tighter, I don't ever want her to let me go. I want to stay in her arms forever.
"Baby look at me." I pull away from Snow a little and look up into her eyes. "We are working with Emory, she is going to make sure that she knows where you are at all times so that you can live with us. After school we're going to take you to the hospital to get the DNA test. When we're finished we'll talk to Emory and find out what we can do. Everything is going to be ok."
I feel the tears coming again, no one has ever been so nice. This is the best feeling, "I… I trust you."
"How about we finish breakfast? It's going to be an even longer day if your stomach is growling all day." David kisses the top of my head and then the top of Snow's.
We all get up and go to the desks to finish our breakfast. Today is going to be a good day, even if it didn't start out that way. I look up from my sandwich and see Snow and David smiling at me. Those are my parents and they love me, yes, this is going to be a good day.