Six in the morning arrived sooner than anyone would have liked. Willow and Buffy had cuddled in a shared bed and their flannel pajamas were gluing them together. "Ugh."
"Whoa." Willow almost fell off the bed, but Buffy caught her.
"Watch it, Wills."
"Maybe both of us wearing flannel at the same time shouldn't be a thing." Willow pecked Buffy on the lips and then hopped out of bed. She needed to shower and brush her teeth. "I think I should meet Tara at the bus station rather than expecting her to get to the school on her own."
Buffy smiled tightly. "Good idea."
"I know that with all the ex's flying around right now things are weird. It is for all involved. Spike and Angel are still in love with you, and now Tara's going to be here. Let's not forget Oz, seeing him last night had my back so tense it could have broken with too big an inhale. Not to mention we're teenagers and we've got atomic levels of hormones raging through us right now. We should talk about it sometime. But right now we have to get ready for the day and you should see your mother off." Willow made a manic gesture with her hands before pivoting toward the bathroom.
With a sigh, Buffy muttered, "You are so not wrong." She bent down and picked up the scythe. "At least we have you though. I'm sure you could cut through the tension without losing a speck of shine."
Half an hour later saw both girls in the kitchen with Joyce and Giles. "I understand how difficult this must be for you, Mrs. Summers. But I do believe you are doing the right thing."
"I feel like I'm abandoning my only child." Joyce fidgeted with her keys. "Arleen's meeting me at the airport. Are you sure you can drive, Willow?"
"Even if I wasn't from the future, I got my driver's license two months ago." Willow held her hand out for the keys. "I'll wait in the car. Giles, you should wait for Buffy outside too."
"Oh, yes, quite." Giles followed Willow out of the house.
"Oh, Buffy. Are you sure?"
Buffy grabbed her mother and held on tightly. "I'm sure. I hate this, but I'm sure."
"I'm a phone call away if you need me." Joyce squeezed her daughter. "I'm going to worry, so call all the time. Every half hour if you can."
"Mom."
"OK, every hour."
They pulled away from each other and Buffy said, "I'll call as often as I can."
Willow put the car in reverse when Joyce got into the passenger seat. "We're making a stop at the bus depot. There's someone I have to pick up and your flight doesn't leave for a few hours."
Tara stared at Willow as they drove Mrs. Summers to the airport. "Thanks for picking me up. I-I still can't believe I'm doing this."
"Thank you for coming. Really this is above and beyond." Willow pulled into the drop off lane and smiled at Joyce. "I'll take care of everything. Don't worry."
"How can I not?"
"Sorry bad choice of words. I won't let anything happen to Buffy, I promise." Willow touched Joyce's shoulder. "We'll see you again soon."
The older woman opened and closed her mouth, tried to smile and then just got out of the SUV. Once she had her luggage in hand, she disappeared into the airport and Tara switched to the front seat.
Willow's stomach plummeted when Tara looked at her the way she had when they'd first got together. But the image of Tara's face as she said her final words, 'Your shirt,' overlaid the image of her youthfully fresh face. Was she sentencing Tara to die again by bringing her here now? Could she survive losing her again? They couldn't be with each other. It'd be too ooky. Willow was too old to be with someone Tara's current age. After all Willow was older than her by almost seven years. That's a lifetime of difference for a teenager.
The ride to the school was made in awkward tension filled silence. Every time Willow opened her mouth to explain things, the less she knew what to say. She managed to mutter something about following her to the library when they parked, but as soon as they got there, Willow bailed.
Buffy found Willow in the girls' locker room showering with half her clothes still on and sobbing hard enough to choke on the hot water. Without hesitation she wrapped her arms around Willow. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have never had you call her."
She had to reach to turn off the hot water and found that no cold was on. "Oh, Willow. Why are you punishing yourself?"
"I-I-I disrespected her memory so completely. So completely. She's so gentle, and I tortured and killed in her name. I'm the most disgusting thing. I'm worse than the worst demon because I did that with a soul. And I never felt truly sorry for what I did. Not until now. I don't think I can do this. Buffy, I'm not strong like you. I can't do this." They fell to the ground, Willow still cradled in Buffy's arms.
"Shh. It's OK. We'll find a way to do this without her."
"She ran away for this. Her family. They're so terrible."
"You're right. We can't send her back to them. I don't know what to do. But we'll figure something out. Together." Buffy wiped Willow's hair away from her face and kissed her temple. "We'll figure it out."
Tara listened to Giles' long winded explanation of what was going on with morbid fascination. Time travel, The First Evil, the Hellmouth, these were things she'd never even heard of being possible. But it all made sense to her.
"Willow swears that you've got the most noble morality and that you should get veto rights to all decisions. Keep us from trying to defeat evil by using evil. Do you think you're up to such a task?"
"I-I c-can try." Tara turned to the library doors when they swung open. "Wh-What happened?"
Buffy and Willow were still dripping wet. And Willow wouldn't look anyone in the eye. Buffy's arm was wrapped around her shoulders and she shrugged with the other shoulder. "We had to deal with some future traumas coming back to haunt us."
"Oh. Can I d-do something?" Tara asked as she took off her sweater and tried to hand it to Willow, who shrank back. "Um, how do you know me?"
Willow shoved Buffy's arm off her and bolted for the door again. This time Buffy stayed. "You were part of our little family in the future. It didn't last as long as Willow or any of us would have liked. Sometimes the biggest evils are the human ones."
Tara didn't press even though she didn't understand. "I have a suggestion."
"By all means, we can use all the help we can get." Buffy plopped into a chair at the table.
"There's a cleansing ritual we could do. For everyone involved. Clear the negative thoughts and emotions away so we can be at our best." Tara sat awkwardly across from Buffy.
"That sounds perfect, Tara. Thank you." Buffy's eyes kept flitting to the doors. "I should go after again."
When Buffy couldn't find Willow, she settled for stopping by Dr. Gregory's classroom. "Can I talk to you?"
"Yes, Buffy?" Dr. Gregory said as he gestured to a chair.
"Now this is going to sound mucho crazed, but I found a species of praying mantis that's human sized and can bend our perception to see a person instead. And I don't want you to get hurt, so be careful, OK?"
"That doesn't sound as strange as you'd think. I've lived in this town long enough to know that some impossible things happen. If you say this exists, while I'd prefer proof, I will be extra cautious. How's that?" His smile was gentle and caring.
"Great."
"Now, I should give you the homework you missed already since arriving." He took out his planner and handed her a notebook and pencil. "You'll want to write this down."
Several hours later, Tara had all the spell ingredients together, and they were all at Buffy's house. There were a lot more people than she expected. And she kept repeating their names over and over in her head. Cordelia, Xander, Buffy, Giles, Angel, Spike, Oz, Jesse, Willow, Amy, Catherine, though Catherine might need some extra cleansing if her aura was anything to go by.
Willow had been silent all day. No matter what anyone did or said, they couldn't get much reaction out of her let alone get a smile. Buffy thought she might give Angel a run for his brood money.
Everyone crowded into the Summers' backyard and into the circle Tara had created. White flowers of many varieties littered the ground wafting their sweet scent through the crowd. There were murmured conversations that hushed the moment Tara said in a loud clear voice, "Quiet."
She used a censor to flick water on everyone and chanted. "Be high in spirit ye shall succeed. Power of the Elements Five, Will help Mother Nature stay alive. From grains of Earth to the moving Air. Past the burning Fire that magick flares. Flow with Water, lakes, and streams; Around the Spirit's aura and dreams."
The flowers floated up and danced between the people until they evaporated into sparks that ended into a glisten in everyone's eyes. This surprised Tara. She'd never had the strength to pull that spell off to perfection like that before. But she saw a crackle around Willow's fingertips and suspected she had some help.
Tara went to talk to Willow, but the redhead disappeared inside, followed by the shorter vampire. Curious, Tara followed and ended up eavesdropping on their conversation.
"Spike. How do you do it?"
"Do what?" he asked.
"Be around Buffy after what you did to her?"
"Now or when I had a soul?"
"Soul," Willow said.
"Well, I avoided her at first but I was still drawn to her, so that made things hard. Tried to act like nothing had changed even though it had. I didn't want to put my guilt on her, so I tried to act as normal as I could. Why?"
"Tara."
"But you aren't to blame for what happened to her, pet."
Tara risked peeking around the corner and saw Spike push Willow's hair behind her ear.
"Aren't I?" Willow asked. "If she hadn't been with me, she'd never have been in the path of that bullet. And now I bring her here again. When the danger is way bigger and hairier. I can't be responsible for her death again. I turned into a monster last time, and I can't do that again. I can't go through that kind of grief and not want to end the world. I'm not that strong."
"Oh, God," Tara gasped alerting Spike and Willow to her presence.
"Oh, Goddess," Willow said as she gulped down more guilt.
"Tara," Spike said, "might as well come out here and hear the whole story."
"I can't stay here." Tara's paler took on a green hue as she headed for the front door.
Spike grabbed her arm. "It's not safe out there by yourself. I'll take you anywhere you want though."
"I want to go home."
A tear fell down Willow's cheek. "Spike, give her your jet stone."
Spike nodded and pulled the stone out of his pocket and handed it to Tara. "There now, love. That'll take you anywhere you want to go."
Tara wrapped her fingers around the stone and disappeared.
Willow's knees went out, and Spike caught her before she hit the ground and helped her to the couch. "It's for the best."
She nodded and sighed. "I need to get some sleep."
"Can you get yourself upstairs?"
"I think so." She pushed herself back to her feet and slowly climbed the stairs.
The rest of the gang came back inside then, still in awe of how they felt.
"Where's Willow?" Jesse asked.
"She's had a rough few days and was a bit knackered. Went to bed early." Spike met Buffy's gaze before the slayer trotted up the stairs after Red and breaking his heart again.
"How could she be tired after that spell?" Cordelia asked. "I feel fabulous."
"Magic affects different people in different ways," Giles said as he took a seat on the couch. "My question is as to Tara's whereabouts."
"She left. She wanted to go home, so I gave her my jet stone and she left." Spike leaned in the doorway.
Angel caught Spike's forlorn expression. "What aren't you telling us?"
"I'm not telling you a lot. But this one, isn't mine to tell." Spike rolled his eyes at Angel's scowl. "I may be a monster but there are lines not even I'll cross."
"Since when?"
"That story would be one I won't ever be telling you." Spike pushed off and went upstairs, see what the girls were up to. But Angel followed him. "Get it through your thick forehead right now. Buffy and you aren't gonna happen."
"Doesn't mean I can't protect her from you."
Spike puckered his lips as he sucked his teeth. "That's what I'm doing up here. Needed to talk to Red again. She's gonna give me a soul, keep my demon in check. Already got the ingredients even."
"Thought she was tired." Angel lifted an eyebrow.
"Wasn't going to ask her to do the spell tonight. Just wanted to give her the Orb of Thesulah for safe keeping. So why don't you toddle off." Spike made a shooing gesture toward the stairs.
Angel crossed his arms over his chest and set his countenance into the perfect image of stubborn.
"Fine. Chaperone. But you might want to drop the misogynist bullshit. Buffy and Willow are more than capable of taking care of themselves. Doubt they want you pulling the macho card and hovering over them like they're spun glass." Spike turned and walked the last four feet to Buffy's door and knocked.
Moments later, Buffy opened the door and with a long face stepped aside to let Spike and Angel enter. Willow was sitting on the bed, arms wrapped around the knees pulled up to her chest. She still looked upset, but not as dead as she had before.
Spike pulled the Orb of Thesulah out of his deep trench coat pocket and handed it to her. "Thought you could look after this until you're ready to use it."
His fingers brushed against her palm and there was charge to the fleeting touch, like magnets pulling toward each other. With her bandaged hand, she grabbed his hand and met his gaze. "Don't go."
Buffy sniffed. "Was there something you wanted, Angel?"
"Just making sure Spike doesn't hassle you."
"We're fine. You should go back downstairs with the others." Buffy followed him to the door and closed and locked it behind him.
Willow and Spike hadn't moved a centimeter. Buffy watched them closely. There was something between them, but she knew that because she could feel it too. Whatever drew them together, she let it pull her to their side. She sat on the bed and added her bandaged hand to theirs. A flash of red light burst through their clasped hands and something that had once been tenuous was now a solid mass within them. A part of Spike and Willow were inside Buffy, and Willow held within her parts of Buffy and Spike, and Willow and Buffy housed a piece of themselves in Spike. But the connection, while powerful, wasn't clean.