Vale of Avalon

Chapter Four

I should have expected this; I didn't know why I had let my hopes get up. It had only been wishful thinking, after all. There was no reason for me to fantasize about Takuma's reaction when I didn't know him well enough to predict anything. Things may have seemed to be moving forward in a more intimate -or at the very least friendly- direction between us after our chat on the grounds, but it had only been him being polite. He hadn't felt a thing, which was obvious when I didn't earn so much as a glance from him at last night's ceremony of passage. I had been inadvertently ignored: in other words, rejected without the boy even knowing he was turning me down. It was just the simple fact that Takuma hadn't bothered to approach me that said everything. He didn't even care enough to send over a smile.

Then again, I couldn't recall him smiling at all the night before. In truth, that fact alone was more disturbing than the pointless plague hundreds of years ago that Kurogane-sensei was trying to distract me with in my morning history lesson. Who had ever heard of Ichijou Takuma not wearing a light, cheery grin? It was an uncharacteristic turn that had me biting my lip in anxiety. I didn't need to be on speaking terms with Takuma to know that something had to be wrong, if only a thing as simple as an off day. But what if it were more serious? I didn't know. I was concerned nonetheless, unrightfully so. Who was I to worry over Takuma? Who was I to ponder the causes of his mood and yearn to offer my comfort? I was no one: not to him. I didn't exist in Ichijou Takuma's world.

Witnessing his detached frown and dull eyes had sent me into a depression. It was as if Takuma's bizarre state had contorted my world into a morbid carnival Fun House - I could practically see the clowns' jeering faces in every mirror I came across. His melancholy mood was contagious.

I had knelled back to my room last night in the aftermath, shivering and brooding like I had at very few times in my life. What could have happened? What was it that had moved the mountain's of Takuma's spirit and turned that smile inside-out? I wanted to know. It had to have been important, something bigger than me; A thing that truly mattered on Takuma's plane.

Class had been drudging and full of annoyances, what with the plethora of falsely caring classmates asking about my health and poking their noses into my personal life. Was this how Takuma had felt about me? He had never found the will to bond with me because I had been perfunctorily dismissed as another adorning fly? I couldn't blame him. This was a horrible feeling, to be surrounded on all sides by people who didn't know the first thing about you and yet seemed to contest for your attention; If they had known me at all, they could tell that I hated being in the lime light. And all of this was just from a single sick day - I couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like to be a member of the Night Class and face the crowds just walking to class every single night.

"Eden-chan, are you alright?" Zuri questioned later on over lunch. I blinked, snapping out of my reverie and looking up with a blank face. She tilted her head, eyes softening in concern. "You've been acting really strange ever since you got sick the other day. Are you not recovered yet? You should go to the nurse and be send back to your room to sleep it off some more."

I lowered my gaze again, raking my fork over the mound of mashed potatoes piled onto my tray. Honestly, I really should have taken her advice. I didn't know what was wrong with me - there was no way that Takuma's unhappiness could make me physically ill. There was something else happening, something I just couldn't put my finger on.

"I'm not sure," I settled quietly after a moment, wondering how much of my feelings I should put into details for the group. Eventually, it came down to just blurting out everything that was bothering me (minus Takuma) in a carefully constructed nutshell.

"I just have a weird feeling," I began slowly, already second guessing myself for confiding in the others. "…like something's wrong, maybe. I mean, it's hard to explain, but…"

I stopped. Would they think I was crazy if I said it? But I had to finish it now - I had admitted too much for them to accept my withdrawal. I just had to get it all out without any sensory.

"…I feel like I missed something; There's this blank space in my head that should be filled, but I don't know what's missing…"

Three expressionless faces stared back at me in response.

"Okay…" Madoka supplied. For that, I was grateful. The tensed silence had begun made me fear for my sanity.

At the same time, I couldn't help but sigh dejectedly and go back to my dissection of the meal. Of course they wouldn't understand: I didn't even understand. There was no one to turn to in this situation - I had to work things out on my own.

"It's probably just one of your symptoms," Zuri tried to assure me, obviously taking notice to my crestfallen aura. "If I was asleep for almost two days, I'm sure I'd see some empty space when I looked back on all of the time I was unconscious…"

Mari, par usual, sat obediently without a word, nodding gently in agreement.

I pulled on a pathetic attempt of bravado, twisting my lips up with enough encouragement to get them to beam back before breaking off into their own chatter.

No - that wasn't the answer. It seemed like there was no solution to this. Or perhaps, if there was, it was just too far out of my species to reach. I would just have to suffer through it alone and it silence.

My mood had carried on past lessons and into the evening. Dinner went by without a word passed my way this time, none of the others wanting to comment on or disrupt my mute behavior. I didn't mind: I could continue brooding without interruption.

As it turned out, I couldn't even bring myself to journey over to the Night Class dorms and greet the nocturnal students. I just didn't feel right about doing it - something was holding me back, telling me to stay away. I had no idea where the notion came from, but I decided to follow my instincts this one time.

However, I quickly grew bored with the endless thinking. Why couldn't I just let the matter drop? What good was this pensive game of mental tennis doing me? There were possibilities as to the cause of my emotional damage, but only a few that kept repeating and revaluating themselves in my mind. Was it only Takuma? Was it simply a side-effect of my sickness? Why had I been sick again, anyway? I had felt fine as far as I could remember, apart from waking up after nearly twenty-four hours of slumber. Why had the Chairman himself excused my absence? Did he know something I didn't? Had my doctor called and said he had found some incurable disease working its way through my blood? Was the Chairman reluctant to tell me of this fatality and letting me live the rest of my life as normal as possible?

…This was getting ridiculous. I needed to take a walk and clear my head.

I completely disregarded the fact that it was nearing eleven o'clock at night. Normally, I was one to follow the rules and stick to regulations but there was no helping it this time. I was a woman on a mission to find (or forget) herself. Fueled with desperation, confusion, and hints of aggravation, there was no way that I could remain cooped up safely in that snug dorm room and wait it out until morning.

Eira breathed deeply enough for me to feel confident that she wouldn't be woken up by my departure. All the same, I tried to keep as quiet as possible while I pulled on my shoes and jacket and snuck out the door. The hall was eerily empty and dark, shadows from the branches basking in moonlight creating monstrous claws on the walls. I scurried through the building as quickly as possible to escape the chilling visions.

The air outside was cold, but warmer than you would usually expect from late winter weather. I was comforted by the nipping breeze, feeling the chills wash down my spine and take most of my worries with it. I took in a large breath and stepped out into the wilderness, jumping blindly into a forest of seclusion.

There was something nostalgic about tip-toeing my way through the trees and brush, testing each patch of land before me for roots or debris. It was almost terrifying, but at the moment I welcomed the thrill of night and its uncertainty. The darkness, rather than symbolizing some kind of hidden secrets or despair, became a blanket; Unlike most literary allegories of repression and evil, the secret of the shadows was something I wanted. It was out of my control - natural. A natural gloom that had begun to make my current troubles seem trifling and insignificant compared to this vast veil surrounding me at all sides.

Eventually my eyes were able to adjust to the absence of light, making out the dim shapes of the foliage around me. I was disappointed for a moment, but at least navigation would be easier this way. Not that it mattered all that much where I had no real destination in sight, but a clearer vision was something I knew should be comforting.

I wandered around aimlessly for what felt like (and what just might have been) hours, not coming across any familiar relicts. It was just tree after tree after tree - and then an occasion bush or two, always followed by another tree. I wondered if this forest could lead me straight out of the Academy's grounds. How far back had I traveled? Could I be in an entirely different country by now? Like the tale of Alice in Wonderland - that would be quite the adventure to stumble into. Fantastic characters and creatures I had only dreamed of. How exciting that would be! A wonderful distraction from my current state of dilemma.

Something was off about the area all of a sudden - there was a space to my left through numerous branches that seemed twice as bright as my current position. A clearing, maybe, that was less hidden from the moonlight. Feeling my stomach leap, I bound off in that direction without a cautious thought. As I got closer, the sound of running water teased my ears with its tinkling. But was it water, really? It could be any liquid in some unknown land. Chocolate perhaps, like you would find in Willy Wonka's factory. Or maybe it really was H2O, but tinted iridescent tones of orange or purple from fairy dust. I couldn't wait to see. Picking up my pace, I burst out from the woods in a run and froze as the open air seemed to hit me like a thousand critical stares.

…Well, this was anti-climatic. I hadn't even left the Kurosu Academy property at all. It was just a fountain - a normal, electricity powered water fountain. There were unnamed buildings of the school plotted down to the left of me, the cascading waterfalls resting between society and the wilderness as a buffer.

I sighed. So this was reality? I wanted to go back to my own illusion of a fool's paradise. At least things there were animated and exhilarating. Here on earth everything was so… dull and quiet.

But I settled with my fate, knowing that this place was the home that I belonged to. I began walking again, my steps now slow and unmotivated. Hopping onto the edge of the fountain, I lifted my arms out to the sides for balance as I tight-roped my way around the perimeter of the basin. There was a perfectly good stone seat right below me, of course, but I didn't want to fully accept that my imagination wasn't real just yet. I would live with this childlike innocence for a little longer.

Finding another student seated on the other side of the geyser, however, ruined the vision. There was no mistaking the white uniform of the blond male I had nearly stepped on.

"Ichijou-sama!"

In my surprise, I had stumbled on my footing. When standing on a ten-centimeter rim, that meant I would either fall onto the cement or into a small pond.

I squealed and anticipated a blow. Of course, it never did come.

Realizing that my descent was taking far to long, I peeled an eye open to see what the hold up was. Apparently I must have still been trapped in my dream world because Ichijou Takuma was standing before me, an arm wrapped around my waist for support. Prince Charming had saved me from 'death'.

Yes, I had to be moonstruck.

"Are you alright?" he questioned purely, lifting my form and placing me safely to the ground out of harms way. I blinked, trying to figure out whether or not I really was hallucinating.

"A-Aa…"

He felt authentic. He looked authentic and smelled authentic… He felt, looked, and smelled wonderful…

"I'm sorry I startled you," Takuma said gently, a demure smile gracing his lips. "I got so caught up with my reading that I didn't even hear you come at all."

His words wormed their way into my mind sluggishly.

"Reading?" I questioned dumbly, as if I had never heard of the activity before. Takuma nodded, suddenly seeing to grow a little shy.

"Hai. I like to read out here to calm down sometimes…"

"Calm down…?"

What was wrong with me? Couldn't I think of any words of my own to say rather than repeating his like a brainless automaton? I sounded like an idiot!

"Yes," Takuma said lightly, tone softening to the pitch of a confession. "Unfortunately I haven't been myself lately. There are a lot of things on my mind that I needed to get away from for a bit."

Seeming to jump thoughts in a slit second, the young man's expression suddenly tightened, eyes turning a shade deeper. "You should be sleeping. Day Class students aren't allowed outside after dark."

On the defense, I unintentionally countered, "You should be in class."

Takuma blinked and I prayed that split second would be all it took for him to miss my flush of horror. Had I really just said that right to his face? How rude!

"Ichijou-sama," I stammered in desperation. "Sumimasen! I didn't mean - "

"It's alright," he cut me off, raising a hand in assurance. "You have a point, after all. I shouldn't have reprimanded you when I'm here as a rebel as well."

Rebel was an adjective I would never consider appropriate for Takuma in a thousand years. I found the entire situation, he calling himself a rebel of all things, so amusing that I couldn't hold back from giggling. Embarrassed, I tried to stifle them behind a hand, but Takuma's own joining chuckles only encouraged the laughter. I was indescribably glad that he was brightening up - there was no longer that haze of gloom surrounding him. Could I take any credit or was it simply the time he spent with himself and a paperback?

"I'm serious, though," he grinned, eyes tender. "Its dangerous for you to be out of your dorm after dark."

Dangerous. The phrase wiped any traces of mirth from my face. Why did that sound so familiar? It was like déjà vu…

I brushed the thought away, smiling innocently. "I think I can handle myself. Besides, you're here to protect me now, ne?"

…Seriously? Another verbal blunder? I had to get a hold of myself, soon; If I wanted Takuma to stay around, he couldn't be thinking of me as a moronic, inarticulate flirt. A flirt: me? I didn't even think I knew how to properly flirt with the opposite sex without just mimicking those vain girls from the movies. I wouldn't be like one of them, like every one of Takuma's other female fans. I liked him for more than that. It wasn't only because he was so handsome. Regroup, Eden! Get your act together!

Takuma paused, clearly trying to figure what to make of this situation. Attempting to redeem myself, I pulled one side of my lip up a little farther, smirking teasingly instead. Yes, that was it: it had only been a joke. Get it, Takuma? I was acting like one of your stalkers for amusement purposes; I wasn't like them.

I could have collapsed to the ground in relief right then and there when he took the bait, his features regaining some of the lost spark.

"Forgive me," the young Ichijou spoke, adopting a more smooth and professionally genial way of speech, "but I don't think we've introduced ourselves: my name is Ichijou Takuma. It's nice to meet you, Miss. May I know your name?"

I stopped breathing for a moment, jaw agape. Of course. He wanted to know my name. He didn't know who I was or that I had ever existed.

But he would after tonight.

The time spent frozen only lasted the length of a hair. I was quick to bounce back, hardly knowing where this sudden boldness was coming from. "I'm Enrai Eden. It's wonderful to formally meet you as well."

Why wasn't I stuttering? I had always fumbled and squeaked when I tried talking with boys I liked. Why was I so unusually calm? Confident? Collected? It didn't make sense. Something was wrong. Things were going too positively.

It had to be him - Takuma. He was just so ace that his presence could rub off on those around him and make even me appear agreeable. He truly was a miracle to the world.

The marvel himself tilted his head cordially. "That's a beautiful name," he complimented, much to my delight. "It's very unique."

I didn't know quiet how to respond to that (should I have thanked him, or would that have sounded too stuck-up?) so I went with a rebound option of biting my lip in an awkward thanks. His eyes shut with a cute smile.

"I would invite you to join me in my reading, since I tend to bring extra manga when I go out for long periods," he explained. I could have sworn I had swallowed a brick: was he asking me to stay with him? Like a date!? "…but I myself was just thinking of heading in, and I really think it would be best if you were to go back to your dorms as well."

The brick lodged in my intestine shattered. Tonight would not be the night that Takuma realized his fondness for me. But all hope wasn't lost - he had said he would have invited me otherwise, right? That meant he was willing to get to know me more and enjoyed my company. Maybe if we met again, at an earlier time, I could have the chance of bonding with him more.

"Of course," I agreed. "I should probably get some sleep anyway. Who knows what time it is…"

Takuma responded without even taking out a watch. "Oh, I'd say about 1:00 AM or so. You need to rest if you don't want to get sick."

I snorted secretly to myself. Yes, I had had enough of being sick. However, I don't think there was anyway I could manage to escape that situation now - I only had five more hours before I would normally wake up. And even with those five hours, I was positive that they would go without slumber, especially after this meeting. Takuma would cloud up so much of my mind that the Sandman himself would become lost and unable to deliver his package.

"Yes, I should go…"

If he was half the gentleman I believed he was, I was sure Takuma would offer to walk me home.

"Please, allow me to accompany you, Miss Eden. You never know what kind of trouble can be hidden in the dark. And you need me there to protect you, ne?"

Floating on thin air, I nodded. "I wouldn't mind that at all! Besides, the nighttime can get a little creepy sometimes; It would be nice to have someone to distract me from it."

"Oh?" Takuma quipped as we began our journey. "If you find the night scary, why would you come out at all, then?"

I didn't need to fabricate some clever answer, simply going with the truth and using his own words. "I just needed to calm down. You know, get my mind off things? I've been feeling a little suffocated lately, so I wanted to get some time to myself when I knew I wouldn't be bothered…"

Takuma chuckled with some kind of dark humor that I didn't understand. "That's understandable. I hope I didn't bother you?"

"No!" I gasped, rounding on the boy with earnest eyes. "Never!"

He blinked, face falling into neutrality. "…I was only kidding, Miss Eden. There's no need to get so worked up."

Squeaking, I face the ground once more, wringing my fingers and flushing mortifyingly. "…Gomen."

He laughed, fingers brushing over my shoulder as a ghost's touch. "There's no need to apologize, either! And while we're at it, you don't have to refer to me as '-sama'. Just call me Ichijou-kun, okay?"

It was more than okay. As thrilled as I was, he might as well have proposed our marriage. "Alright."

I should have told him to call me Enrai-chan, too, but I liked the way he addressed me as Miss Eden so much better.

I wasn't sure if it was good or not, but the rest of the time we spent strolling to my dorms was basked in silence. Maybe he was just so comfortable with me that he didn't feel the need to speak, or maybe the entire five minutes were the most awkward of his life. I didn't know, and I couldn't bring myself to particularly care. I was in heaven.

He departed from me at the dorm's door, bidding me a casual farewell (that didn't include a fairy-tale kiss on the hand, I was slightly upset to say) and went on his own way. I stood there like a statue, watching the woods until his starch white uniform could no longer be seem glowing in darkness. It was only then when I turned and made my way back to my room, walking on autopilot while my mind was busy replaying every detail of the past half hour.

By the time I snapped out of it, I was already laying in bed, atop the covers and fully clothed. Bearing my teeth in elation, I hummed to myself as I prepared for bed and snuggled into the sheets, wanting to be more comfortable as I pondered my future relationship with Takuma.

It was certain, of course, that I was wrong about my assumption. Takuma didn't hate me at all - he just hadn't known me. Because he hadn't known me, he hadn't paid any extra attention. But now we were acquainted with a full twenty minutes or so of association between us. To be honest, I was sure that I was now twenty minutes ahead of ever other girl in the school. I had become a the forerunner in the race for Takuma's love because of a chance meeting in the dead of the night. How romantic!

Quivering with happiness, I spent the last five hours before the next day of reality began picturing my and Takuma's wedding. It would take place at noon in the springtime, where Takuma's head of blond hair would shimmer like a halo in the sunlight, and be full of singing birds, blushing blossoms and the promise for an infinite life of love together.

(A/N) Yeah, so... to be completely honest, I really have no idea what I'm doing with this story :] I have a few scenes planned out, but as for overall plot and comflict... I've pretty much got nothing. But don't worry too much - I'll figure things out, just not as soon as some of you might want me to DX

Am I doing okay with Takuma's character, by the way? I haven't read/watched VK in FOREVER, so as I was rereading this I was thinking things like "Would he say that?" and "Is that situation even possible?"

Please leave some feedback to help the poor, struggling author! Feed the needy!