Disclaimer: Do not own HO. Unbeta'd. Warning: Some rough sex and people being horrible to each other. Thank you all for reading, following and reviewing.

"Da? Did you just get up?" Declan asked throwing his bag onto the couch. Paddy following his cue and with a small roar, also threw his backpack, and then let out a victory laugh. Brendan wrapped his robe around him tightly as the shortly opened door sent a shiver through him.

"Yeah. So?" Declan shook his head. "I'm an adult, Deccy. And I own a club. Obviously sometimes my sleeping schedule will be odd."

"Yeah but it's nearly five." The teen said judgement in his voice. "Whatever. Did anything come for me?"

"Your dignity." Brendan retorted and put the kettle on. "How should I know, kid? I just woke up." Declan rolled his eyes at his father and went to his room leaving his bag on the couch. Paddy sat at the counter and stared at Brendan with big eyes. The older man ignored him to pour the hot water into his cup. He never functioned well without tea. But there was no milk in the fridge. Brendan groaned and ran his hand over his face. Of course no one did the shopping. Cheryl barely left her room in her grief, Eileen wasn't his wife anymore, the boys were too young to do big shopping so it was up to Brendan. He glanced at his tea and then remembered his youngest was sitting patiently. His hands folded on the counter and his expression patient. "What is it?" Brendan asked trying not to sound like someone who was growling. His voice had a habit of being especially gravely in the morning. Paddy didn't speak straight away, listening to the sound of the washing machine and Declan's shows upstairs.

"Da. I would like to propose something. A proposition." The young boy said confidently. Brendan could feel his cheek twitch on amusement but tried to remain neutral. "There is a party at Ahmed's house and it is on Saturday and it starts at five and his mum is away so his dad is letting him have people stay over and I would really, really, really, really, really like to go." Brendan didn't say anything and Paddy slammed his hands on the counter sliding them around, his face pleading. "This is a once in a lifetime chance! Pleeeeease let me go! Pleeeeease." He clasped his hands together in a pleading manner.

"You want to go a sleepover on Saturday at Ahmed's house. Right?" Brendan clarified, his son nodding in response. "Okay. You can go." Paddy's face slowly turned into a wide grin as the news settled over him. He jumped off his seat and ran to hug his father tightly.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!" He shouted making Brendan chuckle and pat his head awkwardly because he wasn't sure how to react. Paddy saved him however by letting him go and running upstairs. Brendan could hear him knock on Cheryl's door and his excited little voice when she opened the door.

He looked at the fridge and made a mental list of what he'd need to get. Milk was number one priority. They could use some meat. Paddy liked salami and Declan went crazy over those pepperami sticks. Cheryl liked sweet things so he'd need ice cream. Tea was running low. Biscuits.

He scratched his face blankly for a moment.

He should probably make an actual list and ask everyone in the household what they wanted.

Brendan looked around for some paper but of course, there was nothing near by. He grumbled under his breath about dumb notepads having invisible powers as he grabbed Declan's bag to look through it for some paper but he just had textbooks and USBs. Education was a lot different these days. He looked through Paddy's bag but he found something in the little boy's belongings. Something that sent off a panic in his stomach. He grabbed the object and stormed upstairs into Cheryl's open room where Paddy was sitting on the bed telling her happily about all the things he'd do at the sleepover whilst she was standing by the open window..

"Padraig!" He shouted startling the right year old and his own sister. Paddy looked up at him with big eyes and his bottom lip quivered lightly as his little hands drew up into small fists. Brendan crouch in front of the bed and showed him the object, Cheryl gasping quietly. "Where. The fuck. Did you get this?" He growled at him. Paddy looked scared at the object and drew his knee up to his chest.

"I..." The eight year old boy swallowed hard. "Freddy gave it to me. He said it was-was a balloon." Paddy's eyes were watering and Brendan dropped his head.

"For fuck's sake, Paddy." He murmured.

"Why is da freaking out about a condom?" His teenage son showed up at the door and made a remark.

"'Cause I found it in yer brother's bag." Brendan growled at him and turned back to Paddy who was clutching onto his knees tightly and on the verge of crying. "Paddy, this..." He shook the condom in his hand. "...is not a balloon. This is something only adults should use. It's a condom."

"What's a condom?" Paddy asked in a small voice.

"Jesus." Brendan sighed trying to figure out how to explain protection against STDs and STIs to his eight year old son. Luckily Declan dropped himself next to his little brother and put his arm around him.

"You know how I told ya about where babies come from?" Paddy nodded, staring at his big brother. Declan wiped the tears off his face. "Well, condoms are used for that to protect against diseases and not making babies. Simple. Educate your friends."

"And why did da get so mad?" The little boy asked in a tiny voice.

"'Cause da don't want ya to know about any of this yet." Declan explained. "I remember he nearly had a heart attack when he walked in on me and Laura back in Ireland." The teenager looked off into the distance nostalgically and Brendan stood up.

"You were thirteen, Declan!" He roared making Paddy jump but Declan didn't even react. "And you already told Padraig about things?"

"You weren't going to." Declan replied easily. "Hey, are you gonna go shopping? 'Cause we've got no food. D'you need me to make ya a list? Come on, Paddy. Let's write a list for da." The small bog followed his big brother avoiding Brendan as much as possible. The Irishman looked at his sister who was smiling sadly. His mood changed quickly as he realised what she was sad about.

"It's good they're boys, really. Easier." He told her.

"No. S'not that, Bren." She shook her head and closed the window. "I just got understand, I'm not going to get that." She straightened out her duvet. "Parenting. Having me own kids. With him, I actually considered..." She trailed off, her eyes on the wall. "I know I wouldn't be a good mother. So I didn't ever...But I wonder sometimes." Brendan put his hand on her shoulder.

"I really want to make you feel better, Chez. But I don't what will do it." She blinked at the wall.

"Bring Nate back. Give me a purpose again." She whispered. "Can you leave now please?" Her whispers croaky. Brendan kissed her cheek and walked out, closing the door behind him.

\\/\\/

"Can I get these?" Paddy pointed to some pink toy thing. "It's so much fun. All the girls at school have them and they play with them all the time." Declan looked around.

"Don't you want something more boy like?" The teen asked, uncomfortable in this part of the shop. The two kids tagged along for shopping and Brendan's guilt led them to the toy store afterwards. Declan got some water gun which of course he promised to wake Brendan up with or use against Eileen.

"Oi." Brendan cuffed the back of Declan's head. "If Paddy wants a girl toy, he can get a girl toy." Paddy beamed at his father and moved to the next aisle. Declan and Brendan following begrudgingly. "And if he gets bullied for it, that's where you come on and beat them up."

"Ma would have a heart attack hearing that."

"Ma ain't here, Deccy." Brendan looked around the shop and spotted Ste with a small blonde from the Caff and two small children walking in. He watched as Ste stared at the toys with an indecisive facial expression. The blonde next to him was saying something in his ear. They didn't even notice the kids ran off into the shop. Paddy was sitting on the ground staring at a dollhouse when one of those kids came to look at the dollhouse. Brendan fel something tug at his insides as he realised it was a little girl.

"Are you getting that?" She asked Paddy. Brendan couldn't get over how little she was. He didn't remember any of his kids being that little. "It's the best house ever." Paddy looked curiously over at her.

"Why?"

"Because it has so many secret rooms." She whispered conspiratorial like and sat down next to the eight year old. "You can hide anything you want and no one will know."

"Wow. Do you have one?" The small girl shook her head.

"My daddy made me one though. It's really pretty and big but it doesn't have any secret rooms." She said sadly staring at the dollhouse. Brendan had to move away because he was staring to forget how to breath. His feet moved quickly somewhere else, ignoring Declan's questioning looks. He found himself in front of a fireworks display. He wanted to buy all of them and blow them all up at once because that would be awesome. But Declan called him back over.

"What?" He grumbled at him. Ste was standing by the little girl trying to pick her up. He stood up straight when he saw Brendan, his face freezing in fear. "Hello, Steven." Brendan said nonchalantly trying to not show any emotions. "What d'you want, Dec?"

"Can I get this?" The teenager picked up a make up kit. "I wanna see if rouge is my colour." Brendan stared at his son for a beat waiting for the teenager to break into laughter but when he didn't, it dawned on the Irishman that Declan was serious.

"You're serious." He told him. Declan nodded. "Fine. Paddy, you got something? The ice cream is melting in the boot." The eight year old hummed, glanced at the little girl who was waiting in anticipation and stood up.

"Father. I choose the secret room dollhouse." He said confidently.

"Great." Brendan grabbed one of the boxes behind the display. "Let's go. Steven, see you on Monday." The younger man held on tightly to the little girl, as if scared that Brendan would attack her. He heard Declan and Paddy say goodbye to them as well but he walked fast to the checkout, wanting to get out of there. The small blonde Ste was with was standing in front of him in the small queue, holding a small boy's hand in hers and rummaging through her purse.

"I'm sorry, Lucas." She finally stopped and crouched in front of him. "Mummy forgot her purse. We'll have to come back and get the teddy some other time." The little boy's bottom lip pouted out and shook. He looked exactly like Ste in that moment. His eyes big as he stared at his mother.

"But you pwomised." He mumbled in a tiny voice.

"I know. I'm so sorry." She sounded really apologetic. "Mummy and daddy will get it for you, soon." The little boy looked down at his hands.

"How much is it?" Brendan found himself asking. The two blonde heads looked up at him surprised. "What, 20 quid?" He took the bear where it was on the floor next to the little boy. "Yeah, no problem. Steven can pay me back." He said going to the cashier. "Separate bag for the bear." He grumbled as the guy started scanning things. Once he paid, he turned around and gave the bag to the little boy. "'Ere." Lucas took the bag with big eyes and hugged it tightly to his chest. "Don't give your ma grief." The little boy grinned at him, revealing a toothy grin where some were missing and others were too big.

"Thank you, mishter." The little boy smiled and hugged the bear in the plastic bag tightly. The blonde woman was staring at him wearily.

"You didn't have to do that." She said cooly and crossed her arms. "We would've just come back some other time. We don't need your pity, Brady." Brendan raised his eyebrows.

"S'not pity, lassie." He told her. "Crying kids are the worst and most annoying thing. Your boy will pay me back and we're even. Get off your high horse." He looked for his sons who were still talking to Ste and called out to them. "Move it!" He shouted and walked out of the shop towards the parking lot. They looked like a happy little family.

A perfect little family that had everything and loved their kids no matter what. Tried to protect them from everything and everything.

It was disgusting. Made something turn in Brendan's stomach. He shoved the toys in the back seat and got behind the wheel, tapping it restlessly, waiting for his children to get in.

\\/\\/

Walker was circling him like a dog. Kevin, Doug and Rhys were on tonight. Kevin doing better and not fucking up for once.

"The fuck you want?" Brendan growled with the corner of his mouth as Walker was in and out of the office again. They finally managed to resolve the issue with the council, comping to a compromise of a 2% increase. Which Brendan could afford easily.

"You know what, Brady." Walker said in a smooth voice and Brendan looked at him from over his glasses. He didn't like wearing them but his headache came back the moment he dropped his children off at home.

"Not now, Walker." He said simply. Usually that sent the other man running but this time, he closed the door instead. Locking it up. "Piss off before you regret something."

"I want to get laid, Brendan." Walker forced. "You've been dodging me for a while now and I wouldn't care but this whole thing you're doing, is inconveniencing me. Now." He threw a condom onto the table. "Be a big boy, unzip your pants and get your cock out." Brendan looked at the condom and tapped his pen against the desk. He wasn't interested in fucking Walker. He wasn't interested in doing anything with Walker anymore. He'd fire the bastard if he didn't make the club run smoothly. He also owed him.

Brendan sold Walker's brother drugs that landed the boy in the hospital. Luckily he survived but the only reason why Walker didn't kill him or rat him out to the police was because Brendan offered him a job.

It wasn't a great deal. But Walker knew he owned Brendan because of that.

He grabbed the condom and stood up, coming around to stand in front of Walker.

"Hands on the desk." He commanded in a bored voice. Walker smirked a little and followed the order, but not without taking off his belt first. "Lube?" Brendan asked but he knew the answer to that already. Walker snorted as the Irishman stood behind him. Walker undid his pants and let them slide off, he wasn't wearing underwear. He never was when he wanted sex.

"So tender. Didn't know you cared, Brady." Brendan rolled his eyes and got his dick out. It wasn't even half aroused as usually but he put the condom on, tugged a few times, imagining slick fingers around his length before a pink plush mouth and he was ready to go. It helped that he hadn't had any in over two weeks. This would be a perfect opportunity to make up for it.

Walker was dry and tight so he spat on his palm and ran it over himself before pushing in. They didn't do things like prep. They liked it when it hurt, when they could destroy each other. Brendan aligned himself against his opening and pushed in slowly feeling a small satisfaction at the hiss from Walker's mouth. It felt good to be inside someone. And he hated it. He hated it so much. He started his thrust quickly, pushing Walker's head down and grabbing onto his hips. It felt good but not right. The body was not the one he wanted to be moving inside of. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine. Imagine he was with the body he wanted. He tried to imagine a golden skinned body that made incredible noises but the reality stuck inside as Walker's noises were obscenely loud. Louder than usual, like he wanted someone to hear them. The music muffled them outside but Brendan found it annoying that he could still hear the other man.

He'd put a gag in Walker's mouth to shut him up but the man would just enjoy it. His thrusts became more erratic as he felt an orgasm building up. It wasn't emotional. His body was just responding on its' own. The orgasms weren't even that spectacular. He's had better ones with Eileen but he wouldn't go there.

Walker spilled out on the desk right before Brendan made a grunt and felt his body relax slightly. He pulled out of the other man, throwing the condom in the small bin and grabbing tissues from a drawer. He took a couple before throwing them at Walker who was breathing heavily with a blissed out expression on his face, his eyes closed till the tissues hit his chest.

"Clean that up." Brendan pointed to the cum on the desk. It didn't hit any papers thankfully. Just the wood. Brendan cleaned his own dick, threw the tissue out, put himself back in order and sat back in his chair. Walker sighed pleased and wiped the desk, he took his time dressing himself up again. He was under the impression that Brendan liked seeing him naked. To be fair, the Irishman never did anything to change that opinion. "Get out." He murmured. Walker grinned, putting his pants and belt back on.

"Next time, I want to suck you off whilst you're wearing those glasses." He said. "I do hope Kevin boy heard that. One of our best fuck's yet."

"Wait." Brendan stopped him as he unlocked the door. "You wanted me to fuck you to warn off Kevin? You're jealous of the lad?" When Walker didn't respond, Brendan let out a loud laugh, finding it hilarious that someone thought Kevin was his fantasy fuck. "I don't want to fuck Kevin, Walker. In fact, I don't want to fuck you anymore. Suck him off 'cause my dick is staying in my pants from now on."

"You always say that." Walker mused.

"I'm serious. You come at me again, you'll be sorry. You tell anyone, you'll be sorry." Brendan told him but the Englishman just grinned wider.

"I like it when you're bossy." He whispered. "Makes me feel like a virgin." He threw Brendan's way and quickly left the office missing the mug the Irishman threw at the door in anger.