The realization that somewhere, a train was awaiting him to board did not quite hit Severus until he finally dressed himself and waited quietly by the door with his trunk. Tobias seemed mostly sober as he looked up and down at his son with distaste. For a moment, Severus wondered if he was about to hit him.

"Bye dad," he said quietly.

The man gave a grunt of acknowledgment and stomped away. The crippling disappointment hit and he was disgusted at himself for expecting any more. Eileen appeared on the stairs, looking unsteady on her feet. She cleared her throat, her bony fingers closing the clasp of the cloak on her neck. "Shall we get going then?" She rasped. Severus reached out for her cold hand and gripped it firmly.

Then they were twisting through fabrics of space and Severus felt the ground beneath his feet change into cool cement. They were standing in King's Cross station, disguised behind an awaiting train at platform 9. Retrieving a free luggage trolley, they wove their way quickly around the train and between the rush of tourists and workers.

Severus did not know if they were spotted by any curious muggles in keeping up with his mother's large strides. She disappeared through the barrier between platforms 9 and 10 and he followed suit, arriving at a far more boisterous scene than the one he'd left.

Two boys were chasing each other up and down the length of the great red steam engine, their mother running after them and shrieking warnings. Many tear filled goodbyes were taking place all around them and waving of hands. Eileen stood quite unmoved beside Severus, quietly taking in her surroundings. Many who did not know her would have thought her distant, or even displeased, but Severus had long since learned to read his mother's nuances. He saw how warmness crept into her dark eyes and glowed there pleasantly in the lasting nostalgia, it was how she smiled.

Leaving her in her moment, he glanced about once more for the familiar glint of red hair. He found her immediately, talking to her family a few meters away from where he stood. Mr. Evans was instantly recognizable. He was looking around wildly, still wearing that disbelieving expression he'd worn in Diagon Alley. Petunia looked as sour as ever. She was arguing with Lily, her shrill voice carrying down to his ears. Half-listening, he noticed Mrs. Evans standing with her hands still clutched tightly about the trolley bar. She had dark red hair, many shades darker than Lily's and sharp green eyes with an off-putting quality. Severus saw her frown when she spotted him staring at her and she leaned in to whisper something to her husband.

Lily's argument with her sister had ended and she was now extricating the trolley from her mother's fingers, simultaneously wiping at her eyes. Moments later, she disappeared into the train.

"I'll be going then," Severus finally turned to look at Eileen who gave a barely noticeable nod. Halfway to the entrance, he was intercepted by Mr. Evans. "Ah, good to see you, son," he found himself having his hand shaken. "Excited about going to school?" The man looked as if he were the one boarding the train instead of his daughter, he was practically skipping.

"Yes sir," Severus answered politely, pushing away the involuntary jealousy which peeked from some subconscious deep within him.

"That's good." The man smiled encouragingly. "Lily tells me you two are good friends. Now you take good care of my darling, you hear? If anything happens to her, I'll have your head for it," he wagged a warning finger jokingly.

"I will," he couldn't hide his smile. "Thanks for everything, Mr. Evans."

Something flitted across the man's face, a mixture of sympathy and caring. "And you take good care of yourself too," he said seriously. Severus blushed. He could feel his drab attire being scrutinized again.

"You too. Have a good year, sir." They shook hands again and Severus watched as he made his way back to his wife who stood with her arms crossed in the way which reminded him so much of Lily. She was muttering anxiously to her husband, stealing furtive glances at him, and he took it as his cue to leave.

The train gave three sharp whistles as Severus hurried on board. He was torn between going to Lily as soon as possible and the allure of fresh robes in his trunk. Deciding a few minutes wouldn't hurt; he stumbled into the nearest bathroom and hastily pulled his shirt over his head. He slipped into the comfortable black fabric. It welcomed him in a way that felt like he'd always belonged in it. Brushing some hair from his face, he lugged his trunk down the corridor, looking into each compartment briefly for a flash of red. The train had already begun moving, the wheels rumbling beneath his feet.

At last he spotted her, sitting hunched within herself in the corner of Compartment T. Three other boys were talking loudly in the small space, clambering over each other and brandishing their wands in excitement. Severus drew a deep breath, slightly repelled by the noise, and slid the door open. One of the boys glanced at him briefly.

"Excuse me," he muttered, pushing his way by a jumble of feet and dragging his trunk in behind him. Stowing the heavy box safely in the overhead shelf, Severus quietly slipped into the empty seat across from Lily. She had not greeted him yet in her usual manner, her head was turned away, green eyes watching the countryside mutely. They betrayed nothing.

Severus sat there awhile, his hands clasped in his lap, wondering if he'd done something wrong. She didn't turn to look at him. He struggled to keep the impatience out of his breathing and fidgeting. Lily was making him nervous. He recounted the events of yesterday in his mind quickly.

"I don't want to talk to you," Lily finally said, her voice low but cracking. She shifted a little closer to the window, as if to emphasize her point.

Severus felt as if he were about to burst with anxiety. "Why not?"

"Tuney h-hates me. Because we saw that letter from Dumbledore," she reached up again to wipe away new-formed tears.

Was that it? He almost laughed with relief, but caught himself short. "So what?"

Lily turned to look at him now, her face livid. "So she's my sister!" All of the boys in their compartment stopped talking for a few seconds to stare at them. Severus glared at them until they returned to talking about quidditch.

"She's only a -" the word 'muggle' died on his tongue. He was doing nothing to comfort her, he realized. Tears were flowing relentlessly down her cheeks now. She gasped short shuddering breaths as she wiped at them frantically.

He cast about for some other way to stem the crying. The Hogwarts train. "But we're going!" he cried, "This is it! We're off to Hogwarts." At her reluctant smile, he congratulated himself and grinned back at her.

"You'd better be in Slytherin," he added. On the few occasions he'd met his mother's relatives, they'd always say the best witches and wizards came from Slytherin. "Why look at Eileen," one of them had whispered to the others, "Getting in Slytherin was the only thing in her life she'd ever done right. Then she goes and marries a filthy muggle. What a shame. She had potential." The others had voiced their agreement while little Severus stood nearby, listening in. "You, boy. Fetch me more tea."

He was shaken from his reverie by a loud comment made from the boy sitting a little apart from him. Severus hadn't heard what he said, but Lily was looking at him too, looking offed by his tone of voice.

The boy was smirking as he looked at Severus. He found himself tucking his hair behind his ears again self-consciously. "Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?" His retort was directed towards the boy opposite him, the one who'd been testifying about the features of the new Comet 180 just moments earlier.

"My whole family have been in Slytherin," the boy who was spoken to did not smile. In fact, in contrast to his grinning self during the broomstick discussion, he now looked quite miserable.

"Blimey, and I thought you seemed all right!" The loud boy exclaimed incredulously, as if the thought of anyone decent from Slytherin should be so surprising. Severus looked at Lily again, wanting to open his mouth and interject. She was watching the boy with such a disgusted manner that Severus smiled in gratefulness.

"Maybe I'll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you've got the choice?"

The boy leaped onto the seat, and raised his hand around a mock sword handle. "Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!" He announced to the entire compartment. "Like my dad," he added almost smugly.

Severus scoffed at the overbearing display. It wasn't as if Gryffindor was the only decent house at Hogwarts, he retorted in his head, but stopped himself from making the comment. He had long learned that fighting back puts himself in a vulnerable position.

The boy had turned to him sharply. The patronizing look was back in his hazel eyes. "Got a problem with that?" Severus noted how his fingers twitched toward the wand sticking out from his pocket.

"No, if you'd rather be brawny than brainy…" He let his annoyance get the better of him. Severus just wished they'd leave him alone to discuss things quietly with Lily, the way they could have done if they were back safely under the shelter of their tree. He thought of the park longingly.

"Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?" The long haired boy whose family had been in Slytherin piped up. Severus, disconcerted, looked at him instead, the little empathy he held for his earlier comment quite dissipating. He opened his mouth to defend himself when Lily, who'd been sitting wordlessly the entire time, stood up angrily, her hand reaching over to grab his. "Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment."

She was reaching over to grab her luggage with the other hand, practically stepping on the boys' feet as she stamped furiously towards the door. Severus, taken aback, barely managed to grab the handle on his trunk as he let himself be dragged away.

The boys chorused her voice mockingly, breaking into roars of laughter. "See ya, Snivellus!" Severus heard distinctly as Lily slammed the door shut behind her.

Lily wrenched open the door to an open compartment and practically threw her trunk at the floor. "They make me so mad!" She growled into the air, hands shoving down on either side of her on the down filled seat.

"I'll get them back," Severus promised her, thinking back to the boy's face with great dislike. There was something in the boy's expression that reminded him of his father. The memory twisted his face into a scowl.

Lily was still holding on to his hand. "Promise me you won't stoop to their level, Sev. They're just being immature."

"I -" his voice faltered.

She looked quickly up at him as he looked around nervously. He could tell she noticed he didn't reassure her the way he usually did. "Just trust me, okay?" He said in place of his promise.

Lily leaned back into her seat. "I just don't want to see you get hurt. Not while we're here at Hogwarts." Severus smiled sadly at her. He could tell she was thinking about his father again.

"Anyway, tell me about the houses," Lily said quickly, her voice falsely cheery. "So you said I should be in Slytherin? How many are there? What are they there for?"

Severus was glad for the change of topic. He answered gladly. "There are four houses. You get sorted into one by the sorting hat, and you basically eat and sleep and participate in the house cup based on whichever house you're in. The house cup is a prize given to the house with the most points by the end of the school year. You earn points for your house by doing well in class and things like that."

"What if I don't do well in the classes?" Lily said, her voice suddenly small. "Because I'm muggle-born?"

Severus reached over to cover her hand with his. "I've told you countless times, Lily. It doesn't matter. You'll be an excellent witch. I just know it. Trust me," he smiled.

The train rumbled on ahead while they both sat back to relax. Lily soon fell asleep, curled up on the seat like a cat. Severus watched her contently for a few minutes, then reached into his trunk to take out his battered Advanced Potions book.

He was lost in the theory of transfiguration potions when he felt eyes on him, and Severus looked up to see Lily staring at him, reclining against the side wall. "No, go on," she quickly said, noticing that she'd interrupted his studying, "you look serene when you read."

"I can't read with you gawking at me," Severus sighed, reaching over to put his book away. Lily leaned forward to snatch it from his hands.

"Fine, then I'll read with you," she compromised.

"You won't find it interesting."

Lily placed the book open on its spine on her trunk, which she stacked above Severus's to form a makeshift table. "There, let's see…Elixir of Euphoria."

"I read fast," Severus warned.

"I read faster," Lily countered. And sure enough, after he had reached the last sentence, she was already looking at him smugly, having finished a few seconds prior.

"Not bad," Severus laughed. He noted how much he really laughed lately, that it was really hard not to grin just seeing the red-haired girl.

Lily continued, brushing her hair back with a professional expression. "But it says here that side effects may contain excessive singing and…" she peered at the page, "nose-tweaking. Huh. If what I've read in my current book about the properties of hybrid mints is true, then couldn't you just add some peppermint to prevent that from happening?"

Severus stared at her, wide-eyed. She looked back innocently. "If you only understood how brilliant you are!" He nearly jumped to rummage in his bag for a quill. "Yes, peppermint…why didn't I think of that?"

"Because I'm smarter than you," Lily joked. "May I do the honours?" She held out her hand for the quill. Severus gave her the utensil, bewildered, as she scrawled in "add a sprig of peppermint" beside the list of ingredients in the margin.

"How did you know?"

Lily pointed to some markings he'd already made along the page. "Well, it's obvious isn't it? That was fun. Let's find another one."

Soon, they were poring over Exploding Fluids, antidotes, and Severus even dared to begin to construct the ingredients needed for veritaserum based on the theory given while Lily dissected the method through the ingredient he came up with.

The sky was darkening outside. Footsteps were now thundering up and down the corridors and conversations floated in through the door from students hanging about. "You should change into your robes," Severus told Lily, closing the book at last and feeling satisfied.

She left somewhat reluctantly. He smiled to himself as he listened to her footsteps run and push past other people in her hurry. Severus hummed a song to himself as he tidied up their workspace, putting away quills and ink bottles. He wasn't sure where he'd heard the song before, but its light tune lead him along a familiar chorus.

He sank back down into the seat, tapping his long fingers absent-mindedly on his knee. There came a sharp rap on the glass, two dark-haired boys were peering at him, and he instantly recognized them from the ones who had occupied Compartment T before.

"Where's your little girlfriend, Snivellus?" One of them called through the glass, and they both laughed raucously as they walked away.

Anger tore its way through Severus. These boys weren't his father, he realized. He had nothing to lose by fighting back. They wouldn't hurt his mother if he didn't offer himself up as a punching bag. He flung the door open and sent a trip jinx after the two retreating figures. It gave him great satisfaction to see them crash stumbling onto the ground in a heap, looking absolutely bemused.

"What are you doing?" Lily appeared, her hair redder than ever in contrast with her black robes. She gaped at the boys down the corridor, then hastily pushed Severus into the compartment. Shutting the door behind them, she whispered urgently, "did you do that?"

"They asked for it," Severus snapped, and regretted it almost instantly when Lily flinched. He was still riding on the high of being able to use his magic against his offenders, all the anger bottled within him for eleven years finally being released. It was like taking a new breath. His eyes were darker than ever, the cold smile still lingering on his lips. He scolded himself for letting someone like that get the better of the laughing person he was when he was with Lily.

"I thought you said I should trust you?" Lily sat down and rubbed her brow wearily.

"I know, I'm sorry," Severus said earnestly. "I just lost my head for a second. Really, I wasn't lying. You should trust me. Lily, we are friends, right?" He added the last question tentatively.

"I know they make you mad, they make me mad too," Lily threw a look at the hallway outside. "And are you crazy? The best," she smiled. "Hey, look at me," she said seriously because Severus was looking out the window miserably, "no matter what happens, we're still going to be together, alright? Remember what I told you a few days ago, under our tree? I wasn't lying either."

"Right," Severus nodded, though still feeling the harsh aftermath of the cold joy he'd felt when the jinx hit. He should be feeling guilty, he realized, and he did, not for his actions but for enjoying it.

The train was screeching to a halt. They waited patiently in their compartment to avoid the onrush of students stampeding off the train, and left among the last stragglers. Upon coming out on the platform, they found themselves being ushered into a group of other anxious looking first-years. A tall man with a short brown beard was waving at them. "Firs' years-over 'ere! Hurry up, firs' years!"

Groupings of row boats were bobbing side to side in the dark water. They were quickly separated into boats. Severus found himself in the same boat as Lily and another boy who promptly ignored them.

"Propelling charm," Severus said to Lily who was examining the self moving boat interestedly. Moments later, her focus had shifted from the wooden contraption to the looming castle before them. From far away, it had not seemed so large, but as they neared the building, they were swallowed in the unseen shadows it cast.

The man, Hagrid, he called himself, pushed open the large oak doors once they'd docked. The warmth and light flooding the shivering first years was incredible. Four tables were filled with empty plates, goblets, and students already seated and watching the newcomers curiously. Albus Dumbledore beamed at them from where he stood in welcome in the middle of the professors' table. Beside him, a large bellied man with an almost silver mustache was talking to the stern-faced witch who looked slightly irritated. She got up moments later, and returned briskly with a three-legged stool, upon which stood a battered hat.

"I will not withhold you any longer. Without further ado," Dumbledore announced to the Great Hall, "Let the sorting begin!" There was general applause all around as the witch marched forward, unfurling a large scroll. "When I call your name," she directed toward the first-years, "you will come sit on the stool and put on the hat. Please sit at the appropriate table according to the house that the hat calls out." She then pointed to each table and named each respectfully.

"Airhart, Lauren." Lauren Airhart walked up to the stool slowly, trembling. Severus turned to look at Lily instead. He found her already looking at him, looking scared and seeking reassurance. Let her be in Slytherin, please, Severus found himself praying, his fingers tightly crossed in his pocket.

A Roger Dale was soon sorted into Hufflepuff. The witch peered at the parchment through her spectacles and called, "Evans, Lily!" Severus felt her hand squeeze his and then she was walking up to the stool with feigned bravado. She seated on the stool properly and slowly lifted the sorting hat above her head. Lily looked right at him while she let the hat drop.

There was barely a second's pause. "Gryffindor!" The hat shouted. The red and gold table burst into applause. Lily hopped off the stool, looking disoriented. Her bright green eyes found Severus's and she smiled sadly at him as she slowly walked to the table. Quite sourly, he noticed the boy's friend from the train making room for her at the Gryffindor table.

"Get into Gryffindor," he saw Lily mouth at him, pointing to an empty seat beside her. Severus looked back at the sorting hat. He doubted it would let him choose which house he wanted to be in. Just then, shortly following a Peter Pettigrew, the dark haired boy with the glasses was cantering towards the hat, wearing that same confident look which set him apart from the quivering first-years. He'd answered to the call, "Potter, James." So that was his name, Severus thought with a twinge of hatred.

"Gryffindor!" The hat called, and Potter was running to the table, pushing Lily into the seat she'd meant to save for Severus and congratulating his friend, Sirius Black loudly. Severus started at the careless way he'd pushed Lily aside but she did not appear to be injured, in fact, she looked quite offended. Smiling, Severus turned his attention back to the hat.

"Snape, Severus," the witch called. Severus felt eyes watching him uncomfortably as he walked. He looked at Lily like she'd done for him once seated. Here goes nothing.

The hat fell over his eyes and immediately, its cool voice was analyzing his thoughts, probing into every memory and reaction. "There's knowledge within you, and a thirst to learn. You would do well in Ravenclaw. But I also see ambition, yes, very prominent indeed," the hat contemplated, "cunningness, and a desire to prove yourself; all the makings of a successful Slytherin. In fact…" There was a pause and Severus knew it was one or the other. Either way, his seat beside Lily had vanished.

"Slytherin!"

Bright spots had appeared before his eyes from the sudden light. Through his vision impairment, he saw Potter and Black booing him loudly, smirking. Lily had slumped onto the table, her head on her arms. He turned to the Slytherin table where its occupants were clapping. A pale, blond haired boy was waving at him to sit beside him, and he managed to find his legs and move toward him.

"Good going," the boy patted him on the back as Severus slid into a seat. "My name's Lucius Malfoy. Prefect," he added proudly, pointing to the badge glinting on his robes. "Been in Hogwarts for five years. You really can't go wrong with Slytherin, in fact. Our quidditch team has won three years in a row, and we've never lost the house cup so far as I recall."

Severus let him talk for a while, looking over at the Gryffindor table with an urge to run over there and sit next to the girl who now looked quite alone, squeezed in between the two laughing boys who ignored her and a group of rowdy sixth-years.

"This here is Avery," Lucius pointed out a thin boy who looked murderously at Severus, obviously noticing his preoccupation with the Gryffindor table. Lucius remained oblivious to this exchange, "and Mulciber." An especially large boy was brooding beside Avery, and he grunted in response.

Dumbledore had stood up again. The sorting was apparently over. After a short speech, the plates loaded themselves with food. Mulciber immediately dug in, not talking to anyone as he shoveled food into his mouth. Avery didn't touch his cutlery, but instead glared at everyone around him.

Severus did not manage to eat much at the feast, his mind elsewhere. He responded politely to Lucius's attempts at small talk and finally, they were lead down to the common room and shown their dormitories.

"Well, good night then," Lucius finally said at the door of the first-year boys' dormitory. He pulled in Severus for a whisper. "If you need anything, anything at all, you can talk to me or the other prefect, Narcissa, okay?"

Severus looked at the older boy in confusion. He apparently thought him the type to be bullied around often, and Severus must agree that his appearance did give off that kind of vibe to others. It's all about survival, he thought, feeling his face grow emotionless the way it always did around his father. Closing himself off seemed the easiest way to make it through what is turning out to be seven lousy years. "I won't be needing your help in the future, thanks," he said coldly, turning to close the door in Lucius Malfoy's surprised face.

Severus found his bed quickly and crawled in, ignoring Avery who was now boasting about his family. He tried to block out the boy's drawling voice whose every word seemed to taunt his own heritage. At last, after several unsuccessful attempts at sleep, he sat up and turned to Avery, eyes dangerously black. "Shut your mouth or I'll jinx you," he said quietly, menacingly.

Avery must have been in shock, for he didn't respond, but merely sneered and sank into his own bed.

Severus watched him with eyes narrowed for a while, in case he decided to return the threat with an actual hex, then slowly lowered his head to his pillow, the sound of his pumping blood crashing about him. Like on the train, the feeling of others faltering beneath him filled Severus with an eerie excitement he could not explain. In that moment, he would have gladly killed Avery without remorse. He ground his teeth in frustration and pummeled his pillow. His dreams that night were filled with the distorted voice of his mother saying, "Life is just a survival game. Nothing more."