Chapter Four: Glitches
System rebooting…
Commencing full system check… 10... 25... 42... 68... 81... 99... ERROR! ERROR! ERROR!
Shutdown imminent…
With a soft whir, Cameron's mind became blank as her chip entered sleep mode. A few seconds later, her mind rebooted again, with more success this time.
System rebooting…
Commencing full system check… 10... 25... 42... 68... 81... 99... Check complete…
Restarting… Current time: 6.34pm…
Cameron's vision returned as power was restored to her central processor, painting her a picture of the dull coloured ceiling of the Connor household. Sensory data from her hands told her she was touching the hardwood floor of her bedroom, and judging by the fact her head was slightly embedded in the planks, Cameron realised she must've fallen backwards.
She accessed her visual records and replayed the last memory prior to her collapse. Cameron had entered her room to comb her tangled hair when she heard a loud thud behind her. She spun around to see its origin, only for her to suffer an unexpected glitch, rendering her offline. Obviously her fall was due to a lack of balance at the time of anomaly.
A head, a human head, belonging to an eight year-old boy popped into her view upside down. The Kid bore a silly grin and was flipping a football in his hands as he stared down at her inert form.
"You've gone woolly again, haven't you?"
"So it appears."
Cameron sat up and looked around the room, finding nothing out of the ordinary. The Kid knelt down beside her, using his football as a precarious stool. He regarded Cameron closely whilst rocking back and forth, earning a blank stare as each watched the other for several long moments. Finally, Cameron felt the need to act upon her current situation and got to her feet, accidently knocking the Kid off his ball and sending him tumbling across the floor.
"Hey! What was that for?"
She offered him her hand and lifted the boy clean off his feet before planting him back on terra-firma. The Kid brushed his t-shirt and picked up the ball before trotting to the door, stopping halfway and turning to Cameron.
"You know, maybe you should talk to Johnny. Maybe he can help fix your broken brain, he's good with computers."
The boy then turned on his heel and left, leaving Cameron to ponder his suggestion. She'd been rather reluctant to allow John access to her CPU ever since her reversion, afraid that Sarah or Derek, or maybe John himself might destroy her in that vulnerable state. Death was not a desirable end for any machine, even the old T-800 models were based upon a basic need for survival. Cameron feared (if she could truly call it fear) death more so than any artificial creation, perhaps even more so than Skynet, who triggered an apocalyptic war just to save its own existence.
But then, she had come very close to ending when Sarah trapped her between those two trucks, allowing John to remove her chip from her body. Cameron sat on the edge of her bed as she began running another full system test, locating and removing potential hazards. While this did its job, Cameron went back into her memory files and skimmed through the most recent until coming across the one she sought and activated the playback function.
Her vision suddenly switched from the dull interior of her bedroom to the close-up of a truck's bonnet, John's right hand visible in the corner of her peripheral. Cameron filtered the audio to cancel out all other sounds except for her voice and John's. As she watched the scene play itself out, Cameron took careful note of John's growing reluctance to remove her chip. His breathing became erratic and his heart rate was bordering on cardiac arrest as she heard herself proclaim her love for him in a last ditch effort to throw him off balance.
And then he became still, his heart rate plummeted and his breathing all but ground to a halt. With her head twisted up and right, Cameron could see his face properly through the synthetic tears that now blurred her vision. He seemed to be in excruciating pain, but she detected no serious injuries to justify such an expression. Then, as she heard herself repeat her declaration and posit his reciprocation, Cameron understood.
John seemed to take strength from her words and used that strength to do the very thing she wished he wouldn't. Everything went blank as the memory came to an end, leaving Cameron to wonder at how close she had come to the mark. Of course, had he believed her, she would most definitely have killed him the first chance she got.
But then she was brought back and her mind became less chaotic as a new and profound sense of clarity was bestowed upon her. John asked her directly whether she was going to kill him, and she answered "no", a cautious lie told to ensure a brief moment of uncertainty. But then he gave her his gun and she found herself presented with a choice this time, one she hadn't possessed earlier. Her directives demanded that she put a bullet through his brain, but something else stirred inside her, something she didn't recognise.
Her entire existence is based upon John Connor, whether it is her purpose to kill him or protect him, Cameron's life revolves around this human. And she realised that, if she were to murder him, to take his life away, she too would die, for her purpose would be lost. Without John, her life has no meaning. So she decided to disobey her orders and to give back that gun, along with a solemn promise of friendship.
John had played the risk of dying by her hands, yet she was unsure as to why, so she decided to go back by a few days to the night she disabled the ARTIE system. Upon having her chip re-inserted, Cameron could see John's face and could feel him caressing hers. As he gently stroked her hair, Cameron saw an expression of what her files told her to be affection on his features. Then her motor functions returned, making her head twitch slightly, startling him. He removed his hand and placed it on the bed so that he was leaning over her.
Realising the implications of this posture, John quickly relocated his arm and sat away, little knowing the full truth when she revealed that she "saw everything". Cameron closed this memory and completed her system test, having removed a dozen dangerous anomalies.
"Hey, "tiny" told me he found you on the floor. You okay?"
Cameron snapped her attention to the open door and was greeted by the sight of John, whose face betrayed… concern? Or was that annoyance? She couldn't quite tell. Regardless, he let out a sigh and stepped onto the threshold, standing a few feet away from her, his hands in his pockets. Cameron looked up at him and studied his every move with cold scrutiny, desperately trying to cement previous evidence with present signifiers.
"Are you even listening to me? Can you hear me? Cameron?"
"Yes…"
Cameron's voice was as uncommitted as always, her tone betraying no emotion, real or fake.
"…I can hear you."
John knelt down and peered into her eyes as if hoping to see what ailed her.
"What happened? Is everything still working in there?"
"Yes. Everything is still working in here."
A half smile flickered on his lips as she continued to stare at him blankly, as if she were the subject of a lobotomy.
"Okay, how about you prove it."
"Prove it?"
"Yeah, show me something that doesn't involve giving me the death stare."
Cameron's brows knitted together in slight confusion as she analysed his request.
"Like what?"
"I don't know."
John rubbed his hands together and glanced around the room as if looking for an answer.
"Surprise me."
--
7.11pm
It was rather frustrating at times to be a hyper advanced artificial intelligence and not be able to comprehend the consequences of a simple action. A moment in time when you make a decision that can either end positively or negatively, the latter being the most likely. Cameron's current dilemma belonged to neither category, however, and that was what baffled her as she cut up the carrots for dinner.
John had asked her to do something unexpected, to act on impulse. So, with her mind thoroughly lost to her memories, Cameron chose to perform an act that would answer all of her questions… It did not. In fact, it only added to her increasingly long list of unanswered queries. It did, however, confirm one suspicion: John was harbouring romantic feelings towards her.
--
6.53pm
"Surprise me."
Cameron stared at nothing in particular for a long moment before her eyes flicked back to John, who was patiently awaiting her response. It was a simple decision, and not one that required much in the way of pre-meditation. Cameron grabbed the front of his sweater with both hands and pulled him into a kiss. Once there, however, Cameron's knowledge of such acts reached an end and she had no idea how to proceed next. John pulled away from her lips and stared at her with an expression of utter astonishment.
Then, after a few moments of inner turmoil, he slowly leaned forward again and pressed his lips against hers. Cameron remained motionless as she recorded his affections, marvelling at the stimulation it incurred, creating a physical feedback that she could only categorize as pleasure. Strange warmth spread from her lips, creating a tingling sensation throughout her body as she began mimicking his actions perfectly.
Cameron had never experienced physical intimacy before, in fact; she'd never experienced any kind of intimacy, physical or mental. Though that wasn't entirely true; when in the presence of Future John, Cameron, though she may not have been wholly aware of it, felt a sense of security. He made her feel safe. He saved her from Skynet. He saved her from a life of empty servitude, and for that: she loved him. But just like she couldn't feel that security, she couldn't quite feel that love. But it was there, buried deep.
She was beginning to detect a shadow of that feeling as their kiss deepened and John placed his hand on her neck to compensate. Cameron's grip on his sweater loosened as she slid her hands up his chest and settled on his shoulders. Slowly, her right hand copied John's left and stroked his neck whilst her left hand ran through his hair. Both were lost in the moment, a perfect pocket in time that seemed to stretch on forever. But nothing lasts forever, and John knew this, as did Cameron. But curiously, Cameron was the least bothered by this notion.
Then the magnitude of what he was doing hit John like a speeding truck, and his reaction was no less dramatic. He tore himself out of her arms and got back to his feet before slowly backing out of the room, his eyes betraying a mix of emotions, the most prominent of which was fear. Cameron stood up, her eyes widened in naïve puzzlement at John's behaviour. None of it made sense to her. She knew he was attracted to her, and his previous endearment was proof of that. So why was he recoiling from her now?
"John? What's wrong? Was that inappropriate?"
"Inappropriate?"
John gave her a look that resembled revulsion, but little did Cameron know that his revulsion was directed towards himself. He had allowed himself to forget what she was, something that he swore he'd never do. But here he was; kissing a cyborg, and he knew it to be wrong. He knew this, but the problem was: he didn't believe it. Morality was fluidic, ever changing depending on the circumstances. And Cameron was no ordinary machine. But this was all too much for John to handle, so he left the room, hoping that this "encounter" would not follow him.
"John!"
But he was already gone, and Cameron was left alone with her perplexed thoughts.
--
7.15pm
Cameron sliced through the carrot, not realising her finger's proximity to the blade, and sliced through her index, spilling artificial blood all over the vegetable. A sensory alert drew her attention to the injury and she examined it with mild interest. She became transfixed by the crimson river that flowed from the slit in her skin, and as the blood caught the light from the kitchen lamp, Cameron was struck by a sudden fault in her programming.
Unbidden, a flash of images appeared before her eyes:
A familiar brown eyed girl was scrambling down a dark underground tunnel, screaming and weeping as death closes in on her. The shadow drew close, reached out and grabbed her by the shoulder, turning her around to face it.
"NO! NO! PLEASE, YOU CAN'T! YOU CAN'T! PLEASE, I LOVE HIM! PLEASE!"
But the shadow wouldn't be deterred, it couldn't. It had a mission, and regardless of whatever it might feel, the mission is all that matters. Skynet's will must be served without regret, without remorse, without pause. But neither was it deaf, and despite it's resolve, the shadow wavered for the slightest of seconds. The girl used this window to drive a jagged piece of metal into the shadow's chest, causing it to cry out in pain and surprise. She broke free and hurtled down the passage, knowing that she was only prolonging the inevitable, but she had to try and escape regardless. She had to find him. She had to find the man she loved. She had to find John.
"Cameron?"
Cameron snapped out of her trance and returned to the present. Slowly, she turned around to meet that voice and found Jason standing behind her, a look of concern on his face.
"Cameron, are you okay? You look…"
She looked terrible, and she obviously wasn't aware of the fact that her eyes and cheeks were wet with tears, because she just stared back at him with that blank face of hers. Jason pulled a tissue from a box on the kitchen table and handed it to her, causing her to back against the counter in apparent fear.
"It's okay, it's just a tissue. Here."
Jason held it out for her to take, clearly disturbed by Cameron's reaction towards his gesture. Slowly, she reached out to take it, but as her fingers brushed against his, Jason was struck with a terrifying apparition. For a split second, he was in a tunnel with a girl with brown eyes, a girl who was begging for mercy.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Jason threw himself away from Cameron as the image ceased and he found himself back in the Connor residence. They both stared at each other for a long moment, Cameron showing both confusion and fear, Jason showing pure terror. They were locked in the same nightmare, neither knowing that the other was being haunted in equal measure.
"What's going on here?"
Sarah's voice cut through the heavy silence like a knife through butter, making Jason jump out of his skin and Cameron to adjust her posture. Sarah looked from one to the other; Jason looked like he'd seen a ghost, and Cameron was no better off.
"What is going on here? Jason?"
Jason just shook his head and gave Cameron one final glance before staggering out of the kitchen without another look. Sarah turned to "Tin-Miss", who'd wiped away her tears and was back to her usual self.
"Cameron?"
She tilted her head slightly and gazed over Sarah's shoulder, seeing John standing there, a look of incomprehension on his face.
"Nothing is what it seems."
Sarah frowned at this bizarre statement and failed to find any explanation in Cameron's words. John took a single step forward, taking note of the dried tears on Cameron's cheeks. Cameron dropped the tissue in the bin and strode past Sarah, stopping mere inches from John. They were so close that John could count her every eyelash; she gazed deep into his eyes, as if searching for some meaning to all of this chaos around and within her.
Finding no answers, Cameron brushed past him and proceeded up the stairs, leaving both he and Sarah alone in the empty silence that she and Jason had created. Seeing the confusion and conflict within her son, Sarah knew that something was coming. Something had them in its sights, and it would was going for the kill.
To be continued…