Rain

Dorian studied Manon from where he was perched. She was asleep, breathing in and out gently. She was still naked, but Dorian ignored that. He ran his hand through his messy raven-black hair. He didn't expect that reaction from her last night. He didn't even know why he asked.

He had held her last night, kissed the tears away; He didn't know how to make them stop.

He had felt her pain, her confusion. And it was such a strange feeling, he couldn't describe it. He felt it in his blood, his bones. It scared him. Scared him that he needed her. Needed her to keep his darkness away. Felt a need to protect her, piece her back together.

He sighed.

He noticed Manon shifting. Her dark lashes slightly moving. Her swollen eyelids slowly parting. Slowly she lifted her head, surveyed her surroundings. She lifted her body, and placed her fingers on a sleeping Abraxos, rubbing him. She was avoiding meeting his eyes.

"The others already headed out. They said that despite the heat yesterday, it's going to be freezing tonight; It might even rain. They went to search for the nearest inn."

He paused and studied her. Studied her tired body.

"Your second and third didn't want to go. I didn't think you would want to see them just yet. I thought it would be best if we stayed behind, caught up to them later."

She finally met his eyes. Manon nodded and turned away to study her hands."I'm sorry," she said quietly.

"It's not a weakness to cry, Manon. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

She closed her eyes and gently rubbed them. Ran a hand through her knotted hair. Quietly he stood from where he was sitting and collected her clothes. He gently helped her get dressed, noticed her slightly confused face.

"It's best we get going. If we leave now, we might just get there before dinner," he said.

Dorian collected their things while Manon watched Abraxos eat. Dorian tried making small talk, but she only replied with a nod. Her silence was driving him mad. He unpacked the food her second had left her. He put it in front of her.

She shook her head.

"You need to eat, Manon."

She shook her head again.

"Please," he begged.

She raised her head, looked at him, and slowly began to eat.

"When I was a boy, I once stole a pie from the kitchen. Ate every last bit by myself, he quietly chuckled. " I was sick for days."

When she didn't reply, Dorian continued. "I once spilled tea on Aelin's dress. Aedion nearly killed me. On one of his visits, he tripped me into a rosebush."

Still no reply.

"My first kiss was awful. My first time was even worse. I was so embarrassed that I almost fled the room." He paused. " I love it when it rains, though I hate the sound of lighting."

He studied her. Manon was still avoiding his eyes.

" I-"

"Dorian, stop! I don't care! I don't! I don't need you to look after me. Don't need you to hold me. I-I don't need you at all!"

Dorian stilled. Shocked. He was trying to control his temper, but he lost that battle quickly."You act like you don't care about anything, but in reality...you care about everything! Why can't you just admit it? What are you so afraid of?"

Manon ignored his question. "At least I don't sit back and let everyone coddle me! You run away at every chance you get! Trying to avoid the inevitable. You can't change it, Dorian! It's either going to be you or Aelin at the end."

Dorian's heart quickly slowed. He swallowed. "I know," he said quietly." I know."

He avoided her eyes. Sighed, and quietly whispered ,"When I find the last key...I'm-I'm going to do it."

"Dorian-"

He shook his head.

"Aelin has sacrificed so much. I was born with a silver spoon. She deserves to be Queen. My people hate my guts. They don't need another Havilliard on that throne." He paused. "Aelin is married. Immortal. Her and Rowan will one day have powerful heirs. And I will be left to rot. If I must die...Let me at least die for my friends. I can't think of any greater death."

Manon stared at him. Her face utterly still.

They both were silent for a long moment.

"I'm 116. Asterin, My second, is my cousin. I've known her almost my whole existence. Abraxos saved me from the wyvern I originally wanted. I don't remember my first kiss, it wasn't anything special to me." She paused, then continued."I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I am a monster, that I will continue to be a monster. I'm afraid ... that one day I will be alone. I'm afraid to look at you. Because eveytime I do, I see a part of me in you. That loneliness. Emptiness."

Dorian looked at his hands. "I'm afraid too," was his only reply.

He looked at Abraxos.

"We should get going," she said.

Dorian nodded.

It was late when they arrived. The inn was anything but shabby. Golden Chandeliers hung from the ceiling. Big pillars lined the dining hall.

Manon noticed all the men taking glances at her, then shifting their gaze to Dorian and turning away. Compared to the blistering heat from yesterday...it was freezing. Manon had to send Abraxos away, along with the other wyverns; trying to blend in with their surroundings.

Dorian and Manon asked the attendant for one room, saying that they were husband and wife. Once they were down the hall they silently parted. Manon heading to Asterin's room, and Dorian going to his .

Manon silently opened the door, trying not to disturb Asterin. But she was wide awake, smiling at Manon.

"About time you got here," she said." That idiot Lorcan was getting on my nerves. Who does he think he is? He's been pestering Elide. I swear...next time he even tries to get close to her, I'll gut him."

Manon wasn't in the mood to talk, but she had to go along. Pretend. Asterin most likely already knew about her breakdown last night. Especially if Dorian had sent her away.

"I'll help you."

Manon closed her eyes. Exhausted.

"Manon, Are you okay? Dorian didn't tell us anything, but he really recommended we leave without you. He looked so worried, I just..."

Manon shook her head. "It was nothing," she said quietly.

"Manon-"

"Nothing."

Asterin only shook her head.

Manon took off her clothes, glad to be rid of the filth.

She slipped into the warm sheets, Layering the blankets over her. She waited until Asterin fell asleep.

Late in the night, she heard the little patter of rain on the window. Remembered that Dorian loved the rain. She gently tried pulling at that strange thread from the night before.

Awake. He was awake.

She looked to where Asterin laid, making sure she was deep asleep.

She quietly wrapped her blanket around her bare form and tipped toed into the hall. Silently she walked to his door. She laid her forehead against it. Ashamed that once again she was looking for him. Ashamed that once again she was putting herself in this position. Damaging herself even more.

Slowly the door unlocked, as if he already felt her presence.

She took a deep breath and turned the knob.