Wow I never expected so many of you to jump on board with this story, glad to see some of you enjoying it, of course this story has ups and downs throughout so enjoy the ride!
Bayard woke first the next morning, he glanced down at his watch and saw that it was only five am, the movement woke up Olivia who for a moment forgot where she was and who she was with.
"Morning." He smiled as her eyes fluttered open.
"Morning." She replied groggily before jumping upright. "Shit B!" Olivia gasped her hand flying to her mouth.
"You fell asleep I didn't want to wake you." He explained calmly.
"You should have, you must have been so uncomfortable." She told him as he pulled her back into his chest.
"With you, I could never be uncomfortable." He informed her softly making her grin.
"What time is it?" She asked as she wrapped her hands around his waist.
"Five." He replied running his fingers through her hair.
"It's too early." Olivia moaned making him chuckle slightly.
"I need to go and get ready for work." He told her.
"Of course you do." Olivia sighed pushing herself to sitting.
"Not before I kiss my girlfriend though." He smiled leaning into her.
She smiled and kissed him back, this was the life and she didn't want to let it go.
"I'll see you later?" He asked as she pulled away.
"Of course." She smiled. "Sorry about last night though wasn't …"
"Shh." He said pressing a finger to her lips. "You have nothing to apologise for Olivia, now I'll catch you later." He kissed her crown as she pretended to go and bite his finger making him chuckle as he got to his feet.
Olivia walked him to do the door and gave him one last kiss before rushing off to get ready for work.
At seven am Olivia walked into the bullpen to find another bouquet of flowers on her desk. She smiled as she picked up the card.
Last night was perfect, keep your chin up and smile
B x
Olivia grinned happily and as she was the first in the bullpen she could admire the white roses he'd sent her in a white glitter vase. She felt spoilt as this was the third day in a row he'd sent her flowers.
"Third date go well?" Munch asked as he walked in behind her.
"Yeah I think so." Olivia replied as she sat down, Munch sensed that she didn't want to talk and went to sit down at his own desk.
She went into her purse and pulled out the letter she'd received from her father, as she read through it she wondered what it was that he expected her to do, but one thing she knew was that she wouldn't be able to put this aside and forget about it.
After putting away the letter she turned to the crime board hoping that some idea would come to mind. Fin and Elliot arrived within five minutes of each other, Elliot stopping to pick up the card on the roses that Olivia hadn't bothered hiding.
"Chin up?" He asked her as she flicked through a file.
"Yeah what?" She asked.
"Have you got a reason to need to keep your chin up?" Elliot asked, his eyes latching on to Olivia's too show that he was expecting a decent answer.
"It's nothing El, nothing I want to share with you YET, when I'm ready then I'll tell you ok?" Olivia smiled gently, it was none of Elliot's business but he would never take that as an adequate answer.
"You won't tell your partner of nine years but you'll tell your boyfriend of four days?" He asked frowning.
"I didn't have to tell him El he was there." Olivia explained. "If he hadn't have been I wouldn't have told him either." She explained and he nodded before going to sit down, as much as it pained him he kept his questions at bay.
"Right listen up!" Don said coming into the bullpen from his office.
"I swear he lives in that office." Munch mumbled making the Detectives chuckle softly.
"I want us to do a public appeal for the whereabouts of Mathew Miller, someone somewhere knows where this kid is and then maybe we can get some answers about who killed his family." Don said.
"We've been taking for granted that Mathew is a victim here but what if he killed them?" Olivia suggested.
"You think he raped his Mom?" Elliot asked.
"Hey we've seen enough sick things in this line of work that it wouldn't surprise me, just sicken me." Olivia replied firmly.
"Olivia get in uniform you're going on TV I'm setting the conference up for ten." Cragen said.
"Why me?" She asked, there was nothing she hated more than getting in uniform and making a press appeal.
"Because I have a meeting with the brass and Munch and Fin have court so I want Elliot here managing the phones with the rookies till you get back." He explained.
"Fine." Olivia grumbled, she really hated being in uniform.
"So Elliot round up the uniforms and rookies, Munch and Fin Casey will kill you if you're late so make sure you're there on time and Olivia go change." And on that he walked back to his office, it was obvious that he was stressed about something but he wasn't revealing anything to his Detectives.
Olivia sat at her desk and sighed, she knew her uniform was hanging up in the large lockers upstairs but she hadn't worn it in so long she wasn't even sure if it would fit anymore.
Bayard tapped her on her shoulder making her jump but she grinned when she turned and saw him.
"What are you doing here?" She asked smiling.
"Can't bring the most beautiful woman in the world coffee and bagels?" He asked placing the objects on her desk.
"Aww Thank you." She smiled.
He leaned in and kissed her chastely before sitting in the chair beside the desk, the one reserved for victims and people reporting a crime.
"I haven't got long, I'm on press conference duty." Olivia told him as he placed serviettes on her desk and placed the bagels on top.
"You're doing a press conference?" He asked.
"Yeah." She grumbled.
"I'm guessing you're not pleased about that." He smiled as he put cream and sugar in her coffee before handing it over to her.
"I hate them, having to get into uniform and appeal to the public for information, makes cops feel incompetent." Olivia explained as she used the plastic knife to cut her bagel.
"How does it make you feel incompetent?" Bayard frowned, he couldn't get his head around that logic.
"We're asking for the publics help in solving a crime which is our job, so it feels like we're asking them to do our job for us sometimes." She explained before popping a piece of bagel in her mouth.
"That's stupid Olivia, you're just asking them to give you some piece of information so you can do your job…"
"Information we should be able to get without having to ask for it B." She interrupted.
"Sometimes we have to ask, I understand what you mean Princess but sometimes the only way you can get some answers is by asking for them." Bayard replied, he adored this woman, the way she wrinkled her nose when she was frustrated was just cute in his eyes.
"Benson get in uniform now!" Cragen yelled from the office door.
"What crawled in his ass and died." She mumbled as she gathered the crumbs off her desk.
Bayard chuckled, he couldn't help himself when she looked annoyed she still warmed his heart and made him smile.
"What's funny B?" She asked him as he tried to stop laughing.
"Just you." He smiled leaning in to her.
She smiled and leaned in back kissing him softly, unaware of the men who had been watching the whole time Bayard had been here.
"I should go let you do some work." He smiled when she pulled away.
"Yeah." She nodded and smiled at him. "Thank you for breakfast and the flowers, you know I'm going to get used to this if you don't stop." She laughed.
"You deserve it." He smiled. "You think you'll be free tonight?"
"I don't know B if we get a lead from the appeal chances are I'll be working." She sighed.
The truth was she wanted to go out with Bayard some more but she knew one tip would have her working all night.
"Ok why don't you call me when you finish, if you finish?" He asked.
"Sure." She smiled.
He kissed her cheek and left leaving her in a state of pure bliss which only lasted seconds because she had to rush off to get ready for the press conference.
Six hours later and Elliot and Olivia were pulling up at a crime scene they'd been called to. The body of Mathew Miller had been found and Olivia was blaming herself.
"What happened to him?" Olivia asked Melinda as she crouched down beside the body.
"He was sodomised pre mortem and then asphyxiated, see the ligature mark here?"
"Yeah." Olivia replied getting to her feet again.
"I'll tell you more when I get him on the table but from what I can see he was handcuffed." Melinda said using her pen to raise the sleeves of the jumper Miller was wearing.
"Shit." Olivia sighed before walking off.
"Liv this isn't your fault." Elliot told her knowing exactly what was going through her mind as she leant against the car.
"I'm the one who made the appeal Elliot, I'm the one who asked for Mathew's safe return and then they kill him what am I supposed to feel other than guilt?" She bit.
He sighed and looked around the area of Central Park that they were in, a place that held so much beauty normally suddenly felt cold and looked ugly, especially with CSU all over the place trying to find something that would help them close the case.
"You are not to blame, the only person or people to blame are the ones who killed him ok?" He told her as he grabbed her shoulders tempted to shake some sense into her.
"Sure, come on let's go back to the house." Olivia sighed before getting in the car.
As soon as they were on their way Elliot decided to try and talk to her, something was going on with her and that was obvious, but he didn't know what, he didn't know anything but he felt like he needed to know because whatever it was had started to affect her in her work which Olivia didn't let happen.
"What's bothering you Liv?" Elliot asked.
"A kid is dead, a kid we should have been looking for." Olivia snapped.
"Nah there's something else going on in that head of yours." He replied simply, he hoped that he would be able to get through to her.
"No El there isn't so will you drop this?" She asked angrily.
"No I won't, is it Ellis? Is he abusing you or something?" Elliot had the most horrible visions going around in his head.
"No! B isn't abusing me! I can't even believe that you thought that, everything between me and Bayard is fine, great actually and just because I have something going on in my privet life don't insinuate that it's anything to do with my boyfriend because he has nothing to do with it Elliot." She snapped, she was in shock that he'd even asked her such a ridiculous thing, first Bayard would never lay a hand on her and secondly she knew she would be able to take him down herself so she wouldn't have a problem if he ever tried to do such a thing.
"Ok! I'm sorry I just hate seeing you look so lost Liv." He explained.
"Just drop it El, if I wanted you to know I'd tell you ok?" She sighed and Elliot just nodded in reply.
Back at the precinct Olivia went straight to her desk and dropped her head in her hands, this case was getting to her more than usual.
"What's with Benson?" Cragen asked as he met Elliot at his office door.
"Dunno, a combination of guilt and something going on in her privet life that she refuses to tell me about." Elliot replied as his eyes scanned over his partner, she looked emotionally drained, her skin was paler and her shoulders were hunched.
Cragen looked suddenly pale too at the mention of something going on in her privet life which Elliot didn't fail to notice, he decided however not to say anything to the Captain yet, he had no right to after all but Elliot was now trying to put two and two together.
"Benson!" Cragen yelled making her jump.
"Yes Cap'n?" She called back.
"Huang's upstairs go pay him a visit." Cragen told her.
"What?" She yelled jumping to her feet. "Cap I'm fine I don't need a shrink!" Olivia snapped.
"I want you to talk to Huang or find yourself off this case Olivia." He yelled back.
"Why?" She replied angrily, she didn't understand his reasoning.
"I don't have to give you a reason Detective, talk to the shrink now that's an order!" He snapped.
Olivia glared at him and then at Elliot before marching up to the lounge where she knew the shrink would be sat looking over some case files.
"What's going on cap?" Elliot asked him seriously.
"What do you mean?" Cragen asked turning to the Detective beside him.
"I don't know but why send Benson to see a shrink? She's dealt with worse." He explained.
"You said it yourself, something is going on in her privet life and if it's affecting her work then she needs to talk it out." Cragen replied but Elliot knew there was something more going on that his superior wasn't going to tell him.
Upstairs, Olivia sat down on the couch opposite the couch Huang was occupying, she really didn't understand Cragen's want for her to see a shrink but she didn't want to be thrown off the case, she also didn't understand why he was so angry towards her but that could wait for now, he would go and see her superior after talking with the shrink and find out what on earth was going on.
"Olivia?" Huang finally asked when she'd sat in silence for a few minutes.
She was sat with her elbows resting on her knees and her hands clasped together completely muted, she didn't know what to say and in her frustration she couldn't sit still either. She got up and walked behind the couch so she could pace.
Huang could see something was really bothering the Detective, so he put down his files and sat back hoping he could get her to talk.
"Did Cragen ask you to come and talk to me?" Huang asked.
"Yes." She replied without even looking at him, still pacing up and down behind the couch.
"Ok what about?" Huang asked.
"I don't know." She spat through gritted teeth.
"You want to tell me about the case you're working?" Huang asked gently, knowing nine times out of ten it was the reason the Detectives were made to talk to him.
"Not really." Olivia replied before stopping and leaning on the back of the couch finally looking the psychiatrist in the eye. "There's a fifteen year old kid who's dead and I can't stop blaming myself." Olivia explained.
"Why do you think it's your fault?" He asked.
"I was the one who did the press conference, I'm the one who made the appeal and I'm trying to think what I said or what I did that might have given them a reason to kill him but my mind his so cluttered at the moment I can't remember." She explained not realising he'd given the psychiatrist an opening.
"What's making your mind cluttered?" as you put it." He asked.
"I'm sorry?" He Olivia replied shaking her head.
"You said your mind was cluttered, what's causing that?" He asked again just rewording the question in the hope she'd answer it.
"It doesn't matter." She shrugged putting her hand in her jacket pocket where the letter off her father now lay, for some reason she wanted to have it close.
"Why don't you think it matters?" Huang asked hoping to be able to get something out of her.
"Because it's personal, it's not work it's nothing to do with work." She explained harshly.
"But it's to do with you, your life." Huang replied.
"It's …" Olivia sighed, there was no way of getting around this but she didn't want to tell Huang.
He decided to take a different route to getting her to open up.
"I heard you were in a new relationship, how's that going?" Huang asked noticing that Olivia's features softened instantly at the mention of her relationship which could mean that whatever was bothering her wasn't to do with him.
"It's going really good." Olivia said softly. "Perfect in fact."
"Sit down and tell me about him." Huang replied hoping this tactic would work.
Olivia sighed softly and went back round to sit on the couch this time without as much worry in her eyes.
"He's Bayard Ellis the defence attorney." Olivia told the shrink, he was surprised but managed to keep it from his face.
"Ok tell me something about him that's not common knowledge, his personality outside the courtroom." Huang tried.
"He likes cuddling on the couch and listening to Celine Dion." Olivia laughed softly, she loved thinking about her relationship with Bayard, he made her feel warm inside in a way no one had ever done before. "He likes drinking coffee over bagels or muffins and likes smiling."
It was obvious by the twinkle in her eye that Olivia cared deeply for the man she was talking about, she seemed to relax a little and Huang was going to use this to his advantage.
"Does he know what's been going on in your personal life?" Huang asked.
"Yeah." Olivia nodded, she probably wouldn't have handled it if it wasn't for Bayard.
"And what does he say about it all?" Huang continued.
"That whatever I decide to do about it he'll be there for me." Olivia said with a gentle smile.
"It's good that you have some support in place but do you tell him how you feel about the issue?" He asked.
"We've only been together a few days George I don't want to scare him away." She laughed uncomfortably.
"He said he'd be there for you though Olivia, isn't that saying he wants to be there for you in every way?" Huang asked.
"I don't know …"
"Benson!" A cry from downstairs came.
Olivia sighed and rushed off feeling quite pleased to be getting the hell away from Huang who always seemed to get inside her head.
Cragen was stood waiting for her at the bottom of the steps with an apologetic look on his face. Olivia felt nervous and quietly followed him to the office with all the eyes in the bullpen watching them go, she started to know what a perp walk felt like for the perp.
Once the office door closed Cragen went round to the side of the desk and handed over a blue warrant.
"You've been served." He told her.
Nervously she took the paper and opened it to find she was being sued.
"The Miller's family are suing me?" She asked in shock.
"What's the reason?" Cragen asked.
"They're blaming me for Mathew's death." She whispered as she bit back her tears.
"You're going to need a lawyer." Cragen told her the apologetic look still on her face.
"Yeah… uh can I take a personal day?" She asked her eyes still glued to the blue paper.
"Take tomorrow too, you have enough days built up." He told her.
"Thanks." She muttered before rushing out to grab her stuff and go.
Olivia rushed into the building, she didn't know why she'd come here, why come to see this person but right now it's the only person she thought could help her. She rushed to the receptionist and she realised she must have had a worried expression on her face.
"Detective Benson right?" The receptionist asked with a soft smile.
"Yeah is Bayard around?" She asked.
"Yeah he's in his office." She smiled pointing down the corridor.
"Thanks." Olivia replied before rushing off.
She knocked lightly on the glass door and he looked up and smiled at her.
"What are you doing here?" He smiled as she opened the door.
"I need your help." She whispered as he wrapped his arms around her.
"Why what's happened?" He asked pulling out of the embrace to look her in the eye.
She pulled the warrant from her purse and handed it over to him. He went round to the back of the desk and sat in his chair while Olivia stood with one arm across her chest and the other hand rubbing her top lift nervously.
He was quiet for several moments as he read through what she was being charged with. The brother of Mr Miller was suing Olivia for causing Mathew's murder and as he read through the details a frown appeared on his face.
"Have you investigated him as a suspect?" Bayard asked.
"Who Mr Miller's brother?" Olivia asked and Bayard nodded in reply. "No why?"
"I think you should, or you should mention it to your partner." He explained.
"I don't under…"
"I wouldn't be surprised if he's suing you so that you'll be so caught up in the law suit you won't think of him as a suspect, because I don't think this is about money the Miller's are a wealthy bunch of people." Ellis explained further.
"So what do I do?" Olivia asked.
"Let your partner know and then we go to court." He explained.
"We?" Olivia asked.
"I'll represent you for this Olivia, you can't ignore it but I can do my best to make it go away." Bayard said softly.
"Isn't that a conflict of interest or something?" She asked feeling a little better knowing he was going to take the case, she trusted him.
"Nope, I'm representing you not prosecuting one of your cases or defending one of your perps. This is completely ok." He informed her and nodded gratefully.
"Thank you." She told him.
"I'd do anything for you Olivia and I will make sure that we win." He replied. "I just need your partner to get to finding out if he could be your killer."
"Ok I'll let Elliot know." She said whipping out her phone.
"In the meantime do you have to go back to work?" He asked.
"Nope and I'm off tomorrow too." Olivia smiled.
"Then how about dinner at my place, we'll get a pizza and watch a movie or something." He smiled.
Olivia just nodded, the law suit leaving her mind for a while as she thought about spending the evening with her boyfriend which she couldn't wait to begin.