AN: Hey everyone! I want to say thank you so much for all the new faves, follows, and reviews for this story. I am struggling with a bit of writer's block at the moment and all of those give me more reasons to keep trying to work it out so I can get the next part of the story out to you.

Now for a little FYI: The Maura I create in my stories is usually at least a little out of character than what you may be used to on the show. She doesn't always google mouth and her actions and reactions to things are going to be different than they probably would be on the show. If that bothers you you might want to stop reading now and move on to a story where the author is able to write her as more of the character we know and love. I do my best to keep the spirit of the Maura we love from the show, but in this story she is my Maura (even though I hold no real rights to her) and I write her the way I feel she needs to be to reflect my story. I know that how I write her has upset some readers in the past which is why I felt I should give you all some warning now. So on to the next chapter of the story. Enjoy!

Chapter 4 -Bartender

She sat at the end of the huge mahogany bar, which was located just off the lobby in her hotel, with another glass of red wine in front of her. The rather plush stool she sat on was nearest the wall at the end of it. This spot afforded her the most privacy. Not that she necessarily needed it; the bar was pretty empty at the present moment. She wasn't sure if it was just a slow night or the fact that it was getting rather late. She didn't mind it too much though because tonight she needed the quiet. Otherwise she might have found a different place to drink so her memories faded away.

When she was younger she would hit up a club and chase a disco ball around until she couldn't remember what was troubling her. There used to be comfort in the fact that she could go in somewhere and get lost in the noise and the lights of a place. That had been years ago though, now she needed somewhere more peaceful she could sit and replay the stupid thing she'd done in her mind and drown her sorrows.

Speaking of stupid things, who actually did what she had just done? Who just decided one day that they couldn't take seeing their best friend, whom they happened to be in love with, happy with someone else and decided that they would leave? She probably needed to look into seeing a psychiatrist because there must be something wrong with her that she would just up and leave her life like that and then leave a note telling Jane that she was in love with her.

"Bartender," she called. "Bring me a double shot of Crown neat, please." The wine wasn't going to cut it anymore. She needed something stronger. The bartender set her glass down in front of her and she picked it up taking a slow sip from it. It burned all the way down, but the burn in her throat couldn't compare to the ache she felt inside her chest.

The ache was the reason she'd left. It had started the day Jane had shot herself and had become increasingly stronger ever since. She had tried to dull the pain, to those on the outside it looked like one night stands, but it was the only way she had figured out that she might be able to escape. It hadn't worked though, not one single time. She always just wanted to run to Jane afterwards and tell her, but she had never had the courage.

The bartender came over and poured her another drink. She picked it up like the last one and took a sip. The pain was easier to handle when Jane was single. They got to spend more time together and for a short time she was able to pretend that it would always just be the two of them. That somehow they would realize they loved each other and just let it go from there and build a life together. That's why it's called pretend, or a dream, or whatever people wanted to call it.

It was when she started to see Casey that the pain had become almost unbearably intense. Of all the men Jane had seen he was the perfect candidate for Jane's affections. He was smart, handsome, kind, caring, serving his country and a crush from high school for Jane. But it was like there was something missing between them though, that spark or connection seemed to be lacking. Even though Casey was kind and caring, he often put what he wanted before he thought of Jane and that drove her up the wall. Jane would have her moments, but most of the time she tried to think about others and put their needs ahead of her own and Jane needed someone who would do the same with her so they could balance each other out.

Maura went to take a sip of her drink when she realized that it was empty once again. She has finished that one off faster than she thought she would. She must be getting used to the taste because it didn't burn going down anymore. She could also feel it starting to hit her system, but she didn't care. She motioned for the bartender to pour her up another. Tonight she'd go until he cut her off.

That's why she was here. She was here because they couldn't see that they didn't have a connection. They strolled blindly ahead thinking that things were perfect and it was going to lead to a wedding and a marriage that wouldn't make either of them happy. That was something she couldn't stick around to see. She couldn't stay and watch Jane thinking she was happy and marrying Casey. And she couldn't be the one to tell Jane that he wasn't right for her either. If she did Jane would only rebel and claim to love him that much more. That's what hurt the most; that Jane couldn't see past the fact that there was someone out there who could love her more, love her better, than a man who kept choosing to leave her.

So, she'd left. She decided to make a clean break of things and to try to move on. She could move somewhere and start over in a new place that didn't hold the sad memories of Jane and finding out who her birth father was. She could pick a place and make a life that she wanted to have. It was the hardest thing she'd ever decided to do, but necessary.

Needing to get away she had called her mother to find out if she could take the Foundation jet and come for a visit before she settled on some new place, but when she called she found out that her mother was already in New York getting ready to open a new installation in a couple of days. So she'd come to New York to see her mother and the installation. She had checked into the hotel and come to the bar hoping to fade her memories.

She looked down into the glass that sat empty before her once again. She signaled to the bartender once more. He walked over to her and instead of pouring her another glass he picked it up off the bar and set it with the dirty glasses he had that needed to be washed.

"I think you've had enough for tonight," he said before Maura could protest his action. "You're going to have one major headache tomorrow as it is."

"Well then, I think I'll just head up to my room for the evening," Maura slightly slurred. There was a mini bar up there and she could probably order whatever she wanted from room service. Having the last name Isles around here meant she had a lot of pull, but the bartender was right; at the moment she didn't need another drink. Drinking wasn't getting her anywhere. With that thought she slid from her seat at the bar and steadied herself before she turned and left the bar heading for the bank of elevators that would take her to her room.

Thanks for reading! As always I look forward to hearing anything that you may have to say!