Chapter 4 - First Night (Posted 3 August 2011)

Benny packed a bag to bring with to Ethan's. He wasn't sure how long he would need to stay there, so he packed a few outfits and other things he thought he might need.

"Gramma is going to give us a ride to your house." he said to Ethan.

"Really? Why can't we just walk?"

Benny quirked an eyebrow at him. "Do you really want to walk around outside holding my hand?"

Ethan bit his lip. He didn't want to tell him no, because he was afraid it might hurt his feelings. But he also really didn't want to be seen holding another guy's hand. He blushed slightly before answering, "Oh. Right."

"Exactly." Benny nodded. "So, if you can handle it, we'll let go and walk to her car. And then when we're inside it won't matter because the windows are tinted. We'll have to let go again to get inside your house, but once we're inside we can just sit close or something so your parents don't get suspicious."

"Ok." Ethan felt kind of bad. It wasn't that he didn't want to touch Benny, he just didn't want anyone to think he was gay. But Benny didn't seem bothered by it at all. And that made Ethan feel a little guilty now that he knew how Benny felt about him.

X

Getting to Ethan's house turned out to be more of a chore than they thought it would be. Walking from Benny's house to his grandmother's car was minimally painful as he and Ethan were fairly close together.

They both sat in the back seat so they could touch. But this was where it got a little awkward. Ethan was pretty much okay with the fact that touching Benny made him feel better. And he was coming to terms with knowing that eventually it would be severely painful to not be touching him. But he didn't really like the thought of holding his hand. It had been a knee-jerk reaction earlier simply because it was the easiest thing to do, but now he didn't want to do something like that with his best friend.

And he realized that Benny probably knew that, because when they were finally seated in the car, Benny made no move to grab Ethan's hand. Instead he simply scooted a bit closer and relaxed his arm so that their elbows were faintly rubbing together. "Is that ok?"

Ethan looked at him. "Yeah. It's... fine, I guess."

"You know..." Benny said quietly, "we might be able to make it there without having to touch."

"I thought you didn't mind the touching?" Ethan tried to joke.

"I don't." Benny was using his serious voice. "But you obviously do and that's why it's probably best if we don't touch until we absolutely have to. That way you don't have to feel... awkward."

"I don't feel awkward." Ethan insisted, but looked away.

"Yeah, and I never wear stripes." Benny gave a weak chuckle before sliding away from Ethan.

Ethan pinched his eyes shut. The pain wasn't too bad right now. It was so slight that he almost wasn't sure whether he was actually feeling it or not, like when your ear rings and then you don't quite know if it's still going or if it stopped. But even in the few minutes it took to get from Benny's house to his, he could feel it getting worse. Like a burning in his chest and a pounding in his head getting only a tiny bit worse each second.

When they reached Ethan's house, he was extremely uncomfortable. Sweating and anxious, and feeling tired and dizzy.

"Ok boys," Benny's gramma said, "we're here. I've packed you a few bottles in this cooler. If you need more, don't hesitate to call me."

"Thanks, Gramma." Benny said, reaching front and taking the small cooler from her. He made a move to open the car door.

"Wait." Ethan said as he reached over and put a hand on Benny's shoulder. There was no skin-on-skin contact thanks to Benny's polo, but he did start to feel a little better. "I don't want my parents to see me like this. Just give me a minute, ok?"

Benny just nodded and waited silently.

After thirty seconds or so, Ethan figured he was ready. All he had to do was walk up the path to his house and make it up to his bedroom. Easy. He could do it. He had to do it. "Ok. I'm ready." He took his hand off of Benny.

"Alright." Benny opened the door and got out with Ethan following behind.

Benny's grandmother waved to them. "Good luck, boys. And Benny, don't be too hard on yourself. You know it'll only upset Ethan."

Ethan blushed and looked at Benny who bit his lip and waved back to her. She drove away, leaving them standing there.

"Ready to go inside?" Ethan asked as he began walking toward his house.

"Yeah, totally." Benny said.

They walked in, hoping to go right up to Ethan's room and figure out what their plan was. But his parents were home.

"Oh, there you are, Ethan." his mother said when she spotted him. "Hi, Benny."

"Hey." Benny said.

"So what are you two up two tonight?" Ethan's dad asked.

"Well," Ethan searched for something to say, "we're just going to play some video games. Is it okay if Benny spends the night?"

"Of course sweetheart, Benny is always welcome here." he mom answered. "But don't stay up too late. It's still a school night."

"Sure, Mom." Ethan said.

"What's in the cooler?" his dad asked.

"Um... chemicals for a project." Ethan told them. "Yeah, sensitive chemicals that... need to be kept cold..."

"Oh." the man nodded. "Ok. Off you go then."

Ethan gave a nervous smile and nodded as he quickly left the room, grabbing Benny's arm and dragging him with him. He told himself it was just to get out of there faster, but he didn't really want to admit that it was partly because he was feeling the pain again. He kept hold of Benny's arm until they reached his room. And he still didn't let go once they were inside.

"Um, Ethan?" Benny said. "You're... kind of hurting me."

Ethan looked across at his hand, which was curled tightly around Benny's forearm, harshly digging his nails into his soft skin. He released him immediately and blushed some more. "Sorry. I didn't realize I was doing it."

"It's okay." Benny said with a soft smile. "I guess not touching wasn't such a good idea. I just... I know you don't like that part but I guess we'll have to live with it."

Ethan stared at him. "That's not the only part I don't like. Benny... I don't really care that I have to become a full vampire. I'm already a fledgeling, and we tried so hard to find a cure for Sarah that I'm almost positive that there is no cure, so either way I'm always going to be this way. I just hate that I have to change you too."

"I'm sorry." Benny extended his arm and took Ethan's hand, knowing he needed to be calmed down some more. He knew Ethan wasn't crazy about it, but if it kept the pain at bay then he was almost prepared to force him to hold his hand. "And I wasn't going to tell you this, but... man, you know I hate keeping things from you. Now that you're a vampire... it's not just that psychic connection that's making me want to be a vampire. I really do want it. And I know that sounds crazy and you're probably going to be a little angry at me for saying it but it's true. You're my best friend. I can't... I can't grow up without you growing with me, you know? I mean..."

"Woah, woah, wait." Ethan shook his head. "What are you saying? Why would you want this?"

"Because if you're a vampire, you get older, but your body won't change. Mine will. I'm going to get old. And it could be okay for a few years, you know, you could pass for a few years older than you are and even once we start looking like there's a few years between us it won't be completely weird for us to hang out. But think about twenty five years in the future. A middle-aged man hanging around with a high school student? It won't... it won't work, Ethan. If you're a vampire, I want to be one too so I don't have to lose you. And... to be honest... if it were the other way around... I'd ask you if you would want to join me because I don't ever want to have to give our friendship up."

Ethan didn't know what to say to that. "Wow... I... I didn't think about that."

"You see what I mean though, right?"

"Yeah I... I guess I do. I don't want that to happen at all. Benny, I couldn't live without you..." He didn't mean to make it sound like it did, but it was the truth, and he hoped Benny knew what he meant.

"See?' Benny said with wide eyes. "I know you don't want to feel like you're forcing me to become a vampire, but you're really not. I want... I want to be a vampire. And even if you didn't have to change me... I'd probably go out and find someone who would."

"Wait... you're not just saying that because you feel like you deserve it, are you?" Ethan asked. "Because I know that even though you're putting on a brave face, you still feel like this whole thing is your fault, so you're probably thinking it's like... karma or something."

"No, that's not... well, ok, it's part of it. But just a little part. Trust me, E, I want this to happen. I'm sorry it has to be you but..."

Ethan shook his head. "I'm glad it's me. With what you just said... if you would insist on becoming a vampire, I wouldn't trust anyone else with you. It's... um," he felt some wetness roll down from the corners of his eyes, "it's gonna be hard, having to bite you, but if anyone has to do it... I'm glad it's me."

Benny looked into Ethan's eyes and admitted in a whisper, "I'm glad it's you too."

"And your gramma is right. I really don't even want you to think about the accident with your potion anymore. I should have made you wait until I knew you could handle it but Benny... it's no one's fault. I got bitten and that's the end of it, ok?"

"Ok." Benny nodded.

"Good." Ethan smiled and released Benny's hand. "So, what do you want to do?"

X

They spend the next few hours playing games. They may have been teenagers, practically young adults, but they didn't care about that. They lived for childish things like this, and it was a good way to keep their minds off their current situation.

"Man, I am tired." Benny said as he laid back on the floor.

"Me too." Ethan mumbled, stretching out beside his friend. "I think we should go to bed."

"That's a good idea."

Ethan took a deep breath in order to gain some strength in his sleepy state and stood up. He sat on the edge of his bed and looked down at Benny, who had his eyes closed. "Are you coming?"

"Where?"

"To the bed."

Benny opened one eye and peered at Ethan. "Why would I do that? I always sleep on the floor."

"Not always." Ethan reminded him.

"Sure, sometimes I fall asleep in your bed but then you sleep on the floor. But it's your house and I'm already down here, so..."

"We've slept together before, Benny." Ethan persisted. "Plenty of times."

"Yeah, well, that was before."

"Before what? Before your feelings for me changed?"

"No, we've done it since then." Benny admitted.

"So what's the problem?"

"Now you know about it."

"Yeah, and?" Ethan asked, not quite seeing his point. "I was comfortable with it then, and nothing has changed. I trust you. I know you wouldn't do anything... indecent."

"Of course I wouldn't, but I still don't think it's a good idea."

"Benny it hurts." Ethan finally confessed. "The pain is back and it's worse and I think it's only going to continue to get worse through the night so would you please just get up here and sleep with me?" He was so flustered that he spoke a little too fast. But Benny caught all of it and sat up, looking at Ethan with a concerned face.

"Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

"Because I was... it was fine earlier. It wasn't so bad but..."

"You're probably just thirsty." Benny said, reaching over to the cooler and pulling out a bottle. "Here." he handed it to Ethan. "Drink it and see if you feel better."

"Benny it's not that it just..."

"Just drink it." Benny commanded softly. "Your bloodlust is worse than normal fledgelings' because of the link. So just drink it."

"Fine." Ethan said, grabbing the bottle. He unscrewed the cap and put the opening to his lips, sipping the liquid. Again, before he knew it the entire thing was empty.

"See?" Benny said with a smirk.

"Okay, so you were right, I was thirsty, but I still want you here."

"Ethan..." Benny whined.

"Please, Benny? Just... please."

Benny sighed. "Alright, you got me." He stood. "You know I can't say 'no' to that face."

That sentenced filled Ethan with conflicting emotions. He smiled because he was happy that Benny agreed to sleep in his bed with him, but at the same time it made him a little sad. He'd been wondering all night if maybe Benny was wrong about his feelings and was just confused. And he wanted to know just how long he'd felt this way. And what made it even more confusing was that he wasn't really uncomfortable with it. It didn't feel that strange to him. "Benny?"

"Yeah?" He answered, flopping back on Ethan's bed.

Ethan looked at him. Why was he smiling? It was so obvious that he was sad. And Ethan could hear his pulse speeding up. If he wasn't mistaken, he could even smell the adrenaline running through his veins. "You're nervous. I don't know why, but I can tell that you are. But you don't have to be. Tonight is going to be fine. We'll figure out what to tell my parents in the morning and go from there. And when I bite you, I promise I'll be gently."

"Thanks. But none of those things are the reason I'm nervous."

"Will you tell me what it is then?" Ethan asked as he laid on his side next to Benny.

Benny turned onto his side to face him. "I'm nervous because even though we'll be able to stay friends forever... I'm not so sure that we will."

"How can you say that?" Ethan sounded offended. "Of course we will. You said yourself that you don't want to give up our friendship. And I know for a fact that I... don't want that either. And if you think it's because of... your feelings, you're wrong. I would never abandon you because of that."

"I know that. But... you'll see what I mean eventually. Let's just go to sleep for now, ok? You really need your rest."

"Right." Ethan turned over on his other side, facing away from Benny, and laid there for a few minutes, trying to fall asleep. But he couldn't. "Benny, you know you can... get a little closer. That is why I wanted this in the first place..."

"Oh yeah, sorry. How's this?" He shuffled a little closer until his side was pressed up against Ethan's back. "Better?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"No problem." Benny said. "I'm sure you already know this, but I'd do anything for you, Ethan."

"Yeah. I know."