Luckily for everyone involved, Potter made it out of the Hospital Wing safely before Madame Pomfrey stepped out of her office, but only barely. The door into the wing had just closed when her office one began to slide open. With Potter no longer in the room, Lily realized how quite it seemed. No longer was there that constant buzz of a voice. As each day had passed with him visiting she had grown more and more accustom to the sound, and now she really didn't hear it. Instead she only noticed it when it was no longer there, as the utter silence seemed extremely odd.
She still had been unable to figure out what the sound meant or where it was actually coming from and she didn't dare ask the matron. For all she knew, she'd be tied down to the bed and never released. Then again, Lily thought, maybe this wasn't so out of the ordinary. After all, she really couldn't remember anything to do with Potter from before the accident and so maybe this was not a result of the accident, but something that had in fact existed before it.
"Is everything okay out here dear?" Madame Pomfrey called softly from the doorway. She was dressed in a long cream night-gown which was poking out from beneath a dressing gown that was held together with a sash, "I thought I heard voices," she offered the explanation for what had caused the interruption.
Yeah, I've been hearing them too, what's the deal with that? Was what Lily wanted to say, but instead she said, "No, I wasn't saying anything. At least I hope I wasn't. You never know when you're asleep though. But nobody else is here. I would have heard somebody if they had come in. Thank you and if I was talking in my sleep I apologize for waking you and I sincerely hope it won't happen again," there did she sugar coat it enough?
"Are you sure dear? Okay then, well you sleep well. Oh would you like a dream free sleep potion to help you make it through the night?"
"I think I'll be okay but thanks anyway. The thing is I don't remember dreaming at all so I don't know how much good it would actually do."
The matron nodded and then retreated back into her office with the hopes that her bed would still retain some of the heat that it had when she had left it. It did get chilly in there with the single panes of glass when winter dropped down onto the castle.
Back in the ward, Lily rolled over and faced the wall at the far end of the room. There were two empty beds between hers and the wall, and the one beside hers was obviously wrinkled. Potter had been sitting on top of the pressed sheets and in his haste to leave, hadn't smoothed out the surface like he usually did every night before leaving. She was exhausted by now, it was unbelievable how much energy it took to try to fish out some of your deepest memories, but she knew she had to get the sheets straightened out. Otherwise when morning came she would be in for a nice long interrogation session.
So up and out of the bed she maneuvered her aching body. It was a small gap she had to cover, but even after as many days as she had been recovering she was still incredibly sore. When she flopped back down on her bed she didn't move for several minutes. Instead she stared up at the ceiling and listened to her breaths. Each one coming in slower than the last as she slowed her heart rate down to a more normal pace.
As much as she demanded that she wanted, no needed to get out into the castle, she now realized that maybe she wasn't really ready. Squeezing her eyes shut she cursed her luck. How long would it take for her to get back to normal, or even into a state where she could just get by? She was on the brink of desperation. Now that she thought about it, how much school had she missed, or was going to have to miss? Maybe she should talk to Pomfrey the next morning about getting her assignments and readings brought up to her so she could try and keep up, or at least not fall so far behind. Her memory after all, was fully functional when it came to school stuff. It was just the personal side that was posing problems.
Yes, that's what she'd do come morning. It would give her something to do and there was no way Pomfrey could limit her from her studies, and maybe, just maybe she'd find something useful in those books or papers that would jog her memory to what she had been doing when she had been hit by the curse. Had she got in the way of something by accident, had somebody tried to hit her on purpose, or was is simply a spell had backfired from her own wand? She hoped the books would enlighten her.
Even if they didn't though, she'd be that much better off than if she didn't crack them. For even if it wasn't a ministry exam year, she still had school exams to write come summer. With that little bit of piece of mind, Lily fell asleep.
Come morning, she explained her idea to Madame Pomfrey, of course leaving out the parts that maybe something had been written in her textbooks that would help her remember what was going on in her life. To her surprise and delight the matron had at first hesitated but then quickly gave in, citing that she couldn't see the harm in allowing a student who wanted to keep up on their studies to do so. She also marvelled though that most students relished every minute they had in the Hospital Wing where they didn't have to go to class. Apparently it had been a long time since a student had requested that the Professors put together study packages.
By the end of the day Lily had her books piled into a teetering stack on the small, rickety table beside her bed. Madame Pomfrey had not allowed Lily to have her entire book back until she had gone through it herself. In the end, Lily had been handed a stack of parchment, two quills and a new bottle of ink and nothing else. For all Lily knew, that was all that had been in her bag, but she had a suspicion that that wasn't actually the case. It was to early for the Professors to have put together packages for her, so with really nothing assigned yet, Lily picked up the first textbook on the stack and flipped to a random page.
Twelve-hundred and fifty-three pages. She sure hoped that the entire book wasn't assigned reading for the course. Before she could get into any details in the book, the door to the wing suddenly flew open and in stumbled three people. Two of them were supporting the third in between them.
Madame Pomfrey jumped up from her desk and raced over and helped the two boys lower the third onto one of the cots.
Lily couldn't help but feel a wave of sadness overcome her. With somebody else occupying the wing, Potter wouldn't be able to sneak in, and she had so much to tell him. It was becoming quite apparent to her, how much she relied on that boy and looked forward to seeing him every night.
At the moment, Madame Pomfrey was busy, so Lily had a feeling she could get away with taking a closer look at who the new occupants were. The one lying on the bed was partially hidden by the bodies, so Lily couldn't make out if she recognized him or not.
But before she could take a look at the other boys who had brought their friend in Madame Pomfrey said, "I have just about had enough of dealing with the consequences of you Marauders."
Marauders! Who were they, that word sounded way to familiar. It was one of those things that once she heard she knew was important, but she would have never been able to come up with it on her own. Apparently in her haste, Pomfrey had forgotten who her other patient was. That was alright for Lily though as she had time to take a look at who the other two boys were.
The one closest to her bed was tall, very tall actually and extremely good looking. She had thought Potter was cute, but this individual was even better. Man if that was just a sampling of what Hogwarts had to offer, she couldn't wait to get back into the normal flow of things. The tall boy had long, dark hair that fell almost to his shoulders and his shoulders were wide and muscular like he had put a lot of effort into making them look that way. Now for his partner, Lily hoped he was just as godly looking as his friend. Lily sucked in a sharp breath that almost caused her to choke when she saw who it was.
The Marauders, Potter, accidents waiting to happen. It all seemed to fit so perfectly together but she still knew she was missing something important. The main thing linking them together was still gone, but she was one step ahead of where she had been only minutes before. So if Potter was a Marauder, but wait, what was a Marauder? And what role did that play in her life? At least if it was one of Potter's cronies, he would still be able to sneak in to see her at night without the other patient ratting him out. That did offer Lily a little bit of comfort, as she had thought the night before she had a lot to tell Potter. If only then she knew what she did now. She had a strong feeling in her gut that this Marauder business was the key to everything. If she could solve that puzzle, everything would suddenly fall into place.
It was only then did Lily realize what with all the commotion she had missed. The voice was back. For so many nights she had been trying to block out its annoying drone, but now she had an idea. She didn't know whose voice it was or what it represented but maybe, just maybe it could help her. If she could stop blocking it out and instead embrace it, maybe it could tell her what she needed to know. Maybe it was there for a reason and was trying to help her get better. It was a long shot, but what did she really have to loose. She was lying in a bed, alone without any real hope of every returning to her normal capacity. Could it really harm her to listen in to a voice she was hearing in her head?
Who was she kidding, this isolation must really be getting to her. Now she was convincing herself that it was a good idea to listen to the voices. She didn't know a lot, but she did know that listening and acting on what a mysterious voice said, never ended well. Was she really that desperate?
As those thoughts and more tumbled through her overworked brain, she couldn't help but see Potter stealing quick glances over in her direction every time he thought the matron wasn't looking, and each time she smiled back. Before he was ushered out of the wing he mouthed to her one word, and that was all Lily needed to keep her going for a few hours longer. He'd be back tonight.
As the rest of the day passed, Lily marvelled at how slowly time could manage to crawl. She had thought the previous days had gone by slowly, but now with the added element of anticipation the hands of the clock had decided that backwards was the new forwards. She didn't even have the new patient to keep her company, because as soon as Madame Pomfrey had finished treating him, she had set up some curtained barriers and cast a combination of spells to keep each of them from interacting.
The books that had at one point held so many possibilities for Lily now lay lifeless on the table. At some point later she'd go back to them, but not now. Not when so many other things were happening. For now she had a decision to make. It was one that the solution to changed just about every ten minutes. Yes, no, good idea, bad one. What should she do? In the end she resolved that she really was out of options and if she was going to utilize a cliché, desperate times called for desperate measures. With that in mind, she resolved that the next time she saw Potter she was going to harness everything she had and try to channel what the voices were saying into some sort of meaningful information. She wasn't crazy right? Right?
xxx
a/n so I'd first like to thank you guys so so so much. It's really been a long time since I've posted a chapter and opened my inbox the next morning to find a ton of new alerts. Reviews, story and so on. It was just amazing and reminded me why I love doing this so much. I was really blown away and I really hope it wasn't just a one time thing. With that in mind I really hope you keep it up and I'm so glad to hear what you guys think, and if I have to be honest I really would have rather gone to sleep tonight but I remembered how much support I got from you and I realized I had to return the favour, so here it is. I hope you enjoyed and please continue to review. Cheers.