Chapter 4

I never believed it could happen to me

Something like this only happens to dumb girls

Taking themselves too seriously

I was so damn smart

I was the one girl

Who never believed it could happen to me

Something like this only happens to somebody else

~ Lucy Woodward, "Dumb Girls"

I was so going to be grilled after school, it wasn't even funny. I'd run away from Edward as soon as the period was over, without so much as a goodbye, and I hadn't waited for Rosalie to come into the locker room, either. I'd skipped my standard after-P.E. shower and thrown my clothes on before sneaking out of the locker room. I'm sure everyone in the hallway who passed me wondered if I was being chased by demons. Well… Alice did sometimes act possessed when it came to boys and fashion. Crap. I was in so much trouble.

I'd forgotten, of course, that I was going to be trapped in a car with Edward, Rosalie, and Alice all the way to Port Angeles after school. Frankly, the thought terrified me. I was suffering from a confusing girl-crush on Rosalie, I had just realized that I was in love with Edward (which was really freaking me out), and I was still more than a little pissed at Alice for just abandoning me for Jasper.

Maybe everyone would just forget about the impromptu trip and leave without me. Oh, I was so desperately hoping for that! I wouldn't even mind my Dad coming to pick me up in the police cruiser from school - something I normally hated. God, are you listening? It's me, Bella. Please, please, take it easy on me today and let my friends forget my existence. I swear I will go to church every Sunday and even volunteer at the local soup kitchen. Please?

"Bella! There you are! Are you ready to go?"

I shook my fist at the sky, but resisted the impulse to give God the finger. It might get zapped off by lightning, or something. What? Trust me, stranger things have happened. I turned and tried to force a smile for Alice, but she stopped skipping and stared at me.

"What's wrong with you?"

"How much time do you have?" I blurted. Damn word vomit! I was going to have to invest in a jar of peanut butter, and make sure I had some in my mouth at all times. You can't talk if your tongue is stuck to the roof of your mouth, right? Of course, it would also be extremely difficult to speak if your best friend has his tongue in your mouth, and - Oh, hell, no! God must really have it in for me now, because my mind is completely flooded with images of Edward and I… and they're not G-rated, if you get my drift. I can feel my face burning with embarrassment, and I am utterly grateful for the fact that the mind reader himself isn't here at the moment, because I'm sure he would totally be onto me.

Shit! I really have to watch my damned euphemisms! I didn't realize I had such a dirty mind!

"Bella, you can talk to me. I'm your best friend, remember?"

"No, you're the friend that deserted me for her boy-toy," I snapped. She looked stricken, and I was immediately contrite. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I just feel like the last two days you've kind of pushed me to the back burner. I get it, new love and all that crap, but it still hurts. We used to do everything together."

"No," she said softly, her bottom lip trembling slightly. "You and my brother have shut me out for the last few weeks. I feel like an outsider - or I did, until Jasper came. Now I'm okay with you guys spending so much time together without me, since I have someone, too."

"Excuse me?" I asked incredulously. "I have not been ignoring you for Edward!"

"Who are you trying to fool, Bella? Me or yourself?" She demanded. "You and Edward are practically joined at the hip! You guys would probably spend the entire day together if your classes didn't interfere. I know you haven't been purposely excluding me, but you've still been doing it." Doing it? I groaned and clutched my head. Stupid dirty mind! She wasn't helping any, either! There was only one conclusion: God hated me.

"What's going on?" Oh Jeebus, this was just getting better and better! Rosalie sauntered up to us and looked from me to Alice, and then back again. Her eyes narrowed. "Are you two fighting?"

"Bella is completely head over heels in love with my brother and is completely in denial about it!" Alice shrieked, gesturing to me.

"Yeah, I know," Rosalie said, her voice perfectly calm. Alice looked at her.

"How do you know?"

"Anyone who looks at them together knows," Rosalie said, shrugging. "So are we going, or what?"

"I'm sorry if I've been ignoring you," I told Alice. My cheeks were so hot, I was sure that everyone within a five mile radius could feel their warmth. "I'll do better."

"I don't want you to stop spending time with my brother," she amended, shaking her head and then leaping on me for a hug that cut off my circulation. "I just want to be with you two more. And Jasper will be with us now, too."

"Hey, Rosie!" Rosalie's eyes widened, and then they narrowed, and her lips mashed into a thin line. Alice and I released each other and exchanged nervous glances. Emmett McCarty was weaving through the parked cars towards us. "Rosie, wait up!"

"I'm not moving, you moron! How can I 'wait up?' And my name's not Rosie, it's Rosalie!" She yelled, turning to glare at him. He didn't look the least bit fazed, and jogged the rest of the distance over to us. I could see that we were beginning to draw a crowd - Jerksica and Lauren and the rest of the cheerleaders were standing a little ways away, watching raptly.

"So do you want to go grab a bite to eat, or what?"

"No, you bumbling oaf, I do not want to grab a bite to eat. I told you that not even ten minutes ago! Have the steroids eaten all of your brain cells?"

"Hey, I don't take steroids," he protested, shaking his head. He leaned in a little bit, like he was about to share a secret, and he spoke with a lowered voice. "They make your … junk fall off."

I couldn't help it; I burst into laughter. Alice's giggles joined with mine. Rosalie just stood there, staring at him for a minute before she collected herself.

"Look," she snapped, jabbing his chest with her perfectly manicured fingernail, "I don't know why you're following me, but you can stop. I am so not interested."

"Why not?" He wondered aloud, frowning at her. "Every girl at this school wants me. Every boy at this school wants you. Logic dictates that we belong together."

"Um, hi?" I interrupted, waving my hand. "Not every girl at this school wants you. I'm pretty sure that Alice and I aren't interested." Alice shook her head no. Emmett rolled his eyes.

"You two don't count."

"Why don't they count?" Rosalie demanded.

"They're nobodies. They don't fit in anywhere. You're the cheerleading captain, and I'm the quarterback of the football team. We belong together." I felt my mouth drop open, and watched as Alice's did the same. We were nobodies? Bite me, jackass! As far as I was concerned, we were rock stars!

"You just insulted my friends," she snapped, clenching and unclenching her fists. "And you're an asshole to boot. Call me when you get a personality and learn how to think for youself!" She turned her back on him and moved towards us. She looped her left arm around Alice's right arm, and her right arm around my left arm, and led us towards the opposite side of the parking lot. I could hear the gossip beginning already, since the cheerleaders obviously had no volume control when it came to their voices.

"That was amazing," Alice said, grinning at Rosalie.

"I think I love you," I blurted. SHIT! Alice and Rosalie both turned their heads to look at me. Alice giggled and Rosalie arched an eyebrow as she smirked at me.

"I didn't know you swung that way, Bella. Is that why you haven't done anything about Edward yet?"

"I…" I didn't know what to say. My mouth was writing checks my butt couldn't cash. Or some crap like that.

"Hey guys." I felt my humiliation rise to epic proportions. Had he heard what I'd just said? Edward jogged over to us and leaned over, resting his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. "What happened back there? Emmett McCarty is practically bawling."

Rosalie looked smug, and Alice giggled. "Rosalie basically told him where to go and how to get there."

"Did you draw him a map, too?" Edward asked, laughing. "With lots of pretty pictures? Because he'll need it." I laughed, and he grinned at me. I'd been thinking the same thing. I told you he had crazy mind-reading skillz.

"It's a shame that he's so stupid," Rosalie said, sighing. She turned and glanced once in his direction, then shrugged as she turned back to us. "He's actually pretty cute. You know, for someone who's head is full of sand. So, where is it that we're going, again? And where is my brother?"

"Jasper's going home to help your dad work on some home improvement project," Alice said, waving her hand dismissively. "He's going to try and get away later if he can, and maybe meet us for dinner. The salon is fantastic - wait until you see it! And Irina is the only manicurist I go to anymore." Alice held her hand up and waggled her nails in front of Rosalie's face.

"That's really beautiful," Rosalie said, grabbing Alice's hand and steadying it to get a good look. "The last manicurist I went to and got acrylics from wound up giving me an infection in the nail on my ring finger."

"Ouch!" Alice gasped, wincing. "That sucks!" Edward and I exchanged eye-rolls. I refused to let anyone come near my nail beds with those little cuticle scissors. I'm sorry, but skin is skin, right? And who wants skin cut off with metal implements (unless you're Freddy Kreuger)? Yuck!

"So," Edward said, straightening up. Alice and Rosalie nattered to each other as they walked ahead of us. He bumped his shoulder against mine. "Feeling better?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, pretending that I didn't know what he was talking about as I fished through my backpack for something - anything - that contained sugar. I was refusing to meet his eyes, feigning ignorance, and searching for a sugary snack. I am a brilliant multi-tasker, what can I say?

"Whatever was making you weird earlier, are you over it?" he clarified. I shrugged and gave up my search, since my backpack was so messy, the effort was completely futile. You know, kind of like the effort it takes to ignore a very pretty, very insistent boy walking next to you and almost-but-not-quite touching your arm with his. Crap. "Bella, resistance is futile, you know that." My head whipped around and I stopped and stared at him. Seriously, how did he do that shit?

"What?" I breathed, my heart beating so hard it felt as though I'd just run a marathon.

"Resisting me is pointless," he repeated, his grin wide. I'm sure I looked like a fish out of water; I could feel my mouth open but couldn't seem to force myself to shut it. "You know you're going to tell me what was wrong." OH. My heart started beating normally again, and I took a deep breath and shook my head.

"I really don't want to talk about it - and believe me, you don't want to hear it."

"Of course I do. I'm interested in everything concerning you. We're buddies, remember?" Buddies. Oh, how I loathed that word right now. Suddenly I wished I was as brave as Rosalie, who seemed to have no trouble expressing herself. I'd love to take Edward's face between my hands and plant a big, wet kiss on those perfectly sculpted gay lips. I snickered a little to myself at the thought of the look he'd have on his face. "Bella?" I turned to find the object of my fantasy frowning at me.

"Hm?"

"Are you sure you're all right? Are you taking some new medication that you haven't told me about?" I rolled my eyes and snorted, and he shook his head.

"Are you two coming with us, or what?" Alice called from her car. I sighed. Rosalie was already sitting shotgun. It figured. Edward and I exchanged a knowing eye roll and climbed into the back of Alice's car - a yellow Porsche that their parents had given her for her sweet sixteen. I personally thought it was interesting that her parents chose yellow, and frequently pointed this fact out to Edward, who in turn told me that his mother chose it because it stood out. Alice kept insisting that she was going to have it painted hot pink, but she hadn't done it yet.

All the way to Port Angeles, Rosalie entertained us with stories about Lauren and Jerksica, which took the pressure off of everyone else - namely, me. I loved Edward both as a friend and more, and now I was starting to feel unsure how to act around him. Normally if I liked a guy, I would attempt to dress up a little bit more than was usual for me, have Alice help me with my hair, and wear lip gloss to draw his eyes to my mouth (hey, it's a known fact that guys think about sex about once every fifteen seconds, or something. Look it up) - but I couldn't do that stuff with Edward. He knew me too well.

So now the question became: what should I do? Should I tell him how I felt, and risk almost certain rejection? Or should I take it to my grave? I was going to be miserable as soon as he started parading his boy toys around me… although honestly it would hurt less to be rejected for a guy than it would be for another girl. Don't ask me why, it was just my warped way of thinking, I guess.

"Bella!" I snapped back into the present and turned to look at Edward.

"What?"

"Have you been asleep with your eyes open this whole time? We're here." He pointed out the window, and I turned to look, surprised to find that we were parked in front of the salon. Oh, ye gods, this was going to suck. I exhaled in a puff of air and got out of the car. "Jeebus, Bella, you look like someone just told you your dog died," he said, laughing. I shot a glare at him.

"When you have to have every hair on your body waxed, plucked, dyed, or cut, then you let me know, okay? It's not exactly the most pleasant feeling in the world." He arched an eyebrow at me, and I narrowed my eyes. "What?"

"What do you get waxed?" He asked, sounding far more interested than he should. I felt my face heating up, and then watched as his cheeks turned red. "Nevermind."

"Come on, Bella!" Alice shrieked, grabbing my hand and pulling me inside. Before I could protest too vociferously, I was shoved into a chair and my highlights were being retouched. I didn't see Edward anywhere in the salon - he was probably across the street at Starbucks, which is where I desperately wanted to be at the moment. Seriously, I would have sold a kidney, or something. Alice was sitting in the chair on my left, and Rosalie was in the chair to my right, and they were chattering over me. I didn't even have my iPod with me to block their babbling out. I was so going to make Alice pay for this.

"So how are things with you and my brother?" Rosalie called over me. I sighed. I hated this crap. Getting all googly-eyed over boys was just not my thing. I mean, sure, I liked to be kept in the know when it came to Alice's relationships, but I didn't need to know anything other than the guy's name. Her crushes were so numerous and over so quickly, it just didn't pay to learn all about the guy, because I knew that in five minutes, he'd be replaced with someone new anyway. I must have sort of zoned out for a while, because the next thing I heard wasn't about Alice or her new boy-toy.

"…and they actually said that?" Alice asked, her voice full of surprise. Seriously, I was going to fall asleep, here. I don't really do gossip, which has always chagrined Alice.

"Yes," Rosalie confirmed, nodding her head once - which I don't think her stylist appreciated, since she sighed loudly. Rosalie ignored her.

"About Edward?" I perked up a little, and sat up a little straighter in my seat. What had I missed?

"Who said what about Edward?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant. Apparently it didn't work, because both girls gave me a look that said 'where the hell have you been for the last twenty minutes?'

"Didn't you hear a word Rose has said?" Alice demanded, frowning. I shook my head.

"You know how I zone out," I whined, wincing when my stylist tugged a little too sharply on a strand of hair she was painting the color on. Alice rolled her eyes and Rosalie sniggered.

"I was just explaining to Alice how Lauren and Jessica have the hots for her brother." I stared at her. I felt my mouth drop open and my eyes widening to epic proportions, but I couldn't help it. Those two hooker-faces wanted my Edward? I'd die first. I'd rip their hair out and feed it to them before they could touch him. I'd gank 'em and throw 'em in the river before they came within a hundred feet of him. I'd-

"BELLA!" I jumped a little as they yelled my name together. I could feel my face turning red (it always felt sunburnt when that happened).

"Jeebus, did you have to yell like that?" I asked, trying to sound angry so they wouldn't know how upset I really was.

"I thought you were going to pass out," Alice remarked, sitting back in her chair. Her stylist had already finished with the highlights, and she was waiting until the chemicals were finished working their magic on her roots. "You went white all of a sudden."

"Anyway," Rosalie continued, waving a hand dismissively. "I had been at school all of twenty minutes before they started to give me a run-down on all of the hottest eligible boys in the school, Junior and Senior class only, of course."

"It is categorically unacceptable to date a younger man," Alice said, nodding wisely. I rolled my eyes.

"Really? What about Jimmy Perkins last year? You were a Sophomore and he was a Freshman."

"I didn't know that when he asked me out!" She shrieked. "He was a transfer student and asked me to go out the day he started school!"

"Anyway," Rosalie snapped. We both turned to look at her. "They listed off that stupid jock McDonald, or whatever his name is-"

"Emmett McCarty," Alice supplied helpfully. The look Rosalie shot her could have melted ice, but Alice didn't seem to notice.

"And your brother was second only to him."

"Seriously? Since when did Edward get catapulted to the top of the social heap? And if he's so desirable, why isn't he more popular?" Rosalie glanced at me once quickly, and then looked back at Alice, who blinked. "Oh.""Oh? Oh what?" I asked, my eyes darting between them. "What aren't you saying, here?"

"Lauren and Jessica basically said that Edward wasn't more popular because of the people he hangs out with," Alice offered, not meeting my eyes. Rosalie sighed.

"What?" I asked, frowning.

"What Alice is trying to say in a nice way is that he's not popular because he's friends with you."

I let that sink in for a minute. Did I want Edward to be popular? More importantly, did Edward want to be popular? He would probably stop speaking to me if he became part of the in crowd. The thought made me feel light-headed, and not in a good way.

But didn't Lauren and Jerksica know that Edward was gay?

I realized I must have asked the question out loud when Alice and Rosalie shrieked at the same time.

"Edward is WHAT?"

"He's not gay!"

"I'm afraid so, girls," I said, my voice sounding steadier than I felt at the moment. "Think about it. He's never had a girlfriend, he cares about the way he looks, he's sweet and sensitive, caring and thoughtful, and he's entirely too pretty to be straight."

"She's got a point," Rosalie said with a thoughtful frown. "A couple of them, actually. But I don't think he's gay. I've seen the way he looks at you."

"He looks at me like a best friend and nothing else," I protested. "I don't even register as a girl to him."

"Are you kidding me?" Alice asked, her face still red from my accusation. "Edward is completely head over heels for you! He's not gay!"

"I think you're wrong."

"I think we need to prove it to Bella that Edward is straight. It's the only way she'll believe the truth," Rosalie said finally.

"What do you suggest? Should we find Edward a girlfriend?"

"Why bother, when the work is already done for us? She's sitting right there. Now we just have to get her to dress up and get him so hot and bothered that he feels like he has to make a move on her, or he'll die."

"Hello, I'm sitting right here," I interjected. I was completely baffled. What was dressing me up going to prove, other than the fact that I couldn't even sit in heels, let alone walk in them?

"That is such a good idea!" Alice squealed, clapping her hands together. "And since we're already here, we can go shopping for her. Ooh, I love a good makeover!"

"Why do I need to be made over?"

"Are you seriously this clueless?" Rosalie asked. She stared hard at me for a minute and then shook her head. "Okay, well, buckle up, Cinder-Bella. You're in for one hell of a ride." She motioned to Alice's stylist, who came running over to us, and then she pointed a manicured nail at me. "She's going to need her eyebrows waxed, she needs a mani-pedi, and she needs her legs and bikini area waxed as well."

"No way!" I shrieked. "I'm not waxing my hoo hoo!" Alice snickered and the scant other few customers inside the salon tittered with laughter as well.

"You want to know once and for all whether or not you have a shot with your best friend?" I hesitated. Oh, God, that millisecond of hesitation cost me, too. "That's what I thought. Now let's get down to business."

"Rosalie," I muttered angrily. She turned to look at me. "I do not love you anymore."