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This fic was originally posted on theforce.net, where I go by the screenname of SaberBlade. If you recognize this, don't worry, it isn't plagiarized; I'm simply reposting it here also.
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General Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and the characters belong to their respective authors. Anything you don't recognize is mine; please respect my muse. I don't intend any infringement with this fic; it was created because I have an abiding love for Star Wars and a wish to share my interpretation of it with the world.
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Details:
Name: Darkness
Time Frame: Post-NJO
Pairing: Kyp Durron and Jaina Solo
Summary: An accident changes Kyp Durron. Better than the summary, I promise, but I can't give too much away.
Rating: PG to PG-13
Post: Post 4 of 4
Story Status: Complete
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As always, reviews are appreciated.
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SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Part IV
*~~~*
He sometimes wondered why he missed the darkness.
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He didn't understand why he found himself standing in darkness even when, had he turned on the light, he would be able to see. He didn't know why he still sought out dark corners to think in when he had been so relieved to finally see again.
His rooms were barren and plain. He immediately reprogrammed the walls to show landscapes, images of space, anything but plain walls and emptiness. He didn't understand how she had been able to live for so long in rooms that were so plain. But maybe because he had lost his sight he understood how precious it really was; maybe to her, plain walls weren't somehow threatening.
But for all that he reveled in seeing things once more, he somehow missed the darkness. Sight, for all the beauty it revealed, was somehow lacking.
He still taught at the Academy, but now he could see his students, and now he began to teach older students. He had taught lightsaber drills for the first time, and the feel of sparring back and forth with his opponent had somehow felt right. He hadn't wanted to spar with her and hurt her, so he had forbid himself from asking her. He had drilled alone, and now he taught those same drills.
He considered taking an apprentice, and decided to wait a time before coming to a decision. She had been his last apprentice; he wasn't sure if he was quite ready to take another after her.
She hadn't gone back to flying. Instead, she stayed on at the Academy, so he saw her sometimes. Her uncle was considering giving her the title of Jedi Master, as he had given to her brother, and asking for her to take on an apprentice herself. He wondered if she would or not. He wondered if she would be a good teacher.
Sometimes he wondered who she considered her Master in truth: her uncle, her aunt, or him. All had taught her, all had formally accepted her as an apprentice. All were proud of who she had become.
He saw her, occasionally, and told himself that he wasn't watching her specifically. But he knew he lied. She was still beautiful, still confident and strong in the Force. But now, to his eyes, she was somehow sad and older, somehow less of herself than she had been before.
He continued teaching the children, though not as often, and sometimes she would come to collect them at the end of his lessons. He would watch her help the littlest ones out, holding hands with them and carrying the small Chandra-Fan to tiny to climb up all the steps on his own. And he would ache somewhere deep inside to see her so close and so far away, seemingly so cheerful but really, to his eyes, so sorrowing.
And one day, things finally settled down and fitted perfectly together. He understood why he missed the darkness.
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He missed her.
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She had been with him when he was in darkness. The darkness lifted and she hadn't been needed, so she had left. And she had cried... Could she miss him?
*~~~*
He sometimes wondered why it took so long for him to go to her.
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"Goddess? Got a minute?"
She looked up even as her students snickered around her at his use of her nickname. They were the in-between students: young enough to remain in the Academy in the group classes, but old enough to feel that they should be out in the world doing great things. Thirteen, fourteen years old.
Just a little younger than her brother had been when he had died. Kyp figured they didn't understand what a blessing the shelter of the Academy could be.
"Sure," Jaina said, tucking her hair behind her ears in a habitual movement Kyp had nearly forgotten. "All right, everyone, you're off to Master Solusar now. And Mitta, if I hear you've Force-pushed anyone else off the stairs, you're going to be assigned to my brother for the rest of your training."
The human girl she addressed looked suitably threatened, and the group of six or so students gathered their belongings and left the room.
Kyp raised an eyebrow. "Jacen's that bad?"
She shrugged. "Jacen thinks a lot. Mitta's not much on thinking. I think she might start begging you, actually, to take her on as an apprentice." A small smile played across her face. "Then again, maybe not. You've- mellowed," she decided.
"Yeah." There was an awkward pause, and Kyp wondered at that. They'd never been awkward around each other. "You've changed," he said abruptly, and her head jerked up. "Something's bothering you."
He knew he had hit the problem when she looked uncomfortable and waved her hand lightly. "It's not a big deal," she said. "I'll get over it."
"Yeah? You're sure?"
"I don't have much of a choice," she said, and managed another weak smile for him.
Hoping he wasn't completely wrong, he stepped closer to her. "What if you did?" he asked softly.
She swallowed- was he making her nervous?- and a slight flush came to her cheeks. "I don't know what you mean."
"What if you didn't have to get over it?"
She stared at him blankly for a minute longer, her beautiful brown eyes unfocused, then she blinked and they cleared. "What?"
"What if I asked you not to get over it?" He took a step closer and took her hands in his. "What if I asked you to stop trying to push it away?"
Her fingers were trembling. "I have to," she whispered.
"Jaina." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead gently. "Almost three years ago, when you came and told me you were staying, you said you'd stay as long as I wanted you to. Remember?"
Her breathing hitched. "Yes. But you're better now, you can see, and-"
"I miss you, Jaina."
Her eyes shone with unshed tears, and he smiled and pulled her close.
"And I still want you to stay."
Her breath came out in a rush, and her arms tightened around him. "I didn't want to leave," she admitted, voice choked. "But you were better, and you didn't need me anymore-"
"I'll always need you. Come back, Jaina."
She was weeping again, but this time, her tears were not from despair. "Why?"
He bent down, tilted her chin with his hand, and kissed her, long and slow. When they finally broke apart, he told her, "Because you put up with me. Because I can talk to you. Because you make the darkness light. Because I love you. Please stay."
She looked dazed. "You- love me?"
He kissed her again. "I love you," he murmured, and brushed away her tears. "Tell me you'll stay."
Jaina blinked back more tears. "Kyp, I love you," she said. "I never wanted to leave."
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And she stayed.
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He no longer feared the darkness. It was once again a reminder to stand in the darkness and move into the light- a reminder that he fell and that he had repented. But more, it was a reminder of what he had lost and what he had gained. She understood, and sometimes she would come and stand with him in silence and darkness. And the darkness was somehow a bit brighter.