Hello to all. Ok I realize now that I made a boo boo with ages and thank you to the person that pointed out--it was rach or jess i just can't remember who but you know who you are so thank you! I didn't change it though cause I'm lazy. No more POV chapters for a while, but you are going to see a little more SVU type stuff with Louise. She is going to be special so pay attention to her! Oh and I decided that Ethan plays the guitar he learned how somewhere in that 5 years that I didn't write about. So enjoy this next year my friends and thanks for the Reviews they make me sooooo happy.

Tears and Smiles

Olivia listened to her oldest son that evening setting on the porch. He was strumming on his guitar and it sounded sad and lonesome. "He sounds so sad." she commented to her husband.

"I know but these are one of the things that a young man has to go through in his life." Elliot said. He wished there was something that he could do but there wasn't. This was a struggle that Ethan would have to face on his own.

"Still isn't there some way that we could help him?" Olivia asked as she washed the dishes and listened to the sound of the guitar. Even Katie felt the sadness in the music.

She came to her mother and clutched her skirts, "Ma!" she cried. "Tell Etan to not play such sad music."

"Katie, sweetie, go to Pa for now. Ma is busy." Olivia said. She had thought that the twins had been bothersome but Katie always seemed to need or want something. "Elliot take Katie, she's been fussing all day and Ethan's music is just making it worse."

"Come here Katie." Elliot said. He picked his daughter up and snuggled her into his shoulder. "It's ok sweetie. Ethan just misses Emily."

"Emily?" Katie asked. "Where did she go?"

"To a big city." Elliot replied.

Ethan sat on the porch slowly strumming let his music say the things that he knew that he never could. The things that he knew he would never be able to say to his parents or to Emily. He had wanted to tell her so badly this morning that he loved her and wanted her to stay. Instead he had stood there stupidly holding that little boquet of flowers the last of the year. Now he sat in the chilly evening on his porch strumming on his guitar. He wished that Emily was a mind reader so that she could just look at him and know what he was thinking and feeling. His parents seemed to be able to do that. Or he wished he was like the twins or Katie they didn't seem to have trouble expressing themselves. He stopped strumming and went into the house. His Ma was finishing up the dishes and his Pa was setting rocking Katie. She looked at him with big brown eyes over their Pa's shoulder. "Etan, will you play a song?" she asked.

"Sure little one." Ethan said. "What would you like me to play?"

"Pop goes the wesel." Katie said.

"Ok. Only one time though because you have to go to bed." Ethan said. He knew his sister loved the song because she liked the way that Ethan could make the strings on the guitar pop like a weasel popping his head out of a hole. Every time he did she would squeal with delight. Ethan played the song and Katie was happy. When he finished she got down out of Elliot's lap and came to Ethan.

"Thank you Etan." She said. "Night Pa. Night Ma. Night Etan." She kissed her big brother and then went to her room.

"Night Katie." Ethan said.

"Good night sweetie." Elliot said. "I'll be up to tuck you in soon."

"Ok Katie, lets go get changed for bed." Olivia said. She followed her daughter up the stairs and out of the room, leaving Elliot and Ethan alone.

"Are you alright son?" Elliot asked, quietly.

"Yes Pa." Ethan said.

"That music from outside sounded awful solemn tonight." Elliot replied.

"I was just wishin' Pa. Wishin' I would have said some things that I didn't. Now I have to wait two years to say them."

"Well they say absence makes the heart grow fonder." Elliot said. "I know I had some things that I wished I had said to your Ma before she died. I've never told anyone this, but your Ma and I weren't on the best of terms when she passed on."

"What do you mean Pa?" Ethan asked. He had thought that his Pa and real Ma had had the perfect marriage.

"Well we had a fight that morning before she died. I-I found out that the baby your Ma was carrying, well it wasn't mine. I can guarantee that my marriage to her wasn't anything like my marriage to Olivia." Elliot told him.

"Well I." Ethan stopped. "Pa if I tell you this you won't tell another living soul will you?"

"You have my word."

"I love her Pa. I love Emily and she left and while I miss her, I'm also mad at her Pa. I'm mad that she left me to go to Philadelphia when she could have stayed here with me." Ethan said, tears in his eyes. It was the first time in a good many years that he had cried, at least in front of his Pa.

"Well you know son." Elliot began. "You really never had any claim on her." Elliot hated to point that out to his son when he was in such obvious pain but he knew that it had to be done.

"You think I don't know that Pa!" Ethan nearly shouted, then he remembered that Katie and the boys were asleep upstairs. "I wanted to court her Pa, I did but she had so many damned suitors that there was no way I could get a chance. And she always looked to me as her friend, I was always just her friend." The tears flowed freely now as he told his father all the things that had been jumbled up inside him for so long.

Elliot went to his son and wrapped his arms around him. "Let it out son." Elliot said.

Olivia came down the stairs then and watched as Elliot comforted their son. She stayed in the shadows until Ethan's tears subsided and he had wiped his eyes. Then she came down. "Everyone up stairs is all tucked in and asleep."

"That's good." Elliot said.

"Well I'll be turnin' in now Pa and Ma." Ethan said. He kissed his mother and went up the stairs.

Elliot and Olivia didn't say anything to each other. Elliot knew that Olivia had witnessed Ethan's breakdown and he also knew that he didn't have to tell Olivia anything because she already knew.

Emily was getting tired of setting on the train but it was a little better thanks to Louise. They had quickly become friends and had shared bits and pieces of their lives. Only Emily was sure that there was something that Louise was leaving out and she certinaly knew that she was leaving out the part about Ethan. She just couldn't talk about him right now. She thought about him though. His smile, his laugh, how he adored his younger siblings, and his eyes.

"What are you thinking about?" Louise asked her. Emily was quickly learning that Louise was very forthright and came out and said what she thought and felt.

"Someone from back home." Emily replied.

"A boy?" Louise asked. Her green eyes shining.

"No." Emily said and smiled.

"You are too." Louise said. "You know I only ever loved one boy."

"Oh. Is he the father of your child?" Emily asked.

"No." Louise said. "He died with the fever a couple of years ago."

"I'm sorry." Emily said. "That must have been very hard for you."

"It was." Louise said. "I think that I can trust you so I will tell you about this baby."

"Alright." Emily said. She laid her hands in her lap and turned towards her new friend. "Go ahead."

"It was about four months ago. I was walking home from town when this man came out along side of the road. He grabbed me up quicker than you could blink an eye and pulled me back into the bushes with. Once there he forced himself on to me. I couldn't fight him off, he was too big and to strong. Then a couple months ago I started getting sick in the morning. My Ma took me to the doc in town and he said that I was pregnant. My parents weren't to happy. I tried to tell them what happened but they didn't believe me. That was when they decided to send me away. They brought me to Rock Springs and put me on the train today and here I am."

Emily took her new friends hand, "It's ok Louise. I will help you once we get to Philadelphia. I am sure that I can get my aunt to give you a job in the shop and you can have your baby and then you will come back to Rock Springs with me when I go back."

"What about my baby?" Louise asked. She didn't know why but she wanted to keep her child even though he or she hadn't been concieved under the best of circumstances. "It may sound crazy but I want to keep him or her."

"I understand. That is why we are going to tell my aunt that you were married and your husband died with the fever, leaving you alone and pregnant. I'll tell her we met on the train and that you were going to give your baby up for adoption but I convinced you not to. Then when I go home I'll find you someplace to work in Rock Springs. You'll never need your family again, Louise." Emily said, her blue eyes shining as she took Louise hands in her own.

"Oh thank you Emily. I appreciate that, I appreciate that so much." Louise said.

The girls fell asleep after that and when they awoke they awoke to a bustling depot. They were in Philadelphia.