Maura's sitting in her office at her desk and is trying to focus on finishing the autopsy report of Jill Masterson, but she hardly can concentrate after what had happened in her kitchen and in Jane's car.
She knew that Jane behaved strangely when Ben was around and that the detective always refused to join them in the Dirty Robber. She first didn't understand why, but now she starts to understand. She could see it in Jane's eyes this morning . Maura's asking herself why exactly now her best friend allows those feelings to bubble up at the surface.
Now, that she's finally happy with a great man. Would have Jane told her two and a half years ago how she's truly feeling for her, Maura have had wrapped her arms around the Italian's neck and admit her own feelings she was having. But now she's feeling those things for someone else, for her husband Ben. And she can't change it now, can she?
Maura looks down at her wedding band and a tear runs down her cheek. She jumps a little when someone is knocking on the closed office door and wipes the tear off of her cheek. She takes a deep breath to compose herself again. She's expecting either Susie with the blood results or Jane who tries to explain herself. "Come in."
The door opens and Angela Rizzoli sticks her head in. "Am I interrupting you?"
Maura swallows hard and forces herself to smile. "No, not at all, Angela. I was just about to finish a report. So, what brings you down here?"
The matriarch enters the blonde's office, two paper cups in her hands and a deep frown on her forehead. "You didn't stop by when you came to work like you normally do. So, I thought I could come down. But I wasn't sure what you would like to have. So, I brought you a coffee and a tea."
Maura has to smile now for real. That's what she's loving about the older Rizzoli. She licks her lips and points at the cup in Angela's left hand. "I take the tea. I can need that."
Angela hands the ME the tea and looks long at her. "Maura, is everything alright? You look a little pale today."
The ME sips her tea and nods once. "Yes, everything is fine. The morning was just a little stressful."
"Did Ben and you fight?"
"No. No, Jane and I had a fight."
"Oh." Angela says and is sitting down on one of the chairs in front of Maura's desk. "What did the two of you fight about?"
Maura takes a deep breath and raises briefly her eyebrows. "Ben." She simply answer.
Angela is holding her breath and stares at Maura. She has witnessed the lingering touches and eye contacts and she had assumed that there would be much more going on between the two women than they admitted. She wouldn't have minded it at all as long as her daughter would finally be happy. She has known for a while that Jane is into women, though her daughter has never admitted it. Or at least she hasn't admitted it to her old mother. However, she had thought that Maura is in love with Jane as well, that's why she was token by surprise when Maura introduced Ben to her. She actually thinks that Ben is a good man, but not good enough for Maura. Anyway, Angela had decided to keep her opinion about the prosecutor for herself. It's one thing to blurt something like that out to your own flesh and blood, another when you do so to a woman who always has been supportive even she don't has to. And she knows by now that sometimes it's better to mind her own business. Especially after Maura was so adamant that she's staying in the guest house, and that Ben had agreed to that. But Angela also had the opinion that their engagement and the wedding came pretty fast, and by judging her daughter's face, her daughter had the same opinion. But she also knew that Jane had the expression because her daughter is in love with the ME.
And judging from Maura's current conditions, Angela knows that Jane has done something incredibly stupid. "What has Jane done now?"
Maura opens her mouth to answer the older woman's question as Susie appears in the door with an folder in her hand. Maura put her professional mask back on. "Are these the results I was waiting for?"
Susie nods once and enters the office. "Yes," she says and hands the ME the file. "You really should look at it, Dr. Isles."
Maura looks questioningly at the younger woman and opens the folder, taking a look at the blood results. She furl her eyebrows and look back up at Susie. "That can't be right. Have you double-checked it?"
Susie nods once again. "Yes, twice."
Maura gets slowly up from her chair. "It is absolutely impossible that I have missed that." She pauses glance at Angela. "We continue this conversation later?"
Angela nods agreeing and get up from her own chair. "Yeah, of course."
The blonde smiles weakly and disappears from the office.
Angela takes a deep breath and shakes her head as she leaves Maura's office, too.
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Jane is standing at the shooting range and is emptying one clip after another. She really was hoping that this would release some of her stress and clear her mind, but instead of that she's feeling even more angry. If she would be here alone she probably would have thrown her gun at the targets, but happily she isn't alone and that's why she doesn't make a fool out of herself. She is about to reload her gun with the next clip when she spot Maura's figure in the corner of her eye. She put her ear protectors down and turns her whole body to her friend. "Hey."
Maura doesn't smile or greet the Italian back, she just hands Jane the file. "I missed something during my first examination."
Jane furrow her brows and opens the file. "Not possible." All of a sudden her eyebrows are shooting up. "Jill Masterson was pregnant?"
Maura nods once and sighs heavily. "But there were no signs that she gave birth and there was no fetus or embryo in her uterus."
"Perhaps a c-section?" The Italian asks and looks briefly at the doctor. "And you are absolute sure about this? That Jill was pregnant."
Maura rolls annoyed her eyes. "Already a few days after the fertilization of the female body, it begins to produce human choronic gonadatropin. It is therefore often referred as classic pregnancy hormone because it is often detectable after only a short time in the urine. Therefore commercially pregnancy tests are checking the MCG to find out if a woman is pregnant or not. The MCG is produced in the tissue of the later developed placenta. The MCG level reach its peak at the end of the first trimester, Jane."
Jane rolls her eyes as well and sighs. "Fine, you win. But when she was pregnant, where's the baby? And who the hell is the father?"
Maura simply shrugs. "There probably was a termination."
"Extirpated?"
"There are no signs for that. Most likely medicinally. But the tox screen was clean. When the abortion was initiated medicinally we can't prove it anymore."
Jane stares thoughtfully at the data in front her and frowns. "Perhaps her kidnapper and rapist was the father and he ... destroyed all evidence. Is it hard to abort a baby with meds?"
Maura takes a deep breath and tilts her head slightly to the side. "There are several ways. There is Mifepristone. The abortion pill Mifepristone is an alternative to the surgical procedure. The pill leads to the death of the fruit and miscarriage. It's used for abortions up to the 7th to 9th week of pregnancy. The pregnant woman takes three pills of Mifepristone to chemically block the body's natural hormone Progesterone. The drug causes that the cervix will open and that the lining of the uterus and the fruit bag detach. The nested in egg in the uterus will be repelled."
Jane rubs her left eyebrow with her fingers and sighs. "Is it painful?"
"I wouldn't recommend it," Maura replies clinically. "The procedure take up until fourteen days."
"What else ..." Jane says and looks into cold hazel eyes. "Dr. Isles."
Maura's face is hard and unreadable. "You hold my report in your hand, Detective Rizzoli." She replies and turns to leave again.
Jane growls low and grabs the ME at her elbow, pulling at it so their bodies are flushed together.
Maura gasps surprised and a chill runs down her spin as she looks up into brown eyes.
Jane has to swallow hard as she notice how perfect their bodies are fitting together. "Look, I'm sorry for what I've said this morning. I didn't want to upset you."
Maura's holding the Italian's gaze, but then her eyes drop for a single second to Jane's lips. She takes a step backwards and licks her own lips. "I have to go back to work. I still have a lot to do."
"Maura - -" Jane sighs heavily.
"Bye, Jane." Maura cuts her off and disappears again.
Jane sighs once more and closes her eyes, running an hand through her hair. Once she made a promise to herself. That she would never hit on a married woman, especially after what she has witnessed what cheating can do to a woman ... or in this case a man. She has seen how broken her mother was after her father has left her for his bimbo Lydia. But somehow she knows that she would throw all her good intentions over board if that's how she can be with the ME . And for that she's hating herself pretty much. She wouldn't hesitate when Maura would want that, not a second. She knows that Maura likes Ben, perhaps even love him, but they don't share the same chemistry like Maura and she are sharing. She shakes her head and holster her gun. "Fuck," she grumbles as suddenly a thought crush her mind. All of a sudden she has the thought that there has to be another reason why Maura suddenly is taking her distance, besides her dislike for Ben. Maybe Maura is trying to tell her something but doesn't know how. Jane starts to sprint down the hallway and catch up with Maura at the elevator. "Maura!"
The ME turns around as she hears her name and clench her teeth as she spots the detective.
Jane stops abruptly in front of the smaller woman and takes a deep breath. "Is there something you wanna tell me?"
Maura scoff and glares at Jane. "That actually should be my question, Jane."
Jane is more than confused and frowns. "Why wou - Maura, are you pregnant?"
Maura surprised tuck in her chin and searches brown eyes. "Would that be so bad for you when I am pregnant, Jane?"
Jane shakes her head and furrow her brows. "No, not at all, Maura. I know that you want have children. I really would be happy for you. It's just -"
"That you can't stand Ben," Maura cuts her off and laughs bitterly. "You might don't like him, but I do love him, Jane."
Jane grit her teeth and swallows her growl. "Do you? Do you really love him, or is it just an act of desperation because Ma always says none of us is getting an younger? Because ... because your husband is handsome, but he isn't enough for you. And you never bothered yourself with someone who wasn't enough for you. I mean, Ben most likely doesn't know what you are talking about when you start with your fun facts, but he pretend that he know what you are talking."
"Isn't that what you do, too, Jane?" Maura counter.
"Yes, that's what I do, too." Jane admits with an high-pitched voice and shrugs. "But I am honest enough to ask you for the translation when I have no idea what you mean. How many ... how many times did you testified at Ben's trails and he always looked at you like a lost child, but instead of taking the time to ask what all those things you have talked about are meaning. He instead flirted with you and you got distracted by his ... nice smile and his shiny blue eyes. I mean, if you really want this kind of man you also could have married Tommy."
Maura huffs and shakes her head. "Really? Now you're acting that way just because Ben isn't that ... fast sometimes?"
Jane growls low. "You know that I don't care about anyone's IQ points. I would give a shit if he would be Albert Einstein 2.0 or as smart as a chimp. I just want you to be happy."
"I'm happy, Jane." Maura replies a little louder.
Jane looks long at the ME and knows that her attempt to apologize has failed, and that she probably should turn around now. "Are you sure? Are you sure about that? Because you looked even happier with Dennis the serial killer."
"How dare you," Maura hisses and scowl at the Italian.
Jane is finally swallowing her pride and takes a step forward. "I love you, Maura. I love you from the bottom of my heart, and not just as my friend."
Maura is more than grateful that the elevator finally arrives and steps into it. She turns to the detective and a tears runs down her cheek. "It's too late, Jane. You've missed your chance."
Jane wants to step into the elevator cab but the door of it is closing in the same time as she says the ME's name.
She growls and slams her fist full force against the metal door. She's quite aware that she complicated the whole situation even more.
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Korsak looks up when he hears Jane's step sequence. "Brian's alibi is solid as a rock," he says as the Italian enters the bullpen, it doesn't say a word.
Frost us standing at the coffee maker and frowns. "Todd's alibi is watertight as well."
Jane sighs heavily and flops down in her chair. "Jill was pregnant, but Maura thinks that a miscarriage was caused by meds. I think we're looking for a rapist with medical knowledge."
"You think the baby was a unintended evidence?" Frost asks.
Jane shrugs and sips her water. "I think that he thought that he was thorough, but then Jill turns out to be pregnant. He needed to get rid of all kind of DNA."
"That could mean that he is in the system already," Frost states. "But the problem is that Maura wasn't able to get any foreign body fluids from Jill's body."
"Because he learned that he can impregnate a woman though he rapes them." Korsak says and shakes his head. "Which makes him incredibly stupid or he's just new in this business, or it's a part of his torment, what worries me even more."
Jane takes a deep breath and stares at the glass board. She doesn't like any of the ideas because then they would be just at the beginning of a series. And they have absolutely no clue where to start. She gets up from her chair and runs an hand through her hair. "I call it a night. I'm sorry that I wasn't really productive today."
Frost looks after Jane and frowns. "When Jane would be a dog I would shoot her to end her misery."
Korsak just sighs and gets up from his chair. He's afraid that the Italian will do that on her own and that's why he's dialing a number.
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Jane is sitting on her couch and mull over the case but she more interested in her open beer right now. She frowns deeply when her apartment door opens. "Ma," she whines and leans back in her couch, sipping her beer.
"Jane?"
Jane choke on her drink and jumps up to her feet when she hear Maura's voice. "Maura?"
The blonde looks long at the detective and enters the apartment. "I tried to call you, but you didn't pick up and I got worried."
Jane runs a hand through her hair and frowns slightly."Yeah, I was going through my notes and left my phone in my bedroom. I don't need any distraction right now."
"Okay, then." Maura says and wants to turn around again. "I'm going to leave you alone, we were just worried."
Jane growls low and takes a step forward. "Come on, you know I didn't mean it like that. Please, stay." She can see that Maura relax and points to her kitchen. "Do you wanna drink something? I still have the wine you brought."
Maura pull off her coat and hangs it on the coat tree, just like her purse. "You still have it because you still don't drink wine. And yes, I would like to have a glass."
Jane has to smile a little and walks into her kitchen. She gets an glass out of the hanging kitchen cabinet and pours a glass of wine while she's watching her best friend closely. She hasn't noticed how perfect Maura's anthracite grey dress hugs her at all the right places and how it's highlighting the blonde's hair and complexion. She's catching herself wondering how it would feel to unzip the said dress, trailing kisses over the blonde's skin, what kind of noises it would pull from Maura's throat. And she's asking herself if that skin taste as delicious as it looks like. A chill runs down the Italian's spine and she has to close her eyes to compose herself again. Jane knows that this is the worst timing for such thoughts. When she's alone it doesn't matter, but not when Maura's here and mad at her. She clears her throat and swallows the lump before she walks over to her couch. She hands the ME the wine and sit down next to her. "I thought you have a date tonight."
Maura sips the wine and licks her lips. "Ben had to cancel last minute and I wasn't really in the mood for it either."
"I'm sorry," Jane mumbles and takes a swig of her beer. Under normal circumstances Jane would suggest that she get dressed so the two of them still could go to that fancy French restaurant. But she knows that this would be more than inappropriate after their disagreement in the morning and after her love confession. That's why she's shutting her trap now. She knows Maura isn't here just because she doesn't want to be alone and that's what makes the Italian a bit uncomfortable. She knows that her façade has started to crumble bit by bit and there aren't many excuses anymore that she could come up with.
"Jane, what is going on?" Maura is breaking the silence that has settled over them and frowns slightly. "You are acting strangely since the last two years and you start to worry me. I mean, you haven't seen anyone since ... I started to date Ben. There has to be the right woman out there for you."
Yes, that would be you. But I can't have you because you are married to a dumbass named Ben, Jane is thinking to herself and turns her head to Maura. "I told you why I can't see anyone else, Maura. I can't get you out of my head because you're like a ghost that's haunting me day and night." She hold her hands up when she notice Maura's disapproving look. "I don't know when it started, Maura. I don't know when I started to feel the way I do, and I know I shouldn't feel that way because we are best friends and now you are married. And I know I shouldn't have told you because you are married. I am sure I would have get over it with time. But I don't get the chance to try it because everytime I go you are there already. In my dreams, at work, at my apartment. And then you said to me that I missed my chance. How am I supposed to get over my feelings for you?"
Maura looks at her hands and licks her lips again. She didn't want to have this conversation right now but it seems like there is no other way. "I don't know, Jane, but you have to. You have to get pass those feelings for me."
Jane nods slowly and wipes her nose with the back of her hand, sniffling. "Would it have changed anything when I would have admit my feelings for you." She asks. She has to. She has to hear the devastating answer to know that to keep her mouth shut was the best decision. She needs to know that Maura hasn't the same feelings for her anymore or that she never had the same feelings.
Maura takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. "Jane - -"
The Italian frowns deeply and places her on her knees, leaning forward. "Maura, just answer the question, please."
Maura doesn't look at her friend because she can't and because she is afraid her eyes would give her away easily. That they give Jane the answer that the Italian is longing to hear, and the feelings she's afraid to admit. "I don't know, Jane. I don't know if it would have changed anything. I love Ben."
Jane nods slowly and frowns slightly. Normally a statement like this would have convinced her, but she knows that Maura is holding something back and that she needs to know that it is, she has to know. "Could you at least look at me when you say that to me?"
Maura is licking her lips again and sighs heavily, unable to meet chocolate brown eyes yet. She knows if she's looking at Jane now the Italian would see what she's feeling deep down in her heart, and she knows that she can't that to Ben, Jane or to herself. And she also knows that at least two hearts will break. She rather see herself unhappy than Jane or Ben, she cares too much for both of them. She turns away from her friend and forces her tears back.
Jane furrow her eyebrows and place an hand on Maura's shoulder. "Maura?"
Maura straightens up her back and takes a deep breath. She has to end this right here and right now. "I ... I have to go." She says and gets up to her feet.
Jane is off the couch in no time and frowns deeply. "Don't do this, Maura. Please. Don't turn your back on me. I don't wanna lose you as my friend."
Maura takes a deep breath. "It's late and I just wanted to check on you because Vince was worried that you would do something stupid."
Jane is freezing and frowns. What the hell was he thinking? That she would swallow her gun just because she had a bad day. Normally she would growl, snarl or even throw her empty bottle against the wall, but for that would be time later. Right now she has to make sure that Maura know that she'll survive the heartbreak, that she will get through it. And that she will not lose Maura as her friend. That Maura still can rely on her. "Maura - - -" She croaks.
Maura is shaking her head as she gathers her belongings. "I have to go home to my husband," she whispers.
"Maura - -" Jane tries again, but the blonde is out of the Italian's apartment without a last goodbye. Jane closes her eyes and a tear runs down her cheek. "Damn it." She growls low.