"No", she answered calmly. "sorry I can't. You have so much ahead of you. All I'll bring you are broken promises and a broken heart." Everything was going to be different. It would all change for the worst. Ally was tired and wanted to cuddle with him all night but she also wanted to run and hide like she always did. Yet again being a dumb ass she chose option two. "I should have never done this. I'm sorry I have to go." slowly moving away Austin wrapped his arms around her body pulling them close. Deep down she was relieved because she was extremely sore.

"Ally I'm never letting you go. I finally got you and you want to leave. No, you can't. You mean to much to me. I don't understand why you keeping trying to run and hide for everyone else's sake. Do something for yourself. Ally stop considering my worries and do what you want. Tel me Ally, what do you want?" Ally held back more tears and stayed strong. She didn't know what was right.

"Austin. I love you more than life itself but these things you ask from me will never happen. I don't have time for kids, anniversaries, or even marriage. I could have years or months I don't know. My disease is progressing to my kidneys and it has caused damage. If it gets much worse my kidneys will fail. Then ill have to have dialysis or a transplant. Theses things don't always work. So again sorry no." she got the courage to stand up and get dressed. Before she walked out she looked at him one more time. He grabbed for her hand but she shrugged him off and left him broken hearted yet again.

Ally had considered other alternatives before like ending it with pills or a knife. But she didn't really know if this was going to kill her so she didn't want to end it just yet. She hated herself she had done it again. She left Austin alone to suffer. Tomorrow she would convince him to move on. But how? Deep down she knew she couldn't do that. It would only end up worse for him. There is know telling what he would do because they never actually promised anything. Ally had said no to his part of the deal so she figured it canceled hers as well. She could move away but that's the same pain.

Once she was out of Austin's house she started to cry again. "Why? Why me, huh God? I know your not supposed to ask why but I'm sick of playing this game. All I do it hurt people." her rant her turned into full fledge scream. She didn't care who heard or what they thought. "Everyone I love have to sit here and wait. Wait and watch not knowing what will happen will we going out or will they be burying me. But I guess that is just all apart of your game you call life. Well are you happy? You are winning. Then again you are the only who ever wins. No one dies a virgin in this world because they all get fucked in the end anyway. Maybe I am done with being a toy. I think I'll end it tonight! This time for real though. I won't chicken out again but don't worry we won't spend eternity together because I plan on going to hell with the rest of the sinners." little did she know she had done this not far from Austin's house and he was right behind her hearing every word she had said. Taking a breath she went to walk away but heard someone behind her. Only to turn and reveal to herself the one and only Austin Moon.

"Ally what did you mean? Are you going to kill yourself?" Austin couldn't believe his ears. He had had enough. "Are you crazy? You have made it this far and even you said it you could still have years or could even get better. Why would you just give up? Have you tried before?"

"I once took a whole bottle of Tylenol but gagged myself and puked them up immediately. I was to chicken then. It was before I hurt you. Twice. It seems all I do it hurt everyone around me. I Figured I could end it now before it got worse."

"Ally don't you realize killing yourself would make it worse. I do not want to give up on you. But you have to stop pushing me away. Stop considering what's best for me and do what's best for you. How many times do I have to tell you this before it finally registers. You are the sick one but what you are doing is killing me! Do you understand?" Austin looked agitated.

"I'm sorry. I'll try I really will but only if you stop planning this huge future for us. I might make it or I might now. Either way I don't want to plan and get either of our hopes up. Lets just stick with three simple words. Okay?"

"Okay only for now though." Adding a smile to his face Austin said, "And by the way what three words would you be preferring?"

"Oh don't be a smart ass you know what they are. And if you ever want to kiss me again you better figure it out." she smiled.

" I think you might give first. I have heard I am pretty irresistible. Some might even say perfect."

" I think who ever they are lied." with that she licked her lips and moved closed to him and pressed their bodies together. Raising her hand she drew circles on his chest sending electricity with every touch. He leaned down trying to brush his lips across hers but instead she moved her head and his lips met her cheek. His eyes flew open to see her smirking and running back into the house ready for another round. Austin did not argue and yelled after her, "I love you." then took off to join her inside.

A little over and hour had passed and they lay in each others arms just thinking about what could come. Could he still do this in 50 years or did he only have 5 years. Either way she was here now and that was enough for him.

2 MONTHS LATER

So far Ally was still there. Though her condition had gotten worse she was still with them. Today she had another appointment. Austin had starting going with her after he found out but today her had to go to Starr Records and when he tried to cancel on Jimmy Ally wouldn't let him. "Austin I will be fine. You need to go. Its just another check up Go record another hit." she smiled and gave him a quick kiss pushing him out of Sonic Boom. She knew she was getting worse and that today it wouldn't be good news because lately she was even more tired. Ally just couldn't let Austin miss another day at the studio. Because of her he had missed three days already and she knew Jimmy would not just let that slide.

Trish had a job interview today so she didn't ask her and Dez did not even like hearing about her disease so he was out. And her dad was covering her shift so she could go this meant she was on her own. Ten minutes later it was time to head over to her appointment. "Dad! I'm leaving be back as soon as I can."

Her dad came down the stairs and took her place at the counter. Without saying a word he waved her goodbye and tended to a customer. Ally still held guilt for what she puts everyone through but her and Austin had discussed it and she wasn't allowed to dwell on those thoughts anymore. But no matter how much he asked her not to she still did. She couldn't help it, it was really all she thought about. Ally tried to think of other things and sometimes she could but it would always come back.

Before she knew it she was in front of her doctors office. It looked like any other office. Old magazines, sick people, and that particular smell. After signing in she sat down and waited. After 20 minutes of nothing her phone bored her so she grabbed magazine. On the front of one of the pages was Austin Moon. This brought a smile to her face. She was so happy her got the fame he always wanted. Without her it may have never happened and that made her realized this was all worth it. He got his dream and hopefully the girl of it too. After reading the article the elderly nurse came out calling, "Ally Dawson"

Ally got up and took a breath before she started to walked. Standing up she was actually winded. Going threw the mandatory steps she sat on a bed after giving a urine test. Ally was joined by the nurse and she asked normal questions. Then she asked a new one. "Are you sexually active?" This took Ally by surprise but she answered. "Yes mam." She responded shyly.

"There is nothing to be ashamed of or scared about. It's a very natural thing. We just need to know in to warn you about pregnancy and so we can look out for that. In your case getting pregnant can be very dangerous for the child. Just use protection and be careful. Okay the doctor will be in soon." she smiled and left.

Ally felt as if she was hit with a ton of bricks. How could she be so stupid? They had not used protection the first two times they had sex. But what were the odds she would get pregnant. She checked her calendar on her phone only to remember she had deleted that app to get a better one. Only she never got a new one. She tried to remember her last period. It had been so long she could not remember. When Dr. Danes entered she hid her worries and let him finish the examination.

Once she left she ran to the nearest drug store and bought four pregnancy test. Instead of going back to Sonic Boom she called her dad and told him nothing had changed and made an excuse saying she was tired and needed some rest asking him to cover the rest her shift. He kindly accepted and told her to get plenty rest. She ran home which was a bad idea because when she got there she couldn't breath and almost collapsed. Finding the strength she went straight to her bathroom and took two. She would take the other two in the morning. Ally had heard they are more accurate then.

Two minutes felt like two day but soon her phone went off and two pink lines shown on each stick verifying her worst fear. She broke down and cried until she couldn't cry anymore. From constant crying she started heaving and then choking and then throwing up. Luckily she got it in to toilet. Don't look down came on notifying her Austin was calling. Knowing she couldn't hide her tone she pressed the ignore button. She doesn't remember much but falling asleep on the floor.

Austin tried calling Ally to see how her appointment went and wanting to hang out but then it stop ringing. That meant she ignored it. Why would she ignore her boyfriends call. That scared him so he tried her dad and said she went home so he drove straight from Starr Records. It was a good thirty minutes away and with the lunch traffic it was even longer. What if something happened to her is all her could think.

It had been 45 minutes since she fell asleep so she decided to clean up a bit. She bagged up the boxes and tied them up. Then she threw that bag in the trash in the kitchen. She grabbed to tests and hid them in her sock drawer. Right after finishing brushing her teeth and pressing Austin's number to him someone knocked at the door. Hard yelling her name. She ran to open it to see a flustered Austin standing there.

"Austin what's wrong? Are you okay?" she was worried.

"I should be asking you that. I was so worried when you ignored my call. I knew you had the appointment today and when you didn't answer I thought…maybe you did something rash after some bad news." she didn't realize at the time what ignoring his call would do. She had to lie. After many small lies about what she was thinking or how she felt she had gotten better at it.

"Oh sweetie I'm so sorry I didn't mean to do that. After the appointment I was just a little tired so I came her to nap. I guess the call woke me but left me groggy so I didn't realize what I was doing. I'm sorry for worrying. And no news could make me do something so rash that I would want to leave you any sooner than I have too. I promise. I love you." she hugged him and he clung tight almost painful. "No I'm sorry I should have never over reacted. I should know better. I love you too." he said into her hair. She squeezed her eyes shut because now she really hated herself more than ever.

She was now responsible for yet another life. She wished now more than ever that she would have killed herself the moment she found out about her disease.