A/N: Yup. Bored again. This chapter takes place sometime before chapter 14. AND YAAAAAAAAAAY! I'm now a sophomore~! School started and... *faints* yup, I'm definitely spent.
Warning - This page contains excessive swearing, crude humor, minor sensuality and pissed! Teto.
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Teto's Blog Rant
Stupidest Things I've Accomplished
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;D
Login: Teto Kasane
Password: breadandted
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Welcome, Teto Kasane!
9:30 PM
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(I'm sick. This time for real... Gahhh. I never should've danced nude running around in the rain. Even though I was happy to finally finish Tokyo Mew.)
So. Guys.
Straight hair ticks me off.
Yeah. I'm hella proud of my rich curls no one else can pull off. I'm hella sexy with them. Just imagine my flowing dark curls bouncing as I run up to you, batting my eyes at you. Yeah. I'm puckering my plump red lips as I dab a finger against the corner of my mouth, which curls into a slight smile. I ask you how you are. But you're too distracted by the way my mouth moves. Oh, how you long to ravish them. My curls frame that freakishly adorable, hot face as I whisper
Okay, enough fantasizing, people.
Like, I know I'm hot but really!
XD
DON'T YOU SAY YOU FANTASIZE ABOUT LEN MORE THAN ME.
Because we all know I'm so much hotter, sexier, cuter, adorable me.
But seriously.
Wanna know what really ticks me off?
YOU.
Just kidding.
C'mon! Don't get all huffy at me. As in don't puff your cheeks out and swivel your chair facing the other way! I could never get angry and get the overwhelming urge to stab you with breadsticks (loaves can make good mallets, actually). I love you guys enough to occassionally update this crappy web that probably wastes your time. Gah. Or I love you guys to pieces to the point of stripping half-nude in front of my morning class dancing to weird techno music.
Course I'd do it anyway.
XD
But today.
Teto-God had a bad day.
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SOBSOBSOB.
The worst has happened.
My nightmare came true.
My hair was flat-ironed.
It all started on a lovely fall day. The birds were migrating, the trees were browning, the wind was frickin' cold to the point where everyone wanted to cuddle up against their lovers and squeal about the weather. Yeah. All in all, school was happening, and I was supremely bored out of my bored during home economics. I mean. Learning about different knives and what their uses are best for.
WHO. CARES.
All knives are sharp and pointy and cut things why the adjfa;j;asjkdl do we gotta test on them?
Oh yeah. Because it's cooking.
Hmph.
But when it comes to sharp things and Tei Sukone, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.
Funny how she knows a lot about knives, right?
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I can see you're not laughing.
Anyway, (wow i really get off subject, don't I?) I was also covering my hair with an awesome paper bag. WHY YOU ASK? Because that morning Luka wanted to try a new style. On me. Yeah. So when I politely refused ("FUCK NO."), she kept insisting I try it and said I'd look fabulous. Of course, I sweetly declined ("NEVER! THE DAY MY HAIR GETS STRAIGHT IS THE DAY I DIE!").
Then Meiko came along.
Yeah, apparently she thought the idea was great too. So they both kept trying to convince me before school started. I was like, "God, you two. Fashion statement or not, I don't want my awesome curls flattened like a board! Leave me alone!" Then they tied me to a chair and strapped my hands, legs, etc. They even gagged me! I was screaming the whole time too ('course I had to avoid burning myself with stupid Luka's straightener). Afterwards, they even exfoliated my face. Ugh. And they forced me to school wearing my hair down.
Best yet, that day was Ted-kun's birthday.
...I can feel you smiling.
Stop smiling.
So that new transfer guy, Mikuo what's-his-face comes up to me asking why I have a bag on my head. I just glared at him and walked off. Yeah. I don't care if he was being polite and stuff, bad hair puts me in a bad mood! Later in gym, stupid Kagamine-kun and his stupid cutie twin go up to me and comment on my bag. Meiko-sama~ in other words, that bitch yanks away my awesome paper disguise.
Rinny-boo tilts her head and softly asks, "...Is something different about you today, Teto?"
asdflkjal;dsjkfs stupid adorable rin.
Kagamine-kun blinks. "Uhhhh... Nice hair."
Yeah. Need I say more? Just imagine what Ted-kun'd say. While Meiko was laughing her ass off, I snatched back my bag and covered my head. It wasn't funny! Luckily, Akita was sick with a summer cold. (weird considering it's nearly halloween, ne?) So afterwards, I was crammed in a mass of students in the hall. It was one of those days where everything went wrong.
Too bad it was also one of those times you run into people with stuff flying everywhere.
Which happened to be Ted-kun himself.
Yup.
SHIIIIIIIP.
My paper bag flew off, revealing my -legasp- stiffly straight hair which flew down past my shoulders. Ted-kun just stared down at me. And I just smiled nervously. My face was flaming, I tell you. Despite my poor functioning brain, I managed to sputter out a 'h-happy birthday, Ted-kun' before gawking like a total moron.
I wanted to die on the spot. (Hell, I'd even let Sukone stab me to her yandere pleasure.)
But my world was over when he looked at my hair. Then at me.
At my hair, then at me.
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"Have we met?"
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WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
AHWAAAAAA! REMEMBERING IT STILL MAKES ME WANNA SLAM MY FACE AGAINST THE SCREEN! DAMMIT ALL STUPID LUKA STUPID TWINS STUPID MEIKO!
MOST OF ALL STUPID DAMN HAIR!
WAAAHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHHAAAAAAAA AA!
Two minutes later, I was with stupid Kaito at lunch, sulking. He just scoffed at me and said, "Keep crying then. Cry, cry, cry. Go cry me a river."
And I was like, "I refuse. I'll cry a swimming pool."
Stupid Kaito goes back to eating his sundae.
He's fun.
:P
Yeah. So far my week's been shitty. I look like shit, I feel like shit, I act like shit.
... how does shit act anyway.
Okay. Let's clear it up. I got a fugly makeover, my long-time crush didn't recognize me, and everyone at school pointed their fingers at me and laughed at my misery in their minds. They think I don't know but I do. I have redhead telekinetic powers.
Here's a life's fact, my computer friends who I don't even know and talk to even though you might be trolling mentally unstable internet addicts...
When I get mad, or overly happy, or depressed (I'm the latter), I do things I normally regret doing later on.
In other words.
I do very stupid things when going crazy.
In fact I have a list right here:
STUPIDEST FAILS/MISTAKES I'VE EVER MADE IN LIFE
1.) Poured brown paint in Akita's seat in first grade art.
2.) Accidentally called Akita a "whore" instead of "horror" during our pumpkin scare play
3.) Ate crayons in kindergarten
4.) Kicked Meiko
5.) Fell on my face when first meeting Ted-kun
6.) Called Kagamine-kun a girl by mistake
7.) Muttering out my Ted fantasies on the subway
8.) Eating too fast
9.) Forgetting my lunch (nuuuuuuuu bread!)
10.) Tripping down stairs in front of Ted
11.) Accidentally cuddling Utatane instead of Ted when trying to give a surprise hug
12.) Not looking when pouring wasabi on bread instead of butter
13.) Asking Ted-kun to help open my locker when photos of him spilled out. (MAJOR FAIL)
14.) Using this blog to harass Luka
This list goes on and on... but anyway. My many fails get me into a deep pickle. Like now, for instance. I'm about to blurt a super secret secret which I'm not allowed to tell anyone. ESPECIALLY NOT YOU.
Why?
Because it involves Luka.
And her lover/professor.
...XD
Hours after the Ted incident, I was sulking to the library. I forgot to check out a book I needed for the next class. Just then I heard crashing noises behind the fifth book row. I then noticed Luka wasn't behind the front desk.
I panicked.
So rushing to where the loud crashing came from, I called out for Luka and turned a corner to find something puh-retty awkward.
Books were thrown around, scattered in a complete disarray. Panting noises pieced the silence. My darling Luka was laying with her backside against the table, sweating and pink-faced. She looked completely submissive, spent, and exhausted. Professor Gakupo hovered over her, positioned between her dangling legs. He was practically latched onto her! As for Luka, I noticed her arms were wrapped around his neck tightly. It looked like she was pulling him closer so their lips could meet.
Their breaths mingled together. Their faces were flushed, and they were incredibly close. Pink and purple hair entwined, they were gazing at each other with such clear tenderness. The kind you have after some kind of passionate lovemaking.
Then they saw me.
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Heh...
Heh heh heh heh heh heh.
HEHHEHHEHHEHHEHHEHEHHEHHEHHE HEH.
OHOHOHO the looks on their faces! Priceless!
After they stammered out excuses and denials, I *mentally* snorted and left them. Luka later caught up with me and quickly explained it wasn't what it looked like, that some books fell and professor was preventing them from falling on her, using his body as protections. And the reason why she was wrapping her arms around his neck was to keep the heaviest dictionaries from bashing on his head.
Riiiiight. And I'm in love with Utatane. BWAHAHAHA.
...I'm not though. Really. I'd never date that albino coughgaycoughcough nerd.
Needless to say, she begged me not to tell anyone.
(＾ω＾≡＾ω＾)
...Oh no. I swore I'd keep this a secret. I can't even last three days. I'm dead, but I'm so angry and feverish right now, I can't even think straight.
Okay. Think of this as revenge for ruining my hair, cousin in denial.
I miss you guys! I love you. Send me fanmail or something... and cheer me up 'cause I'm sad and lonely. And still single. And for crying out loud, Cho Saryangai! WHERE'S ME TED PLUSHIE YOU PROOOOOOOOOOOMISED ME ONE! DX DX DX.
Also, I'm betting Azumi's commiting suicide at the end of Melt season 2.
THEN REI WILL BE MINERARRR!
(Thirty minutes later)
Comment ~ Favor
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50 new comments have been added!
8 new comment(s) from your friends have been added!
Rin Kagamine: Earlier, I believed you meant insects crawling in my hair. I'm fortunate Len was here to help me understand. Fascinating philosophy, Teto. I should consider listening to you for advice from now on. :) (I just smiled using those buttons. I think.)
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Meiko: Rin, honey. DON'T. By the way, Teto. You're doomed.
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Nami Kagamine: Rin-chan made her account! She's decided to read your blog on a daily basis, Teto-chan. She admires you, as you can see.
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Nami Kagamine: wha Luka and the professor are in that kind of relationship? (this is Len)
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Kaito: Crazy girl. But you can bring up pretty interesting things. But I'm bored, so looking up your blog's the only option.
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Luka Megurine: TETOOOoooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo
From: Teto Kasane
To: Rin Kagamine
Subject: Rinny-boo
Holy crap and pants, we're friends and you didn't tell me?
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From: Rin Kagamine
To: Teto Kasane
Subject: re: Rinny-boo
Yes.
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From: Teto Kasane
To: Rin Kagamine
Subject: re: Rinny-boo
:D Alright, I'm so pumped for this! You're handling the computer well, I hope? Is anything too difficult for you? You know how to use the mouse, right? You know how to open microsoft? Email? Google? Youtube? Also can I copy your homework from English class?
I swear Ms. Ann's gonna ruin me.
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From: Rin Kagamine
To: Teto Kasane
Subject: re: Rinny-boo
Oh. Oh yes. I can handle things well on my own. Are you feeling better?
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From: Teto Kasane
To: Rin Kagamine
Subject: re: Rinny-boo
Haha! I'm okay. Could be better.
Anyway, Rin. You remember sex ed. How a man and woman connect together. I've been meaning to ask...
Do you want blond babies?
Or teal babies?
;)
From: Rin Kagamine
To: Teto Kasane
Subject: re: Rinny-boo
Teto, do not be silly. My knowledge and current maturity level isn't efficient for nursing children.
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From: Teto Kasane
To: Rin Kagamine
Subject: Miku then?
Huh. Too bad. But at least Miku'll dub me her godmother. It's obvious how cute she and your brother are hitting it off.
Yay! I'll be an Auntie~! :D :D
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From: Rin Kagamine
To: Teto Kasane
Subject: re: Miku then?
Miku will have Len's children... is that what you are implying? But I!
No!
It's like you said, Teto! Sex is very sacred! It is for married ones! Not for this age! No! And Miku and Len are not married! They can't have children! Or sex! No! It is highly unacceptable! I cannot allow this! And Mikuo-kun won't approve either!
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From: Teto Kasane
To: Rin Kagamine
Subject: Settling matters
Rin, sweetheart. Acting like this... you're depriving Len's wants. His needs. Don't you see how badly he wants this? Children, I mean. You've seen how great he's with kids. It's sorta obvious. And it's a man's driven objective to deliver the next generation into this world. But he needs a lovely little lady to help him.
You don't want Miku to help him... then who will, Rin-chan?
Don't you want Lenners to be happy? :( Is
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From: Meiko
To: Teto Kasane
Subject: -_-
At Kaito's house right now.
Oh god...
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From: Teto Kasane
To: Meiko
Subject: re: -_-
What happened?
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From: Meiko
To: Teto Kasane
Subject: re: -_-
While me and Kaito were competing in Wii Sports, Rin told Len straight up she'd be the one to have his babies right now.
As in NOW. And it's happening as I speak. As in she's grasping onto his hands. And wow he looks like he's on fire.
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From: Teto Kasane
To: Meiko
Subject: re: -_-
lol... yay! We're gonna be aunties!
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From: Meiko
To: Teto Kasane
Subject: re: -_-
You wouldn't happen to have anything to do with this... right?
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From: Teto Kasane
To: Meiko
Subject: re: -_-
Why Meiko! I'm surprised at you! I mean after all we've been through together you... is this how you think of me?
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From: Meiko
To: Teto Kasane
Subject: re: -_-
Uh, of course. So. Are you involved in this or not?
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From: Teto Kasane
To: Meiko
Subject: re: -_-
Maybe a tad bit. XD
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From: Meiko
To: Teto Kasane
Subject: re: -_-
Stop teaching Rin to be like you.
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(Six minutes later...)
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From: Luka Megurine
To: Teto Kasane
Subject: teto
We need to talk.
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1 new message(s) received!
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To: Luka Megurine
From: Teto Kasane
Subject: lalala
XD Telling on me gets you trouble too. Mommy doesn't want weird teacher-student relationships going on. She made that clear when we turned thirteen.
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From: Luka Megurine
To: Teto Kasane
Subject: re: teto
You will pay for this. Dearly.
A/N: Well. That was fun. should I make a live story for this? About Teto's fail! hair and Rin wanting babies? *wink*