Chapter 4
B'Elanna sat back staring at her friend as he nursed his whiskey. There were very few times she had witnessed him drink, but after the hand he had been dealt she couldn't blame him. She was suddenly angry. Chakotay was one of the few decent men she had known in her life. Why did he have to endure so much suffering? She uttered a Klingon expletive and slammed her fist on the table.
"You don't have to do this for us, Chakotay. You and the Captain can be together. You should be together."
"It's not so simple, the crew need a command team, not a command couple." Chakotay said, sadly. "Besides, I don't think she knows how to be both, not here. She can't be my wife and the Captain. There are no off days on Voyager."
"But, right now you aren't being either one. You aren't able to function like you were before any of this. The entire crew can sense it, Chakotay. Something needs to be done, you are both miserable. Pretty soon it's going to start affecting morale."
He knew she was right, eventually they were going to have to suck it up and move on. He knew Captain Janeway too well, she would smother her feelings with duty, regulation, and honor. "It's not entirely up to me, the Captain has made a decision."
"And what the Captain says goes."
"Damn right."
Perhaps if it had been Tuvok or even Neelix she might have listened, she wouldn't have thrown him out of her ready room. But, Tom Paris? Who takes advice from Tom Paris?
"No, Kathryn." she thought to herself, "don't bemean."
She needed to calm down. Tom had come a long way and she recognized that. He had even snagged himself the feisty chief engineer. Kathryn stopped her pacing and slumped into her chair. Thomas Eugene Paris had turned his life around to become a senior officer and respected member of the crew and was happily married and she was burdened with a life of solitude. Forever known as the Captain and never just Kathryn. She felt, not for the first time, that being stranded in the Delta Quadrant was more of an exile than an accident. As if the cosmos were trying to punish her for everything she had done wrong in her life. Great, on top of acting like a terrible person she was being dramatic.
Life really was cruel.
The door to her ready room chimed, she ignored it hoping they would catch the hint and go away.
It chimed a second time, no such luck. She waited one more breath and it chimed once more.
"Enter!" She barked.
"Captain,-" Kathryn held up her hand interrupting him.
"Before you even ask, Chakotay. I am not fine and you are the last person I need to see right now." She turned her attention blindly to her console as a sign of dismissal. When she failed to hear any sign to indicate his retreat, she closed her eyes and fought the urge to sigh. Not today. She couldn't do this today. Bracing herself she met his searching gaze. She would not get lost in his eyes.
"Was there something else, Commander."
"They really are right for each other aren't they? Tom. He got to you didn't he? B'Elanna cornered me yesterday morning." Chakotay continued not waiting for an answer. He took a step forward. "She said we can't keep on like this, it's starting to affect the crew."
"I know. I thought this was the best way to handle it, but it's not working. We have to change something, Chakotay." Kathryn hated how her voice betrayed her.
"I will do what you think is best, Captain." As much as he wanted to he wouldn't push her, he would allow her to lead and he would do his best to follow suit. He would need time, a luxury they didn't have, but he would find a way to reign in his feelings and make it work. She knew all of this, the question now was would she be able to go on like they had prior to New Hope? Before the promises made in twilight beneath the waterfall? Promises to cherish and honor? To have and to hold until a warp core breach or borg assimilation do them part?
She was silent, staring out at the stars as if they held all of the answers. It was a full five minutes before she finally nodded her head. "We have to do what's best for the crew. They can't have a command team who can't function. We set the example, if we can't resolve to move past our issues than how can we expect them to do the same."
Chakotay nodded in agreement. Steeling himself for what he would have to say next, if he resigned as first officer and resumed another role on Voyager that would allow him some distance from her. He didn't think for a moment that she would ever allow it, but he would try anyway. He was sure he could make a good case for Tuvok to become her second in command. He was so caught up in preparing his resignation speech that he hadn't realized she had moved from behind her desk until she was directly in front of him.
"So you agree a command team has to function as a cohesive unit, that they can't allow their personal feelings to affect professional decisions?"
"Yes, of course Captain. I have always agreed with that."
"A few years ago we addressed our attraction for one another by setting down some parameters, obviously we've gone beyond those and need to establish a new set."
Chakotay swallowed. He had to do it now, he couldn't stand here and listen to her list all of the ways he couldn't be with her, again. "Agreed. That's why I propose-"
"No, Chakotay," She laid a hand on his chest, eyes shining. "I get to do the proposing this time."
His heart refused to beat or perhaps it was beating too fast, he couldn't tell because he had gone completely numb. He was fairly certain he wasn't breathing, but he didn't care because the silence meant he could hear clearly and he didn't want to miss a word.
"I have tried to be just the Captain, Chakotay. I put the uniform back on. I kept my distance. I even started wearing this ridiculous bun again, hoping that if I pretended long enough that she would be enough to create that barrier we once had. But, she's been gone for too long. Not to say I can't still do my job. I am perfectly capable of running this ship, but I realized I can be more than just the Captain. I need you to come home to, Chakotay. When I am on the bridge I am first and foremost the Captain and your commanding officer, but when I am in our quarters I am your wife. I made that promise to you and I intend to keep it."
"No uniform, no orders." He breathed, breaking into a dimpled grin as he gently pulled her to him. Janeway chuckled taking his face in to her hands.
"Not entirely, but more or less." She rose up slightly with the intention of pressing her lips against his when she paused and settled for leaning her forehead against his. "Alas, we are in uniform and this is closer than we should be."
Chakotay was silent as he held her against him eyes closed, his brain processing all that she had just said. He knew there were still so much they would have to discuss, lines that would have to be drawn. But that's okay. He could settle for professional neutrality on duty, but at the end of each day she would be in his arms unrestrained.
"What about regulation? Protocol? What if we find a way home tomorrow? What if it gets messy?" Chakotay asked needing to voice all the many excuses and reasons they had never attempted a relationship prior to now. Janeway cocked her head thoughtfully.
"According to my official report, we began an intimate relationship on the planet away from regulation and protocol. We are human Chakotay and there was a time variance, Starfleet can't expect us to be robots all of the time. If we return to Earth tomorrow, so be it! I will face a court martial if necessary. If it gets, messy? Well, I can't promise that it won't, we are in uncharted waters, but you are my best friend Chakotay and short of handing in your resignation I don't see how we could make this work any other way."
"So, will you have me, Chakotay? Always and forever?"
The dimpled grin again. "To have and to hold?"
"Until a borg assimilation or warp core breach do us part." He finished.
"We really need some better vows." Kathryn said as they walked arm in arm towards the view port.
"But they fit us perfectly." Chakotay protested.
"That they do."
Epilogue:
He was going to be late and his wife was going to kill him. Running around the final corner to the holodeck he spotted her, arms crossed, leaning against the bulkhead, a scowl on her face.
"I am sorry. The Doc wouldn't let me go until I had run a diagnostic on all of the bio-beds and sterilized all the surgical equipment, twice! Then right as I was about to leave-" B'Elanna held up a hand silencing him.
"It's okay fly boy, it's still occupied. Some people have no consideration for reservations." She said grumpily, just as the Captain and Commander strolled out, a bright smile on both of their faces.
"Tom! B'Elanna! We are so sorry we kept you waiting." Janeway said placing a hand on B'Elanna's arm. Torres softened. Chakotay hadn't said much to her, but had brought her a raktajino the other day and she taken that as a sign that things between him and the Captain. Seeing them arm in arm confirmed that assumption.
"It's okay, Captain. Did you have a good time?"
"Oh yes," Chakotay cleared his throat avoiding his best friends gaze. Tom took in their costumes. The Captain was dressed in soft blue pants that were tucked into grey knee high boots, a tan colored top underneath a green vest, with what looked like a type of small phaser pistol strapped to her belt. Her hair was braided into an intricate design around her head. Chakotay was dressed in a black vest with a white shirt and brown pants with what looked to be a gun holster sitting low on his hips.
"Do anything interesting?" Tom couldn't put his finger on where he had seen these outfits before, but he was sure they were familiar.
"Canoeing." "Rock climbing" The command couple responded simultaneously, Chakotay tugged on his ear. The Captain stood with one of her crooked grins, daring Tom to question them again.
"Right. Well we have a reservation to keep at the singing towers of Darillium, apparently a night there last 24 years. Unfortunately, we only have an hour and fifteen minutes." B'Elanna stated interrupting any string of inappropriate questions her husband was about to pose to their commanding officers.
"I heard it was divine. Enjoy, you two."
"See you Torres. Paris." They turned and walked casually down the corridor.
"I think our meddling may have helped. The Captain hasn't said anything about stripping my rank again and they seem happy, so I take that as a good sign." Tom said playfully, turning his attention back to his very attractive wife whom he had barely seen all day.
"Yea, you did good this time." B'Elanna had turned her attention to the controls when she paused. "What's Episode VI: Return of the Jedi? What's a Jedi?"
Tom burst into laughter.
FIN
Author's Note: Thank you everyone who has commented and followed along. I was really stuck with the ending. This may be a piece that I come back to and tweak from time to time. I am open to any constructive criticism that will help me to improve my writing! Feel free to comment or PM me! I hope that you will continue to follow along, I have some other adventures in store with an OC, that I created when I was like twelve.
Thank you again!