none of the characters, except for one belong to Stephanie Meyer. Remember things are not always what they seem:) This chapter is an equal collaboration between me and mommylee693. she thinks so much like me it is scary. I am convinced we were twins separated at birth or in another life. she worked just as hard as i did to make this chapter what is, so if you truly like it,please let us know. It would mean so much to us. Thanks to all who have read a review. Big hugzzzzz and love to you all from the both of us. mommylee693 and goldengirl62
some confuse good sex with real love, not able or care to have a mental or emotional connection to anyone, can you imagine just how much more passionate love making would be if you and your lover were not connected just bodily, but with your hearts and mind. it is mind shatteringly passionate..I'm just saying..*wink*
In A Tent Of Change
(Bella's POV)
Chapter Four
Warm and safe. That's how I felt when I woke and found myself wrapped in Jacob's warm embrace. My head resting on his chest, his heartbeat sounded like music to me. A sound surely missing in Edwards's cold embrace. It felt like home. My hands explored his muscular chest and strong arms. Arms that were much like a brick wall to me. Keeping away anything that dares to try to hurt me.
I was brought out of my thoughts when I felt him waking up beside me. "That's a great way to wake a man up, but I think you missed a spot." He said. My face turned bright red as I smiled sheepishly at him. He grinned and winked at me, making my cheeks redder.
I looked into his eyes ready to make a retort. They were filled with so much love, so much passion, that whatever I was about to say was forgotten. A desire so strong slammed into and tickled the pit of my stomach. He slowly raised his head and held my chin with one of his hands.
Before I knew what was happen, I was laying on my back and half his body was laying over me, one of his legs laid between mine. I could feel his arousal pressed against my thigh. The thoughts that ran through my mind sent a nerve shattering pleasure through my body just from the intimate way we laid.
We did not once take our eyes away from the others. His lips were moving closer to mine and I laid there and waited. In the back of my mind something was telling me it is not the time for this, but I brushed it away. I wanted it with an awe-inspiring need that would rock the very foundation we lay on.
Then he stopped moving towards me. A look of irritation crossed his, to be replaced by a rueful smile. I did not realize what was going on until he looked over his shoulder. My eyes followed his movement to look at the entrance of the tent where Edward now stood. We separated and when Jacob left the tent, I unconsciously went to follow him.
A blast of cold air hit me making me shiver from my head to the tips of my toes. Wondering why I was so cold, I glanced down and realized I still only in my under garments. Looking around the tent for my clothes. I couldn't find them anywhere. Edward stepped in front of me; his eyes averted on a spot at the back of the tent and held the small pile out to me, along with the jacket Jacob brought. He turned around facing away from me so I could get dressed. After quickly dressing, I told Edward I'd be right back as I ran out of the tent to chase after Jacob.
I know he got a head start, but I was sure he would hear me coming and stop and wait for me. Trying to catch up to Jacob, my mind began to wonder. I was unsure why I had chased after him. What I was sure of though, was that, when he left, I felt as though he took something with him, something I could only have when he is near. To be honest, I am not ready for him to go yet, I need to tell him, how much I appreciate him and what he did and is doing for me.
I hadn't gotten too far away from the tent, when I noticed him. He was standing by a tree waiting for me. A small smile graced his face when he saw me quickly making my way over to him.
"Promise me you will be careful and not take any unnecessary risks. I can't lose you Jake, you mean too much to me."
"Don't worry hunni, I'll be careful. I still have unfinished business to attend to with you. Now that I know I may have a chance with you."
"I didn't say you had a chance Jacob, I am just not sure about my decision. I still love Edward and I can stay human with him."
I saw the hurt in his face when I said that, it tore me apart. I wish I could tell him the real reason I cannot be with him, but I know he will only offer me assurances and promise that he knows he won't be able to keep. When he sees a certain face, he will not look my way again.
A look of irritation crossed his face. ""You seriously would consider staying with that leech and staying human? You want to die a virgin Bells? I see how you two act around each other he struggles just to kiss you. Are you seriously telling me your okay with that? With not having children ever? Or how about all of your friends and family that were there for you when he left you broken and empty? Do any of them matter? The time they spent checking on you and trying to make you feel better...the time that I spent trying to piece back together what he broke. Does none of that matter to you? Because if it did you wouldn't even consider becoming one of them. Everything I did and they did for you will have been for nothing. My pack and I are about to battle a bunch of newborns in the hoping of saving your life. Were not fighting to prolong your death. That's exactly what you are doing if after today you turn into one of them. You would be dying then what will we be going through today be for?"
I was getting very angry and I don't know why, everything he has said is the truth.
"You're fighting to keep your rez safe from them. So none of your people gets hurt by them. Because you know deep down that though the Cullens are vampires they are still people and they are good. They don't want to take away a life of any living, breathing being. They don't deserve to be attacked just because they protected a human from being murdered I told you I'm doubting my decision. That doesn't mean I would be ready to run right off into your arms Jacob. It just means I didn't think things through as much as I thought I did. Now is not the time to think about it. Victoria and her newborns will be here anytime now and you need to focus on keeping your people safe. I need to focus on staying calm because I just know I'm going to freak out with worry."
"If this was just about keeping my people safe or the people of forks, we would not need to involve the Cullens. We could have done this without the vampires you love so much. You say they are good, well they might be, at this moment, but in realities they are predators. Something you will be if they changed you."
My frustration was starting to peak. Why couldn't he just accept my explanation for now and wait until after this whole battle with Victoria is over to work things out. Of all the times for him to be stubborn, he had to pick now "Jacob, I really don't think this is something we should talk about right now, we'll talk later when all this is over."
Judging by how he growled at me in response, I could tell he was just frustrated and angry at me at this point, as I was with him. "Actually this is the perfect time. We are fighting Victoria because she wants you and Edward dead. Now is the time to decide if it's worth fighting for. If you become one of them, we are doing this for nothing. Just delaying your deaths, buying you time"
He stood there, breathing hard from our anger, staring into each other's eyes, neither one of us willing to back down. I don't know what else to say. What can I say? He is right, everything he said is true. I am selfish and not caring about anyone but myself and what I want. At least that's what they think. What I allow them to believe.
I do love Jacob with everything in me, but I am afraid of being left behind again, of giving my whole heart and soul to him just for him to leave when that right girl comes along. Lately I have been thinking he is worth any pain I have to go through, even if I just had one day with him. The question is really. Is he worth the risk?
My answer is yes. He is more than worth it.
Before I knew what I was doing, my hands were reaching out for him, pulling him down to me, my fingers wrapped in his hair at the nape of his neck. He pulled me close and picked me up, where I wrapped my legs around his waist. His hands at my thigh held me to him. Our lips touched then fused as we explored each other's mouth with our tongue.
He turned and rests my back against a tree. My world shifted. Fire didn't just spread; it exploded from within me, reaching throughout my body. His lips were warm and moved with mine in masterful precision. He tasted better than he smelled and to me, there is no smell as intoxicating, more sensual than Jacob's natural scent.
I forgot about everything, as I got lost in the feel, taste and smell of Jacob. Reality and everything with it receded. It was just me and Jacob in our own little world…until.
"Well, well Bella it seems you have replaced poor Edward with this dog. Well, no matter, neither one of you will live long enough to enjoy it. Maybe Edward will even welcome the final death since he has lost his little human to his natural enemy."
Her voice was chilling and childish, and then she laughed. If you ever wondered what pure evil sound like, that would be it.
Jacob stiffened, and then slowly put me to stand on my feet, we both faced her. After that, everything became a blur of confusion. She jumped at me, but before she could Edward ran out of the tent, knocked her away, and started fighting with her. She had two others with her, new borns. I could tell they were new borns because how they acted. They were cocky, as if nothing in this world could hurt them. They had their eyes on me, with a look of immense hunger in their eyes. An evil promising smile on their faces. I was the prize. They would do whatever it took to get a taste of my blood. Noise a few feet from me drew the attention of one of them. Quil stepped out of the woods growling, his hackles up, and then all hell broke loose.
One came after me and the other went after Quil. Before he could get to me, Jacob phased into wolf form and jumped in front of me. Everything happened so fast, it was such a blur and then out of nowhere something hit me really hard, knocking me out.
When I woke next I was laying in the tent with Quil and Edward standing over me. I groaned from slight pain, making them notice I was awake.
"You gave us a scare there Bella. You've been out for a while." Edward said, looking concerned.
"What happened?" I asked groggily, while trying to sit up. They both leaned down to help me, supporting me on each side until I had my balance.
It was Quil who answered. "Jacob jumped in front of you because one of Victoria's new borns almost had you, but he was too close to you and you were accidentally knocked out. He was worried, he thought he killed you. It wasn't until he felt your pulse and saw you were still alive, did he calm down."
"Victoria," I suddenly remembered why we were there. "Where is she? Is she dead?" I asked panicking.
"Calm down Bella." Edward said soothingly, "she and her new borns are dead. She will never bother you again."
I was relieved until I thought of Jacob. "Where is Jacob? Is he okay?"
"Yes he is." Edward replied. "After we burned Victoria and the other two, he went down to help the others.
I let out the breath I did not know I was holding and started to relax until Edward got still as if he was hearing something distressing.
"No," he cried. "Someone help him." Then he turned to Quil. "Jacob needs you, go."
"What's going on?" I asked, panicking again. "Was someone hurt?"
The look on Edward's face was enough I knew who it was before I asked, but I had to hear it. "Who got hurt? You have to tell me. Who was it?"
He looked at me sadly. "Jacob"
"Jacob? You have to take me to him Edward."
He acted like he did not want to take me, and I can't blame him, but right now I cannot think about that. If Jacob were not out here saving my life from some deranged vampire he would not have gotten hurt. I cannot lose him, not now that I have decided he was worth the pain I would go through if we got together and he left me.
"Please Edward; I have to go to him." I looked at him pleadingly, hoping he would understand.
Without replying, he picked me up and ran out the tent through the tress, down the mountains, where two sets of people were standing in different areas of the clearing.
Then I heard.
"Damn doc, take it easy." Jacob, at least he was talking. "That hurts!"
"I need to go home and get some tranquilizers and bandages, his hip is broke, not to mention his right leg and arm. I gave him something to ease the pain for now, but I will need something stronger for when I set his bones. I'll meet you back at the rez, Sam." I heard Carlisle say.
"Okay, thanks doctor." Sam replied to him
I squirmed in Edwards arms. "Put me down, I need to see him."
"He is hurt Bella, there is nothing you can do. Carlisle will take care of him and we need to get you home."
I looked over to where Jacob lay and noticed his brothers starting to pick him up.
"No, wait!" I screamed when I did they all turned to look at me. I jumped out of Edwards arms and ran over to where Jacob laid.
I knelt beside him and held his good hand in mine. Tears were falling down my face as I looked at this boy, this man, who has come to mean so much to me. Not just my best friend anymore. I'm not really sure what we are. I do know he means more to me and I love him more than I could ever love Edward or anyone.
"I love you Jacob," I whispered in his ear. "What did I tell you about playing the hero?"
Edward had told all about how he got hurt while he was carrying me down here. He got hurt helping Leah. She had gotten a little cocky while fighting a stray new born. Instead of just destroying it, she kept taunting it and if Jacob had not gotten there in time. She would be dead.
"Don't cry hunni. I told you nothing would happen to me. I have too much to fight and live for. I'll be my annoying self in no time."
He tried grin, but I could tell the pain was just too much. The painkiller Carlisle gave him wasn't strong enough.
"We have to get you to the rez, so the doctor can stitch you up." Sam said to Jacob, and then he looked at me. "You can come and see him after the doc gets done."
"You'll come see me, wont you bells? You won't just disappear with them and not see me?" He asked as a tear ran down his cheek.
"Nothing can or will keep me away. What makes you think I'll just go away and not see you?" I asked puzzled
"It's just a feeling I have." He replied, then looked over at Edward
"I'll be over as soon as I go home and get cleaned. I also need to check in with my dad."
He held my hand a little tighter. "Promise me, promise me you'll come."
"I promise." Then I kissed each of his fingers, leaned over and kissed him lightly on his mouth. I knew Edward was watching and listening to everything that we said, but right now I didn't care. All that mattered was Jake.
I gentle put his hand on his chest and stood up, I watched as his brothers picked him up and took him away. I stood there and watched until he was out of sight; still I did not turn around.
"Bella?" Edward called to me. "We need to get you to the house and changed before you go back home. If you go like that your dad won't believe you were with Alice on a shopping trip."
I turned towards him. "Yeah, you're right."
"Do you mind going with Alice? I need to stay a little longer and help clean out the area, make sure there are no stray new borns that we missed."
"Sure, that's fine."
I tried to smile but couldn't. I was actually relieved. I needed time to think and I did not need him trying to influence me one way or another. Not that he could influence me any more. After he had left me alone and broken in the woods last year. What he thinks and says does not affect me as it once did.
"I'll come by to see you later." He kissed me on my cheek.
"Okay."
No matter what happens. If Jacob and I do end up together. I will still care about Edward and wish him the best. He did risk his undead existence to save my life, so we could remain friends. Just not as close as we once were. In respect and loyalty to Jacob, if he and I do get together. I would not be able to be as close with any of the Cullens and when I do see them, it would have to be in the presence of Jacob or one of his brothers.
"Bella, what are you thinking?"
I was so deep in thought; I did not hear Alice approach or noticed when Edward left
"Why do you ask that?" I wondered what she getting at.
"I was checking on your future, to see if there would be anymore dangers ahead, other than the volturri, but it keeps changing." She looks at me with her head tilted to the side. "You're having second thoughts about being with my brother, haven't you?"
I felt guilty, especially since I realize just how the relationship between her and me will change once I am with Jacob. She had become almost like a sister to me. Even though she can be annoying and treats me like her own personal living Barbie, though at times I find her trying to change me, even though it is only materially, does get rather insulting at times. I know she cares for me though and does not mean any harm.
"I am sorry Alice, but you're right, I am having second thoughts." I said sadly
"But why Bella? I thought you were in love with him."
"I do love him Alice, but not the way a woman should love a man, it's more like a friend or brotherly kind of love."
'You two seemed so happy. I have to admit I was surprised that you took him back so easily after the way he left you. I thought after you helped save his life that would be it, because I know you have a good heart you would save him no what, then you would get the answers you needed from him and that would be that, but when you stayed I figured you must really be in love with him."
"I stayed because I do care about him and seeing how he reacted when he thought I had killed myself, I was afraid that if I left his side he would do something similar and I did not want you all to lose him because of me."
"You did truly love him once before he left. So no one can blame you if your feelings have changed because of the way he left you."
I had no response to that.
"It's Jacob black isn't it?"
I looked at her shocked. I thought I kept my feelings for him hidden; it seems I did not do a very good job of it.
"I really don't want to talk about this right now Alice. I just need to do whatever I need to so I can go check on him."
"Okay Bella, but know you can talk to me about anything. I am your friend and want you to be happy, even it's not with my brother. No matter who you are with, I hope we can remain friends."
"I know and I hope the same thing, but right now I am very worried about Jacob, I just want to get your house, change, then to mine, to tell my dad all about this so called shopping trip we went on, I know he'll start worrying if he don't hear from me soon, then I am going to check on Jacob."
With that said, she bent down so I could get on her back, I would worry about her carrying because she is so small, but I know how strong she really is. After I was securely on her back, she took off through the woods to her house.
There was no one at her house when we got there, which was strange, I thought at least Esme would be here, but I was too worried about Jacob to give it much thought. Alice rushed us upstairs and led me to the shower. After finding me a robe and towel, she went to her room to find me something to wear. I made sure she knew I was not in the mood to be too dolled up.
When I got out the shower, I was relieved to see a pair of dark blue straight leg hip jean and white t-shirt and sneakers. She did try to put some makeup on me and fuss with my hair, but I was not having it. The quicker I was done here, the quicker I can do other things, then go and see Jake.
We did not talk much while I was getting ready or on the drive over to my house. I guess she knew I had a lot on my mind and left me alone with my thoughts.
When I got home, I was surprised that my dad's cruiser was not parked in front of the house and wondered where he could be. I turned and looked at Alice before I got out of the car.
"Thanks for everything Alice. Since my dad isn't home, I'm going to go straight over to Jake's. I'll call you later."
"You're welcome Bella, but there is no need to thank me. If it weren't for us, you would not have been in danger in the first place." She looked at me as if she was contemplating something. "Anything you want me to tell Edward?"
"No, I'm sure you will be over later, I'll talk to him then."
"You know, he'll read my mind and see the conversation we had earlier."
"With everything on my mind I actually forgot about that. Oh well, it can't be helped. I'll talk to you later."
I grabbed my backpack and got out of her car and went straight to my trusty truck, in five minutes I was on my way to Jake's. I thought about Edward and what I would say to him when I saw him later. I thought about Jake and how he was doing and what I could say to him.
When I pulled up at his house, there was a strange car parked in the make shift driveway, but I thought nothing of it. I got out and walked up the steps of the porch and knocked, and was surprised to see Embry answered the door.
"Hey Bella, come to see the invalid?" He greeted me
"Hey, where is Billy?" I asked as I stepped into the house
"He is still with your dad fishing; remember that was the only way to make sure he was safe. Well, they have not been back yet."
"Oh yeah, I forgot."
I walked to the den where I found Quil and Jared watching television, I wondered where everyone else was. They looked up and nodded their head in greeting.
"You can go on back and see him. He has been asking about you." Embry said from behind me.
"Okay thanks."
I made my way down the hall to his room, as I got closer, I heard Jacob talking to someone. It sounded like a girl. The door was not closed all the way. I was not sure if I should just walked in. when I made up my mind that I would. The next sentence stopped me in my tracks.
"You have not told her about you imprinting?" The girl asked him
The thing that I have feared the most about starting a relationship with Jacob seemed to have happened. I felt my heartbeat speed up. I wanted to get away from there, but I know I couldn't until I had seen him, made sure he was all right.
"No I haven't, but I will soon." He replied
I heard her get up and the noise of her sitting on the bed. "Well, don't wait until it was too late." From the girl again.
I decided to just go in. he probably knows I am out here anyway. I pushed the door and walked in just when the girl said
"I gotta go Jacob. I'll be back later." Then she leaned down and kissed him quickly on the lips.
I must have made a sound because at the same time Jake looked up at me, the girl, a blond hair, skinny, scantily dressed girl turned and saw me. This must be his imprint. My felt my heart break in a million pieces. I guess it is fitting. Though I have never promised Jake anything. However, I know I have hurt in the past and this is my punishment
"Hey Bella, I'm glad you came to see me. I was worrying about you."
I needed to get out of there now, before I start to hyperventilate or say anything that would embarrass Jacob and me.
"I am okay, don't worry about me. You're the one that's hurt. I just came to see how you're doing, and now that I have, I gotta go. I need to be home for when my dad gets back. You know how he worries."
"Don't go yet bells, you just got here, plus I wanted you to meet someone."
"I really have to go Jake, but I'll be back."
With that said, I ran out the house and jumped in my truck, heading for home. I did not give a thought how I looked racing out of there, but I did not care. My worst fears have come through, my Jake have imprinted on some one. He's not my Jake anymore. He's her's now.
That thought brought on a fresh wave of tears. It seemed no matter how many of them I spilt none of them made me feel better. My heart was broken. I was ready to throw caution to the wind and be with Jacob. However, I was too late. Only one thought repeated in my head as I cried on the drive back home… what do I do now?
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