Ch. 3

Pauly's POV

The Frogs came tumbling into my sun room like two drunken psycho lumberjack bears. Alan smirked when he saw me and Edgar averted his eyes. "Oh my god, put some clothes on," he shouted.

It wasn't like I was, like, naked. I had on my bra and panties. It was like a mismatched bikini. "Like, oh my God, Edgar, you're acting like I'm completely naked, and it's not that big a deal, you know? Like you must have seen girls like this on TV or in the movies before."

"Put. Some fucking clothes. On. Now!" Alan moved away from Edgar slightly. "Don't listen to him; you look fine." Edgar rolled his eyes at Alan, still avoiding looking at me.

"I can't believe it. My own big brother's a pervert," he muttered. "No, I'm not," Alan protested. "I just appreciate the female form."

I rolled my eyes (lots of eyes were totally rolling). "I can, like, totally kick your ass, Alan, you know," I pointed out. "Anyway, like, what do you guys want?"

"We changed our minds. About your favor," Alan said. I smirked.

"I, like, knew you guys would, you know? I'm, like, very intuitive, you know," I said. "I'm sure you are," Edgar said all snotty, rolling his eyes.

I chose to, like, ignore him. "So, like, anyway, what do you guys, like, want," I said, tossing my hair.

"Well, I'd like you to put. some clothes. on," Edgar said stiffly. Maybe he's less straight than I thought.

"You know your friends, Tiffani and Taylor," Alan said. "Well, we're kind of into them. And we were hoping you could hook us up."

I examined both of them. They were both kind of cute, I could give them that. But otherwise, there was no way any of my friends would ever, ever go out with either of them. Especially Edgar. He was around Tiffani's height, so that part was OK. But Tiffani only ever dated athletes or student council types or richies. Edgar fell in none of those categories, unless you count bike riding as a sport. And Taylor only dates seniors, which worked in Alan's favor, but he was a little skinnier than most of her boyfriends.

"This is, like, going to take a lot of work," I said. "And I mean, like totally a lot of work. Fer shure."

"We're willing," Alan said, staring at my chest. I think this was, like, the first time either of them ever saw a girl in her underwear in the flesh. "So will you guys, like, meet me after the basketball game tomorrow," I asked.

"Why the hell would we go to the basketball game," Edgar asked, finally looking right at me. "Because I'm a cheerleader, duh," I said. "So are Tiffani and Taylor." I tossed my hair and I'll admit my chest may have bounced a little. Look, they finally became C cups, I had, like, a lot of pride in the girls, okay?

Alan's eyes bugged out of his head. "Look, we can, like, talk a little until, like, midnight, ok? That's my weekday curfew. You guys should've come on Friday; on the weekend I have no curfew."

Edgar rolled his eyes. "We can stay," Alan said. "Yeah, just put some clothes on," Edgar said.

"Fine," I sighed. "If you're, like, going to be, like, such a baby about it." I went into my room and threw on my denim vest with fuzzy pink sleeves, my red and black striped cropped tube top, and my matching miniskirt. When I came out, they both looked me up and down. Alan looked confused, and Edgar still looked annoyed, but then again Edgar always looks annoyed.

"Why are you wearing a headband as a shirt," Alan asked. "This is, like, a tube top," I pointed out, exasperated. I turned towards Edgar. "Better?"

He sighed. "Not much, but it will have to do." So I flopped down on my bed.

"OK, so, like, have either of you ever had, like, girlfriends before," I asked. They both shook their heads.

"I've kissed girls before," Alan put in.

"OK, how about you, Edgar?" He looked on the ground, sort of embarrassed. "Not really," he muttered.

"OK," I said. "Come on, sit here," I said, patting the spot next to me. Edgar sort of trudged over and sat down.

"We should, like, practice," I said. "You mean, I have to kiss you," Edgar said, sounding disgusted. I rolled my eyes at him.

"It's not that bad. It's for, like, practice, so it doesn't, you know, count. And, like, besides, I don't want to, like, kiss you either. I mean, in seventh grade, you, like totally threw a dead frog organ from the biology lab at me, you know?"

"That was a white coffee bean," he said. "I didn't think you would assume it was a frog heart and faint."

"Anyway, let's, like, get this over with," I sighed. And then I kissed him. He almost immediately slipped his tongue in, and then, I, like, couldn't believe it, but I was actually enjoying it, you know? He sort of started lying on top of me, and then we had, like, pretty much gone from kissing to making out. I pulled back, though, because I'm, like, in love with Jack.

"You've really never done that before," I asked, because, like, oh my God, Edgar Frog was, like, actually a very good kisser.

"Nope," he said. "You know," Alan said. "I was lying. I've never kissed a girl. And I've never touched a boob either. So can we do that?"

I rolled my eyes, and turned on MTV. A Debbie Gibson video was on, "Only in My Dreams."

"Change the channel," Edgar said. "Dear God, just change the channel." I was already ahead of him. I turned on one of the HBO channels, and Animal House was on. "Oh my God," I said. "I am, like, so tired of Debbie Gibson, you know?"

Edgar smirked a little. "I can actually agree with you there." So we end watching the movie for a while. And then, something, like, really weird happened. I think that it's, at least plausible, that Edgar, like, totally started playing footsie with me. I looked at him when he started doing it and he turned bright red. Guilty as charged.

"Well," he coughed. "Me and Alan better start heading back. I mean, it's almost midnight." They started climbing out of my bedroom window, and I shook my head.

"You guys can just, like, go down the steps. My parents don't care." So off they went, out of my room and the house. "Bye-e, guys," I called out as they left the house. I looked at my framed picture of Jack, with his brown hair waving in the wind and his teeth practically shining. I knew I had to face the facts. You might have enjoyed kissing Edgar, but you love Jack. And that's what I kept telling myself.