AN: I want to thank everyone for being patient with me. The desire to finish "Escaping Sol" before the final bell is really strong. I've been posting like crazy for that fic and leaving this one out. I'm trying to be fair, but I've got the writing bee in my bonnet and that's my long chapter fic, so I should cultivate that. On the other hand I missed the lighthearted feel of Emmett so much that chapter 21 of "ES" felt more like this story for a bit. I felt like the family needed a bit of laughter… and that I could not miss out on having these wonderful family moments.

Thanks again to my wonderful Beta Cullenista! My comma coach. The fantabulous writer of "Blue Moon Over Manka's." She's got my vote! Speaking of which...

On another note, this story has been nominated for a comedy award. I really don't know if it's "that" funny, but more lighthearted. If you guys think it's funny, that's awesome. Feel free to vote for me! Please go to my Profile page for the link and information to vote.

Conversations With Emmett

By Ranma15177

Chapter 4:

Water, Water Everywhere

I washed my hair and body slowly, conditioned my hair for roughly ten minutes, brushed my teeth so that absolutely nothing remained in my mouth but toothpaste and my mouth's respective parts (my poor bacteria had to have been killed), combed out my hair, put on Edward's shirt, combed my hair…

"Are you staying in there all night?" Edward asked through the door.

"Maybe," I responded.

Edward sighed and I heard a soft thump on the door just before he continued, "The bathroom floor will be a cold hard place to sleep."

"Don't care," I called back.

"Are you angry with me?" Edward asked sounding surprised. "Bella I promise you that Alice was joking with you and that I would never have peeked at you. Please come out."

"I know… but I like cold and hard. You're also forgetting the fluffy luxury of your bathmat," I answered with my own sigh. I wasn't coming out right now. Not until I was sure that I wouldn't spontaneously combust from embarrassment.

Edward interrupted, "It was an accident. I'm sorry. Please come back out. I didn't intend for you to feel uncomfortable. I won't bring it back up… we can pretend it never happened!"

That made me throw open the door. "Am I really that hard to look at?"

"No!" Edward had fallen into the room a bit when I moved the door and I realized that soft thump had been him putting his forehead against the door. "I just don't want you to feel embarrassed. I've never been more jealous of the ability to drink water before in my life."

Jealous of drinking? My brain kicked back into focus and my mouth, which had no saliva in it anyway thanks to my rigorous mouth maintenance, went dry like Phoenix in the summer. It was a dry heat. I couldn't even choke out a real response. I think my mouth might have been open but I couldn't speak through the shock I was in. I was too busy envisioning Edward… drinking…

"Oh, now I've offended you!" Edward took my hands and I wondered where his head was at. Offended? I'd never felt more desirable and completely turned-on by the concept of water. He spoke again, "not to mention…"

"No… I'm fine," I interrupted in a strangled response through my parched vocal chords. Wonderful! I mentally rolled my eyes. I sounded like an utter retard. My fiancée had just essentially told me he wanted to lick water off my naked body and I was "fine." Why couldn't I ever say anything sexy? I was doomed to spend my life, and maybe even my afterlife, sounding like I was mentally deficient if Edward was involved.

"Forgive me for everything? I don't want you to think I'm some sort of cad, and both of those moments seem to point in that direction…" Edward spoke quietly, as if he wanted only me to hear the confession. Maybe he did?

Maybe even in a house full of vampires where there were no secrets to be had we could have this awkward moment all to ourselves. Alice wouldn't tell anyone right?

"Edward saw your goodies… didn't he?" Emmett to the rescue; I would hate to think that everyone in the house couldn't enjoy this moment of embarrassment as a family. My future brother-in-law stood just over Edward's shoulder and smiled as big as he possibly could. Inside I withered from total humiliation. Everyone knew, and that meant that our visitors did too. Unless by some miracle…

"Tanya says that you can compare and contrast to see who you would rather be with now," Emmett continued. Nope… miracle safely averted.

Edward snarled. "Go away Emmett."

Emmett gave a nod and spoke again as he started to leave the room. "Sure, but since you came back early you should get some kind of satisfaction. Something to drink? Like a tall… cool… glass…"

"Emmett," I growled.

"OF…" Emmett continued over me.

"Stop it!" I yelled.

"…water," Emmett whispered. I all but leapt forward while Edward held me back. I'm not really sure what I would have done to him… but I wanted revenge. I found myself clawing at open air as Edward held back a flailing me and Emmett laughed and ran out of the room.

"Jasper! I might want to change my bet!" Emmett's voice boomed through the house. "She's gonna' be a hellcat!"

"Too late!" Jasper called back. "I'm psychic about these things."

"No… I'm psychic… you're both idiots," Alice called out from somewhere else in the house.

I heard laughter from downstairs. This house was ridiculous.

"That was one of the things I wanted you to forgive me for." Edward set me gently back to my feet and looked incredibly regretful. "Emmett isn't picking on you… he's picking on me. He isn't doing it to hurt you."

"I know he's not," I whispered back. "It makes me mad when they pick on you too." I wandered into Edward's bedroom and lay down in the giant bed with the soft golden cover as Edward turned off the lights. "It isn't right for them to do that to you."

"No… it's their form of getting me back. It's turnabout love. It's fair play." He spoke softly as he crawled into bed next to me.

"How do you figure?" I asked with an incredulous face. The shadows in the room were long from the full moon that was out in the somehow cloudless Forks darkness. I could see a slight sparkle from Edward's skin as he laid his arm over my stomach and traced patterns over the flesh on my arm.

"Well… you know that I've always said that I was content in myself?" Edward prompted.

"Yes, but what does…" I began to ask quickly.

Edward interrupted, "I was always the one to point out the deficiency in being coupled. The burden of having another person to have to check with when you made decisions for yourself and the ridiculous things that people do in the name of making one other person happy. I railed against it. I was always loving and devoted to my family in most ways… but I was disrespectful to their relationships. I see that now. They are actually being very good about it. I just don't want you to be hurt. Now, I understand that I was lonely, and biding my time until there was you."

"Don't worry Edward. I'm a tough girl. I can take some well meaning tongue lashings." I winked at my play on words. Finally! I had said something leading and I didn't sound like I was mentally challenged.

Edward looked at me with a wicked grin and then laid his head on my chest to listen to my heartbeat. "You know… I could come with you tomorrow as well. There is nothing written in the books about future husbands not getting to see the flowers."

"YOU CAN'T COME!" Alice yelled from somewhere in the house.

"The great Alice-ini says no," I supplied not so helpfully, although there was a part of me that really wondered why…

"Yes… I heard," Edward said with a slight bitterness. "Emmett can come, but I can't. Where is the justice in this world?"

"It's gotta' be around here somewhere. Have you looked under the bed?" I asked dryly.

"No, but I have seen under the covers… and I was right. You look absolutely scandalous in all the right places in my shirts. I'm throwing out your sweats," Edward whispered against my stomach.

"Touch my bed clothes and die," I threatened.

"That's going to make a physical relationship with you very difficult." Edward spoke back laughing.

"How about you go and I stay here with your shirts," I prompted.

"YOU'RE COMING, SO GET OVER IT!" Alice yelled from somewhere below us.

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" Emmett yelled from somewhere downstairs.

"SHUT UP EMMETT!" I yelled back.

There was more laughter from downstairs.

"GO TO BED, BELLA!" Alice shouted.

Ridiculous!

"Get some sleep love…you have a whole day of that coming up," Edward joked.

"I take it all back. You are a horrible monster," I said glaring, "You're trying to give me nightmares."

"I'm only a monster if it works." Edward looked up at me and rolled over pulling me next to him. "I'll tell you if you talk about it."

"Thanks. I would hate to miss out on anything funny I might do," I whispered back in a tone that I hoped he would still pick up on.

"Sarcasm never sounded quite so sexy before. Tell me how you do it." Edward brushed my hair back and smiled.

"Well…" I was about to continue when Edward began to kiss me. I was sure it was the most passionate kiss he'd ever given me despite being within all of our boundaries. When I was thoroughly out of breath Edward moved down to my throat kissing and gently trailing his tongue along my throat before stopping at the hollow.

"As a note… there is no comparison. I don't even have to take a moment of contemplation," Edward breathed into my skin.

"You have a perfect memory," I reminded him.

"Yes…and every time I close my eyes now I'm going to see you in the shower." He gently opened the top button of my new sleep shirt and kissed between my breasts where my heart beat hard against my ribcage in response to his actions.

"Won't that get a little old?" I gasped.

"What do you think?" Edward came back up to kiss my lips and I melted into his embrace.

I thought I was never getting to sleep if he kept touching me like this. I thought it was time to throw the rules out the window. I thought it wouldn't take long for me to get all of my clothes off with one shirt and a pair of underwear on. We kissed until I was breathless again.

"YOU'RE GOING TO HATE YOURSELF IN THE MORNING IF YOU DON'T SLEEP NOW BELLA!" Alice absolutely howled from somewhere in the house. I picked up an almost imperceptible double meaning there, and pulled away from Edward.

"Thank you Alice," I said out loud in a normal voice.

"She heard you." Edward whispered.

"I know." I closed my eyes and Edward gently hummed my lullaby. I dreamt of water.

AN: I know what you're thinking right now. But Lauren, you say, Lauren! Bella hardly spoke to Emmett in this chapter! Yes indeed, but everything they said revolved around things that Emmett said. That's how I'm getting out of that one. : )