The next couple of days passed as well as the first afternoon. Hallit treated me kindly, answering all of my questions-I had many, naturally-and giving me full control whenever possible. Since it was still unfamiliar, and even upsetting, for her to take full control, she suggested ways of coping with this. One method was known as "loose control", where she would be the one operating my body, but maintain a loose hold on my mind so that I could "intervene" when I wanted. Hence the term "loose control". She maintained that it would be too risky to do this when we were around her fellow Yeerks, especially at the Yeerk Pool or in the presence of any of her higher ups, which I understood completely.
(We can start this after I feed and after we have left the Yeerk Pool,) she told me, referring to implementing "loose control".
We were about to leave my apartment for her to feed for the first time since she had entered my mind. Yeerks, I learned, had to feed every three days, but seventy two hours was the maximum amount of time a Yeerk could last without Kandrona rays. Hunger set in around two and a half days, so that was when Yeerks scheduled their feeding. There was some flexibility for Yeerks whose hosts were part of "family units", because maintaining their host's cover was more important than adhering to their Yeerk feeding schedule. As a result, most Yeerks with these hosts ended up feeding closer to every two days.
This would hardly be a problem with me. I had never been in any romantic relationship with a man or a boy, and I had no plans to start one. Not that there was much opportunity in my line of work to meet decent guys-most of my coworkers were female, and dating a customer was an easy way to get fired. Even when I had joined The Sharing, it had been more to make friends than to find a suitable spouse.
Hallit seemed to agree with my conclusions. Certainly, my remaining single kept things relatively simple for her. Additionally, there was little chance of me becoming pregnant, which would ensure the following nine months of her life (plus the following few) would be as close to hell on Earth for a Yeerk as was possible to get. At least, that's what they thought of it.
Anyway, Hallit took control as she moved my body out of my apartment, then towards the mall which contained the McDonalds where she would state the password to obtain entrance into the pool.
I had, perhaps naively, believed that the Yeerk Pool was some sort of large swimming pool, much like the ones at fitness centers. No markings to designate the depth of the pool or anything like that, but still, a large swimming pool. Likewise, I imagined that everyone would be waiting along the sidelines, perhaps sitting in chairs, as their Yeerks swam. Again, like a fitness center pool, except the only occupants of the pool itself would be Yeerks.
(It's not quite like that,) Hallit told me now, after crossing the first of several streets.
(How's that?) I asked her, hoping that she would send me some pictures.
(Well, the pool itself is circular, and it's very large, because it needs to provide for thousands of Yeerks. Additionally, there is a recreation area for hosts such as yourself, but it's in a separate location. Behind doors. I've never had hosts in the main area, and I won't show you the area that the Taxxons feed in, because it would give you nightmares. So, when you're in the human area, it will be the first time that I will "see" it. Through your eyes in your memory, of course.)
I recalled that both of Hallit's previous hosts had been involuntary. Which, as she had told me, had been a foolish choice on their part. Hallit treated me well, and gave me control when it was possible, but this was because she knew I wouldn't rebel. Still, even if I had been involuntary, she wouldn't have hurt me-just tried to keep me in check so as to maintain her cover. That being said, there were Yeerks who resorted to harsh means when they needed to keep an involuntary human in check. The ones who did it for recreational purposes were few...but there was only so much a Yeerk could do when their host was determined to fight.
I knew that Hallit had been relieved, very relieved, to receive me as a voluntary host. After dealing with two humans-and ones that were considerably older than I was-who refused to accept and try to understand her, it probably felt like a small miracle to have a host who did not object to her being there.
(So, the voluntary hosts are separated from the Yeerk Pool,) I confirmed. (And the involuntary ones?)
Hallit sighed. (We have to contain them, keep them from escaping and spreading lies about us to your government. We don't hurt them, but the Hork-Bajir guards keep them in cages while their Yeerk feeds. Most of them use the time to make a lot of noise. Screaming, crying, swearing, that sort of thing. A few accept this without saying much, but they're still not voluntary, and could not be reclassified-because they would still attempt escape.)
I let out my own mental sigh. The way things were handled was not exactly surprising, after all. The Yeerks had to keep their existence a secret, and it wasn't like they could just let the involuntary humans go and wipe their memory. Even they didn't have access to this kind of technology. Besides, freeing the Hork-Bajir would be impossible, because humans would be sure to notice a seven foot bladed creature walking around the highway. No matter how gentle they were without their Yeerk.
(You'll hear and witness the involuntary hosts while we wait in line, and then again when you wait in another line before I reinfest you,) Hallit told me, gently. (For the rest of the time, you'll be in the recreation area, and I imagine that the door is thick enough to block out the noise. You'll be able to relax, perhaps read a book or watch TV, while you wait for me.)
(How long does it take you to feed?) I asked her.
(Roughly two hours, but longer if it's been more than sixty-five hours since I last fed.) She sent me a mental smile. (Which will be highly unlikely, with you as me host.)
(Okay.) I would have taken a deep breath, had I been in control, but of course, I wasn't. (And we do this every three days?)
(Yes, Rachel. You'll find it overwhelming at first, but I imagine that you will soon adjust to it.)
I sent a mental nod. (Okay,) I said, again.
We walked in silence for the rest of the way. I could feel Hallit's hunger growing, even though she was trying to hide it from me. If this was what it was like after just sixty hours, I didn't want to think about what it would be like after sixty-five...
We entered the mall, and then the fast food location. Hallit spoke the necessary phrase, and I did a mental double take at hearing her use my voice. I was relieved that she was in control of my face, because my eyebrows probably would have shot up, or something.
The staircase to the Yeerk Pool was long and dark. I could hear the screams shortly after Hallit began the descent down. They were awful, and we both flinched mentally, but we could hardly go back without her starving.
As I'd said before, we'd become friends at this point.
The screams grew as we approached the bottom of the stairs, and once we were in line, I could see firsthand how massive the place was. Cages were all over the place, filled with humans and Hork-Bajir. It was hard not to feel sick when I saw how young some of the people were. I'd expected adults, and maybe some teenagers, but there were also kids. Kids!
(How...?) I asked Hallit, feeling sick.
(I know,) she told me, and I could feel her anger. (Most of them belong to parents who have already joined The Sharing. No one is happy about it, not even the Yeerks. Biologically, they're too young to be taken, because we need hosts who have grown and developed to an extent. These humans will probably be stunted, certainly mentally, but probably physically.) She sent me a hopeless shrug. (But we're at war with the Andalites, and we need to do whatever we can to protect ourselves.)
Her words didn't help much. I still couldn't get over the fact that kids as young as four were being taken, losing their bodies and their autonomy, for the rest of their lives. It was one thing for me or another adult. Even a teenager could understand it. But a kid?
(Most of them were assigned to decent Yeerks,) Hallit told me, gently. (Not traitors, of course, but ones who are known for being...soft...on their hosts.)
I hoped that she was right, and she focused my eyes forward, on the line. We could still hear the screams, of course, but we couldn't see the faces of the kids.
(If we succeed in securing hosts for everyone, it's likely that most involuntary hosts will be let go,) she told me. (With your population, it would take decades for us to reproduce enough to sustain it. And at the rate of your reproduction, you will outnumber us. So, there will be no need to take humans who object to us-and the ones we do with in will all be adults.)
I let out a mental breath. (So, this is all temporary.)
(Most likely, yes. If the Andalites don't kill us off.)
That made me feel a little better. Not a lot, since there were kids still being enslaved. But, it would end after the Yeerks won and the Andalites were defeated. If for no other reason than kids were far from ideal hosts.
Things would work out, in the end.
We were now the fifth from the front.
(Okay, now, keep your head still until you've seen my body go into the pool. I will tell them that you're a first time voluntary host, and the guard will direct you where to go. They will also send a message via intercom-inside the voluntary area-that there is a newcomer, and someone will show you around. When I have finished feeding, they will send a message via the intercom that you are to come and join the second line. If you like, another human can show you where to go, but it should be fairly simple. Anyway, there will probably be others joining you for that line. Then, lower your head to the pool and keep it very still until I have entered. You will know when you start to lose control. After that, I will take over...and we will be finished with the Pool for this cycle. Simple enough?)
(I think so,) I told her. (What happens if I'm in the bathroom or something, and I miss the announcement?)
(Don't worry,) Hallit reassured me, speaking gently. (That happens fairly often. They'll repeat it again in a few minutes.)
It was our turn now.
(Okay. Have fun feeding,) I told her.
(You, too,) she told me, laughing a little. (See you soon.)
"First time voluntary host," she told the guard. "She'll need a tour."
The guard said a few words in another language-which I later learned was Galard-and then switched to English. "Of course," he (or she?) said.
She knelt down, and I could feel her leave my head. I started to feel sad, even empty, as her grip on my mind loosened. Within a few minutes, I had complete control, but I missed her voice. Her kindness.
I told myself it would just be for a few hours, and hadn't I survived without her for the past twenty years?
Still, it felt like losing a close friend. Which, of course, was what she was.
I got up, slowly, and the guard pointed me in the direction of the the voluntary area. I saw the dark set of doors, with two panes of glass in the middle.
I nodded, wondering if he understood this human signal, and then thanked him before heading in that direction.
No other guards stopped me, of course, but there was a small part of me that was relieved not to be seized by one of them and dragged to a cage. The screams were deafening, and a few humans yelled insults at me as I passed them. They probably considered me a traitor. Frankly, I thought that they were just acting like spoiled toddlers. I could understand kids yelling, and maybe humans who had been tortured by cruel Yeerks, but I doubted that most of the people in the cages fit that description. Anger filled me. Yeerks just wanted to have access to our senses, to defend themselves against the Andalites, and my race was behaving like a bunch of spoiled children.
Maybe, there was a better way. Maybe, the Yeerks could have made their presence known, and asked for our help. But how were they to know that we wouldn't kill them all off, like the Andalites wanted to? Secrecy made the most sense for them. Even if, as I could see, they were not all innocent of cruelty.
Well, Hallit had been nothing except kind and gentle with me, and no one I cared about was in danger of being taken against their will. Besides, it was unlikely that involuntary infestation would last, long term, on our planet.
I entered the room with little guilt about being a voluntary Controller.
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