I don't own Hunger Games. Please review! I will update as soon as possible!

I go up the elevator to my floor. I would be crying except the thing is I can't feel anything. I am completely numb and emotionless. I wonder if this is what Finnick meant when he said you learn to deal with it. I walk in my apartment Haymitch is sitting on my couch. He gives me the worst pity look I have ever seen. I tell him to leave and then I go to take a shower.

I strip my dress off and realize I don't have a bra or underwear on. This must have been why people were staring at me the whole way up. I look in the mirror and see another reason. My once nice braid is now a knotted mess. My red lipstick is smeared and so is my eyeliner. I look at my reflection and sigh. This is not Katniss Everdeen from district 12, this is Katniss Everdeen capitol whore.

I step in the shower and turn up the water to boiling. It stings my fresh bruises on my hips and chest. I shampoo and condition my hair and then I wash my body. I scrub so hard my skin becomes raw. No matter how hard I scrub I feel just a dirty. Will this feeling ever go away. Soon I finish scrubbing when I realize it's not helping.

I sink down to the shower floor. The hot water beats off my back. I look at the clock and realize I have been here for an hour but I still have no desire to get up so I just sit here. I think about the games and the horrors but mostly I think about Peeta still I refuse to cry. I also think about Finnick.

I hear my front door open up and people walk in. I figure it's just my stylists so I don't bother getting up. "I will go get her." Says a voice I don't recognize. The door opens and a girl who looks a little older than me walks in. She steps right in the shower and turns the water off. Her eyes flicker over my bruises but she doesn't say anything. "Come on you have to get up or you will turn into a prune." She chuckles offering me a hand. She grabs my robe and hands it to me. After I put it on we walk out.

In my living room Finnick is standing there. He gives me a warm smile but his eyes are full of sorrow. "Katniss this is Johanna Mason from district seven, she won the 71st Hunger Games." Finnick said to me as he pointed to the girl who had just got me. She waved and smiled. "You look like you could use a drink." She laughed. I nodded that is just what I needed.

We decided to go down to Finnick's apartment. When we arrived there was a full bar set up. "Damn Finnick! Do you do this often?" Johanna asked sauntering over to the bar and pouring herself a large shot glass of vodka. She poured one for Finnick and me also. "To surviving!" Finnick raised his glass. Johanna and I followed and cheered. We downed that shot and quickly had another.

Soon we were all laughing and I felt somewhat normal again. "So Katniss have you fucked Finnick yet?" Johanna slurred. "It's a great ride." My face turned beet red and I didn't know what to say. I must have been stuttering pretty badly because Finnick spoke up. "Johanna! Stop, don't ask those kinds of questions the first time you meet someone." Finnick scolded her.

"Oh I see." Johanna winked at me. I felt my face flush even more. "Well I will leave you two alone." She laughed even more and the stumbled her way out of the apartment. "See you soon Katniss!" She yelled from the hallway. Johanna was loud and unspoken but I liked her probably for those reasons.

"I'm sorry for her. I guess she can't hold her alcohol that well." Finnick apologized. "No its fine I like her. It felt normal for a little bit. I think I'm going to go." I stood up to leave but my head started spinning and I opened my eyes and I was on the ground. I started to laugh uncontrollably. That caused Finnick to starts also.

"Girl on fire can't handle her booze." He laughed and came over to help me. "I don't think you can make it up to your bed." He laughed as he scooped me up. His arms felt so warm and so safe. I felt a pang of sadness for Peeta but Finnick was so strong and so protective and I was so drunk I forgot.

I looked up and we were in his bedroom. He had is windows set on the ocean. There was a sun setting on the horizon. It was beautiful. "Do you miss it?" I asked. "Miss what?" He looked confused. "The ocean." I answered. He looked longingly at his window. "Yes I miss it every day. I miss the gentle salty breeze that blows off of it. I miss the sand in between my toes. I mostly miss the sense of freedom it gave me when I was on my parent's boat. I wanted to be a fisherman when I got home. That never happened." His eyes sparkled as he talked about the ocean.

I crawled over the bed to where he was laying and kissed him. This wasn't the feverishly passionate kiss that we first shared. This was a slow kiss filled with passion. "Sorry I had to." I said embarrassed. "You can do that anytime you like." He grinned. He grabbed one of his plain white t-shirts off the floor and threw it to me. I was glad to change so I threw it on. I forgot about my bruises but Finnick's eyes told me he seen them.

He disappeared I got a little nervous. He came back into the room holding a container of gel. Slowly he lifted up my shirt and tenderly he took the gel and applied it on my bruises. "This will help. They should be gone tomorrow." He continued to apply the gel. I felt electricity with his every touch on my body.

When he was done we curled up together on his bed. "Is Johanna a umm." I didn't know how to word it. "No she was at one time." Finnick knew what I was going to ask. "Why not?" I was curious maybe I could get out of this also. "Well Johanna didn't believe that Snow would kill her family she thought he was bluffing. When she went back home no one was there. He killed them all. Now he has nothing to hang over her head." Finnick shook his head. I couldn't believe that Johanna's family was dead. That's why she's so outspoken. Snow would just kill her if he had a problem and not her family. We laid there in silence for the rest of the night and I fell asleep in Finnick's arms. For once no nightmares haunted my dreams.