I smiled kindly at the woman (Or as I like to say, wow-man) sitting across from me, my eyes twinkling for all they were worth. But this time it wasn't for entertainment purposes. It was because I was in some deep crap and I have no clue how to get out of it. Yes, I could just teleport out or something but I really like this meatbag and don't want it to be thrown into Azkaban. That would be a waste of a good puppet, and this one even volunteered! The again, I did appear as a angel and promised if he let me use his body he would go straight to heaven. He had agreed immediately (Cough* sucker * Cough), little had the idiot know that everyone was reborn after death. I'm still not sure how Dumbledore knew that, but that guy knew everything. I would have preffered him as my puppet but I couldn't find his alternate anywhere, he's probably dead. My guess is he choked on his precious lemon drops.

"Give me one reason I shouldn't throw you into Azkaban."

I smiled a toothless smile, my pink gums very handsome if I do say so myself. Even I had the woman shaking with lust, her eyes sparkling with something that made me fear for my innocence.

"Because you can't do that without a trial?"

My gummy smile widened at her glare, she was no doubt furious with me for foiling her evil plans. Now that I really looked at her and her ruff exterior and orange hair I came to a realization that made me break down in laughter, my fist pounding against the metal table tears of mirth streaming down my face.

The glare intensified.

And the buzzcut! Oh god, the buzzcut she had! I would have been rolling on the floor if not for being stuck to the chair with a simple but suprisingly strong sticking charm. I gasped in deep breaths of air, attempting to regain some dignity but the sight of her shaved head and narrowed eyes just made me start laughing like a loon yet again.

"Gah! My back!"

My hand flew to my back where a unbearable pain emenated from, was this what they called getting old? It was like that commercial I once saw, with the old lady who was collapsed on the ground. If I recall correctly she had yelled 'Help, I've fallen and can't get up', I love that video. But now is not the time to remenice about adds I saw on the web while waiting for my funny cat video to be played.

"Help me!"

I glared at the middle aged wow-man that wasn't so wow right now. I pointed my cane at her looking like a actual old man, with my sparkling bald head and gigantic elears (Fun fact; your ears and nose never stop growing!). But the lady slowly backed away, quickly slipping out of the room despite my protest.

Once she was gone I sighed sitting straight up my spine cracking into place, I really needed to take better care of this body. I stared at the wrinkled skin on my hand pondering if I really should take this meatbag out of the closet more often. Nah, it was going to die soon anyway.

I stood from my chair with a content sigh, my spine snapping back into place with several cracks. And as I stared at the door the woman who I knew to be Ginny Weasley had left through I was presented with two options.

Option one was to get the hell out of here like any sane person would. Option two was too go explore the ministry of this new and exiting world. Option one was clearly ruled out for I know I'm slightly insane, just a teensy bit.

Option two is is!

I opened the door (With magic of course) my cane held in my right hand. The hall that was set before me was filled with these white cages of tourment and paperwork, also known as the cubicles of doom.

I walked down the hall smiling a friendly old man smile at any people I passed. I leaned heavily against my wooden walking stick the wood tapping on the wooden floor. Finally I reached my destination, my goal being the elevator at the end of the hall. I stepped inside the doors sliding shut behind me with a little ding. I was suprised by the multitude of floors inside this one small building, you gotta love magic. I mulled over it for a moment before I shrugged pressing a random but then a brilliant idea struck me like a bag of rocks. I grinned before I set to pressing every single number, all the while cackling evily.

Sadly no one was there to listen to my laugh, and they were missing out. My laugh sounds like music and anyone lucky enough to hear it should thank me for my generosity.

I hummed along to the catchy elevator music pressing the close button whenever someone tried to get inside the moving metal death trap.

I grew bored at the fifth stop and third persons hand shut inside the metal doors. I yawned glancing down at the fancy watch on my wrist (I keep forgetting that this guy is loaded) seeing it was almost two in the afternoon. The order is probably freaking out... but when have I ever cared about what they do? So I stayed on the moving metal death trap, just to spite them.

It was on the twentieth floor that someone slipped inside the elevator without me noticing, it was only when I looked down that I saw the invader. A fat red headed guy that looked to be about a foot shoter then me pressed the first floor button. He rounded on me as if he sensed my gaze, his eyes narrowed in a glare.

"Whatya looking at old man?"

I broke down in a fit of coughing to cover the hysterical fit of giggles that assulted me. He was as bad as his sister! Tears formed in the corners of my eyes as my 'coughing' became hacking in a attempt to smother the laugh when the short man I knew to be Ron Weasley. It looks like his eating habits finally caught up to him. Oh and the accent! Where did he get a accent like that?

The whole time the short man had been staring at me oddly, looking as if he wanted to bolt. He probably would have if he wasn't trapped inside here with me. I'm not sure if he was worried for me or if he was worried about catching whatever I had, but with the way he was looking it was probably the latter.

"A-Are you okay?"

I cleared my throat straightening my shirt, I picked my cane up from where it had fallen waving of the mans concerns.

"I'm fine."

Even though he stared at me doubtfully he didn't hesitate leaving the metal contraption walking as fast as he could without making it seem like he was running. Well not walking, per say more like waddling. I swear I could feel the vibrations from my spot.

I tapped on my chin in thought, wondering what I should do now that one of my hopes for a good show was gone. I didn't have a choice in the matter it seemed, the metal doors sliding shut on there own. The little numbers that displayed the floors I was on continued counting down, soon I was on the lowest floor. The Department of Mysteries.

I stepped out of the way for a average looking office worker slipping out of the metal box with a jovial smile at the man. The rude young man just scowled at me from his spot near the number thingy. The doors shut taking the scowling face away from my sight, it was a good thing too for I fear if I had to stare at his ugly mug for much longer I might have cursed him.

Forcefully pushing the thoughts of sour ministry workers and red headed weasels from my mind I took in the sight before me. The hallway that was lined with doors was dim in the creepy kind of way, never seeming to end. I waltzed forward throwing open the first door to my right.

A pair of beedy black eyes stared back from its spot above what looked to be a human corpse, it bore bloody teeth and what looked to be a smile the red substance dripping from its sharp teeth. I slowly closed the door.

The next door hid a large room that had a large stone in the middle, a sword shining in the sunlight. Considering I was about a hundred feet underground I had no idea how the sun was shining of the golden hilt. I squinted in a attempt to make out the small letters that were etched into the golden hilt but I was only able to make out a few. Ecler? Xabler?

I shrugged moving onto the next door. Behind this one was a full sized jungle, a large temple in the distant rainforest. A monkey shrieked from its perch on a tree glaring at me, a brown blob held in its hand. I slammed the door shut in the nick of time, hearing the splatter of monkey feeces once the door was closed.

Behind door number four was the kind of lab you would find in a Sc-fi movie. People dressed in white loomed over what I belived to be an alian prodding it with there eveil docter tools. My eyes connected with one of the docters from my spot about twenty feet away. They waved there bloodied knife in greeting. Lets jut say I closed that door quickly.

It continued on like this for several hours, with me not giving up on my goal of seeing whta was inside of every door. On my journey I saw several things, some were burned into my brain for all eternity and others faded from my mind seconds after I saw them.

It was... interesting to say the least.

I leaned back sipping my apple juice from my pink crazy straw the warm sun shining down on my. The breeze ruffed my hair the sky colored in a pink and blue that reminded me of cotton candy. I smiled from my place in my comfortable beach chair the sand between my toes making me smile in content.

I took a long sip from my apple juice sighing in content. This was the life.

I grinned to myself the thoughts of the impending trip to my second favorite castle coming to mind and making the good day better. Watch out Hogwarts, here I come!