When I went down stairs to see why Bella was acting funny everyone was talking and giggling, then I turned the corner and I saw, "ALICE!" I jumped in her arms and hugged her as tight as I could pushing my mom away.

" whoa, Hi to you too. "Alice said peeling me off of her, with her cheerful smile gleaming in the dim light on the table.

"So how was your trip?" I asked still in Alice's face so happy that she is back.

"It was um...good. "Alice said with a laugh and looked at Jasper, I think if she could blush she would be so red. "How are you babe?" Alice asked sitting on a diner chair as If she could be sleepy.

I lifted my hand up to touch her cheek and showed her my depression and how much I wanted to see my Jacob, everything about the letter and how I still wanted to know so much that my parents are keeping me from knowing, like what imprinted means and why Jacob says his in love with me, and about what I did to that poor man.

"OH, Nessie I am so sorry". Alice said pulling me into a hug as if she felt my pain.

"I miss him a lot." I tried to choke out but my voice was drowning in my tears I was not sure if she could understand what I said but I knew that I could not live any longer with out him it was just not happening.

"I know I know." Alice whispered in my ear laying my head on her shoulder, I could not help but to be happy to smell her sweet perfume it was a smell I missed dearly.

"I do not know what do Alice I miss him like crazy and things are just not adding up...it is like I feel a hole in my chest and when ever Jacob is brought up a solid rock falls in it, it hurts." I said wiping my eyes and smearing eyeliner down my cheek but I didn't care.

"It will be ok, I mean you will make new friends." Alice said putting my hair up in a sloppy ponytail to get it out of my face now that I was all hot and sweaty from crying.

"WAIT your siding with them!" I yelled pulling away and looking around every one standing there watching my melt down as if it was television.

"Well they're your parents and they know what's best for you. "Alice explained looking at my dad then jasper to clam the mood. I hated when he did that it took a big effect on me for some reason.

"So you think me missing Jacob and not being able to see him is what's good for me, you think my feelings for him that i am confused about can just be left unexplained you think that every time I feel this anger I can just kill another person?" I said as I tried not to cry because of my confusion and pain I was betrayed by the one I trusted the most.

"I am sorry Renesmee there is nothing I can do they're your mom and dad honey. "Alice said trying to clam me down but it made me madder, way madder I threw a sharp look at Alice the rudest and most nasty look I could pull out of my self.

"Whatever... and don't call me honey." I said coldly as I ran up stairs almost falling because my vision was blurry from the tears.

I flopped on my bed knocking the wind out of my self most likely to have bruised my face, HA! That would be fun to explain "my bed attacked me" I said laughing at my joke but the smile faded, when I heard what they were talking about.

"So what did you tell her?"

"just the truth"

"so she knows about it all"

"well, I told her what she needed to know"

"ok well if that's what you think is good for her Bella then that's good"

there's more, how much more? I thought as I felt like I was going to puke and the tears were coming back, I did not want them to but I was hurt so bad and more I tried to find out what's going on more hurt I get. I curled up on my bed with the blankets around me like a shield. I slowly drifted to sleep I didn't noticed how sleepy I really was.