Break
It was light again.
This was worth it, all of it. She accepted this as she left her own shell before being suddenly thrown into confusion. All at once, she felt weightless. Her eyes met her foes, her home, those she might have considered her friends. She paused, touching her face. The glasses were no longer needed, and she could see again.
She saw them flail as they fell, taken down after tearing at her forces like wild dogs. There was something difficult about smiling now. This was worth it, wasn't it? It hurt, she remembered, but only just before that last moment. She felt something similar to heat as she drifted off. Perhaps the numbness altered everything she could recognize, or maybe those were the last remnants of the spell. Perhaps it was meant to feel like sleep.
This may have been a dream, after all. She watched and waited for a vivid scene, the next great moment. It didn't come. She took in a breath of nothing. They stumbled before her, bleeding to death, just as she had hoped. Surely somewhere nearby was her replacement ready to take command as flawlessly as she did.
Why did it hurt, then? Death was honorable, she was told long ago, but she knew she'd never die. Not before she accomplished her goals, anyway. Their lives were meant to be ruined, for they had waged destruction on her home before. Why did it hurt? They collapsed as they were shot, their hearts crushed to nothing.
She kneeled as she watched through new eyes, the wind finally calm around her. This wasn't worth it. When she lived, there was nowhere to go but up, and at the top, there was nothing more. She would see the end at the top.
She pulled at grass she had never touched before. It was as if for that moment, things stopped mattering.
Somewhere in the distance, a girl picked up a leaf to add to her collection. There was a woman holding the hand of someone close to her. She didn't know their stories, and they didn't know hers. Yet, they smiled so genuinely. She was willing to understand now.
She continued watching the enemies fall in droves, still silent. Suddenly, she broke, her hands finding her eyes and feeling more than sweat. This wasn't worth it, and it never was.