Early update :-) I decided to post chapter 4 today as it ends with a cliffhanger and I don't want to make all of you wait an entire week the new chapter... Another thing, if you are reading any of my other stories you know that it usually takes up to 20 chapters until the lemons start... well not in this story because this chapter has a lemon. I know that in reality what leads up to the lemon is not how it would happen, but since this is fiction, let's just assume it does

Another thing Elena is not going to make an appearance in this story, she will be mentioned, but not before part 2 of the story and only in flashbacks...

Day 4 - The Journal

I have spent all of today holed up in my apartment researching BDSM. To say that I am intrigued would be an understatement. I know I shouldn't think like that, but I have never read something more sexy and at the same time scary in all my life. From my experience with Peter I know that I like a little pain inflicted during sex or foreplay. Like getting my ass spanked while being fucked doggy style or getting wax poured on my nipples. Of course BDSM is more extreme, but there are limits and rules.

Just do it Ana. A small voice in my head coaxes me and I can't stop myself any longer. From my research I know that the BDSM club Emma visited is not far away and though it is a private club I want to go and see if this for me. I get up and walk into my closet to pick an outfit. In the end I pick black lace panties and a matching bra, a short black lace dress, black silk stockings which I attach to my garterbelt and black skyscraper heels. I leave my long hair open so it falls in silky waves all the way down to my hips and use just a little mascara and nude lip gloss. Before I get the chance to over think this I put my coat on take my purse and leave my apartment.

I keep telling myself that this will just be research for my book and maybe I will find someone who knew Emma. Though deep inside I know that I want to experience what she has experienced. As I arrive outside the Black Satin I just stare at the building. It looks like a normal building, well what was I expecting; people covered in leather from head to toe and a gang bang on the parking lot? I shake my head annoyed with myself, because one I have no idea how to get in and two, I have no idea if I actually find to courage to really do this.

"New?" I turn around when I hear the voice of a woman saying this and find myself in front of a very elegantly dressed woman with long red hair.

"I umm ... I don't know" I stutter.

"Ahh, so you are a newbie or just curious and want to know if BDSM is for you" she laughs and I nod embarrassed.

"Well, it's your lucky day, I'm Faith. I own the Black Satin do you want to talk inside and don't worry no one is going to do anything unless you ask for it." she asks and I nod again and follow her inside and into an office in the back of the club.

"Sit" she says and without thinking I plant my butt on the nearest chair.

"Looks like you can be submissive if you want to" Faith chuckles and sits down to facing me.

"So, before we talk any further I need to see your driver's license. You look young and I am not going to show you anything if you are not at least 21 which is the age minimum for anyone who wants to become a member of my club.

"Okay, sure" I murmur get my ID and show it to her.

"Good, Anastasia, hmm I like the name. So tell me first, do you prefer men or women?"

"Men."

"And you want to become a submissive?"

"I ... I'm not sure. I did a lot of research in the last days and I'm intrigued by it, but I'm not sure if it is for me."

"Have you ever done anything that is even remotely kinky before?"

"Well, nothing extreme, just a little bit of spanking, candle wax, being blindfolded or tied up, things like that."

"That's a start. If you have done research have you thought about your own hard limits." she takes a notepad and a pen while I think about it all the things I have done research on in the last days.

"No bloodplay or fireplay, no fisting of any kind. No urination or defecation or anything that has to do with that kind of stuff. No animals or kids involved and nothing that has to do with using a taser on me or something like that and no breath control."

"I see, well you definitely have done your research. What about punishment like whipping or caning?"

"I have no terms of reference for that, I'm sure it won't be pleasant, but I wouldn't put it as a hard limit without trying it, though again not to the point where I end up needing medical attention or leave with permanent marks on my body."

"Good, so I have one very important questions, do you want to be a submissive or a slave?"

"Submissive, I don't think that I would be able to live with a set of rules all day every day, but I would very much enjoy it to be sexually submissive and give up control to someone else."

She looks at me for a while as if she is deep in thoughts and finally speaks up. "You know Anastasia, I think I know someone who could be a good first Master for you. I'm not sure if he would be interested in training a newbie, but I could give him a call and see if he wants to meet you." This is it, am I going to do this or not?

"Okay" I answer before I my inner coward takes over and she leaves the room for about five minutes and returns.

"Are you on birth control Anastasia?"

"Yes, the pill, I also have a clean bill of health with me."

"Okay, so I talked to the Dom I had in mind for you and he is interested though under one condition."

"What does he want?"

"He wants a test session, here tonight. The thing is the guy is very private and he doesn't want you to know who he is until he decides if he wants to take you on as his new sub or not. So, it would go like this. I will show you one of the dungeons here, you will undress until you are only in your panties and I'm going to blindfold you. He won't talk to you so you have to trust everything that he is doing to you. You will have safe words and I have already told him your hard limits which he will not cross. So, you want to try or not?"

"Yes" Faith smiles hearing my answer and leaves the room again. Oh man, I am going to have sex with a total stranger tonight and I feel butterflies in my stomach and though I'm nervous I am aroused at the same time.

When she returns she leads me into a dungeon with blood-red walls. There is a bed with satin sheets, a spanking horse, a cross, and something that looks like a throne. In one corner is a huge wooden table and attached to the wall are all sorts of kinky implements and chains. I don't know why, but something about this room really turns me on.

"Here use this hair tie, you should braid your hair so it won't get caught in anything." I quickly do it and undress until I'm only in my panties.

"What are your safe words, Anastasia. I need to know them, so I can give them to your Master."

I know I can either choose my own safe words or use red and yellow. Red and yellow, I don't know if I will remember that, I need something that I will remember no matter what.

"White wine to signal that I'm about to reach my limits and books to signal that I want the scene to stop." I say confidently and Faith smiles.

"White wine and books it is. Don't ever forget those, they are your safety net. Something like this is unusual enough, we don't want anything to happen because you forgot your safe words.

"I won't."

"Good, a few tips to make this easier for you. As there will be no talking he will probably use your braid or arm to direct you through the room. If he grabs your arm sharply or tugs hard on your braid it means to stop what ever you are doing at the moment, most likely. He will give me some rules for you to follow and I will tell them to you when I come in to blindfold you. Once the scene is over he will leave the dungeon and talk to me, you can take the blindfold off once he leaves and then wait for me."

"Okay" I murmur and Faith leaves me in there. I explore a little looking at different sex toys, floggers, whips and canes. I don't think that I want to be caned, but I won't dismiss it without trying. Who knows maybe I really enjoy pain?

I try to see this as an adventure, after all I wanted no strings attached, so what could be less strings attached than to fuck with a complete stranger whom I can't even see, because I will be blindfolded. Shit, why does the thought make me wet? Okay, I admit it, having sex with a complete stranger was always a fantasy of mine.

"He is here" I turn around to Faith who is now holding an eyemask and a some papers in her hand and I walk over to the door.

"Your Master wants to know if you insist on condoms. He will wear one if you want him to, but since you are clean and on birth control he would like to have you without a condom. Here is his bill of health." I look at it and check for a name but it's obliterated with a black marker pen.

"Oh, about that I'm allergic to latex, so since he is clean I'm fine with it. Just if he wants to use toys on me nothing made of latex please or else I will get a nasty looking rash where ever it has touched me."

"I will tell him and don't worry, I know your Master is religious about his health."

"Good, I'm too, and I'm religious about taking my pill, so we should be fine."

"Okay, here is what he wants from you. You are not allowed to talk or make any sound. If you how ever at some point do make any noise he will spank you. He knows you are a newbie so he will start slowly, no canes, whips or belt today, this is something to work up to. The second rule is that you are not allowed to orgasm until he gives you the signal that you are allowed to do so. The signal is he will take the nipple clamps that he is going to put on you off. If you fail and orgasm before you are allowed there will be punishment, he will spank you with a paddle 6 times every time you fail to hold back your orgasm. If he spanks you with the paddle you are allowed to talk, but only in so far that you have to count each strike and thank him."

"Thank him?"

"Yes, you count like this. One, thank you Sir. Two, thank you Sir. Understand?"

"Yes."

"Okay, tell me what I have told you."

"I am not allowed to make any noise or he will spank me with his hand. I am not allowed to climax until he takes the nipple clamps he is going to put on me off. If I come I he will spank me with a paddle six times, I have to count and thank him for it."

"Very good. What are your safe words Anastasia?"

"White wine and books."

"Good. Kneel by the door, sit back on your heels and spread your legs a little, rest your arms on your legs, palms up. Do you know why the palms must be up, Anastasia?"

"Yes, it indicates that I am willing to participate in the scene and willing to have sex."

"Right, so don't forget your safe words and first and foremost, enjoy this. I will be with you once your Master has left the dungeon." Faith puts the mask over my eyes and I can't see a thing.

I hear her leave and take a couple deep breaths trying to calm my nerves and then the door opens. This is it, now I'm going to find out if I can be submissive or not.

I hear naked feet pat over the wooden floor and some of the drawers open and close. I can hear my heart pumping and I don't think I was ever that nervous and aroused at the same time. I hear the foot steps come closer and stop right in front of me. A large hand grabs mine and pulls me to my feet. I stay still and he walks around me slowly before I feel him kneel down right behind me and he slowly pulls my panties down and I step out of them.

I hear him walk around the room again and after some clicking music fills the room and I have to bite my lower lip to stop myself from giggling. Really, out of all the songs he could have picked he is playing Closer by 9 Inch Nails. For some reason his choice of music makes me relax instantly. The guy is playing with me. Well, let's see what you got, big boy!

About two minutes later I find myself tied spread eagle to the bed and he is licking and sucking my nipple, pulling and twisting the other one between his index finger and thumb. Oh shit, I should have told Faith to tell him that my nipples are a hot wire to my pussy which means I can orgasm from this alone. But I somehow manage to keep it together without making any sound and when he attaches the nipple clamps to me I have to bite my lips to stop myself from moaning. They sting, but at the same time it is really hot. He moves between my legs and rubs my clit while pushing something that feels like small balls inside me, hmm that feels good.

I feel him get of the bed and then I feel the soft strands of what must be a flogger gliding over my skin making me shiver in anticipation of what is to come. One second they are gone and the next the hit my left arm, then my right followed by the insides of my thighs, my belly and then my pussy. He repeats the pattern over and over and though it stings, it also arouses me makes me needy and especially when ever the flogger hits my pussy it gets really hard not to moan loudly.

Finally I hear the flogger drop and the mattress shifts telling me that he is on the bed again. He lifts my head and puts it on a pillow, so my head is a little elevated and his thumb pushes my lower lip down, so I open my mouth. I feel him kneel over my chest and next he slowly inserts his cock into my mouth.

Wow, he is huge and I have to open my mouth as wide as I can to allow him to thrust into my mouth while I lick and suck his erection. Hmm, he tastes good fresh and a little salty I muse while I suck on his dick and I wish I could show him my special talent, which is no gag reflex at all, but in this position and with him cupping my head with both hands I can't take him in further as he wants me to.

While he keeps fucking my mouth he lets go of my head and I hear a faint clicking noise before the balls he pushed into me start to vibrate. Really dude? Are you crazy to do that while I have your dick in my mouth and make me fight my orgasm now? Well, you better hope I won't forget not to grit my teeth or you might lose some inches of that big cock. I think as I try to focus on sucking him off, not reaching orgasm and not biting his dick off at the same time.

As the sensation between my legs becomes too much to manage I try to close my legs and squirm, but I can't I'm tied up. He pulls his dick out my mouth and before I know what is happening he pulls the balls out of me and rams his cock into my pussy. I grind my head into the pillow somehow managing not to scream in pleasure feeling him deep inside me. Okay, now I believe it, size does matter. Peter was more on the short side, making it hard for me to reach orgasm through penetration alone, but this guy ... holy hell I could orgasm right about now if I was allowed to. Instead I have to fight it while he fucks me so hard I want to scream and moan in pleasure, but I can't.

Oh god, how am I supposed to stop my orgasm if he keeps fucking me like this. I can't ... oh fuck, I try to think of something else anything to keep my mind busy, but it doesn't help all I can think off is the heavenly feeling of being fucked hard by a guy who really knows how to fuck. And then it is too late. I reach my climax with a scream. I hear him growl and feel him jerk inside me as he finds his own release and for a moment I really wish that I could wrap my arms and legs around him to hold him close, but of course, I can't.

Once I have calmed down from my orgasm and my breathing is normal again I feel him remove my restraints and he pulls me to my feet, leads me through the room and ... oh shit, puts me on the spanking horse. Before I have the time to react he cuffs my wrists and ankles to it and I'm helpless with my ass on display for him. Fuck, not only did I come, but also I screamed, so this means he will spank me with his hand and the paddle. Inside I brace myself for the first blow, but it doesn't come. Instead he softly caresses my ass and lets his finger glide over my rosebud. Oh no, the guy is huge, if he fucks my ass I doubt there is enough lube in this entire club to safe my butthole from being ripped apart.

His thumb starts to circle my clit and I feel him squirt lube on me and then he pushes one finger into my rosebud. Oh, this feels good. He starts to stretch me until he has two fingers inside me and when he pulls them out I expect him to thrust his cock into my behind, but instead I feel something cool pressing against me and he carefully inserts a buttplug inside me. I never had one of those inside me, but I like it, it feels very full, but not uncomfortable. Once it is fully inside me he starts to rub my butt cheeks again and suddenly his hand is gone and lands in a sharp slap on my ass. Ouch, that hurts! But at the same time the buttplug shifts inside me making me want to moan, but I resist. He developes a patters left cheek, rub. Right cheek, rub and the middle hitting the plug and my pussy. I like the ones that hit my middle the best. He hits me 20 times in total and rubs my ass for a while spreading the pain and pleasure. Fuck, I never thought this could be this erotic, but I'm so turned on I want him to fuck me now, I don't even care if he takes my ass or pussy just as long as he fucks me again. But I know my punishment is not finished.

I hear him move through the room again and I know he is getting a paddle. I hope he picks one of the leather ones and not the big wooden one I saw hanging on the wall. So, when he rubs the paddle against my ass and I feel the cool leather I want to sigh in relief, but stop myself. No need to give him more reason to spank my now sore ass.

Just in time I remember that I now have to count each smack on my ass. But when he hits me hard with the paddle I'm shocked. It hurts like hell, but to my shock ... I like it. A sharp tug on my braid reminds me to count.

"One, thank you, Sir" I say and he let's go of my braid. I count every strike until I reach six and my ass is on fire. Not sure I could have taken a lot more of this, but it wasn't as bad as I thought. I also thought that it would be humiliating to thank him for hitting me, but in a weird way, it felt right. He is my Master, he wants me to learn and this is his way of teaching me not to fail, because he wants me to be a good submissive. I feel safe and cared for and ecstatic that I could take this to please him. That's crazy, I don't know the guy, but I want to please him. I want him to want me as his submissive, I want to know that I can please him, that I can be everything he wants me to be even if I am new at this.

While I'm still thinking about this I didn't even notice that he has uncuffed my wrists and pulls me up so I'm sitting on the horse. With one hand he grabs both my wrists and holds them behind my back. With the other hand he takes of the nipple clamps and I gasp. Ouch, that hurts really badly, but he soothes the pain, but sucking first on one and then the other nipple making the pain ease quickly. Wait, yes! That means I'm allowed to come, well provided he is going to fuck me again, but seeing that I still have the plug in my butt, I don't think we are done. Gently, he pushes me down again, cuffs my wrists and walks around the horse until he is behind me. I hear something click and hum and he presses a vibrator against my clit.

I move against it and roll my hips and he gives me a slap against the thigh and I know he wants me to keep still. I really try it, but it feels so good and I just move, but when I do he takes the vibrator away. I want to groan, but restrain myself and then I get what I really need and he thrusts his cock into my dripping wet pussy. I hear him moan in pleasure and that only fuels my pleasure. Knowing that he finds pleasure in me gives me the biggest kick, because ever since Peter cheated on me I kept thinking it must have been fault, if I could have pleased him in bed he wouldn't had to go to someone else to fullfil his needs. So, now I need to know that I can be everything this stranger needs to fullfil his needs. And the second he pulls the plug out of my butt we both reach our climax at same time I feel so ecstatic and relieved I have tears falling down mine my face.

For the next few minutes I have no idea what is happening to me, I feel like I am flying which has never happened to me. Shit, can one get high on sex? Because I'm sure I am. When I finally come down again I'm no longer cuffed to the horse but in the bed lying on my belly and the Dom is rubbing some lotion or I don't know spanked ass ointment into my butt cheeks and it feels really good cool and soothing. Once he is finished he rubs my wrists and ankles and leans other me to press a soft kiss against my temple. He gets of the bed and I hear him move around the room and then the door opens and closes and I know I am alone.

I just lie there. Thinking about what has just happened and I know, if this man wants me then I want him too.

"Anastasia, you can take the mask off." I hear Faith's voice and stretch in the bed before I take the mask off.

"Well well, I think we have a natural here. If I didn't know better I would say you went to subspace"

"I didn't go anywhere" I murmur and Faith laughs.

"Sub space, simply said it's when you are high on sex sweetheart."

"Oh, that's what has happened. Wow, that never happened to me before."

"If this was what happened, then I think you really are a true submissive. Your Master was very pleased with you. He wants to train you Anastasia. Come, I show you where you can take a shower and dress again, then you can meet him and the two of you can talk about the details." she says hands me a robe and leads me to a private bathroom were I take a nice hot shower and dress again.

Back in her office I wait for my soon to be Master to come in while I look at the pictures on the wall.

"Anastasia, I must say, I never expected you to be a submissive, but I am very much looking forward to train you." I hear a deep voice behind me and freeze.

Oh. My. God. I know this voice. It is ...

Next update on Saturday... so what do you think is it Christian or Matt or maybe someone else? If you have the time please leave a review :-)