Every day of her world was the same.
Well...not lately.
That morning, after her ritual of exercising, showering, and cleansing, Elsa made not one, but two servings of breakfast. Anna was still knocked out on the sofa, so Elsa made sure to cook as quietly as possible. She wasn't sure what Anna would like, so she played it safe and made a traditional American breakfast of protein pancakes, organic scrambled eggs, nitrate-free bacon, with freshly squeezed orange juice.
She pushed the green pill through the packaging and threw it back into her throat. Wondering when she should wake up Anna, Elsa decided to take a quick trip to the bathroom to give her a little more time to sleep. 8am wasn't too early, was it? But it was always healthy to start the day early and on schedule, so she figured she'd at least try after she finished her business in the bathroom. She got to the door, but it was closed, so she just assumed it somehow closed on itself. As soon as she swung the bathroom door open, she suddenly heard a loud shriek, and Elsa yelled in shock when she saw a glimpse of Anna, half-naked, in the midst of pulling a shirt over her head.
"S-sorry!" Elsa yelled and slammed the door shut.
Shit!
Heart pounding in her ears, she peered over to the sofa outside and saw that it was empty. She hadn't noticed or heard Anna get up at all. Still a bit shaken, Elsa slowly made her way out to the kitchen. This was going to be tougher than she thought.
Elsa set up the breakfast plates on the kitchen island, pulled out two high stools from under the counter, sat herself down in one of them, and waited. She tried to shake the image of Anna's bare, slender waist out of her head. Her bra was green. Anna liked green.
She heard the faint flushing of the toilet, and she sat up straight as she heard the bathroom door open. Anna walked out into the living room in a new pair of clothes.
"Sorry about that," Elsa muttered, embarrassed.
"No worries, I just got startled, that's all. I probably should've locked it," Anna said brightly as she sat herself down next to Elsa. "What's this? she asked, looking down at the meal.
"Protein pancakes with eggs and bacon," Elsa replied, watching her nervously. She'd never prepared anybody food before.
"Hmm..." Anna picked up a fork and poked at the pancakes. "Protein pancakes?"
"Yea," Elsa replied. "They're better for your health."
Anna looked up at Elsa, then back down at the pancakes, and started to cut it with the side of her fork. She jabbed at a piece and stuffed it in her mouth, took a couple chews, then with a painful expression, swallowed it. "Ohmygod it tastes like rubber."
Elsa frowned. "But, it's good for you. Here, eat it with some of this syrup," and she slid over some honeyed blackberry syrup, which Anna looked at, but didn't take. "It's all so...healthy."
Elsa looked at her, confused. "Well, of course it's healthy. Don't you want to eat healthy?"
Anna poked at her eggs. She took a small forkful and forced it into her mouth. When she finished it, she looked back at Elsa with a pained expression. "I want to eat what tastes good. Did you buy that ice cream, by the way?"
Didn't it taste good? If it was healthy, shouldn't that be enough incentive to eat something? Most of her home-cooked meals had much less sodium, preservatives, taste-enhancers, and such, which made all her food much less "tasty" than regular foods one would buy outside. But she preferred it that way. "Uhh...yea but-"
Anna immediately got up and made her way over to the fridge, pulled out the pint and brought it with her, and sat herself down. She swung her legs playfully as she opened it and jammed her fork in, lodging loose a chunk of frozen ice cream.
"Um...uhh...shouldn't you eat your breakfast first?" Elsa asked tentatively. She watched Anna happily eat the forkful, and then jam her fork in again.
"I'll eat this," Anna stated decisively.
Elsa gnawed her lower lip. That wasn't good for her, at all, and first thing in the morning too. Being an older sister was already so hard. She was about to protest when she was startled by five loud knocks at the door.
Kristoff.
"Just, stay here alright? Stay..." and she held out her hands as if Anna were a dog. But she realized this and quickly put her hands down. She didn't know how to do this...sister thing. Fork in her mouth, Anna nodded and watched Elsa make her way to the door. Since the kitchen was immediately right of the door, Anna wouldn't be able to see Kristoff from where she was sitting.
Elsa unlocked and slid the chain off the door, and before Kristoff could say anything she slipped out into the hallway, closing the door quietly behind her. Kristoff looked at her strangely. "What, you got someone sleeping in there? Ohmygod, did you finally get laid!? Who is she!?"
"Shhh!" Elsa irritably put a finger up to his lips. "Why are you here?"
He pulled his lips back from her finger. "He's in Elsa. Ronald's already in. God this is gunna be such a big one for us. I got you a smoothie to celebrate," he whispered excitedly as he handed her the smoothie.
Just then, Elsa heard the door creak open behind her, and panic shot through her body as she spun around and saw Anna's eyes peeking through.
"I told you to stay!" Elsa pressed her finger against Anna's forehead, pushing her away from the door, eliciting an annoyed "heyy..." from Anna as she closed the door in her face. She clenched the door handle behind her back to prevent it from turning again.
"Dude is that who you slept with? Not bad, she's cute!"
Shocked, Elsa smacked him on the arm. "Kristoff stop! Just...just...did you schedule the meeting then?"
"Yea, it's in a week or two. I'll e-mail you the details. Here, take the damn smoothie. I know you're a health nut so I got you something healthy, " and he handed over the smoothie again. Elsa was sure it was packed full of sugar and preservatives, but she took it anyways. "Thanks," she muttered. "I have to go. I'll see you at the office tomorrow to talk about it, okay?"
"Alright, have fun with your girl," and he winked.
Elsa grumbled and watched him leave down the hall, and when he turned the corner she slipped back inside and locked the door.
As she threw the smoothie away she felt a pair of eyes on her, and saw Anna suspiciously watch her as she sat herself down next to her. Elsa glued her eyes down as she drizzled the syrup over her now cold pancakes and started to cut a small triangle.
"So, who was that?"
Elsa cringed. "A co-worker."
"How come you didn't want me to see him?"
"Cuz..." Elsa looked up at her, and noticed that she had broken the bacon into pieces and sprinkled them over the ice cream. "Anna, what in the world?"
Anna looked into the pint as if nothing was wrong. "What? Bacon and ice cream, wanna try?" Elsa gulped and felt a little queasy. "No, I'm good."
There was a moment of silence while Anna jabbed at a piece of bacon, lodged in within the prongs of the fork, then dug it further into the ice cream to gather a good chunk. She entered the combination into her mouth, and the fork came out clean. "Well, why'd he come?" she said, mouth full.
Elsa quickly brought up some pancake to her mouth, giving her some time to think of an answer. She chewed, and chewed, but couldn't think of a good answer. "Business," she said, vaguely. By the way Anna huffed out and continued to search her face, Elsa knew she wasn't satisfied with the answer.
"Tell me what you really do."
Shit. Elsa urgently cut another piece of rubbery pancake, daring not to look up at her, afraid Anna would be able to see even the smallest flicker of wavering strength. "Eat your eggs at least," she muttered.
Just then, Anna's cell phone rang from the sofa area, and she sprang from her seat to answer it.
"Hello? Oh, hi mom."
Elsa pretended to be fascinated by the small text imprinted on the side of the ice cream pint as she listened intently.
"No...no...at a friend's place. You don't know her. No...ugh fine! Yes I'm at Elsa's alright?"
Elsa froze. Anna's parents...her parents were thinking about her right at this moment. Elsa didn't know how to feel about that.
"Yes I'm coming back. I dunno when...sometime tonight. I know there's class tomorrow, god. No I wanna sleepover tonight again. No! Ugh fine...I'll come now. Yes I just told you I'll come by noon. Now goodbye...goodbye mother."
She sighed as she swiped her screen and threw her phone over at her backpack. "My parents want me to come home today to get ready for school tomorrow, but I'll be back for dinner tomorrow. Is that cool?" she asked as she sat herself down.
"Yea, I suppose. What do you want for dinner tomorrow? I can cook for you."
Anna looked up in thought. "Hmm...how about spaghetti? Can't go wrong with that." she looked over at Elsa and grinned. "I should be back tomorrow around five, so we can go grocery shopping together and cook together too. Should be fun, right?"
Elsa nodded, and in that instant it hit her. She felt light as a feather, as if she could take on the world, and all of a sudden no challenge was too great. Their relationship was an undiscovered territory; intimidating and unfamiliar, but already Elsa was drawn, pulled in by her magnetic appeal, her fascination flowering and growing every minute with her. She was floating, because she knew from then on, her world would revolve around this new girl named Anna. Because Anna wanted to come back to the apartment and spend more time here. Because it meant Anna liked it here. Because it meant Anna liked her, too.
"Hey sis, it's me, Anna. Just wanted to say hi...umm...I had calculus and biology today, gross. I think I can handle calculus, but I suck at memorizing so you might need to help me with bio. K, well, I'll come by later today around five. We're eating dinner together today right? Better not bail on me. K, see you later, bye!"
Elsa pressed 1 again to repeat the message, unable to wipe the wide grin strewn across her face.
"Hey sis, it's me, Anna. Just wanted to say hi..."
"Elsa, I'm gunna go to the Rychel's residence, but if it rains I'm heading back. It looks like it might rain today...why are you smiling like that? What are you listening to anyways?" Kristoff, in his I.T. uniform looked strangely over at Elsa.
"Anna left me a message," she said distractedly, turning her swivel chair around so she could hide her unrelenting smile and listen in peace. She tucked up her knees onto the chair.
Kristoff chuckled. "Maybe having a sister isn't so bad, eh? Alright I'm headin' out. See ya." But Elsa wasn't paying attention, for she was under a spell, her spell, Anna's voice wrapping itself around her like a warm blanket.
"We're eating dinner together today right? Better not bail on me. K, see you later, bye!"
Without any hesitation she pressed 1 again.
"Hey sis, it's me..."
"Are you sure? There's barely any ingredients in there. When I said spaghetti I meant like, pasta, not just noodles and tomatoes." Elsa and Anna were waiting in the checkout line at the grocery store, with Anna doubtfully peering into their shopping basket. They'd only picked out a few items. She had the rest of the ingredients home.
"You're lucky we're even eating noodles," Elsa replied. She usually used spaghetti squash as noodles when she made spaghetti for herself. She heard Anna sigh. "Yea, whole wheat pasta. If this tastes bad, we're ordering pizza."
It was a busy night, with people just getting of work stopping by to do their grocery shopping. Mostly all of the checkout stations were occupied, and it took Elsa a while, but she found April and was now assuredly standing in her line.
She saw Anna roam over to the checkout station next to them, and she waved for Elsa to come over. "Elsa, this one's shorter." Elsa shook her head and peered down the line to see April busily scanning some cans. "No, this one's good."
"What? What do you mean? This one's so much shorter."
"No, this one's better."
Anna slowly came over and followed Elsa's gaze to the checkout girl. She stopped for a moment, then looked back at Elsa, who kept looking ahead at April. Not saying anything, Anna took her place next to Elsa and waited in silence.
Later that night Elsa's kitchen was warm and buzzing with activity. A pot of water boiling noodles, a pan of garlic, onion, and tomatoes sizzling, Elsa busily shredding fresh basil leaves, and Anna grating a block of parmesan cheese, with Anna's choice of EDM music blaring in the background.
Elsa had tried to endure the noise, but when suddenly the music started to get really obnoxious, she turned to Anna to ask to change it, but when she turned, she grew tense. Anna was dancing wildly next to the stove. "A-anna, that's not safe..." but her voice diminished under the music, and she felt herself gradually being pulled away, tethered to Anna's free spirit. She couldn't help but watch Anna bend and twist her body excitedly to the music, her feet hitting the ground perfectly on cue with the beat.
Wow, she's a great dancer. Shuffling, skidding, rolling her body, it was all so mesmerizing. She's really flexible too.
Elsa gasped when the metal lid of the boiling pot started to clatter noisily and bubbles started to ooze out of the sides.
"I got it!" Anna called.
Before Elsa realized it, both of them had reached for the lid at the same time, and Elsa ended up gripping Anna's fingers. Electricity shot up through her fingers, her arm, through her whole body. Elsa instantly pulled back. "O-ok, you good to drain it?"
Anna started to lift the pot full of piping hot water. Elsa felt wary, and reached out to help her, but Anna held it away from her. "Don't worry! I'm nearly nineteen I'm a big girl!" Elsa precariously watched Anna drain the water and noodles into the strainer in the sink, and hot steam rose and swirled up around Anna. Elsa looked away and busied herself with the basil leaves, which were already done.
With all the ingredients cooked, they prepared their plates and sprinkled the parmesan on top of their spaghetti. It was healthy spaghetti, without all the artificial colorings and flavors that usually came in those jars. Everything was wholesome and fresh, and would serve to nourish her younger sister's body. She set a fork down next to Anna's plate, and she watched apprehensively as Anna picked it up and curled her fork into the noodles. Anna lifted the fork up to Elsa, and said a quick "cheers." She took the noodles in, chewed for a while, then stopped midway, and her face darkened. "This tastes like rubber. We're ordering pizza."
It had already been an hour and the pizza hadn't arrived yet, and by then Elsa could tell her insulin level was low. The spaghetti was cold, it was past her routine dinnertime, and best of all Anna was drinking a beer she'd stolen from the grocery store in her messenger bag and she didn't know how to deal with it.
"Anna, give me the beer."
Anna defiantly took another swig, burping afterwards. She was sitting on the edge of the couch, a safe distance away from Elsa. "No. I'm basically twenty-one, and I'm much more mature than my peers. I deserve a good beer. I need to get the taste of that spaghetti out of my mouth."
Elsa scoffed. "You most certainly are not mature, and you're eighteen. You're just a baby. You're baby Anna," Elsa couldn't help but grin. "Baby Anna," she said again. It clicked; she liked it.
"Baby Anna give me the beer." She was returned with a pout from Anna. "No," and she took another swig. "You'll feel better after you've eaten. You're just hangry right now."
Elsa cocked an eyebrow. "Hangry? Hangry?"
Anna burped again. "Yea-you're hangry. Hungry and angry at the same time. So chill, let your sister have a beer."
Elsa slapped her hand to her forehead, just completely lost of what she should do. Her sister was drinking underage, and she had stolen it. Elsa strangely felt responsible. She was just a kid. It wasn't settling well with her, at all.
She looked over at Anna, who was clutching the bottle to her chest as she was texting someone. Observing the small bubbles rising in the bottle, she felt her throat tickle. Suddenly her mouth felt very parched and dry. Elsa let out a sigh, giving up.
Anna looked over at her, as if she knew. "Here, try some. When was the last time you had some nice, cold beer?"
Elsa took a step towards her. "No thanks, beer's gross. It has like, no nutritional value, at all. But before she could react, Anna marched over and brought the bottle up to Elsa's mouth.
"Anna! W-"
Elsa hesitated, but Anna had already started tilting the bottle and she had no choice but to open her mouth and let the cold, refreshing, fizzling liquid pour into her mouth. Their eyes met for a moment, and then Anna brought the bottle down when Elsa's mouth was full, not dripping even one drop.
Slightly surprised, Elsa swallowed it down and looked at Anna. "You've got a steady hand."
Anna opened her mouth to reply, but the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" Anna piped, and she ran to the door and fiddled with the locks. She grabbed the pile of cash that had already been counted on the table by the door, paid the delivery guy, and happily walked back to the island with a large pizza box in her arms.
"Is Baby Anna happy now," Elsa said dryly as she watched Anna tear off a piece with her teeth. Anna nodded contently, chewing, and Elsa caught herself with that goofy grin again.
Finally, time to eat. Elsa took her cold plate and stuck it in the microwave to heat it up. After the microwaved dinged, she set her warmed plate down, settled down next to Anna and finally took a bite of her spaghetti, but ended up spewing almost everything out when Anna asked a question.
"So, what's this 'Double Trouble Sex Toy' you have in your room, Elsa?"
Elsa sat and stared at her with strands of noodles hanging out from her mouth. She quickly grabbed at a napkin and tried to clean up the mess. Her face was growing hotter by the second.
Kristoff had given her the thing as a gag gift one time, and she had no idea where to put the box, so she figured the most appropriate place was in her nightstand next to her bed. She put it away in the bottom drawer, out of sight, out of mind and never thought anything of it until now. It struck Elsa that Anna had been snooping, and she furiously whipped her head towards her. "You've been snooping!"
Anna shrugged her shoulders. "What else was I supposed to do while you were gone? Nothing good was on," and she took another bite of her pizza, like it was the most casual conversation. "The packaging was real nice. 'Sanitized and ready to use', and it came with lube." Anna's eyes were twinkling.
Elsa's cheeks were hot. "T-that was a stupid gift from Kristoff! H-he gave it to me as a joke! And what the hell were you doing in my drawers? In my room!?"
Anna swung her legs back and forth under the island counter. "So, the way it's curved like that...does that mean both girls get some at the same time? Huh, I guess that's why it's called "double trouble'...makes sense I suppose, it's efficient," she said calmly.
Elsa was breathing heavily, her muscles tense. "Anna! I told you not to snoop! God you're so nosy!" She scowled.
Anna popped the last bit of crust into her mouth and opened the box for another slice, giggling. "That's what little sister's are for."
Later that evening after washing up, Elsa was finally curling up in her bed with a fashion magazine. It was always one of her goals to stay up to date in fashion; always stay a little bit ahead and on top of the game. A low rumble, and then rain started to patter against her window. A thunderstorm was coming, and she felt her skin tingling with anticipation. Elsa loved thunderstorms – how they railed, howled, and boomed angrily outside – and she would always be safe and warm inside her apartment. Snuggling in deeper, she pulled open the first page and got to studying.
About midway through the magazine, she felt a presence and peered over the magazine to find Anna wringing her hands at the doorway, and Elsa sat up. Anna didn't have any classes tomorrow, so her mother let her sleepover tonight. Lightly clothed in a white tank top and small green, jersey shorts, Anna continued to stand at the door. She looked very agitated.
"What's up? Can't go to sleep?" Elsa asked as she set down the magazine.
Anna tucked some hair behind her ear before she spoke. "Um, I'm not good with thunderstorms. Can I stay with you until it's over?" Embarrassed, she looked down at her feet.
This feeling. It was starting again. It was flickering inside of her. Anna needed her. Anna depended on her. Anna found her capable, and found comfort in her presence. Elsa reached out and patted the pillow next to her. "Come on in," she said smiling.
Anna's face lit up like the sun and she flung herself onto the bed, compelling Elsa to grip the mattress to hold herself steady. "Yayyy sleepover!" she cooed. Elsa turned away from her and laid on her side to continue to read the magazine. She heard Anna settle herself under the covers, and then felt rustling near her back and suddenly felt Anna's chin on her arm. "Watcha reading?"
Without saying anything, Elsa lifted the magazine slightly to show her. She felt Anna's breath as she exhaled sharply. "Boring..." and Anna retreated to her spot.
After a while, she heard Anna grow quiet. Maybe she's finally sleeping. She turned the pages quieter as not to disturb her, but was surprised when she heard Anna shift again towards her. Her voice was low as she spoke. "Hey Elsa, I...I'm sorry about the snooping I did. You're right, I probably shouldn't have done that," she said in a quiet, apologetic tone.
Surprised, Elsa turned her body and they now laid face to face on the bed. She set down the magazine in-between them. "Oh...um it's okay, I mean...I just like having things a certain way...and...well, I guess I just need to get used to having someone around."
Anna looked down at the edge of the blanket she was now wringing in her hands. "I just...I just wanted to know more about you," she looked up at Elsa, "and I still do. I want to know more about you."
Elsa looked at her, but stayed silent, unsure of what to say. But, suddenly it hit her. Anna was becoming somebody real. She wasn't just this tomboyish, rambunctious girl that did whatever she wanted. There was vulnerability. She had a life at home with her parents, friends that Elsa didn't know of, hobbies that she never even asked her about yet. Anna had fought with her mom, about what? Was it about her? There was a veil that Elsa wanted to lift off; she wanted to discover more of this mysterious girl.
Anna had untied her braids, and her wavy hair enveloped itself around her face, and her cheeks were pink. It was then that Elsa realized Anna was truly stunning. It was subtle though, the kind of appeal that you'd only realize after spending some time with the person, making it all the more striking. The realization crept up on her and threw her off guard a bit, but her eyes couldn't stop drinking her in.
Lighting crashed outside and crackled and shook the room, and Anna's body jerked in shock. She looked up at Elsa. She looked like she was about to cry. "C-can I hold your hand? Just until the storm is over."
Elsa raised her eyebrows in surprise, and before she could say anything Anna reached down and very slowly ran her fingers in-between Elsa's, and she wrapped her fingers tightly around her palm.
Startled, Elsa could do nothing but stare at the girl, who now had her eyes closed tightly as if she were trying to desperately shut out the swirling storm outside.
"You are just a baby aren't you. baby Anna," Elsa said softly. Anna simply nodded. Elsa wrapped her fingers around her small hand and held it. I'm here for you.
Texting with Anna that week became the most important moments of her life. Regardless of if she was eating lunch, on the phone with a customer, cooking dinner, or about to go to sleep, she would always text Anna back. Anna wouldn't answer for a while occasionally-she had classes, Elsa understood-but for those agonizing minutes or hour Elsa would constantly check her phone, even though there wouldn't be a notification tone. But when she did hear it, it would be the most satisfying sound to her ears, and she'd almost squeal as she see a new incoming message light up on her cell phone.
Anna's mom wouldn't let her sleepover if she had classes the next day, so the soonest they'd be able to hang out was Friday. It was the longest week of Elsa's life. She didn't realize just how long a day could be. Mornings were the worst. Afternoon never came, and when it did, they'd stretch out for forever. Elsa would watch for the sun to set in oranges and reds, and finally it would be nighttime. And she would go to sleep as soon as possible for the next day to come.
And as the days passed in the week, they'd get to know each other better. One message at a time, one nugget of information after another. It was easier that way, Elsa thought, as she typed in her favorite foods into the textbox. It was a slow, gradual, getting to know each other. Safe and at a distance, texting allowing a little more boldness and openness from both of them in their answers.
After what seemed like eternity, it was finally Friday. But before anything, Elsa needed to go to see Dr. Ryan Wilcox for her damn pills.
"You still have the spare key right?
Just let yourself in and I'll see you
at the apartment around five."
Elsa pressed 'send' and waited for a reply. After a few short moments, she heard the familiar jingle and her inbox had one message, which she quickly opened and read.
"Yea i have it dont worry.
C u later today :)"
She smiled down at her phone, then opened the door to let herself into the gross, brown building.
"You look better than last time Elsa." Before she knew it she was already in the armchair getting psychoanalyzed again by Ryan. He was almost wearing the same thing as last week, except his wool coat was a greenish color. It made Elsa want to gag.
"Yea, well, last time I didn't have any medication, so..." she said dryly.
The doctor sat up in his chair. "So the new pills are working then?"
"Yea they seem to be."
"Any negative side effects?"
You. "No."
Silence. Elsa heard the clock in the room tick. He started writing something down on the pad, and every little scribble of his pen made her squirm. He looked up. "So, you're going to be here for an hour or so, whether we talk or not, so might as well just have a conversation. How was your day today?" He sat back and crossed his legs, and put pressed fingers into that stupid little v-shape.
"Good."
Silence.
"Any plans tonight?"
"I'm hanging out with my sister."
"You have a sister?"
"Yes."
"Younger? Older?"
"You guess," she challenged.
He looked at her and stroked his chin. "I'm going to guess, you're the older one."
Damn it. "Yea."
He gave a chuckle, and uncrossed his legs. "I have a younger sister too. They're a lot to handle, aren't they?"
Elsa was surprised to hear herself give a small chuckle. "Yea, they sure are." She suddenly had an urgent question. "Say, what do you do when you hang out with your younger sister, like, what do you guys do together." Might as well make the hour with him useful.
He gave her a smile and looked up to the ceiling to think. "Well, we don't hang out that much anymore, but when we do we usually grab a meal together. She likes to take me shopping to give some variety to my wardrobe. I'm not sure, sometimes we'll just, watch a movie, grab some coffee and talk."
Why did it all seem so, daunting? It seemed like so much work. He looked at her and read her face. "Why, you're not close with your sister?"
She started to play with her braid, pondering if she should tell him the whole story. Well, it was confidential, wasn't it? Doctor-patient confidentiality or something. She cleared her throat. "Well, it's kind of a long story..." He waited with a warm expression, encouraging her to continue. And so, she told him about how her biological parents didn't actually abort her younger sister, and how Anna had suddenly become the most important thing in her life.
"How do you feel Elsa, that your parents gave you up but kept Anna?" She knew he'd ask a question like this.
She sat back all the way in the armchair now, and sighed. "Well, obviously it's not that great of a feeling, to know that they wanted one and not the other. But I'm over it, it doesn't bother me that much. I barely know them, or care about them, so..." He scribbled something on the pad, and without looking up he asked, "And how do you feel about Anna?"
She paused. "What do you mean?" He looked up and pushed up his glasses, securing them to his nose. "I mean, what are your feelings towards Anna?"
Elsa looked at him, confused. "Uhmm...she's my sister. So I feel...protective. I feel like I should be a good role model for her-"
"And given your occupation, the nature of your work, how do you feel about that?" he interrupted her. Elsa felt the end of her braid getting looser as she kept on nervously playing with it. She'd never thought about this before. But, he did have a point. What if Anna found out about who she really was, what kind of person she really was? She shook the thought out of her head.
"I haven't given it any thought because she won't find out about it."
"But what if she does?"
"She won't."
"I want to know more about you."
"Okay, repeat it back to me." Elsa and Kristoff were walking through the hallway in her apartment building. She'd decided to have Kristoff eat dinner with them so Anna could meet him. Because Anna had said she wanted to know more about her.
Kristoff rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "God for like the hundredth time. My name's Kristoff and I'm just a human resources manager at Intercable, the internet provider company. I'm most definitely not a con artist and-" she smacked him on the arm.
"I swear if anything slips..."
"Don't worry! Nothing will slip. Is Anna at home?"
She started pulling out her keys from her bag. "Yea, I gave her a spare key and told her to wait for me." They got to Elsa door, and she quickly unlocked it and they both entered.
"Baby Anna, I'm home! And I brought a friend I want you to meet," she called out. Elsa walked into the living room and saw that Anna's backpack was on the couch, but Anna was nowhere to be seen. She called her name out again, but there was no reply.
"Hey, your shoes."
"What?" Elsa looked down and was surprised to find she'd walked right into her own apartment with her oxfords on. "Oh wow, I totally forgot." She jogged over to the door and slipped her feet out, and Kristoff slumped down onto her couch and put an arm up on the cushion. "So, I guess she's not here?"
Elsa whipped out her phone and dialed her number, but without even ringing she was met with Anna's voice mail. "Hi it's Anna. Leave a message after the-" Beeep. Elsa hung up.
"No I guess not. She's not picking up her cell phone either." Elsa started to gnaw her lower lip. Where the hell was she? Her things were here. Maybe she just stepped out? She nervously tapped the marble on her island counter with her fingers.
Kristoff turned on the TV. "Well, if she doesn't come in ten minutes, I'm outta here."
It had been five hours. Five excruciating hours, and Anna hadn't returned home. It was the most agonizing five hours of Elsa's life. She was wrought with worry, she'd popped another one of her pills, and she couldn't even eat her dinner because her stomach was in a tight, churning knot. She'd left a total of five messages in Anna's voicemail, one every hour. She felt completely unhinged; it was the familiar, spilling uncontrollability she so dreaded. Where the hell was she? What was the meaning of this? She said she'd be here! She imagined Anna's dead, cold body sprawled out somewhere in an alleyway. Should she call the police? File a missing person's report? God!
Pull yourself together! She hurried over to her bathroom, turned the faucet on and splashed her face with water. Turning off the faucet, she looked at herself in the mirror; it didn't look good. She tucked away some loose strands of hair and took a deep breath. Grabbing a hand towel, she patted her face try, but her ears perked suddenly, and she stopped. From the living room, she heard the faint sound of the front door opening. Her heart leaped out of her chest, and she jerked and marched through her room and into the living room, where she found Anna's back turned to her. She was locking the door. A wave of relief washed over her, and she wanted to hug and kiss the girl. She was never so happy to see that backwards baseball cap. Anna was finally back, safe in her apartment. But just as quickly as this feeling came, it disappeared and she was suddenly overcome with a raging fury she'd never felt in her entire life.
"Where the HELL have you been!?" she yelled, and Anna spun around, shocked.
Anna clapped her hand to her chest. "JESUS Elsa, you scared me!" They both stood there, staring at each other. Elsa was fuming.
"Well? Where the HELL were you?!" Elsa yelled angrily. "You said you'd be here for dinner? Why the hell haven't you been answering your cell phone? Do you know how worried I've been? I was just sick to my god damn stomach worried about you!"
Anna started nervously fiddling with her jacket zipper. "I was out! A-a-and my cell phone was out of batteries!" Anna croaked back.
"Out where?!"
"Just out, with some guy!"
The fire in Elsa's gut shot up and flared with a fiercer vengeance. "A guy? A guy? What guy? You need to tell me where you're going, a-and who with!"
Anna stared at her, eyebrows furrowing and mouth gaping open in disbelief. "A-are you being serious right now? Elsa...seriously? God, you're worse than mom!"
Elsa took a step back. She felt like she'd been slapped. It was too much; she couldn't deal with Anna right now. She spoke with a stony, firm voice. "Listen, Anna. I'm glad I met you, I really am. But I have a-a job, I have a partner that depends on me, I've got things a certain way. And I like it when things are set a certain way. S-so I think it's better, for you, most of all, if tomorrow morning I took you back home. I just can't...deal with you right now."
Maybe it was too harsh, because she saw Anna's eyes start to well up with tears. Anna angrily threw up her hands. "What the fuck did I do wrong? I j-just went out, god! I didn't even drink, I didn't get high, I didn't take any money from your stupid safe behind your mirror!"
Elsa's jaw dropped, and she stiffened. "W-what?"
Anna wiped away a tear from her cheek and crossed her arms across her chest. "Why the hell do you have a gun anyway?"
FUCK.
Elsa started to feel herself unravel. She couldn't control her emotions. "ANNA. I told you NOT to go through my things! Don't you ever listen!?" and with that she stormed to her room to check the contents of her safe. She thrust open the top drawer, remembering that she'd slipped the lock in there the night of the deal. She cursed at herself under her breath for forgetting to lock it that night. She whipped open the mirror, then the safe door behind it and checked its contents. Everything was right where she'd left it, including the gun. Feeling relieved, she hung the lock over it and snapped it shut.
A pang of guilt hit her in the gut. Maybe she'd been too harsh. She turned around but her stomach dropped when she saw Anna lugging her backpack and going through the front door. Elsa ran after her.
"A-anna, wait!"
But Anna kept on marching down the hallway, and Elsa, barefooted, ran after her. "Anna, please!" She caught up to her and took her by the shoulders, and Anna angrily brushed her hands off. She stopped and turned around. "I get it alright! You don't want me here! That's fine, I've been fine by myself for eighteen years." She wiped another tear from her cheek and looked down at the floor. Elsa immediately regretted everything she'd said. She had made her younger sister cry, it was all her fault. She felt awful. "No, no Anna, I'm sorry. Forget everything I said, I didn't mean any of it." It was then that Elsa realized just how afraid she was of losing Anna.
"Bullshit. I'm just a huge burden right? I mean, you obviously don't want anything to do with me. You won't even introduce me to your "co-workers." And human resources managers always keep h-huge stacks of cash and guns in their homes, right? That's fine, you don't have to tell me what you really do, 'cuz I'm leaving. Isn't that what you want?"
"No, no that's not what I want," Elsa said softly as she brought up a hand and lightly gripped Anna's arm. She was relieved when Anna didn't pull away. "I-I'm sorry, I just...I suck at being an older sister. I'm still learning and I'm trying my best. Please stay, please?"
Anna's face had softened, but her face was still full of hurt. "Then how come you're so secretive around me? Like, you don't want me to know anything about you? It makes me feel unwelcome, like I'm intruding or something. And if I am, just let me know, and I'll get out of your hair."
Elsa wiped away a tear from Anna's face, and pulled her in for a hug. "No, I want you here." Anna was warm. This was the first time they'd hugged each other, and Elsa was overwhelmed. She breathed in her musky, tomboyish scent, and hugged her tighter. She never wanted Anna to cry again. She swore to herself to never hurt Anna again. Elsa didn't realize just how hurt Anna was by her actions, and her heart ached for her. "I'm so sorry Anna, I'm so, so sorry."
She pulled Anna away from her and brought up her hands to her shoulders, and looked intently into her wet eyes. "I'll tell you everything. We'll order pizza and I'll tell you everything okay? I promise."
And Elsa always kept her promises.
