Not gonna lie, this is my favorite chapter in the whole story.
Chapter Four: I Hate You!
"What?!" John exclaims, quickly stretching over her body to get a grip on the wheel.
The sirens are still blaring, getting louder even if the two of them did not notice. John begins to panic as he tries to keep control of his own car to prevent an automotive accident. River leans back to give herself some room, though she doesn't mind his body touching hers. She unzips her leather jacket, takes it off, and chucks it in the backseat to reveal a tight black dress and a noticeable cleavage underneath. Just like her chest, John's eyes pop out. River looks at him and lights up at his expression though she tries to resist smiling.
"Eyes front," she orders, regaining charge of the current situation.
"Yes, ma'am," he replies, looking straight ahead at the streets again.
River pulls out a tube of lipstick from in-between her assets and applies a fresh coat of bright red lipstick. Fearing she put on too much, she claps her lips together and gives John a few quick kisses on his cheeks and forehead since she doesn't have a tissue or napkin to blot on. John is astounded as he tries to make do with what is actually going on, especially since River begins to unbutton the top of his shirt, undo his bow tie, and take one of the suspenders off his shoulders. River makes her messy curls an even bigger mess by shaking it around before putting her hands back on the 10-2 position of the steering wheel. John tries to say something but has trouble finding the right words to use in the current moment.
River eventually pulls over. She waits a few minutes before the cop approaches the cap and taps on the glass of the driver's window. River rolls down the window and smiles at the cop who has no words for what he sees in the car.
"Hello, Benjamin," River says to the cop, enunciating all the syllables in the name that doesn't even belong to the cop.
Both John and the cop mouth that name to themselves in confusion.
"Down girl..." John mutters to her in order to get her to quit the flirting. River slaps his upper thigh, near his crotch.
"Ma'am," the cop says to her, getting serious. "Do you have any idea how you were driving?"
River shrugs slowly and innocently, never losing eye contact with the cop. He leans forwards, getting a closer look at her since he could have sworn he's seen her before.
"Are you River Song?" He asks.
"Only on the weekends," River whispers back.
River winks the cop. The cop is flattered and begins blushing. John feels his body heating up and he isn't sure if it's because of embarrassment, fear, or jealousy. Maybe all three.
"Then who are you during the week?" The cop asks her, playing along with the little game she has.
River opens her mouth to reply, but someone else answers for her.
"Mrs. Robinson," John tells her as he begins buttoning his shirt and making himself look presentable once again.
River turns around and opens her mouth to him, completely mortified but slightly turned on.
"I hate you!" She yells.
John lingers in his seat for an extra second, his eyes not leaving hers. "No, you don't."
John winks at her. River begins to simmer, not sure if she should be mad at him or happy he's playing along.
"I, for one, am getting very uncomfortable with this," the cop says, backing away from their car. "I'm going to let this one slide but drive carefully from now on."
The cop leaves and the two of them wait for the cop to drive away before sighing in absolute relief. River cheers a little as John stretches to the back to get her leather jacket for her. River puts it on and places her hands back on the wheel.
"Where to now?" She asks him.
John shrugs and River smirks, beginning to drive and letting the car decide their next destination.
Stay Tuned - Where are they headed?
