"Lizzy you are overreacting! I bet he was having a bad day and was late to work, just like somebody in this room." Jane tried to reason with her that night. When Lizzy got home she needed someone to vent to and Jane being the sweetheart she was, was the ideal person.
"Of course you would take his side Janie. But I am telling you, he was an arrogant bastard who deserved to get coffee on him."
"What have I told you about forming a persons character by first impressions"
"It wasn't a first impression that sealed the deal of him being a jerk, it was the second impression. See I do listen to your advice!" Lizzy responded with an innocent face that made Jane laugh.
For the past eight years, Lizzy and Jane had not lost the relationship they had formed during childhood. Both girls became even more like sisters ever since the accident a few years ago and even more since Charlotte moved away to live in New York. The three best friends, which still included Josh, lived together in a two story, four bedroom apartment just a few blocks from downtown LA. All three had been accepted to the University of Southern California and had roomed together ever since sophomore year. It would have been since freshmen but it was mandatory for them to dorm in school the first year and there was no co-ed dorms. They had looked for a fourth person but no one was able to fit in and then just as they were about to give up they got a call from Charlotte telling them that she had found the perfect roommate for them. So there they were, late Monday night, trying to clean up the extra bedroom which they had used for storage for the last couple of years getting ready to receive there new roommate who was supposed to arrive by the end of the week.
"Tell me again why Josh is not helping us clean up."
"I told you Lizzy he had some errands to run. He told me he would by back by 9 to help us out for at least an hour."
"Tell me again why we are doing this now. We have four more days to clean this up!" Lizzy kept on whining
"No! We are going to clean up by tomorrow and then we have to paint the walls and let the room breath before Saturday." Jane explained as if speaking to a child.
"I still think you are doing this as a punishment for something I did to you when we were children." Lizzy gave Jane one of her famous stares.
"Don't look at me like that, I have not been afraid of you since the fifth grade."
"First of all, you are scared of me and you have all the reasons to be and second of all, I was not giving you a look." she defended herself.
"Ya, right. Now hurry up because I am hungry and I need something to eat before I pass out."
Just after Jane and Lizzy finished eating they heard the door open and close. Both looked behind them toward a mirror that was positioned so they can see who was coming in when they were at the kitchen, and not surprisingly they saw Josh trying to sneak his way upstairs.
"You know we can see you!" Lizzy yelled to get Josh's attention
"I knew we should have thrown out that mirror years ago." Josh declared as he made his way to the kitchen
"Trying to get of the hook weren't you." Lizzy said while looking at Josh
"I am hurt, that you would think that of me!" Josh said as he grabbed his chest like if he was offended. "I was going to get started and surprise you"
"Sure, and I'm Mother Teresa." Lizzy responded sarcastically
"I just don't understand why I have to help clean up, most of the stuff belongs to Jane."
"Its not my fault that I need more room to put all my clothes in." Jane defended herself
"Actually my dear it is your fault, I don't buy as much clothes as you do." Lizzy interrupted as she finished placing all the dishes in the dishwasher.
"I don't hear you complaining when you come to my room and borrow half of my clothes." Jane said as she walked near to where Lizzy stood
"At least I use all the clothes that you buy and use only once, then leave it forgotten somewhere in your closet ." Lizzy acknowledged .
"I would wear them, if you left them in my closet long enough for me to try then on again, but no, you always assume I am never going to wear my clothes ever again, as if you knew what I was going to do."
"Hello to Jane, I do know you will never wear the pieces of clothes again!"
"No you don't, you think you have me pegged when you do not know anything about me." Jane replied, with growing anger that she did not understand
"You think I don't know you! You think that all after being friends all these, I don't know how you think?" Lizzy shouted
"You always want to control everyone around you! Ever since Cindy died you have tried to control my life, like you controlled hers." Jane regretted her words once they came out of her mouth. She had been so caught up with her emotions that she did not realize what she said until it was to late.
"Ok, both take a deep breath. Both of you are angry and don't mean anything you just said" Josh tried to intervene in the fight that Jane and Lizzy were having. He loved both girls like if they were his sister but he knew that Jane went to far with her last statement.
"Stay out of this Josh before I beat you up!" Lizzy yelled at Josh while still facing Jane. "You know what; I did not control Cindy's life." Lizzy stated with a disconnected voice but with tears starting to form in her eyes. "Don't worry I will try to stay out of your life from this moment on." Lizzy finished, then turned around and stopped near Josh. "I am going to take a walk." Lizzy told him while giving him a small fake smile.
"Please Lizzy, she didn't mean it, it's late and dangerous out there." Josh pleaded.
"I'm going to be fine." Lizzy responded, then left the apartment without looking back.
"You know I did not mean it, right? I feel so terrible, I just got angry and I don't even know why.." Jane said in a remorseful voice as she stared at her feet.
"I know and Lizzy does too," Josh tried to reassure her as he put his hands on her shoulders to hug her "but hearing about Cindy is still painful for her. We have to give her time and I bet that by tomorrow she will be herself again" Josh said with a hopeful voice.
"But she hasn't been herself since the accident." Jane looked up to see Josh's eye "Her eyes don't have the spark that they had before, she does not laugh spontaneously as before, she is not herself again. I miss my Lizzy, our Lizzy, instead we have Liz." Jane told Josh sorrowfully.
"I know I miss Lizzy too" Josh replied while still holding Jane
As Lizzy was walking down the street, she was trying her best to not let tears fall from her eyes. She knew that Jane did not mean what she said, but she could not get her words out of her head. It had been eight years already and she thought she had gotten over the loss of her family, but she couldn't. For the past eight years she still wanted to wake up one morning and have it all be a bad dream, but every morning she woke up, and her family was still dead. There were moments were she was filled with guilt for being alive while they were dead and those moments would come and go in the most unusual moments, but they were constant enough for her to always have a reminder of what she had lost. Lizzy knew that ever since the accident she was no longer the same person everyone knew her to be, she would always be spirited and witty but she had lost the twinkle that made her Lizzy. She did not want to be the same; Lizzy could not be the same, because she believed that if she was the same as before, it would be like betraying her family. It would be like they did not matter, as if they were not important enough for her to miss there presence.
When Lizzy realized that she was no longer near her neighborhood, she turned around and headed to her apartment. It had been almost two hours since she had left the house and she had, had enough time to gather all her emotions. By the time Lizzy entered the apartment all the lights had been turned off except for the hallway light. She made her way up the stairs and went toward her room, which as located at the end of the upstairs hallway. When Lizzy opened her door she was surprised to find Jane laying on her bed sleeping, and she couldn't help repress the smile that was forming on her face. She knew that Jane would not want to sleep without clearing the air between them.
"Wake up sweetie, lets get you to bed." Lizzy said as she tried to wake Jane up.
"No, I wanted to stay up until you got back to talk." Jane tried to explain in a sleepy voice.
"I know but we can talk tomorrow, right now I have to get you to bed."
"No, I need to tell you how sorry I am Elizabeth. I did not mean what I said you, I was out of line." Jane spoke honestly, as she sat up in bed and looked at Lizzy
"There is nothing you have to be sorry for Janie" Lizzy tried to reason with her. Jane could not help but smile when she heard Lizzy using her nickname; she knew that Lizzy had forgiven her even though she personally thought she did not deserve it.
"There is something for me to be sorry about! I was mad at… I don't even know what and I said things that were not true. You have to believe me Lizzy when I tell you that I did not mean what I said." Jane pleaded. Lizzy hated to see Jane look sad, especially when she could have prevented it. Jane was always sweet and cheerful that it broke Lizzy's heart to see her pleading for forgiveness.
"Listen to me Jane, we were both angry and even though I know you did not mean what you said, it was true." Lizzy raised her hand when Jane tried to interrupt her. "I do try to control people around me. Mainly because if I can control them, I can make sure nothing bad happens to them." Lizzy tried to explain her feelings to Jane as they laid in Lizzy's bed. Lizzy explained how she felt vulnerable, and insecure when she did not know what was happening around her at all times, how she would hate for something bad to happen to her or anyone she cared about when she could have prevented it. Jane knew that Lizzy still believed that she could have changed the outcome of what happened eight years ago but did not say anything because she knew that Lizzy was healing little by little and she did not want to rush her. "Lets put this all behind us, and get some sleep because I cant be late to work tomorrow… again." Lizzy finished with a laugh.
"Thank you for always being there for me Lizzy. You have been through so much and yet we all look up to you for support, and you are always there for us." Jane said tiredly as sleep started to reclaim her.
"Don't worry about it, now go to sleep, my dear." Lizzy whispered but then realized that Jane was already asleep. "Good night mom, dad. Goodnight Cindy." She spoke to the stars outside of her window as sleep claimed her too.
The next day Lizzy woke up early in the morning, and tiptoed out of her room because Jane was still sleeping on her bed. She made her way downstairs and grabbed a yogurt from the refrigerator and made her way to the office. She was not surprised to find out that she was the first one in the building, mainly because it was barely 7:15 and they were not expected to be there until 8:00 in the morning. Moving toward to her office, she did not notice that Darcy was just a few steps behind her. When she entered her office the first thing she did was get her coffee maker working, and started her computer. So she was shocked when she looked up and saw Darcy staring at her with a puzzled look.
"Why are you early" Darcy inquired in a curious voice
"Good morning to you too." Lizzy responded sarcastically.
"Oh, sorry, good morning. Its just that, ah, it's really early in the morning." he replied awkwardly.
"Then why are you here?" she asked but continued before he was able to respond, "I usually work my best in the mornings, and I wanted to get set up before Charlie arrives." she explained as she went to coffee maker. "Do you want some, its Guatemalan coffee."
"Ah, yes please, I forgot to get coffee this morning."
"And you were so late that you could not make a road stop on your way here" Lizzy laughed as she found him a coffee cup. Darcy was so intoxicated with her laugh that he did not realize she was making her way to where he stood until she was in front of him.
"Winnie the Pooh?" he asked as he looked at the mug with a confused face.
"Hey, Winnie the Pooh is my favorite ever since I was a child. It was either that or a princess mug." Lizzy offered with a playful smile, that made Darcy loose track of what he was thinking.
"Only if you had Bella, she is my favorite." he answered in a natural voice, but his eyes were sparkling with amusement.
Lizzy laughed so hard that it took her a while to continue talking but Darcy did not care as long as she was laughing "Unfortunately I don't have a Bella mug. There is sugar and all the other stuff people put in coffee over there." she said as she pointed to the far desk.
"You do have everything here!"
"What can I say, I like my coffee in many ways." she spoke as she made her way to the countertop where he was at.
They were so close to each other that both could feel the warm radiating from the other. Darcy could smell the sweet lavender scent in Elizabeth's hair and how each curl moved in unison when she moved her head, while Lizzy could smell his cologne which she started to associate with only him. She knew he was staring at her but she was so confused that she did not know what to do. Was he the man that she met at the elevator and at the meeting or was this the real Darcy, the one that jokes around and seems polite? Was Jane right that he was having a bad morning and that was the reason he was being a jerk? Then she was more confused when she looked up into his eyes and their eyes met for what she thought was an eternity. All she could think about was how penetrating his blue eyes were, how they seemed to claim her very soul when she looked at them.
"Your both early" came a chirpy voice behind them that broke the spell that surrounded them.
"Hello Richard, thank you for the coffee Ms. Bennett. You should get to work before you fall behind schedule." Darcy stated as he left the office without looking at either Richard of Liz.
"Now that is him, the arrogant and irritating Darcy that I met before." Liz thought to herself. "Good morning Richard, do you want some coffee." She asked, as she finished preparing her coffee without looking at Richard.
"No thank you, I was a fool and brought some of my own." he said in an amused voice. "How long have you been here, its still early to be working." he asked as she went to her seat
"Been here for a few minutes actually, I just didn't want to be late again." she joked.
"I will let you get to work or whatever it is we do here and check up on you later. Don't be afraid to call me if you need help on something."
"Got it. Thanks for everything Richard."
"No problem." Richard replied as he left Liz in her office.
