A/N: Hi everyone! I'm Maddy, Nicole's girlfriend. We have both worked really hard on this fic so far and are so thankful for all of the feedback/views. Until this point, Nicole has been exclusively writing the fic with me mostly editing and providing ideas. This chapter though I decided to try my hand at actually writing. I had a great time writing this chapter and will probably continue to write alongside Nicole in the future. Nicole and I love feedback so all is very much appreciated! I hope you guys enjoy.
A/N 2.0: Hey everyone, Nicole here. Maddy will probably be annoyed at me for adding in my two cents but I just wanted to say that I'm super excited for you all to read this chapter. It's the first time we actually collaborated on a chapter since Maddy wrote a lot of the content, and I'm really proud of how it turned out! And even more proud of her for going outside of her comfort zone. :) We hope you'll like it! ❤️
Just like that, Chloe Beale had slipped out of her conversation and was headed in her direction.
Beca's heart was pounding.
Okay, stay cool, she told herself, trying to appear unbothered. She could already tell that it wasn't working.
It happened so quickly. In one moment they were in their two different worlds, and in the next their eyes had locked, bridging them together once again. In a single instant, all of the distance between them closed with one simple glance.
Chloe had looked at her, and there had been a brief moment of shock; of hesitation. There are few, if any words to explain how it feels to lay eyes on someone who has been missing from your life for years, especially someone who once meant so much.
But Chloe had smiled at her—like, actually smiled at her—and Beca felt like she might throw up.
She managed a smile back, or at least hoped she had, and Chloe excused herself from her conversation to make her way through the crowd, a new flicker of hope shining in her eyes.
Beca stood rooted to the ground as Chloe made her way through the crowd, staring at her in a dazed shock. There were plenty of other people surrounding her, but all Beca could see was Chloe.
Chloe passed by the last few people, and suddenly they found themselves standing opposite each other. Face to face, for the first time in over two years.
Beca was suddenly brought back to that day in the airport; the last time she had grasped Chloe's hand, looked into those blue eyes, felt her heart beat against hers as she held her close in her arms.
Beca wanted to speak, but the words seemed to be caught in her throat.
"Hi," Chloe said, her fingers fiddling with the strap of her handbag. She was biting her lip back in that adorable way she always did whenever she was feeling unsure. Beca felt like her heart might beat right out of her chest just at the sight of her.
"Hi," she forced out, her stomach flipping with her nerves. She took Chloe in, her eyes raking over her, wanting to memorize every little detail for her to remember later. "You look…great."
"Thanks," she said, shyly tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear as a slight blush crept upon her cheeks. "So do you."
Chloe really did look breathtaking in her soft blue dress, which coincidentally matched Beca's and nicely complimented both her hair and eyes. She did seem like she'd changed in her appearance, though the differences were subtle. She was still the same old Chloe, stunning as ever, but her face had matured slightly. She seemed to hold herself with more regard; she was confident, but careful. She took herself more seriously, Beca could tell. Her eyes didn't seem to shine quite as bright as they had two years prior.
Beca smiled back at her once she had drank her all in. It hardly seemed like enough.
"Thanks," she said, feeling her own face grow warm. "So…where's everyone else?"
"They're around," Chloe said, a tone of hesitation in her voice. She didn't make any motion to look around for them, her gaze still trained on Beca.
"Beca!" a familiar voice suddenly called from behind, snapping the two of them from their invisible bubble. "Becaaaa!"
Beca turned just in time to see Stacie coming for her, who proceeded to wrap her arms around her and smother her in an involuntary hug.
"It's been forever! How are you?" she asked her, pulling away to look down at her admiringly.
"I—great. It's been great, Stace," Beca said, hating that she had to actually tilt her head back in order to look at her face. "I'm loving the hair!"
"Thanks," she said, tossing it playfully over her shoulder. She was back to her natural dark brown, this time with a few caramel highlights mixed in. "I decided to combine the old with the new."
"Beca," Aubrey said as she walked up, nodding to her. "Nice to see you."
"You too," Beca said, smiling awkwardly as Fat Amy rejoined them, her arms around Emily and Lily. Ashley, Jessica and Flo caught up from behind.
"We're all back together again," Emily gushed, looking round their circle with gratitude shining in her eyes.
"It's so great to see all of you," Beca continued, wringing her fingers together. "I'm sorry I haven't been the best at keeping in touch. I've kind of been the worst, actually, and you guys deserved so much better from me. It's been crazy ever since I got to LA, and I could try to make excuses all I want but I know it wouldn't make anything better, so…I just hope that you'll be able to forgive me."
Beca looked at Chloe as she said the last words, their eyes locking. She had always been terrible at apologies, amongst various other things. To her relief, the girls didn't seem too mad at her, so she hoped that her words would suffice.
Chloe, on the other hand, was a different story. Beca knew that in order to make things right between them again, a proper explanation was the first step. Chloe deserved a proper apology, and so much more than that. Beca wasn't sure if she would ever be able to make it up to her.
"I guess we can forgive you," Aubrey said with the authority of the natural-born leader she was. "Ladies?"
"I suppose," Flo said, coming forward and putting her arm around Beca. "So long as it doesn't happen again."
Beca let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding in, letting a grin inch across her face.
"I'll try my best, but I make no promises," she said, giving Flo a slight bump with her shoulder. The girls all laughed along. She was glad that they didn't seem to hate her, or even be a little angry—and despite all of her worries, it somehow felt like no time had passed between them.
But Beca was still perfectly aware of the dense air between her and the redhead standing to her right. Thick with words that still need to be said; a conversation that needed to be had. Chloe was trying to be happy about the whole situation, Beca could tell.
But now was not the time for them to talk.
"Well," Aubrey said, clapping her hands together, "We should probably head up. I think cocktail hour is starting."
Everyone murmured in approval as Fat Amy made a beeline towards the double doors that lead to the reception hall.
"I saw them handing out some stuffed shrimp and I need to get into that before they run out," she said as she picked up her pace, walking slightly ahead of the rest of the group.
Beca let out a snort at their friend as they entered the hall. It was a large open room with round tables set up behind a vacant area for the dance floor. Towards the front of the room was a four-tier stand holding frosted rose- and gold-coloured cupcakes in the place of a traditional wedding cake. There were paper lanterns hanging from the ceiling and elegant flower centerpieces at the tables. Each different than the last, but still complimenting the theme of the decorations in the room.
"Daaamn, this is nice," Stacie whistled as the Bellas scoped the area for their table.
There was already a crowd of people at the bar getting drinks and Beca realized she desperately needed to get a little alcohol in her system before she chickened out and fled back to her and Amy's hotel room. She was the first to spot a nearby table with a card next to the centerpiece that read 'Bellas' in a pink script font.
"Shit yeah, our table is closest to the bar," Fat Amy said, seeming to reappear out of nowhere, holding a plate filled with stuffed shrimp and some other finger food that Beca couldn't identify.
Beca took her seat first. She was hoping that Chloe would sit next to her, but at the same time wishing that she wouldn't. She missed Chloe. But she also missed how things were with Chloe, and Beca had a lot of apologizing to do before there was even a chance of them being the way they used to be again. And until then, things between them were bound to be tense and a little awkward. There was so much that they both needed to say, but at the moment it wasn't the time or place to get into it.
Beca tried her best to appear casual without making eye contact as Chloe slid into the seat next to her. But she couldn't help herself, and suddenly became lost in the bright blue eyes that once felt like home.
Chloe turned and leaned toward Aubrey trying to hear whatever she was saying over the noise of the crowded bar. In the same motion, Chloe reached under the table and gave Beca's hand a small squeeze. Her breath hitched in her throat at the sudden contact, and after a quick glance and a smile, Chloe had pulled her hand away and had occupied herself with taking a selfie with Flo and Aubrey.
The gesture was small, but it sent a message that lifted a weight off of Beca's shoulders. Chloe knew what Beca was thinking, and Beca knew that Chloe was thinking the same thing. Chloe had always been able to read her like a book. She was the only person in Beca's entire life that her walls weren't able to keep out, which had become the thing Beca both loved and hated the most about her.
With a newfound lightheartedness, Beca stood from her chair.
"Alright, well, I'm headed to the bar. Anyone want a drink?" The question was directed at the entire table, but her gaze was fixed on Chloe.
"Yes, please. I'm too sober," Stacie announced, heading towards the bar without looking back at the rest of them. Flo, Jessica, and Ashley followed close behind her.
"You guys go, I'm good with just water," Emily said in her usual chipper tone, taking a sip of one of the glasses that was already sitting at the table.
"Legacy, don't be such a damn buzzkill," Amy said, pulling her out of her chair and into the ever-growing crowd at the bar.
"What? I just want to remember the moment—" Emily protested, pouting as she was dragged away.
"Chloe?" Beca asked, "Want a drink?"
"Uh, sure, yeah," Chloe answered with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Beca wanted to ask if anything was wrong, but figured it wasn't the right time. She made a mental note to ask her whenever they finally had a chance to really talk.
When they finally reached the bar, Beca walked up to the counter and attempted to get the bartender's attention in the swarm of people. When one finally caught her eye, he walked up to her.
"Whatcha havin', ma'am?" he asked in a thick Georgia accent.
"A whiskey on the rocks for me," Beca said before turning her gaze to the redhead standing behind her. Beca gave Chloe a grin, who rolled her eyes back at her. Beca bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. "And a cosmo for the lady."
She heard Chloe give out a short but loud "Ha!" before she turned around with their drinks in her hands.
"You're a freak," Chloe sighed as Beca handed her her drink, evidently suppressing a grin.
"Yeah, but you love it," Beca smirked as she took a sip of the amber liquid.
She had a feeling she would need all of the courage she could get.
Chloe took a sip of her water and wiped her mouth with her napkin. The food was delicious; she had ordered the chicken entree and was thoroughly enjoying it. The Bellas had fallen silent around the table for a moment, each of them focusing on the food in front of them. She was grateful for the lack of conversation so she could be left with her thoughts and reflect on the happenings of the night so far.
The wedding had been beautiful and the reception hall they were currently sitting in was gorgeous. Chloe had been misty eyed for the entire ceremony until the kiss at the end when the tears finally rolled down her cheeks. Aubrey had laughed at her and went in search of the other Bellas since none of them were sitting together. She had taken that time alone to scan the ceremony space for the girl she had been waiting to see. The one who made her heart skip a beat at the idea of finally being able to talk to and laugh with and hug her again. The one real, true reason Chloe even came to the wedding in the first place.
And then there she was. Dark, stormy blue eyes had cut through the crowd from across the way, finding Chloe. It was as if there was some sort of gravitational pull between them that made it impossible for them to ignore each other when they were near. There was the girl who had been on her mind since the last time they saw each other over two years ago.
There was Beca.
Her mouth went dry and her palms turned sweaty, but Chloe couldn't help but smile at her. There was Beca. Her Beca. Her best friend.
Except, she thought, What if she's different? What if she's changed?
Chloe had been absent from Beca's life for two years. There must be so much she didn't know about her anymore, so many things she had missed. She feared that 'her' Beca wasn't 'her' Beca at all. What if she was a different person altogether? What if she hated her? What if she didn't want anything to do with her at all?
What if she's dating someone? Chloe thought, the idea striking her out of nowhere. For some reason the idea of Beca with a boyfriend made her nauseous. She put down her fork, suddenly not hungry anymore.
As if on cue, Cynthia Rose and Denise walked up to the Bellas' table, hand-in-hand.
"Thanks so much for coming, guys. It wouldn't have been the same without you all here," Cynthia Rose said, glowing from the events of the day.
"Everything looks so beautiful!" Flo practically screamed.
"Yeah, and the bartender is super hot," Stacie added, shooting a predatory look in the direction of the bar. Chloe rolled her eyes and stood up to give CR and Denise a hug.
"Congratulations, both of you. Thanks so much for having us," she said between hugs.
"Wouldn't have had it any other way," CR replied with a smile. "I'll see you guys later. Enjoy the rest of the night. And don't get too drunk!" she called over her shoulder as her and Denise walked towards the other tables to greet the rest of the guests.
"Too late!" Beca called out as she finished off her third glass of whiskey. Chloe had never seen Beca legitimately drunk before, but she was sure she couldn't have been anything more than tipsy.
Just as she was about to sit back down, the lights went down and the DJ in the corner of the room started up, a loud hip-hop song coming in over the speakers. The girls grabbed their drinks and headed out to the dance floor: cheering, laughing and already slightly drunk. Chloe smiled at the sight of Ashley and Jessica smashing Emily between them and grinding into her.
She had missed her Bellas and was over the moon that they were all able to be together on this special night. But something was wrong. Something was off with Chloe and she couldn't quite figure out what it was. She began to notice it about a year ago. She had started feeling less and less like her perky, optimistic self. When she looked in the mirror, her eyes didn't shine as bright as they used to. She attributed it to missing Atlanta and the Bellas. But here she was, in Atlanta with her Bellas again and she still felt the same way.
The realization was sobering, hitting her as she sat back down in her chair. Her body suddenly felt numb, and her stomach twisted with worry. This was supposed to be her chance to feel normal again. She had waited so long for this weekend, having counted down to it ever since she received the save the date card in the mail. Everything was going well, and the rest of the girls seemed to be having a great time. So why wasn't she?
Chloe was so absorbed by her own thoughts that she hadn't realized that Beca was still sitting beside her, watching her, the rest of the table now vacant. She was the only other one of the group who hadn't rushed over to the dance floor.
"Chloe?" she asked tentatively, snapping her from her trance. She looked up to see Beca staring at her, a concerned frown on her lips. "Are you okay?"
"Hm? Oh, yeah," Chloe said in a rush, waving her hand as if to brush her off. "I'm fine. I was just, uh, thinking."
"Okay," Beca said, offering a slight smile. "You don't want to go dance?"
Chloe shrugged, feeling her stomach twist again.
"Maybe later," she said, trying to return Beca's smile. "I'm, uh…still really full from dinner."
"Okay, yeah, that's totally understandable," Beca said, nodding vigorously.
Chloe couldn't help the grin that snuck onto her lips. She could tell that Beca wasn't totally buying it, and as a result she was trying to to appear genuinely concerned and empathetic, which was just not her strong suit at all. It was sweet that she was trying to be caring, and Chloe appreciated it—but they both knew that Beca simply didn't know how. It was both adorable and hilarious to see her try.
"What?" Beca asked her, her eyebrow arching up, seeing her grin. "What's so funny?"
Chloe had to stifle a giggle, then rushed to compose herself.
"Nothing, nothing," she assured her, pressing her lips together quickly to keep her from laughing. Beca just looked even more skeptical, her brow arching further as another giggle escaped Chloe's lips.
Maybe things would be okay after all.
Beca's expression softened, and she smiled back at Chloe. A different look passed over her as they gazed at each other, one that was slightly more solemn and searching. Chloe's stomach fluttered nervously.
"Chloe, look," Beca said softly, leaning towards her. "I already said my piece to everyone else, and that was enough for them. But there's a lot that's still left unsaid between us, and you deserve a proper explanation, even though there's really no excuse for what I did…I just hope you'll hear me out."
Chloe stared at Beca, momentarily stunned into silence. She had never seen this side of her, her dark blue eyes betraying an honesty and vulnerability that Beca rarely, if ever, let anyone see. It was almost enough to bring Chloe to tears when she thought about how much she must care about making things right between them if she was willing to put herself out there like this. In all the time that Chloe had known her, Beca had scarcely shown this side of her, even when it was just the two of them. Despite the fact that they were best friends, Chloe often felt like she had hardly even scratched the surface of the walls that Beca had built around herself, only letting bits and pieces of her sensitivity show from time to time.
She couldn't even begin to express it at the moment, but just the fact that Beca was making this stride for her and for their friendship made Chloe's heart swell with affection and gratitude. She knew how hard it must have been for Beca to put herself out there like this, and it truly meant the world to Chloe that she cared that much.
"Of course," Chloe told her, her eyes misty. "That would really mean a lot to me, Beca."
"Okay, good." she smiled back at her, an expression of relief passing over her features. "Do you want to maybe go somewhere where it's not as loud?"
"Yeah, okay," Chloe nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. It was too early to tell if she was truly different, but so far the changes she saw in Beca were only positive. This Beca was thoughtful and considerate. To the rest of the world, she may have seemed like the same sarcastic and guarded girl she had always been. But to Chloe, this version of her made her heart soar with happiness.
Beca led the way through a side door onto a balcony Chloe hadn't noticed before. She held the door open for Chloe and walked towards the railing, spreading her hands out across it as she looked out at the vast expanse of golf terrain. There was a slight chill in the air as the sun had just disappeared below the horizon, casting gorgeous pink and purple streaks all over the sky. Chloe had to fight the impulse to curl herself into Beca to keep warm, shivering slightly at the change in temperature. Instead she followed behind her, keeping her distance and waiting for her to speak.
It was silent for a few moments between them, and Beca still hadn't turned around to face her. Chloe could tell that she was tense about all of this, her fingers curling anxiously around the balcony rail. Even though she wanted to see Beca's face, she knew it was probably easier for her to say what she needed to without having to look her in the eyes.
"Chloe…" she finally started, so quietly that Chloe almost had to strain to hear her. "I'm really sorry. I—" she stopped suddenly, inhaling a breath as she straightened her back, "I'm really, really sorry, and I know that sounds like a load of crap, because what is 'sorry' going to do about anything…But I am."
Chloe stayed where she was, for a moment not knowing what to say. Seeing how crestfallen and hurt Beca was made her heart ache. She knew how hard this was for her, as letting her guard down was not something she did, if ever. It just went against Beca's nature. But she was trying; Chloe could see that. Just knowing that she was making an effort made her want to wrap her arms around her and push aside any bad feelings that may have still lingered between them.
"Beca, it's okay," Chloe said in a soft voice, not wanting to add to her hurt. It was then that Beca at last turned to face her, her blue eyes growing darker by the second.
"It's okay?" she repeated, incredulous. "It's not okay, Chlo. It's a lot of things, but 'okay' is not one of them. I promised to stay in touch. I promised to be a good friend to you. I promised that nothing would come between us and the second I got the LA that all went to shit!"
Beca was staring at her with an almost crazed look in her eyes. But all Chloe could do was stand there, wringing her fingers together. All she wanted was to reach out and pull her into her arms. It was clear that she had lost sleep over this, that she was hurting over it, and that upset Chloe more than anything else.
"I shouldn't have done that to you. To us," Beca murmured, averting her eyes.
"Then…Why did you?"
The words had left her mouth before she had a chance to stop them. She didn't want to upset Beca more than she already was. But the fact remained that that very question had burned in her mind for months, and now years. If anything at all, Chloe just wanted to know why.
But Beca didn't react. Her gaze shifted to her feet, but Chloe's eyes never left her. She could tell that Beca was battling as to whether she should tell Chloe the truth, or try to pass off a lie. Pausing for a moment longer, she took a deep, slow breath.
"It was just easier that way," she finally said.
"Easier?" Chloe asked, "How?"
"I missed you." Beca said, her eyes flickering to Chloe's. "I missed you so much, Chlo—it sounds so stupid but I never expected it to be that hard. I've never missed anyone like that. I've never really needed anyone else before. But all of the sudden I was in LA and it was supposed to be new and exciting and I was supposed to be fulfilling my dreams, but instead it was just lonely and unfamiliar, and you weren't there. It hurt not having anyone and it hurt not having you with me. The idea of only getting to text you or hear your voice without actually getting to be with you," she shook her head, "It was easier to just…push you away. And it wasn't right. I was selfish, and stupid, and it wasn't fair to you, Chlo. I am just so, so sorry."
Chloe hadn't realized there were tears in her eyes until she felt them roll down her cheeks. It hurt her to see Beca in so much pain over her, over their friendship. She remembered how hard it had been to say goodbye that day in the airport. She just wished she had known how hard it had been for Beca, too.
Chloe stepped towards her, at last giving into her urge to be near her.
"I'm not mad at you, Becs," she finally said. Beca looked up at her with big, round eyes and Chloe's heart almost burst with all the love she had for her best friend.
"I wasn't the greatest friend to you, either. I could have made more time for us, so I'm sorry, too. But I'm here now, and we have the rest of the weekend to catch up and try to make things right again," she offered with a smile.
Beca's eyes were still locked onto hers as Chloe walked up and took her hand in her own.
"We'll be alright," she told her, her smile meeting her eyes this time. Beca's gaze flickered from Chloe, to their locked hands, then back to Chloe. In that moment, there was a spark of electricity that shot between them. The kind that made Chloe's heart drop to her stomach. A spark that was sudden, unexpected, but undeniable. She could tell Beca felt it too by the way the brunette's eyes grew wider, and the way she swallowed with nervousness. Somehow there, looking into Beca's ocean blue eyes, was the happiest Chloe had been in a long time.
The sound of the door flying open made them both jump and retract their hands. The sudden lack of contact made Chloe frown.
"There you are!" Amy shouted drunkenly. "If you two are done making out, you should come back to the party. Everyone has been looking for the both of you for half an hour!"
"We weren't—oh my god," Beca said, rolling her eyes in her exasperation. "We weren't making out!"
Chloe couldn't help but laugh at the flustered look on Beca's face.
"Come on, we should get back inside anyway. It's getting kinda cold out here," Chloe said, grabbing Beca by the wrist and following Fat Amy inside.
All of the sudden Chloe was feeling light and carefree, now wanting nothing more than to join her Bellas on the dance floor. She held onto Beca, dragging her with her, knowing the brunette would never go on her own.
"Oh my god!" Aubrey cried, pushing through the crowd."Where have you guys been?! We've been looking for you everywhere!"
"Oh, we were just talking," Chloe replied, keeping her eyes on Beca. They smiled at each other, then back at Aubrey. "C'mon, let's dance!"
Chloe spent the rest of the night dancing and singing obnoxiously with the best friends she'd ever had. Every so often when she was feeling brave, she would back into Beca, grinding into her ever so slightly. She would get a small high off of the way Beca's eyes grew and how her cheeks flushed.
Four hours later when Chloe reached her hotel room, she stripped out of her dress and got ready for bed. She laid there, her feet aching from dancing in her heels, but Chloe was the happiest she had been in a long time. The happiest she'd been since going back to Oregon for vet school. And, she still had the rest of the weekend in Atlanta with her Bellas. With Beca.
As Chloe drifted off to sleep, she was the only thing on her mind.
A/N: I know it may seem like we are taking things pretty slow so far, but it will be worth it! We have everything planned in our heads and we hope you all will continue along this Bechloe journey with us because the fun is just starting ;)
