:) You know, you guys are just the best…. it's a bit of a long chapter but i hope you guys like it. :)
"Elsa…"
The fear in Anna's voice made the queen jump up instantly, the frost already at her fingertips for who ever she needed to fight. She was wide-awake now but it still took her some time to orientate. Trees, why where there trees? Oh god, the pick nick, they'd fallen asleep.
"Elsa, I'm… I'm scared."
Her baby sister let out with a tiny voice. The queen grabbed her hand and squeezed it comforting. Her eyes sought out those of Anna in the dark and she cupped the younger girls face with her free hand. Looking directly at her she slightly shook her head. Anna's lips curled up in the corners and she flung herself at her sisters' neck. Elsa pulled her in closer and was once again drowned in the fragrance of the red heads hair. A little drowsy she broke the hug; it was probably a better idea if they would ride back to the castle.
"How good is your eyesight at night Anna?"
"Hah, well that depends on how you look at it… hehe look at it… did you get… oh never mind. It sucks."
"Well I guess we just have to ride one horse together then."
"Actually about that… "
Elsa shot up and twirled around. The horses, where were the horses? Arendelle was at least days walk away; it would take them forever to get back. They could walk al night and they still would not make it to breakfast. She grunted as she turned herself to face the princess who was now nervously playing with the hem of her blouse.
"Anna…"
The queen demanded.
"I forgot to tie them to the tree, I mean I was so hungry and I didn't expect you to fall asleep. Hell everybody knows I do, I think I'm the biggest sleeper in the country but not my sister. You are always so…"
"So what?"
"Reserved."
The words stung more then the queen had anticipated and she couldn't help that her brow instantly knitted together in an expression of pain. By the look on Anna's crestfallen face she knew her sister didn't want to hurt her but it stung never the less. Her baby sister saw her as reserved, an ice cold woman who would never open up to her. Somebody she knew, but not really. Well Elsa had no one to thank for that but herself. All these years of pushing her sister out had taken it's toll, that shouldn't be such a big surprise.
"Elsa…"
Her sister whispered but the queen lifted her hand in response.
"It's okay, Anna."
"Do you hate me?"
The ice blue eyes shot op to meet her sisters' own blue orbs.
"What?"
"Do you hate me?"
Anna asked again, softly. Elsa felt how the tears where building up and she tried hard to swallow them down. Her voice was broken never the less when she was finally able to reply.
"Anna, I could never hate you! You are my sister, you are my world. Why would you ever think I'd hate you?"
The red head started plucking on her fingers and looking around nervously. She wasn't to good with all these confrontational conversations and the last time she tried to have one her sister froze her heart. Not that she could blame her for that of course, she knew she had pushed her, but it made her uncomfortable none the less.
"You hardly ever come and see me again."
The whispers sounded faint but the expression on Elsa's face told the princess her message came trough. Was it fear? No, it was pain. She managed to hurt her sister yet again.
"Anna, I withdraw myself from you because I know you fear me."
"Fear you?"
Now it was her turn to push out a surprised question. The queen was taken aback and she tilted her head ever just so slightly.
"Elsa, I'm not afraid!"
"But why do you look so, antsy, when I catch you looking at me."
Anna's mouth dropped and her cheeks turned into such a vivid shade of red that Elsa couldn't help but notice it, even in the dark of night. It surprised the queen to get such a reaction from her sister. Surely she must have known that she knew.
"Well, you see… that's a fun story…"
Her sister started stammering, confusing her even more. Why couldn't she just admit that she was scared of her? Of her powers and what it had done to the princess and the people of Arendelle? Elsa just stood there with a pondering look on her face which was evidently enough to spur her sister on.
"I don't fear you Elsa… I love you. I love, love you."
"You mean…"
Anna nodded, her eyes now turned to the ground and the tears flowing down her cheeks freely. Elsa's heart broke at the sight of her baby sister who apparently had felt the same tension that she did. She stepped in en cupped her sisters cheek.
"Since when?"
"The night I broke up with Kristoff."
"You what!?" Anna's voice shrieked throughout the silent castle. If the queen wasn't up yet she was know, Kristoff thought to himself frantically. He raised his hands to quiet the angry princess down but she wouldn't have it. Her eyes shot fire and he didn't think he ever saw her so enraged before. Not even when Elsa had Marshmallow toss them out of the ice palace. To say that it scared him was an understatement he was petrified.
"She's a troll… I mean there's nothing wrong with that, but you are human. That's not natural!"
"Anna please… please just quiet down."
"What's wrong with me? What have I done to you that is so terrible that you will leave me for a troll?"
"Ugh!"
He gasped out in frustration while he yanked at his own hair.
"It isn't anything you did Anna! I love her, I always have. It just took her forever to realize that she loved me too. There's nothing wrong with love when it is consensual!"
"So you don't love me? You risk a snowstorm to come and safe me but only so you can tell me that you are in love with a troll?"
"Anna, I do love you, just not like that and I know you don't love me in that way either."
"Don't you dare…"
Anna had raised her finger but Kristoff had grabbed it and pushed it away.
"You know I'm not your true love Anna, we both know who is."
He had whispered the words, but the stung nonetheless. The tears filled up the blue eyes as she silently raised her had again, this time her finger was pointing at the door. He had gone to far, she wouldn't have it. All she ever wanted it was to feel normal and accepted. To have a boyfriend who only had eyes for her and wanted to make her world a better place. She thought she had found that in Hans but he turned out to be an abusive traitor. From the moment that he left her for dead she had decided never to be misled again, ever. Yet, here she was. Her boyfriend… ex-boyfriend just left her to be with some hyperactive troll and used her own feelings against her to cover up his mess. He had no right to speak to her in such a manner and they both knew it. He hastily bolted for the door while he left the red head behind, crying.
Elsa stood frozen in her room. She was surround by dark spiky ice but didn't move a muscle. She had heard almost every single word to the fight across the hallway and every fiber in her body screamed to run out and comfort her sister. She cursed Kristoffer in her mind for hurting Anna so much but she couldn't think to bad of the man at all. In the end he was still a good guy that risked his life to safe her sister. He turned out to be decent and loyal, well until this evening. Elsa closed her eyes; she should feel happy that he was out of her way. He had stolen too much of Anna's time in the past few weeks as it was. Why couldn't she be happier?
Because he was the only thing stopping you from hitting on your own bloody sister.
It was true though, the only boundary she had left. He made her feel normal and that was what Anna needed right? A knock on the door.
Anna didn't wait this time; she bolted in and nearly slipped on the ice that was suddenly underneath her feet. Elsa thawed the spikes just in time before her sister would've gotten impaled. Instead she just bumped into the bed and right into the queen's arms.
"Elsa?"
Her voice sounded so little and her eyes looked so desperate that it broke Elsa's hearth. She pulled the red head into a tight embrace and let her cry. It didn't bother her at all that the wet drops soaked her sleeping shirt at the hem. She softly placed her hand at the small of her sister's back and guided her to her bed.
What are you doing Elsa? Do you have any idea in how much danger you will put her? Do you honestly want to freeze her again?
The queen shivered but clenched her jaw. She had to be strong now for her baby sister, she couldn't run from this. She had to put her own feelings aside and care for Anna for a change. She had to control her powers for her sister's sake.
But what if you can't?
"I can."
She grunted under her breath, provoking a surprised look from her sister. Elsa's cheeks flustered, she couldn't tell Anna about her fear of freezing her again, of hurting her. She couldn't tell her that she was scared that her feelings would turn her into a monster in her baby sister's eyes. She couldn't tell her anything.
Good thing that this isn't about you then narcissist.
She helped her sister in the giant bed and set down next to her. Her hands stroke the red locks in a soothing mannerbut it wasn't enough.
"Hold me Elsa."
Anna's voice sounded hoarse and the queen couldn't do anything but obey. She slid underneath the thin blanket and snuggled up next to her sister. Her heart broke when she felt the body shaking from the sobs that now escaped the pale, pink lips. Maybe she could hate Kristoff after all.
"I've got you Anna, I've got you."
She whispered the words into the red heads ears. The same words she had whispered all these years ago when she had hit her with her icy blast. It was only an accident but it was the start of a very solitary life, for the both of them. She still hated herself for that. Nah, Kristoff didn't even come close to her when it came to hurting her baby sister, so why was she even here in her bed?
True love, isn't that cute?
"Elsa?"
"Hm."
"I love you."
The temperature dropped, but only for a second.
"I love you too snowflake. I love you too."
Anna turned around and buried her nose in the crook of Elsa's neck. The queen noticed how her little sister moaned when she placed her cold lips on the top of her head, sending a strange sensation right between her tights.
For heaven sakes… not now Elsa!
She closed her eyes shut and tried to remember her late father's voice.
"Conceal, don't feel."
"What?"
Way to go your highness…
"It's what father used to tell me when I was upset. It just… I feels…"
"Hmm."
Anna breathed heavily against her sisters' cold neck, tightening her embrace. Neither of them spoke another word.
"He was right, Kristoff, you are my true love. I've longed for you before, ever since the coronation, but I thought it was just… you know… sisterly love."
Elsa stood frozen as she remembered that night. As she remembered her own longing for her sister. All this time where she thought her sister was to scared to look at her, where she thought Anna feared her because of her power… Anna only feared for her to figure it out and that had just come true.
"Elsa I am sorry, I know it's not natural. I'll... I don't know… I'll go and find my own pla.."
The princess was cut off mid sentence by the ice-cold lips of her sister that now pressed against her own. Surprised she moaned in reply and then opened op her mouth to let the queens' tongue enter.
