Title: Continue on Through the Tears
Summary: Severus may hate his father but he loves his mother.
Pairing/Characters: Severus, Eileen and Tobias Snape
Rating: T
Warnings: Child abuse, alcohol abuse, suicide
Notes: Written for Jenny (Claude Amelia Song) I really hope you like it.
Written for Herbology: Write about a character who keeps on going despite numerous previous hardships. Extra prompt: (word) crooked
Severus kept his head down and his steps light as he ran through Spinner's End. He was almost home; just a few more houses. As his feet dodged the dangerous cracks and noisy bottles on the ground, he chanced a glance behind him to make sure no one was following. They weren't.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Severus slowed down just enough to catch his breath. He couldn't afford to stop, but if he arrived home out of breath his father would know that he'd almost been caught and he couldn't take another beating tonight.
His home came into view but instead of the feeling of relief, he only felt dread. What awaited him in there was far worse than anything out here. Still, his mother was inside and he would never leave her alone. He clutched his stolen package close to his chest and opened the front door, locking it behind him with a soft click.
"Severus? That you?"
Severus glared in the direction of the voice for a moment before plastering a blank mask over his face. His father use to be a nice man. He use to play with Severus in the backyard and care for his mother like fathers were meant to do. That all changed when he lost his job.
It started out slow, but by the time Severus was eight years old, the man he knew as his father was gone and a mean drunk now lived in his place.
"Severus?" The man appeared around the corner, his pale face and eyes alit with life that only appeared for the bottle that Severus held in his hands.
"I got it." Severus' voice was completely void of all emotion, but it was a real struggle to keep the frustration out of his voice. Today was the third time he'd had to steal alcohol from the local store and it had to be the last time. He would be caught if he didn't change stores. Again.
"Thank you, Son."
Severus couldn't prevent the sneer appearing on his features when his father said that, something his father didn't miss.
"Watch your attitude," he snapped before snatching the bottle from Severus' hands and disappearing back into the living room.
Severus clenched his hands into fists, but he didn't voice his anger. Instead, he turned to the stairs and trudged up them like there was a weight pressing his shoulders to the ground.
When he opened the room that belonged to his mother cold air hit his face like a whip. Muttering a curse, Severus raced to the window and shut it. He turned to the fire place next, noticing it was almost out. He cursed again before stroking it until it was a roaring flame again. Only then did he turn to his mother.
She was lying huddled under the blankets of her bed shivering. Her lips were blue and her face almost white. Without another thought, Severus climbed into the bed with her and cuddled close. He wasn't exactly warm considering he'd just been outside himself, but he would help his mother warm up a bit and that was all that mattered.
"Severus, you're back." His mother's voice was so soft and weak that Severus couldn't stop his wince upon hearing it.
"I'm sorry, Mother."
"Oh don't be sorry, dear." His mother coughed as soon as she finished speaking, the fit lasting for almost 4 full minutes. Severus cringed the whole time.
"I told him to shut your window. I told him before I left, but I should have known he would forget," Severus said after she'd finished coughing. He cuddled even closer and tucked his head underneath her chin.
She pulled him close and started rubbing a delicate hand over his head.
"It's not your fault what he chooses to do and not to do." Her voice held contempt for her husband and Severus knew that if his mother had the strength or the money she would have left the man years ago. Unfortunately, she had neither.
"How can I go to Hogwarts and leave you in his care?" Severus said after a short silence. It wasn't something he'd wanted to bring up before, knowing his mother would be devastated, but he couldn't stand the thought of leaving his mother alone with that man.
"You must go to Hogwarts," she said with a surge of strength. "You cannot ignore your birth right."
"No mother, I won't go to Hogwarts and leave you here alone. I won't even open the stupid letter when it arrives." Severus buried his head into his mother's shoulder, effectively ending the conversation. His mother sighed but complied with his wishes for now.
The bags continued to slip through his arms, but Severus just shifted them higher again. He was grateful he'd only been collecting groceries because if he'd had to go alcohol shopping, he'd have to have travelled almost half an hour for the alcohol his father desired. All the shop keepers around Spinner's End were starting to recognise him.
The grocery store he shopped at was owned by a little blind lady and her weak boned husband. They were both nice to him, and best of all, they owned a shop that was nowhere near a liquor store. The chances of him being recognised were very slim.
As he walked into the hallway and placed the shopping on the counter he spotted the letter he'd received a few days ago. He hadn't opened it despite all his mother's begging and his own desire. He didn't want to be tempted.
"Severus? Did you get some more?"
Severus froze. His father couldn't be finished the last bottle already could he?
"Severus?"
His father came around the corner and started rummaging through the bags. His search became more frantic when he couldn't find what he was looking for. When he'd been through every bag and hadn't found the bottle, he turned to Severus with a deadly fire in his eyes.
"Where is it?"
"I didn't get any." Severus tried to keep his fear hidden, but he was only eleven years old. There was only so much fear he could hide.
"Why not?" His father's voice was dangerously calm and Severus could feel his fear growing.
"I went to Mrs Brown's shop. She doesn't sell alcohol."
The slap came out of nowhere and Severus was thrown into the nearby counter. His eyes focused on a bead just tucked under the counter as his father approached him.
"Next time, don't go there," he said, practically looming over Severus' crumbled frame.
Severus prepared himself for a full-on beating but someone was apparently looking out for him as his father stalked back into the living room without another word to his son.
Severus rubbed his check and shook his head to get rid of the tears. It wasn't really the pain that had his eyes watering but the shock of the slap. He hadn't been prepared at all for it, even though he really should have been.
Feeling cold seeping into his chest, Severus dashed up the stairs to check on his mother. He wanted her warm arms around him and her soft voice singing in his ears. He appeared at her door in record time, pushing the door open and stepping inside.
"Mother? Are you awake?"
He stepped inside and was relieved to see the fire still going strong. He moved to his mother's bedside and placed a hand on her shoulder. She didn't move. She didn't even flinch which was completely unusual.
Severus shook her gently and when that didn't elicit a response, he shook her harder.
"Mother," he called out as he shook her. "Mother, wake up."
He moved to the other side of her bed to look at her face. When he reached the other side, he spotted a piece of paper on her bedside table. His hand shook as he picked up the sheet and read the words.
Go to Hogwarts. There's nothing holding you back now.
Severus shook his head. "She wouldn't," he muttered, but even as he said it Severus knew he was lying. He felt cold wrap around his heart and he thought of the bead abandoned under the counter.
"Mother," he practically sobbed. "Mother, please, wake up." He crawled onto the bed and made her arms wrap around his frame. "Please don't leave me alone." He felt like that bead.
The station was crowded and smelly. The loud laughter of students and parents telling their children to calm down hurt his ears. There was a boy with dark hair pulling away from his mother as she fussed over him and a girl with blond hair who was sobbing into her father's arms. A flash of red hair caught his attention, but Severus didn't search for Lily's familiar face. He didn't want to talk to her today.
He approached the train with strong steps, carrying his bag without any help from anyone. He found an empty compartment easily as the other students were with their families and too busy saying goodbye. He heaved his luggage into the storage area by himself and only just managed it without dropping it on his head.
When he sat on the chair, he glanced out for only a moment. He scanned the crowds and crowds of people with a disinterested gaze knowing the only face he wanted to see wasn't there. She would never be there.
(w.c 1,575)
WolfWinks-xx-
