Poor Komamura. Byakuya sure is a cruel guy. Thanks to "FullmetalWookiee", Halibel Lecter, Espada-Reese, and Chibified Youkai 101 for your kind reviews! They maketh me happish.

Here's a recap from the previous chapter:

Komamura stepped into his office and stretched, savoring the ache in his muscles as he flexed them. It was so nice to come back from some hard training to an office where there weren't intimidating stacks of paperwork waiting to be finished.

Suddenly, though, he saw something sitting on the desk…

Sorry, Komamura may be a little different than he's usually portrayed. Enjoy!


Komamura froze. There, sitting on his desk, was a cat.

Komamura's fur bristled. He felt himself bare his teeth and growl at the cat. How dare it come in here and perch itself on his desk as though it owned the office! Disgusting, filthy creature.

Crouching so the cat would not see him, Komamura sprang, his jaws reaching for the cat. He let loose a snarl, a growl so fierce that Kenpachi would have wet his pants.

The fox captain closed his jaws over the body of the cat. I have you now! He thought with glee. And then he bit down, not hard enough to kill or even seriously injure, but just enough to teach that cat to spread the word that felines were not tolerated in his office.

He soon regretted this action. The cat hat was hard as a rock, and biting down on it made his mouth fill with such excruciating pain that he dropped the cat and tilted his head back in a pained howl.

After the pain subsided, Komamura sat up and eyed the cat suspiciously. It's not…even a real cat! He realized indignantly after some examining it. Some sort of toy…

His eyes lit up, and he looked around to make sure the windows were closed, and the curtains pulled over them. He looked at the door, and closed and locked it.

Komamura then settled down to play with the cat hat. Sure, it might be harder than Orihime's head, but as long as he was careful…


After about an hour of play, Komamura was still itching for more. But as he looked around the messy office, with the ink spilled on the floor and table, the smashed lights, and the vase of flowers knocked over, he decided that he ought to go somewhere where there was more room to enjoy his toy.

Then he wondered how he should carry it. Carrying it in his mouth seemed too…animal, yet carrying it with his hands made him feel self conscious. He pondered for a while, then remembered that he used to wear a helmet. That's it! He smiled and slipped the cat hat over his head. He had to stretch it slightly to make it fit over his ears, but otherwise…perfect.

Komamura cautiously walked out of his office in search of a larger area for his toy. He couldn't stop his tail from wagging as he trotted down the hall, shaking the ground as he fairly bounced along.

A quick movement near his feet caught his eye. He looked down, and lo and behold, there was a mouse!

Hmph, Komamura thought, this place is being overrun by animals! He shook his head and watched the mouse disappear into a mouse hole.

THE CAT HAT'S EYES CLICKED OPEN.

IT SAW A MOUSE RUNNING INTO A HOLE IN

THE WALL.

THE EYES CLICKED CLOSED AGAIN.

Komamura dropped to his hands and knees. Wagging his tail, he rushed towards the mouse hole. Of course, it was too small for even his muzzle, but he pushed farther in. The wood started breaking. Komamura pushed harder, ignoring the splinters of wood that cut his face.

Just then, Yachiru ran down the hallway. She stared at the fox captain, who was trying to push his whole head through the wall. Her face broke into a smile.

"Koma-koma! What're you doing?" she beamed as she knelt by him to watch in fascination as the wood chips flew from the hole.

Komamura's reply was a wagging of his tail and a happy pant as he bashed his head against the wall, trying to follow the mouse. Yachiru giggled. "Keep going, Koma-koma! Harder, harder, HARDER!"

Encouraged, the poor fox captain started using his jaws to chew the wood away. Soon, he burst through the wall and—

Yamamoto, the soutaichou, was sitting at his desk drinking tea. He turned and stared at Komamura, who bounded into the room yelping happily with splinters and wood chips hanging from his muzzle.

Komamura suddenly came back to his senses. Wait…why did I do that? He looked around, and caught sight of Yamamoto. His stomach dropped.

Yamamoto raised an eyebrow. "Care to explain what you're doing, Komamura-taichou?"

Komamura bowed his head in shame. "I…I'm sorry. There was a mouse…" He stopped there, realizing how silly he sounded.

"I'll leave you alone now," he said hastily, and turned to leave. For a split second, he actually considered going back through the hole in the wall, but quickly ran out the door before he could embarrass himself more.


Komamura stopped by the bathroom to clean himself up, and then continued on his journey. The cat hat refused to come off, which surprised him. He had expected it to fall off when he had gone through the tiny hole.

He wondered where he should go next. Perhaps…he could go to a secluded area of the training field and—yes, yes, that was exactly the solution!

Komamura patted himself on the back for coming up with such a brilliant plan, and sneaked into the training field. It didn't look like there was anyone there, except for a few seated officers and maybe a lieutenant or two.

Komamura smiled and reached his hand up to pry to cat hat off his head—

THE CAT HAT'S EYES CLICKED OPEN.

IT SAW A BUTTERFLY DAINTILY FLAPPING

ITS WINGS AND LANDING ON THE HEAD

OF A BLONDE-HAIRED MAN.

THE EYES CLICKED CLOSED AGAIN.

Komamura froze, his hand still on the cat hat. His head turned towards Kira, who was training with Renji. He started flapping his arms up and down as he bounced towards the pair, shaking the ground.

The poor blonde and Renji looked up as Komamura approached with a manic smile on his face. "Uhh…" Renji quickly shunpoed away as fast as he could.

Whee! Komamura was engulfed by glee as he bounced over to Kira, his arms still waving wildly. "I'm flying!" he shouted.

Kira stared in horror as the gigantic fox captain leaped towards him. "P-please don't hurt me!" he cried, backing away.

Komamura simply carried on as though he hadn't heard at all. Almost there! He thought as he took one enormous leap at Kira. He grinned in triumph as he flew onto Kira's head.

"Help! I'm being mauled!" Kira bawled as he crumpled to the ground, Komamura sitting on his head. "I—nmph—can't—breathe—"

Several other shinigami were hurrying over to investigate the scene. They all stared, their jaws scraping the ground, as Komamura sat on the blonde's head with a calm smile on his face.

Someone must have called for Unohana, and the braid lady hurried over. She raised an eyebrow at the sight and asked Komamura to get off Kira (the blonde had stopped struggling by now).

Komamura looked at her with his tongue hanging out of his mouth and a blank expression on his face.

It took almost all the shinigami in the training field to lift the fox captain off Kira (who was blue in the face and unconscious). As they tugged and grunted, Komamura suddenly blinked and jumped. He looked at the shinigami pulling at his sleeve and tilted his head in surprise.

"What happened?" he asked. Then he felt something under his legs. He peered down, and started when he saw the blue-faced man. He looked up into Unohana's amused face.

"Sorry!" he yelped, and jumped off Kira as fast as he could. "I, uh…" No one was paying attention anymore. The 4th Division medical team had arrived and taken Kira away. Every shinigami had left the training field, just in case Komamura decided to try to stunt again.

Komamura stood in the empty field. He felt his face grow hot. Why'd I do that? He wondered. Then his eyes lit up. Hey, now I can play!

He tried to pull the cat hat off, but it refused to budge. Puzzled, he yanked harder on it. Ow! It felt like he was trying to pull his ears off.

A deep sense of dread crept over the poor fox captain. No…what am I going to do?! He yanked harder on the hat, ignoring the pain. Please…come off!

However, no matter how much he rubbed it against the ground, no matter how many times he jerked it, no matter how much effort he put into pulling it off, the hat wouldn't move. Not even a smidge.

Finally, Komamura gave up. He sighed and sat down on the ground, his hands over his face. I'll never get it off, he thought. Unless…

Yes, that was it! He could go and have someone else pull it off. Komamura mentally congratulated himself for yet another wonderful idea, and ran into the building as fast as his legs could carry him.


"Hmph. Sounds easy enough." The tall Captain of 11th Division circled Komamura again, eying the hat. "Take zanpakutou. Cut hat."

"Carefully," Komamura added, wondering if it was such a great idea to ask Kenpachi after all. He didn't really like the violent man, but he knew he needed someone with immense strength to help him get the cat hat off.

"Yeah, yeah." Kenpachi waved his hand. "I'm not going to take off your scalp or anything. Although I hear that eating fox ears is good for growing muscles."

"Just get it off," Komamura growled through his teeth. Kenpachi rolled his eyes and unsheathed his zanpakutou. He licked his lips and started sawing away.

Komamura let his eyes wander all over the office. There was a suspicious red stain on the floor. The fox captain winced slightly, wondering who the unlucky victim had been.

He soon noticed that Kenpachi seemed to be sawing with difficulty. "Having some trouble?"

"No!" Kenpachi snapped back firmly. "I'm—making progress." He scowled at the unmarred cat hat and sliced more aggressively.

Komamura sighed. His legs were getting awful tired. "May I sit down?" he asked.

"No!" Kenpachi glared at the cat hat. Suddenly he blinked. "Hey…this looks like the hat Kuchiki was wearing…"

Komamura tuned him out. This is quite boring, he thought. He looked around for something else that would capture his attention. He didn't want to look at that red stain anymore.

His eyes eventually went to the window.

THE CAT HAT'S EYES CLICKED OPEN.

IT SAW A DOG SAYING HELLO TO ANOTHER DOG.

THE EYES CLICKED CLOSED AGAIN.

"…and then he jumps up and yells 'You mocking me?!'…" Kenpachi said as he stabbed the cat hat. But the fox captain wasn't listening.

Komamura whirled around and faced Kenpachi. He dropped to his hands and knees. He wagged his tail and looked up at the tall man.

"What're you doin' down there?!" Kenpachi snarled. "Get back up, I've almost got it off."

Komamura paid no attention. He ran around to Kenpachi and gleefully shoved his nose between the other man's buttocks, yelping with happiness.

"What in the—" A string of colorful words left Kenpachi's mouth.


Hisagi, Kira, and Renji were walking down the hallway. Kira was telling them about how the fox captain had attacked him in the field.

"Look out, here he comes!" Renji said. Kira squeaked and jumped behind Hisagi.

But Komamura paid no attention to the trio. Instead, he appeared to be running away from something. He flashed by them so fast that Renji's hair came out of its ponytail. A few seconds after he had passed, a dark figure passed by just as fast. They could have sworn they heard the tinkling of bells.

"Was that…" Kira ventured.

"…Komamura-taichou…" Hisagi said.

"…and Zaraki-taichou?" Renji finished.

Meanwhile, Komamura was flash stepping away from Kenpachi as fast as he could. The poor man was in a murderous rage.

As Komamura rounded the corner, he was glad that least one good thing come of the incident with Kenpachi. The man had helped him pull off the cat hat when he tried to get the fox captain in a headlock.

I'm just glad I don't have to see that cat hat again, Komamura sighed.


The cat hat lay on the ground. Its eyes remained closed. The wind blew softly and ruffled the matted fur.

Suddenly, a female figure shunpoed over to the cat hat. She stood there, looking at it for some time. And then…


Haha, I can't help making Kira a victim of the crazy cat hat people. And I apologize greatly to Chibified Youkai 101 for not making this a chapter about Hisagi. But don't worry! He's one of my favorite characters, so he shall get his turn! Komamura might have been OOC…I'm sorry about that.

I noticed that I was doing all the cat hat victims as guys, so I'll let my lovely reviewers choose who the female victim is.

Please review!