CHAPTER FOUR: Impatient
Author's Little Note: So... Now what happens? Let's take a look back.
"Trillian baby, are you still reading that manual?"
"Yes," she replied, "you asked me that question three minutes ago."
"Do you know how anxious I am?"
"Do you know how hard I'm working?"
Trillian worked thoroughly over by the main control area and Zaphod was in a smaller left-side room. The door was wide open and she could see him. She occasionally peered over at him but otherwise she sat there and read. Left, right, left, right, her eyes swayed back and forth skimming the sentences. Left, right, left, right, she flipped on through the pages. She was somewhere in the middle of the manual. The thickness was nearly the size of a yellow-paged phonebook.
Zaphod was wild with excitement. He was in one of those fulfilled moods. Where his emotions were a grand piano and Beethoven himself was performing one of his most complicated twenty minute symphonies. Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata would be a fine example, one of his rhythmic songs that were thorough and full of pizzazz.
Both of his minds were focusing on the virtual reality program. His next thought: Where to go? He had so many places to explore. A later thought occurred: Life was great, no doubt. He could die and come back to the real world. After that thought: What would it really be like to have three pan galactic gargle blasters? Forget it, maybe even four. Two for each of his heads.
The thoughts fizzed up in his heads much like a soda pop ready to explode once the cap was released. The sensation caused him to be impatient but the thrill was never ending.
He stood up from the uncomfortable bean bag chair. The seat was unpleasantly orange, this color glued his eyes in place. His focus was outnumbered. Then 'orangeness' suddenly lost his attention. This was sensational, he thought. He walked into the kitchen and the refrigerator door opened automatically. Leftover sushi, an entire chocolate cheese cake, chopped zucchini, Ford's new raspberry flavored beef liver, and a bunch of condiments were inside. Unfortunately, there was nothing tasty enough for him to eat. As hungry as he was, it was ironic that not even on the Heart of Gold spaceship, he couldn't find what he wanted. All of the choices didn't seem to suit him.
Raspberry flavored beef liver. Has Ford gone mad? Thinking of which, perhaps he could speak to Ford or Arthur while he had the opportunity. He didn't know where they were but they had to be located somewhere onboard. No, that wasn't completely true. For all he knew they could be on some freak planet. Besides, he hadn't seen them since they landed on Tikiwood to buy that program. The thought of the program tickled his mind once again. He simply couldn't wait much longer.
"Any way I could make myself useful?"
Trillian glared at him in disbelief.
"No, really." Zaphod continued grinning through his teeth, he actually wanted to grab the disc and get the fun started. Trillian paid mindless attention to him.
His plan was only budging. Quickly, very quickly, Zaphod leaped up from his position and jumped towards Trillian. He froze standing on one foot and switched to the other and then carelessly snatched up the disc with his third arm. That's when he began to run, very fast, because this would be his only chance.
Quick as a flash and of two minds Zaphod's heads shrieked with delight and his legs slid him into a room a few doors down. The door opened and it shut behind him with its usual remark, "Thank you for making a simple door very happy." He suddenly blacked out. He hated this because it was dreadfully dark. His worst fears were in the dark but soon discovered he could still hear Trillian's harsh words screaming behind him. That's just not right. If he was unconscious surely it would at least be quiet.
"Open up! You're going to hurt yourself!"
Zaphod figured out something, "Oh." he turned on a light switch and was glad to see again. The energy inside him sparked again once he saw a computer panel. He raced towards it leaving the door locked. He put in the program and set up everything exactly the way he watched the installation happen earlier. Except for those few little parts everybody forgets.
"Zaphod?!" Trillian shouted. She was running after him a moment ago. Her anger was still fiery, she knew and he knew that she was close to finishing the program installation. How impatient Zaphod must have been to snatch the program out of her hands. As soon as Zaphod shut the door behind her, she stood there trying to break it down. After a minute of no success, she touched the door again and somehow went through it like water. As she went through the door, it even felt like water but left no clues of wetness on her clothes. She shivered slightly, the water had been cold as ice.
Opening her eyelids from the bitter frost, she could see something shimmering. The light was a flaming torch on the aged brick wall. Her eyes curiously looked up towards the sky but it was blocked by a low brick ceiling, much like a prison cell. The filthy old bricks surrounded her. They covered up where the door used to be. Across the room, there was another door made of wood.
"Zaphod?" no reply and she spoke again, "Hello? Is anybody here?"
But not even an echo talked back. She felt lonely in this encaged room. How did she get here in the first place? She glimpsed at the door and it swayed open. She watched a six-foot tall hairy spider creep in. All eight of its legs were hideous. The torch went out and Trillian could no longer see. She held her breath and listened to the light tapping of the spider crawl in.
"I must be in virtual reality." she whispered to calm herself down.
Zaphod was somewhere else. That somewhere else is the somewhere else he wanted to be. Dazzling lights were swirling around in the huge room. They displayed hundreds of colors he had never set eyes on before. They were beyond stunning. He was lying on a cozy sheep-skin couch. He was hungry, besides, all he had to eat were grass roots. And they were virtual, they didn't settle inside his belly at all. He was sitting there being fed vanilla frozen grapes. This had a delightful taste. Beats raspberry flavored beef liver any day.
The tall blonde haired woman next to him smiled. Her teeth were perfectly white and straight. She was very beautiful, Zaphod thought. How kind she must be to be feeding him sweets with her silky smooth hands. The fingernails were round and painted a marvelous shade of magenta. He loved it here. Unfortunately, he had completely forgotten where he was. His life was too good, he was inside a virtual reality program and he accidentally threw Trillian in the complete opposite direction of this one.
