I do not own RWBY

Unwinnable

Chapter 4: These Titles Will Mostly Be Meta Jokes


"...for years, you have trained to become warriors, and today your abilities will be evaluated in the Emerald Forest." Ozpin's voice, despite its softness, somehow managed to reach across the long row of students standing above the eponymous Emerald Forest, staring ahead into the overgrowth that stretched on into infinity like an ocean of leaves. The weather was surprisingly nice, which was something that Jaune was personally thankful for. His gaze leveled upon the far distance, trying to see if he could spot any Grimm from his angle. He was praying that he'd be lucky, and that he'd end up somehow avoiding all the Grimm that were wandering the forest. Of course, knowing his luck, he'd end up accidentally stumbling upon some Grimm nest or something.

For all of his previous experience, Jaune Arc knew one thing above all else. He sucked at combat. It honestly came as a surprise to him that he'd even been allowed into Beacon, what with his combat score having been among the lowest in all of Vacuo Preparatory School. However, Oswald had stated that despite having a low combat score, Jaune's other grades were actually surprisingly high, touting that Jaune was not the strongest, but could be counted as one of the smartest. His theoretical scores were actually through the roof; ranking B rank and above on everything from Grimm Knowledge, (months spent being forced to study with a number of nubile young women did drill something into his head) Military History, (His father was a general, so it made sense that he'd have some knowledge in that field) Tactics and Logistics, (He was always pretty good at games, and what was Tactics and Logistics than a real life application of the strategies he'd learned?) and last, but certainly not least, Basic Dust Applications (Okay, sure, that was his single B grade, but hey, it was still an above average score! How could he complain about that?)

Hell, when he was actually partnered up with someone, or even better, part of a fully functioning team, he wasn't that bad in combat. He certainly seemed to know the best times to take advantage of another person's openings, though he had Sun and Neptune to thank for that. The three of them had been thick as thieves. They were troublemakers, pranksters and amigos all. Sun was the Brawn, Jaune was the Brains, and Neptune...well, Neptune was Neptune. Jaune was thankful for them as friends; without them, he'd have been blundering around Beacon without a clue. Their escapades actually paved the way for Jaune's brilliance to grow, and while in a duel, he was just about useless, in anything else…

"...you will go into the forest and find the Ruins in the center. There, you will find relics we have had placed there for this Initiation." Ozpin's voice broke Jaune away from his thoughts, and he focused his attention back on the Headmaster's speech. Focus, Jaune! You can't miss anything! He might give some sort of advice or a clue or something! Ozpin took yet another sip of his seemingly never ending coffee mug and continued on. "The first person you make eye contact with will be your partner for the next four years."

Wait, what?!

"Do not hesitate to destroy anything in your path...or you will die." Ozpin's voice grew serious, and Jaune felt a shiver crawl up his spine. What was starting off as a wonderful day with new friends and the chance to get closer to the Pyrrha Nikos, was now starting to suck terribly. He'd be stuck with the first person he laid eyes on? What if he ran into someone he hated? What if he ran into someone who hated him? Destroy everything in his path?!

"Uh...sir?" Jaune weakly queried.

"Yes, Mr. Arc?" Ozpin replied calmly, gazing at him from over his spectacles.

Jaune nervously looked off to the side, unable to gaze upon the faces of his fellow students. "Er, this might be a stupid question, but how exactly are we getting down there? Like are we walking? Are we parachuting in?"

"Actually, Mr. Arc," Ozpin began, a ghost of a smile playing about his lips, "You are being launched into the Forest. You're currently standing upon pneumatic catapults."

The blond Hunter-in-Training slowly dropped his sapphire gaze to the ground below, onto the metal square he'd been told to stand on at the beginning of Ozpin's speech. His mouth began to open and close like a goldfish. "S-s-so that means..."

Jaune swore he could hear the smile in Ozpin's voice when he responded with, "You will have to find your own landing strategy."

FFF-THOOMPH! Jaune heard the sound of the students next to him being launched, seeing their forms flying through the air at an incredible velocity. Over and over, the sound reached his ears, growing louder and closer with each student. Some cheered, others remained silent. Jaune knew exactly what he'd be doing."Sir?" Jaune weakly replied, staring out into the Forest ahead.

"Yes?"

He took a deep breath and tensed his muscles. "I hate you."

FFF-THOOMPH!

"AIEEEEEEEE!"


[Emerald Forest – Airspace]


She never thought it would have happened. She'd all but given up on finding anyone, anyone who wasn't going to treat her special. All she wanted, all she'd ask for, is one person. Just one person, who wouldn't assume she was some Remnant-bound Goddess! So she came to Beacon Academy, hoping for a fresh start. Hoping to find a friend. A companion. Dare she even say it? A lover? She was seventeen for Oum's sake, and here she was, still single. Never a boyfriend, never even a date!

Instead, all she got was more of the same. She'd got to spend her first morning at Beacon listening to the Schnee heiress talk her ear off about the things she'd already heard before. All she went on about was how she was so skilled and so amazing and they should totally be partners and therefore help her stuck up attitude and her perfection streak. It was seriously starting to drive her mad.

Then…

He appeared. Pyrrha Nikos would never forget her first conversation with Jaune Arc. For once, someone who didn't know who she was! Someone who wasn't putting her on a pedestal! He even treated her like a normal person, like she was just another seventeen year old girl. It did help that he was cute as well; definitely up her alley. Some might have said she had strange tastes, but she liked tall, blond and noodley guys.

So she could be forgiven for having the tiniest of panic attacks when she heard Ozpin's speech about how the first person who she made eye contact with would have been her partner for the next for years! Her options, as far as she was concerned, was to either spend four years around the insufferably uptight Weiss Schnee, being tossed constantly into the spotlight...or, she could spend the next four years with tall, blond and noodley Jaune Arc, making friends with him, broadening her horizons and maybe even having her first romance…

She blushed and shook her head. There was time to think about that later. For now, she needed to focus on her mission. It would be easy, for sure. All she had to do was take out the Grimm, which wouldn't be an issue, then get a relic and get back. Simple and straight forward. With practiced grace and dexterity, the gorgeous Spartan landed upon the narrow branch of an oak tree, using her Semblance and her own armor to keep herself stabilized. All she had to do now was to keep an eye out for danger, (and Weiss) and get to the Ruins as quickly as she could-

"AIEEEEEE!"

Pyrrha's emerald gaze locked onto the screaming, flying student almost on instinct. Curiously, she tried to ascertain the identity of whatever student was screaming bloody murder. Jaune! She thought fast, flipping Milo into spear form, aiming it for Jaune. She took aim and...watched as Jaune righted himself in mid air and withdrew his blade, flipping the sheath and hitting a switch to turn it into a shield. He fell to the tree line, and threw his shield underneath him, landing atop the shield and actually managing to skip across the treeline like a surfboard.

"Woo-hoo!" Jaune shouted, balancing on his shield as he continued to skip across the branches.

Hesitating, Pyrrha watched Jaune through the scope of Milo. She didn't really need to help him, so there was nothing to worry about, at least in her opinion. Then again… If she did lend a hand...the chances of her and Jaune becoming partners would be increased. One would almost say guaranteed? A small smirk came to her lips and she took aim once more, tensing her muscles and using her Aura to increase her strength before letting the spear loose and true on a collision course with Jaune.


[Emerald Forest – Airspace]


Shield surfing! Thank you Sun! You've saved me again! Jaune couldn't help but grin at his quick thinking. Sun's habit of trying to find new ways to impress women, and roping him into it, had paid dividends he never thought of. Using his shielth as a surfboard, with the application of a little Aura, and he'd glide to a beautiful stop. With any luck, said stop would be very close, if not directly at the ruins. From there, it'd be a walk back to the cliff-side, and he'd be home free! Of course, there was the issue of finding a partner, but he'd try to make the best of whoever he ended up with.

Thud...thud...thud

Jaune's smile grew wider with each passing bounce. He was actually having fun! Maybe this whole, 'being catapulted into the middle of a Grimm infested forest thing' wasn't all bad! He kept himself balanced on his shield, steadying his figure as he tried to tilt his path to the side, directly toward the middle of the forest. At the rate he was going, he still had a good five or six skips! His sapphire gaze narrowed and he focused on the spot he assumed he'd eventually land, getting sword held at the ready in case any Grimm were lying in wait.

What's that whistling noise?

Something suddenly caught him by the hood of his hoodie and launched him forward, the object slamming him into a fairly large tree ahead and pinning him too it with a loud twaaannggggg! Unfortunately, the object had hit him from behind, and instead of being pinned to the tree facing forward, he was instead slammed face first into the rough bark of the tree.

"Ow." Jaune's voice was muffled. He groaned and reached up to feel his nose. "Yep. That's blood." Shaking his head, the young man tried to push himself away from the tree, only managing to get a foot of space between himself and the trunk of the massive tree. "Who the hell thought this was a good idea?"

"I'm sorry!" A somewhat familiar voice echoed over the treetops, confusing the blond Hunter-in-Training.

"Great." He looked up and found himself staring up at a bronze spear, the weapon having pierced straight through his hood and burying itself deep into the tree. "Just wonderful. Who did this?! Why?" He slumped, hanging freely in the air, arms dangling helplessly at his sides. "Just my luck. I do good on the landing, and someone decides to pin me to a tree. I'm stuck here until someone gets me down, aren't I?" He tilted his head, staring at the tree trunk, silence falling over him. He remained silent as the seconds ticked past, then minutes.

"Boooooored." Jaune muttered. "I need something to pass the time...wait a minute!" The blond snapped his fingers and grinned. "I can look at that user manual!"

No sooner had the words passed his lips than a holographic window appeared before his very eyes, colored green with the text: User Manual at the very top.


User Manual

Table of Contents

1.) Introduction

2.) Interest Meter

3.) Stat Window

4.) Minigames

5.) Locked Routes/Options

6.) Hints and Tips


Smack! Jaune's palm met his forehead and he sighed. "This seriously would have been helpful a long time ago. Oh well, better late than never, I suppose. Let's see here...might as well start at the beginning." Jaune's hand reached out and pressed against the holographic window, pressing directly on the Introduction option.


Introduction

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of the Harem King Semblance! What is the Harem King Semblance, you ask? Why, only the greatest Semblance on all of Remnant! With the help of this Semblance, (and this guide) you can become the strongest, most charismatic and well loved hero in all of Remnant! Also, you know, it'd help with propagating the Arc family, hint hint.


Jaune blinked. "That's...a bit on the nose. Who ever heard of a Semblance who insists on trying to get its user laid?" He pinched the bridge of his nose, sighed and read on.


How can propagating the Arc Family help you become a stronger hero? Well, finding out is half the fun! The more women you add to your harem, the stronger you become! Continue reading to find out how to best utilize and understand this Semblance.


"Half the what now? Are you serious? God, it's not bad enough my Semblance has decided to screw with my every day life, but now it has to have some sick sense of humor about it?" He shook his head, and reached his hand out again to press the button for the next page.


Interest Meter

So, you want to know how close you are to a girl, do you? Well, with the help of his handy, dandy Semblance, you can gauge just how close you are to a young maiden's heart! When you are given the message that a particular target's interest in you has increased, you can check up on just how far you've come with her by checking her Interest Meter! As you increase her interest in you, so too will the meter grow.

How does one increase the interest of a beautiful potential target, you ask?


"No. I'm not asking that. In fact, I'd like to know how to decrease their interest, if at all possible."


First, there's of course the obvious answer of choosing correct answers when you're given the prompts. Certain answers can increase interest from a slight amount, all the way to a dramatic increase in interest! This isn't the only way one can increase the interest of a lovely young woman, however. Impressing your targets through winning minigames can help increase interest by a sizable amount! Furthermore, you can actual increase interest on your own! Being simply charming in your everyday occurrences can be the biggest source of interest! Saying the right that at the right time can turn a potential target into a love interest!

What other information can you grasp from a potential love interest? Read on to find out:


"Interesting. I'm guessing I can view the Interest Meter by-" Jaune stopped speaking abruptly when he noticed a pink window open up, with a list of names and various meters comprised of different boxes. "Ruby Rose...Yang Xiao Long...Weiss Schnee...Blake Belladona...Pyrrha Nikos...Yep. All the girls I've interacted with here so far. Weiss and Blake aren't even a single box filled...Ruby and Yang have one box filled and it appears that Pyrrha...Pyrrha's got two boxes filed! Well, I did get that message that said she had a slight crush on me. Me! Of all people!" Jaune felt a little giddy at the thought. "Alright, I'm...learning a bit more. Let's keep reading-"

"Jaune?" A voice called out to him, interrupting his musings. As if reading his mind, the holographic windows closed on him.

The blond tried to turn around, but his hoodie hampered his movement, so all he could do was flail around randomly. "Er, yes, that's me. Unless there's some other highly attractive, hoodie wearing blond man in the forest. Maybe my cousin Juan?" Jaune joked, hoping whoever it was would appreciate his strange sense of humor.

[Pyrrha's interest has increased!]

Pyrrha? Jaune cocked an eyebrow. "Wait, is this your spear?"

"U-um...I um..." Jaune tried to turn around as Pyrrha nervously laughed. "I thought you...might have had trouble with your landing strategy?" Oh, great going! Pyrrha chastised herself. Like he'd believe that!

"Oh! Nah, I was cool once I was finished with the stupid catapult. Just wasn't expecting it, was all." Jaune twisted once again. "Er...don't suppose you could get me down though?"

"R-right!" Pyrrha answered with a relieved laugh.

Jaune waited for her to climb up the tree or something...only for the spear to somehow pull itself out. He blinked, and found himself falling down the tree. "GAH!" He gave a cry of surprise, not expecting the sudden fall. Instead of hitting the ground and breaking his butt like he expected, he was surprised to feel himself being caught by a pair of arms. His eyes opened up and he found himself staring into the emerald eyes of one Pyrrha Nikos, smiling at him softly. "Erm...hi?"

Pyrrha gave a melodic laugh. "Hello again. I believe, if my memory serves me correctly, that we're now partners?"

Jaune began to speak, but a small beep emitted from from his Scroll and he pulled it out of his pocket. Jaune Arc/Pyrrha Nikos. Partner confirmed. "It appears as though you're right." Jaune grinned sheepishly at her, and added, "So...um..any chance you could put me down?"

Pyrrha's cheeks went pink and she quickly let go of him, letting him drop to his feet. "S-sorry."

"Hey, don't worry about it. So, partner," Jaune replied back, smiling warmly at Pyrrha, "Where to now?"

[Pyrrha Nikos' interest has increased!]

"I'll leave that to you, Jaune. As much as a surprise as it may seem, I'm not one for taking the leader role. I hope you don't mind?"

Jaune shook his head. "Nope. Kinda used to it myself, if only because if I left it up to my old friends, we'd have spent our entire time at school in detention." He chuckled to himself, shaking his head.

"Oh? It sounds like you had quite the time at your old school. Got any interesting stories you'd like to share?" Pyrrha queried, following behind Jaune as the young man began walking in the direction he assumed the ruins would be.

He stopped in mid stride, Pyrrha almost walking right into him, and he gave a nervous laugh as his mind conjured up images of a horde of schoolgirls, screaming their affection for him. Oh hell no! I am NOT Telling her about that! "Um...perhaps later? I think we should focus on the mission ahead...eheheh..."

[Pyrrha Nikos' interest has increased!]

Wait, seriously? How...how easy is it to increase her interest? I'm not even trying!

Pyrrha's eyes gleamed. "Jaune? You're absolutely correct. I think you and I are going to make quite the partnership..."


Author's Note: Yeah, I know, I said I'd be working on Ninja in Love, but I couldn't help but keep writing for Unwinnable, especially with how popular it's been getting lately. Seriously, this is turning out to be another Immortal! Not that I'm complaining, you guys are awesome! I probably should have a schedule, but that would be intelligent and responsible, and that's just silly! I'll try working on some of the other fics soon, but for now, hope this tides you over!

This is LaughingLefou signing off for now!

And as usual, remember to leave a review!