Chapter Four: It's Preeminent
"Liver failure huh?"
"It preeminent sir - it's not a question of if anymore - it's when. It will happen if you keep drinking and consuming the amount of drugs you have been."
Satine glanced a moment at Anakin, who was staring daggers at Obi-Wan. She couldn't say she was surprised that this would happen to her riddur - but...well, she anticipated it would happen maybe, say, twenty years down the line, once he was out of the Order and she had given the throne to Korkie and maybe life was a little more stable and less shitty.
Of course, we'd be nearing our sixties...and Obi-Wan probably - I wonder if he will convince me by then too -
Obi-Wan was sighing, scratching at his chin and looking far older than he actually was. "Fine. Say you're right Helix - "
"I am - "
"I stop drinking - that doesn't mean I won't have liver failure down the line."
"True," Helix crossed his arms, "but the liver begins to regenerate pretty quickly - two weeks, if surgery is involved. A few months if you're doing it naturally. Your chances of living to forty increase pretty dramatically."
"Forty?" Obi-Wan whispered, widening his eyes.
Satine - sitting beside his bed - put her head in her hands, heel pressing into her brow. Tears threatened to fall. Damn it. Damn it damn it damn it.
Footsteps echoed on the floor, becoming fainter with each step. By the time Satine had stood and walked to the window, shawl pulled around herself - Helix was gone.
Three years...three years.
Would the war be over in three years?
Three years…
Obi-Wan cleared his throat. "Doctors can be wrong - "
Through the glass, she watched Anakin glare. She wondered if in another reality, that glare combusted Anakin on the spot.
"Doctors can be wrong," Anakin started slowly. "You forget I have spent half my marriage in a hospital room, listening to doctors that keep my wife alive."
"Anakin - " Obi-Wan sighed when Anakin stalked out of the room, his cloak snapping behind him.
"You're not going to say anything?"
Satine scoffed. "What do you want me to say? We'll just wind up arguing and I've been told not to raise your heart rate."
"How kind of you." He tapped his fingers against the bed, then closed his eyes. "How's Ahsoka doing? Rex?"
"The Clone Captain? No idea." Satine gave a small laugh - it sounded a little hysterical. "Ahsoka is essentially traumatized - Anakin too. Don't think either of them have slept."
"...for the mission - "
Satine shook her head, rubbing at her arms. Through the glass she watched him crack his eyes open. "You surely are Qui-Gon's apprentice. You know damn well you could have pulled both of them out of the mission. Now your padawans are - sometimes, I really wonder why the hell I am with you."
"Tina...it wasn't my choice - "
"You could have fought the Council Obi-Wan Kenobi." Satine turned, listening to her voice tremble. "But that would have shown attachment wouldn't it? And goddesses forbid you show attachment when it isn't in the Republic's favor."
"My dear - "
"Don't act like the Council doesn't turn a blind eye to us because they want to witness you happy - you know damn well it's because having my legs open is so much fucking easier than - "
"Satine!" Obi-Wan rarely shouted, but he did - and then proceeded to grimace and whisper hoarsely: "Satine...please."
Satine fell against the wall, wrapping her shawl tight against her. "They're calling me 'the Negotiator's Whore' - did you know that? Clever. The 'Master Slut' is a popular one too - even Padmé has fewer nicknames...everyone is too busy prying into her private life, and - and she has so much more at stake than we do."
But if her intuition was right...and she actually told him what she thought was happening, actually acknowledged why she was feeling sick at all hours and wanting nothing more than to be close to him at all -
"Aayla Secura said the same thing - but what could I have done Tina? I've been arguing them here and there...they're getting annoyed...I could lose my seat -"
"Would that be so bad?"
Obi-Wan hesitated. "Would it be so bad if I didn't have my Council - I command a tenth of the Army - half the Space fleet - I'm a diplomat - "
"A diplomat...you're not a General Obi-Wan. You like action but not this senseless slaughter...unless I'm wrong?"
"...Satine…"
"Just...this," she looked out the window. Her reflection looked like a ghost. "This war is killing you - that's all I mean my dear. That's all I mean."
Obi-Wan sighed again, and closed his eyes. A few moments later, he was snoring softly.
Good, Satine thought while she slid down the wall and began to sob.
Anakin was still fuming when he made it to the Republic dormitories, though he did slow his furious stalk to a more leisurely pace. He tried to calm himself, tried to think of anything but the fact that Obi-Wan was effectively killing himself.
Why? Why does bad, horrible, awful things happen to everyone I care about?
First Mom, then Padmé, then Cliegg, now Obi-Wan - is Ahsoka next? Wait, the brain worms -
He ran a hand through his hair, sighing heavily - and realized he was at Padmé's door. There was no one one these levels that could out them at least…
Carefully, he punched in the codes Padmé had given him and entered.
Padmé glanced upwards when he stepped in, giving a tired but radiant smile. She was curled on the bed, a datapad resting on her thighs. A mug of tea sat steaming on the nightstand, nearly touching the pillows that were behind her back. Tucking a bit of hair behind her ear, she studied him a moment. "How's Obi-Wan?"
Anakin snorted, sitting on the bed carefully. "How are you feeling?"
"No worse than usual," Padmé muttered wryly - though the attempt at humor was lost. Putting the datapad aside, she shifted until she was sitting beside and leaned into the wall. Her back protested, though she ignored it - something always hurt, what was a little more discomfort. "Satine's pretty stressed about Obi-Wan - I don't think she's used to being in hospitals."
"That makes one of us." There was a part of Anakin that wanted to lean into his wife, to feel her fingers comb through his hair, listening to her speak about the government that he didn't understand. But - everything reminded of Queen Miraj.
Padmé did her best not to sigh, and tapped her fingers against her knees. She was incredibly exhausted, more than usual - the atmosperhic pressure of the Medical Station had been giving her a near constant migraine. "I leave tomorrow morning for the peace negotions - Ahsoka's rather excited."
"Yeah...she mentioned that - I'll be shocked if the Seperatists actually agreed to the terms."
This argument again. Lovely. "You have to have more faith in people - not all Seperatists are -"
"Easy to say when you're not getting by their droids - you haven't seen the -"
"I don't want to argue about this." Padmé watched him roll his eyes, and glanced away for a moment. Rubbing at her arms, she murmured, "I only have two more years left of my term...I was just gonna say it'd be nice that when the negotiations are signed - and reconstruction has been underway and my term finishes - what if - what if we left Coruscant? Lived on Naboo?"
"...what about the Order?"
Padmé swallowed, not looking at him. "...that's your choice hon - not mine. I'm not gonna make you choose between the Order and me."
Anakin gave a gusty sigh and nodded, his shoulders loosening a bit. "Thank you."
"Maybe...we wouldn't be a secret anymore."
The unspoken hung heavy in the air.
We could actually be on health insurance without having our marriage threatened.
We wouldn't be in so much debt.
"Yeah...that'd be nice."
"Have a few kids - I've always wanted a big family."
Anakin pressed his lips together, tensing again. They'd had this discussion a thousand times. All of her diseases were genetic - his were mostly environmentally caused - but...the threat of -
"Ani," Padmé put a hand on his shoulder - and widened her eyes when he flinched and looked away. What might have been a sob caught in his throat. Her hand fell into her lap, though she didn't move to pull him closer. "Oh Ani."
"I - it was saving Obi-Wan and everyone or - I saw how everyone leered at Ahsoka! They're perverts, everyone one of them!"
"It's not your fault Ana - "
Anakin gave a rough laugh - a little maniacal, a little hysterical - tilting his head at the ceiling, tears coming down his face. His hands twisted while he sat on the bed. "It is my fault - I could have stopped it, I could have stopped them from getting hurt, I could have not -"
He gave a ragged breath, head now bent, bracing elbows on his knees, staring at his wedding band. What little food he had eaten was churning in his stomach.
"I - I didn't want to do it. Queen Miraj - she - she -"
Padmé swallowed hard, doing her damndest not to cry herself. She didn't want to say it, didn't want to even think it but - but -
"It was rape?"
A choked sound escaped Anakin's throat. He stood, beginning to pace in the small room. If he closed his eyes, maybe he could pretend they were home, in their bedroom. Maybe he could even pretend that if he opened his eyes, he wouldn't see the suitcase that held limb braces, the carry-on that contained too much medication, the crutches shoved in a corner, the wheelchair that couldn't really be used in a place like this.
He barely registed Padmé touching his biolgic wrist - well he did, because he fumbled for her fingers, feeling her delicate hand squeeze.
"I'm sorry."
"It...Anakin. Don't worry about me." Padmé tried to wipe her own tears away when he sat down beside her, shaking like a leaf while he cried. She leaned her head against his shoulder, thanking her gods when he didn't tense up.
"... we're due to leave for Coruscant in a week - I'm sending my main fleet ahead. Ahsoka and I will follow a day later in my ship. Master Plo should follow us a few days later."
Mace rested his hands on his knees. "And Obi-Wan?"
The hologram of Anakin smirked a little. "He's healing slowly - Duchess Kryze has been assuring his well-being."
Mace did his best not to snort, and gave a brisk nod. "Very well - thanks for the update."
"Of course." Anakin nodded his head, then looked somewhere off the projector capabilities.
The hologram fizzled out.
"Why are you brooding?"
Mace sighed rather harshly, glancing at his former padawan. She was sitting on one of his meditation cushions, sipping a travel mug of caf. Technically she wasn't supposed to have caffeine at the moment - it'd only been a week since she'd been out of the bacta tank, but…
Depa did what she wanted, including ruffling his feathers.
"I'm not brooding, my young Padawan."
She smirked, setting the mug in between her legs. "Anakin's a good kid - he'll be fine taking control of the Third Systems Army."
"He's reck - "
"Obi-Wan is reckless. Anakin has lower death numbers than him."
Well, that was true. Always had been. Anakin may have devised some out-right dangerous plans at times, but he knew the in-and-outs of command and regulation far better than most Jedi. It was just…
"He's close to the Chancellor," Mace muttered, tucking his legs to his chest and staring at a spot past his old padawan's head. He barely noticed her waving at the blinds, causing them to rise and let the weak Coruscant sunlight into his small meditation chambers. The rest of the apartment was behind a door to his left, where few entered besides the occasional dinner with a friend or a former padawan.
"Adi and Stass are too - they're diplomats, acting between the Jedi and the Senate. They - "
Mace scoffed, scratching at his cheek. It felt rough and a tad leathery - he was getting old. "You know what I mean."
Depa sighed, wincing a little when she shifted and put her feet on the floor. She still wasn't fully recovered...and she needed to be in the field soon. "I do - but you should have faith in him. He's a good kid... putting him with Obi-Wan was…"
A snort came from him before he could stop himself. Obi-Wan was many things, but he was not a man who understood his own limits - physically and emotionally. He wondered, as he always had, what it would take to make Obi-Wan take some damn antidepressants.
Then there was Duchess Kryze.
Mace did like Duchess Kryze. Always had. Thought she was a good woman, with a good head on her shoulders. Oh, she was a little hot-headed, and needed to work more with all her people - but he could see what she was planning, to establish relations with one aspect of the Mandalorians before extending her voice. She was making progress in the more traditional parts of the system - building non-profit schools, welfare programs, low-cost healthcare. Death Watch was still an issue, but the system as a whole didn't seem to mind her.
"...always the first to - Master, are you listening?"
He pulled his gaze to Depa, who had wandered to the windows. "Perhaps not as well as I should have."
Depa smiled, staring out at the busy traffic lanes of Coruscant. "I was saying that Obi-Wan has always been the first to preach the Code but ignore it at a whim."
"A rather harsh verdict."
"Perhaps." A smirk crossed her features. "Perhaps I'm enjoying reading two years worth of 'net gossip about him and Duchess Kryze."
"The Council has been enjoying themselves - Senator Amidala and Skywalker keep us rather - "
Depa waved her hand, laughing while she looked at him. "You should pay more attention to gossip, Master. The padawan halls are an excellent place to start."
Mace grimaced, rising from the cushion - only to grimace again, putting a hand on the small of his back. He was getting old. "I have not been in the padawan halls since you were my padawan - I will not, if I can help it."
"Mmm - dinner? I've been dying to leave this place."
He nodded, absently waving a hand at the door and following Depa out of his apartment. "What's this I hear about you taking on Caleb Dume?"
Anakin walked the halls of the Medical Station, towards the rooms they had been given. It had been only an hour since most of the fleet left - only one more week until he left this wretched place.
Spending days in hospitals wasn't new, he mused while rounding a corner. A young Twi'lek man, maybe sixteen, grinned at Anakin while they passed.
He did his best not to scowl, inclining his head a fraction of an inch. Seperatist. That boy was a Separatist, an heir to some dukedom. Why did this have to have Separatists onboard?
Why, rather, did everyone have to announce their political alliances when the halls were full of intensive care patients? Couldn't everyone shit their damn mouths, try not to gossip, try not to gawk at the Jedi walking around, stare in shock when Padmé emerged from her rooms - he wondered how many of them actually thought she was preparing for the peace treaty.
Well...she was. Convincing her to take a damn break and rest well -
Padmé couldn't keep this charade much longer. Her body was not a functioning body, not anymore - it was his fault she was like that -
Genetics. It was genetics fault.
But I gave the root, she's allergic to roots -
He slammed a hand on a lift button, staring at the floor.
He could have prevented it. All of it. Could have prevented the worst of Padmé's symptoms - could have gotten Rex and Obi-Wan out. He wasn't quick enough. The mines wouldn't have happened, he could have gotten out of that damn arena.
The lift opened. Anakin stepped in, putting in the medical floor Obi-Wan was on.
So close. They had been so close. Maybe if his body hadn't decided to have a seizure just before he'd been electrocuted, maybe if Queen Miraj hadn't -
The lift jolted, heading upwards.
Anakin wasn't aware he had punched a wall until the pain receptors in his bionic arm tingled and shot pain through his arm. He gritted his teeth, trying not to buckle from the pain.
The lift opened.
"Master?"
Grimacing, Anakin straightened - and ignoring the dent in the metal - looked to his wide-eyed padawan. "Snips - what are you doing?"
Ahsoka, still thin and exhausted from the days on Zygerria, blinked at him. "I'm...heading down to the cafeteria."
They circled each other, switching positions. Anakin cradled his arm a moment, while Ahsoka punched in the floor she needed too.
The halls were somewhat light while he walked - right, it was the dawn cycle. What time of morning he had no idea.
He nearly missed Obi-Wan's room - his body did a whiplash, taking his mind and shutting down the tendrils of chaos seeping into the Force, locking them away.
To fester.
Anakin palmed the door opened, listening to the quiet hiss. He knew his master would be awake - Satine was here, after all.
"Hey old - "
Obi-Wan - still not strong enough to sit for long periods of time - was lying in bed, glanced over. He put a finger to his lips, then gestured to his side.
A small smile crossed Anakin's face, and he nodded.
Satine was tucked into Obi-Wan's side, breathing deeply while she slept. Funny, how she looked so much younger while she slept. She was always so stressed, with stress lines etched into her brow. A fleece was draped over her, a disgusting green - but it looked warm.
Anakin scanned the dim room while he sat in the plastic chair beside the bed. An armchair had been put in the room yesterday when Obi-Wan was transferred out of the ICU. He noticing the stack of datapads on the stand beside the armchair.
Trust the Council to work Obi-Wan to the bone.
"Hey," Obi-Wan murmured when Anakin looked at him. "She fell asleep a few minutes ago. I didn't have the heart to wake her - she hasn't been sleeping much."
"Yeah - neither has Padmé."
Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows, his tired gaze studying Anakin's features. The eye contact was broken by Satine shifting closer to him, and he readjusted the arm wrapped around her with only a mild grimace.
"Does that hurt - "
"Are you doing okay Anakin?"
Anakin hesitated, then shrugged. "Wanted to see how you were doing - and tell Satine the transport is leaving in four hours."
"Ah yes - the negotions dinner is tonight. Pity I can not attend - I heard Ahsoka is joining Senator Amidala?"
"Yeah."
Obi-Wan rubbed a hand over Satine's arm, quiet for a few moments. "Have you talked to her? What happened on - "
"Has she talked to you?"
"Anakin…"
Author's note: I feel like that was one of the hardest chapters I've written. Wow. Just wow. Trying to get all my thoughts in order, trying to get everybody's emotions togther - and writing Anakin?! Arghh! So difficult.
Anyways - I really should write Mace more often. It's fun getting inside his head - poor man dealt with so much shit from the Dooku linage xD
Enjoy, my dears
ii Digestive Reader ii
