Begin Again
Episode 4: When Rufus Kissed Lily
Rufus paced the floor to the loft apartment. He was supposed to pick Lisa up at the airport six in the evening that night. Apparently, she had missed him so much, she was coming back a day early. Her sister told her to go home, for she wasn't any fun, being so mopey over him anyway. Besides, ironically enough, her sister found a new guy there she was into, who happened to be a male stripper. Though, she had met him gambling—not at one of his shows. Debbie was thinking about staying a couple extra days to get to know him better.
Rufus didn't know how he was going to face Lisa after what he had done. It could have been worse. It could have been much worse. Still, what he did was bad enough, and he knew he had to tell Lisa about it. He couldn't marry her with it on his conscious. Then again, did he really have to tell her? After all, nothing was going to come from the kiss. Lily was happily married, and he knew that he and Lisa would soon be happily married as well. As the old saying went, what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. Telling her could hurt her. So, why tell her?
He continued to pace the floor as his conscience fought to be heard.
~BA~
I don't know why what happened last night happened, but it did. I guess Lily and I had just gotten caught up in the moment. We have all those years of history together that we'll never lose. They're always going to mean something to us. We were both alone, and we were both lonely... We were ringing in the new year together... I guess it was inevitable, really. Not that it meant anything, because it didn't! Anyway, I'm glad it got interrupted when it did.
We were still kissing when my phone began to ring.
I quickly pulled apart from Lily to answer my phone. It was Lisa who was calling.
I quickly jumped off the couch as if Lisa could see through the phone how close Lily and I were sitting. "Lisa! Happy New Year, my Love!" I walked into the foyer, away from the loud TV, and more importantly, away from Lily.
"Happy New Year, Sweetie! I'm sorry you have to spend it all alone," Lisa said.
"Actually, as it turned out, William had to be in the Hamptons to take care of an elderly patient of his who only wanted him to take care of her. She is really sick, and he had to make a house call. He couldn't wait any longer to see her, for her son didn't know if she'd last past the New Year. Anyway, that left Lily all alone, so she called to see if you and I wanted to spend New Year's Eve with her. I told her about your trip to Vegas with your sister, and she invited me over anyway so that neither of us had to ring in the new year alone." I was feeling so guilty, I said it so fast, and almost in one breath. I'm surprised Lisa even understood me.
"Aw, that was nice of her! I'm glad you two didn't have to ring in the new year alone," Lisa said sweetly.
This only made me feel even more guilty. Lisa was so goodhearted and trusting. Sometimes too much, like then. I couldn't bear to tell her that I kissed Lily. At least not then.
We talked a little bit more, and then said our goodbyes, and exchanged I love yous. It was the last we would talk to each other that day until it was a decent hour for both of us.
I sighed as I hung up the phone.
Lily then came over and handed me my shirt. "Fresh from the drier!" she said with a weak smile.
"Thanks." I quickly put my shirt back on, buttoning it back up as quickly as I could. I know it sounds silly, but I had suddenly felt naked in front of her without my shirt.
"So, is Lisa having a good time?" Lily asked.
I nodded. "Yeah, she is. She's really enjoying her time with her sister. I know she doesn't get to spend as much time with her as she would like, so it's good for her. Good for them both."
"That's good. The show's ending now. I wonder if we'll see Serena and the others!" Lily quickly headed back into the living room as if the New Year's Eve show was suddenly the most fascinating thing she'd ever seen before.
I followed her in, only because I'd feel kind of stupid hanging out in the foyer by myself. Also, I knew we needed to talk about the kiss.
"I guess we're not going to see them," Lily said with a pout.
"I think the cameramen are more intrigued by the crowd outside, and the entertainers," I said, only half watching.
"I guess so," Lily said, turning the TV off, for Ryan Seacrest had just signed off.
"Look, Lil," I said just as Lily said, "Rufus, I—"
We both laughed.
"You got first," she said.
"I'm sorry about the kiss. I know you're a happily married woman, just as I'm happily with Lisa, and will soon be happily married to her. I was just feeling lonely, and you were there, and it's New Year's Day now. I guess I was just caught up in the moment. Not to sound clichéd or anything. And I know it sounds terrible, but I was imagining I was kissing Lisa." Okay, so the last part wasn't true, but I really needed to get my point across to her that the kiss had meant absolutely nothing.
Lily nodded. "I completely understand because those are all the same reasons that I kissed you! Well, because of William and not Lisa of course. And I was imagining kissing William when I was kissing you, so it doesn't sound terrible to me. It's only natural to want to kiss our partners. In fact, they are the only ones we should be kissing, so..." She trailed off.
I was a little insulted that she was thinking of William when kissing me. Mainly because William was a sleaze ball that I did not want to be compared to. But, as long as it was clear that the kiss was nothing more than a simple Happy New Years kiss between friends, we were good.
"It was simply just a Happy Near Year's kiss between two good friends who miss their other halves," I said.
Lily nodded. "Exactly! And that must be the reason we kissed each other so passionately. You were thinking of Lisa, and I was thinking of William."
"Yes!" I agreed, though I secretly wondered why I had kissed Lily so passionately. I guess, for just a moment, I was taken back to old times. But that was it! It had been a moment, and now it was over, which was exactly what it should be—over.
"I'm glad we both agree on that," Lily said. She then quietly yawned and stretched. "Well, it's late, and I'm tired. Not to kick you out, but..." Again, she trailed off.
I shook my head. "You don't have to tell me twice!" I yawned and stretched as well. "I'm exhausted." I was going to kiss her cheek out of habit, then pulled back at the last second. We had already kissed more than we should have. I didn't want to make it awkward by kissing her again, even if it was only on the cheek.
She blushed as she realized I had changed my mind about kissing her cheek. However, she quickly brushed it off by walking to the elevator, and pressing the button for me.
The doors opened, and I walked into the elevator.
"Goodnight, Rufus," she said. "And, again. Happy New Year!"
"Goodnight, Lily. Happy New Year," I said right before the doors closed, shutting us both out of each other's vision.
I sighed, and rested my back against the back wall of the elevator. Now I really needed a drink. The only problem was, I had left the Champaign at Lily's. And there was no way in hell I was going back to get it.
~BA~
Rufus had tossed and turned all night, and now he was tired. He was so tired actually, that he wished that Lisa wasn't coming back today. He really could use a long nap. Not to mention an extra day to work up the courage to tell her the truth. He guessed deep down he had to tell her. He had been though lies with Lily in their marriage, and he didn't want his and Lisa's relationship to be full of lies before they even got married. He had to tell her. Now, the only thing he didn't know was how on earth he was going to tell her.
He glanced at the clock. It was a quarter to one, meaning he had about five hours to figure it out!
~Begin Again~
"I missed you so much, my Darling!" Lily said, hugging her husband tightly. He had just arrived home. "Happy New Year!"
William held her tightly, and kissed her deeply. "Mm, I missed you too, my Love. Happy New Year! How was your New Year's Eve? Sorry I didn't call you at midnight. To tell you the truth, I didn't even stay up to see the ball drop. I was exhausted from helping my patient all day long."
"Oh, I understand. Don't even worry about it. How is your she? Please tell me she is all right." Lily bit her bottom lip. She had no idea who the patient was. Come to think of it, she hadn't even asked the poor lady's name.
William smiled. "Ethel is going to be fine. It turns out she just has a major case of pneumonia. I took care of her over the weekend, but convinced her that she really needs to be in a hospital. She finally agreed. She is not well enough to travel even a couple hours, so she is at a hospital right there in The Hamptons. I promised I'd come check on her a lot. I also made sure she got a doctor friend of mine from that hospital. She felt better knowing he was a good friend of mine."
"Well, good! I'm so glad to hear she is all right," Lily said. She bit her bottom lip. She felt even worse having kissed Rufus now. While William had been helping save a sick patient, she was making out with her ex-husband. Well, maybe not making out per se, but even so, the kiss wasn't exactly an innocent New Year's Eve kiss. True, it hadn't really meant anything. Like she had told Rufus, she was just lonely, and it was New Year's Eve. Even so, whether it meant something or not, she knew the right thing to do was tell William. Which was kind of ironic since she never really worried about doing the right thing. However, so many of her marriages had failed because of lies, wether it be her lies or her ex-husbands' lies. Also, this was hers and William's second chance at being happily married. She didn't want to be the one to wreck it by holding in a secret. After all, secrets had a way of coming out. She had learned that the hard way.
~BA~
I don't know what had gotten into me. I mean, kissing my ex husband while my current husband was away helping a poor, sick, elderly old patient of his? It was despicable. Absolutely despicable! I was just so lonely, and it's tradition to kiss someone at the stroke of midnight. Rufus was there. He was shirtless, and looking so incredibly sexy. I know. What is wrong with me? I guess the old feelings came back a little. Not enough to make me want to go back to him. He's in love with Lisa anyway—so much that he's going to marry her. And I'm very much in love with William. Obviously. I'm happily married to him.
It's just that, a part of me will always love Rufus. After all, he and I were a big part of each other's lives for over twenty years, like I've said so many times before. I'll never stop loving him.
You know the thing that hurt the most? It hurt when he said he had imagined kissing Lisa when kissing me. It made me feel used. I know I told him that I had imagined kissing William. But, honestly, what was I supposed to say? I wasn't about to humiliate myself by confessing to him that he was the only man on my mind when I was kissing him—not William, my husband. Especially not after he told me he was thinking of Lisa, his fiancé when kissing me.
You know what? I think the kiss was a good thing. It made me realize how really over Rufus and I truly are. Of course, I already knew that Rufus and I were over. After all, he and I have long since been over since before William and I even started dating again. But this kiss confirmed a hundred percent that Rufus and I are over. I mean, we kissed, and he went straight back to Lisa. As for me, well, I have no desire to go back to Rufus. I love William. He is my husband, and there is no other man that has been more right for me than he is, or whom I loved more than him. Yes, William is the only man for me, and that's the way it's always going to be.
~BA~
"So, you never answered my question. How was your New Year? I hope it wasn't too lonely without me." William's arms were still around Lily's waist.
Lily looked down at his arms, and gently pulled away. His arms around her made her feel even more guilty than she already did. "William, there's something I have to tell you."
William looked at her funny. "All right. Your tone doesn't sound too promising. Should I sit down for this?"
Lily nodded. "You might want to."
"All right." William moved to sit down on the couch.
Lily sat down in the recliner beside the couch. "I wasn't alone last night."
William raised an eyebrow at her. "Oh? From the sounds of it, you don't mean you were with one of your children."
Lily shook her head. "I'm afraid not. All the kids were busy. I didn't want to be alone, and I was so desperate to have someone to spend the evening with. I even invited Nate to come over!"
William grinned. "That is pretty desperate!"
Lily smiled too, knowing full well the smile would soon be wiped clean off William's face. "He was in Milan doing a piece for The Spectator, and Eleanor and Cyrus were in Paris. So, I invited Rufus and Lisa to come over. I then found out that Lisa was in Vegas with her sister for The New Year, and that Rufus was spending the evening alone too."
"So, you invited Rufus over, figuring there was no use in both of you being alone when you could be together," William stated.
Lily nodded. "Exactly!"
William shrugged. "Well, that's not so bad. You and Rufus are still close friends. It would only make sense for you to spend the evening together when you would both otherwise be alone. I completely understand. No worries!"
Lily sighed. "If only that was it."
William raised an eyebrow her at again. "You mean there's more?"
Lily nodded. "I'm afraid so. We kissed at the stroke of midnight. And it wasn't just a simple peck on the lips. We kissed more passionately than we should have for a simple New Year's kiss."
William shifted in his seat, and his expression hardened a bit. "Excuse me? What do you mean, 'more passionately than you should have?'"
Lily looked away. "Well, we were both feeling lonely and missing our significant other's... I honestly don't even know how the kiss happened. It just did. I was missing you, and he was missing Lisa, and we just ended up kissing.
"Lily, please tell me it didn't lead to more," William said calmly, though his calmness sounded strained.
Lily shook her head. "No! Of course not! Lisa called him during our kiss, and that was the end of it."
"So, you would have kept kissing him, and it could have led to more had Lisa not called," William stated.
Lily looked at him. "No! Of course not!"
"Then why did it take her call to break you apart?" William asked, sounding angry now.
Lily shrugged. "I honestly don't know. But it didn't mean anything. I promise you, William!"
"Lily, you kissed your ex husband! You two had been in love with each other for twenty plus years. You can't tell me that it meant nothing to you!" William said, standing up now, and facing her.
Lily stood up as well. "I'm telling you, William. It meant absolutely nothing! I assure you that. You are the only man that I love. I just missed you!"
"So, every time I have to go away for a bit, you can just call Rufus to help you not be so lonely. Is that it?" William asked.
"No! William, stop twisting my words," Lily said, half annoyed, half in tears.
William headed to the elevator.
"Where are you going?" Lily asked, tears filling her eyes even more now.
"Out. I need some time alone to think," William muttered.
"William, we need to talk this out!" Lily said.
The doors opened, and William stepped onto the elevator. "Later. Right now, I can't be here. Heck, I can't even look at you!"
"William! Please don't say things like that. Please stay. I said I'm sorry! It's never going to happen again!" Lily pleaded.
William's face remained expressionless as the doors closed between them.
Lily cried out, and pounded the closed elevator doors with her fists. "It meant nothing!" she screamed, even though she knew there was no way he could hear her now. "And I would have stopped the kiss if Lisa hadn't called. I would have!"
She cried out in frustration. "I would have," she repeated, this time with a little less energy.
With a sniffle, she turned around, and headed upstairs. All she wanted to do now was crawl into bed, bury herself underneath the covers, and have a good cry. She honestly didn't have the strength or energy for anything else right then.
~Begin Again~
William left the loft, and headed straight to his favorite singles bar. It was a bit of a drive—an hour away—but he preferred that. This way, he wasn't likely to be seen, and no nosy ass hole would go telling Lily anything. He stopped outside the door, and took off his wedding band, slipping it into his pocket.
He then walked into the bar; confidant. Now that he had broken up with Samantha, he needed someone else to fulfill his sexual needs in a way that Lily couldn't.
Anyway, after what Lily had just confessed to him, there was no way he'd be sleeping with her tonight. He still loved her of course. And of course this wasn't going to harm their marriage. He'd make her sweat for the night as punishment for what she had done, then, tomorrow, he would show up and play nice. But for now, he couldn't even look at Lily. He was far too annoyed.
~BA~
I am so livid that Lily kissed Rufus! I believe her when she says that nothing else happened between them, but it still burns me up. Sure I've been cheating on her, but never with an ex. Besides, I am a man. Men cheated. It's just in our DNA. But women, well, women are supposed to be faithful to their husbands.
Even so, I wouldn't have even minded as much had it been anyone else but Rufus Humphrey. But it was. There isn't a man on earth whom I detest more than Rufus Humphrey. I don 't care what Lily says. No matter how much she tries to deny it, she still has feelings for Rufus, and she probably always will. I know that. But Lily is mine now—not Rufus', and it's time both Lily and Rufus learn that.
At least I finally got rid of Samantha.
I had stayed until after lunch this morning, for we had slept in late, then made love. Making love always made me hungry, so I figured I might as well stay for lunch. We ordered room service, then made love again until the food arrived.
We ate in bed, and when we were finished, she asked me when we could see each other again. I told her that we could never see each other again. That I was feeling guilty, so I had confessed to Lily about my affair. After all, you always have to make them believe your wife already knows. Otherwise, they'll threaten to tell her.
Anyway, I told her that Lily said she'd forgive me, for we've both made mistakes in our marriage, but she had to be my only one if we were going to make our marriage work.
Samantha was ditzy enough to believe me. She hadn't taken it easy. Oh, no. She cried, and begged me to stay.
"I thought you didn't really love your wife!" she had cried.
I told her that being with Lily, and Lily knowing about my affair and still forgiving me had made me realize how much I really do still love her.
Samantha then asked why I just slept with her then if I planned on going back to my wife.
I told her, I had wanted to let her down easy.
Samantha smacked me hard across the face, and told me to get dressed, then get the hell out of her hotel room.
It was funny she called it her hotel room, seeing as I was the one who paid for it.
I told her I paid for it, and was not leaving until I had had a shower and changed.
Needless to say, by the time I got out of the shower, she was gone. It was fine with me.
Back to the Lily and Rufus situation. I will keep my mouth shut this time. But if Rufus ever tries a stunt like that again, there will be hell to pay.
~BA~
William walked into the bar, and sat down next to a pretty red head with perky breasts, sitting at the bar. He bet she was fun in bed. He smiled at her. The nice thing about a singles bar was everyone there was single. You never had to worry about someone's boyfriend punching your lights out for hitting on their girlfriend. That's why he had chosen this bar to begin with.
He smiled at her. "Well, aren't you beautiful? In fact, you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen here, and I come here a lot!"
She grinned at him. "Since you complimented me in a way that didn't involve a cheesy pick up line, I'll buy you a drink and let you talk some more to me."
"But I should be buying you the drink. Not the other way around," William said, pleasantly surprised.
She raised an eyebrow. "Says who? Don't tell me you're one of those guys who think that women can't afford to pay for someone else's drink, or even their own drink. And please don't tell me you're one of those guys who seem to think that women are helpless without them."
William held his hands up in defense. "No, not at all. If you really want to buy me a drink, then thank you. I will graciously oblige."
The girl smiled, and extended her hand out to him. "The names Cassidy. Cassidy Reynolds. And I wear the pants in all my relationships. If you think you can handle me, then lets have some drinks and get to know each other, aye?"
William grinned, nodded, and shook her hand. "William van der Woodsen."
Cassidy shook his hand nice and firmly. "Nice to meet ya, William van der Woodsen! Now, pick your poison!"
William grinned like the Cheshire cat. "A Gin and Tonic please. On the rocks."
Cassidy signaled he bartender to order their drinks.
William then propped his elbow on the bar, and rested his head on his left palm, his eyes lingering to Cassidy's extremely low-cut top. She certainly was well endowed.
He sighed with contentment. Life was good.
~Begin Again~
Rufus sighed. He still didn't know how he was going to break it to Lisa about his kiss with Lily. In fact, he was once again toying with the idea of not telling her, despite his earlier decision of not wanting to lie to her. Even so, the fact that he wasn't ready didn't matter. It was time to leave to pick up his fiancé from the airport. He was hoping the drive would help him to figure things out, but it didn't. When he arrived at the airport, he didn't know anymore what he should do than he had when he left. Should he tell Lisa about the kiss, or shouldn't he? He kept going back and forth on whether or not he should tell her.
He parked, then headed into the airport. He paced back and forth as he waited for her. And, by the time she showed up, smiling so brightly at him, he was as torn as ever when it came to what to do.
She shrieked, and ran to him. She jumped on him and kissed him passionately.
He held her close, and kissed her back just as passionately.
"Mm, I missed you so much!" she said after finally breaking the kiss.
"I missed you too," he said, his eyes lowering with love for her as he nuzzled his nose against hers. "Did you have a nice flight?"
"Yeah, I did," Lisa said.
He set her down. "So, you enjoyed your trip?"
Lisa nodded. "Yes!" Debbie's talking about us going back there for my bachelorette party."
"That would be fun. I guess I'd have to allow you the hot, young, male stripper then. But just for the night! And no more than one dance!" Rufus grinned even though he didn't feel very much like grinning.
Lisa giggled. "Na! We'd just do some drinking, and a little gambling. Maybe go to a show. I don't need strippers. Your body is the only body I want to see naked!"
An old lady who was walking by them, glanced over at Lisa, apparently having heard her.
Lisa covered her mouth in embarrassment. "Oops!" she said, looking up at Rufus, blushing.
Rufus laughed. "Let's get your bags, and get out of here. We'll go home, then I'll see about arranging that!"
Lisa laughed. "Sounds like a deal, Sexy!" She clicked her tongue and winked at him. "Rawr!"
Rufus laughed. "You're crazy!"
Lisa grinned. "Indeed I am!"
Rufus laughed again, and they walked to baggage claim with their arms around each other.
Rufus decided then that Lisa deserved to know the truth. After all, the kiss had meant nothing. If he told her, it would show he had nothing to hide, and that it had meant nothing. It would seem like a lot more if Lisa somehow ended up finding out about it and he hadn't told her. He'd tell her as soon as they got in the car before he lost his nerve.
"Hey, as much as I'm eager to get home with you and see that sexy naked body of yours, do you mind if we stop somewhere to eat first? I'm starved!" Lisa asked once she found her bag and retrieved it.
Rufus took it from her, and then wrapped his free arm around her again. "That's fine with me! I'm hungry too."
Lisa grinned, then kissed him quickly as she wrapped her arm around him again as well.
Then, they headed out of the airport, their arms still around each other.
"I'll just wait until we get home to tell her," Rufus thought. After all, he figured there was no use in ruining their dinner.
~Begin Again~
Lily paced the bedroom back and forth. She had called William ten times now, and left messages, but he hadn't answered her calls, and hadn't returned any of her text messages either. She was starting to worry. Had something happened to him? Was he really that angry with her?
She had checked the news, and at one point even called a couple hospitals. Thankfully, he wasn't on the news, nor had he been admitted to any hospitals.
She called Serena up to see if she had heard from her father. She hadn't. Next, she called up Lola, but, unfortunately, Lola hadn't heard from him either. Nor had Eric when she called him.
William had only been missing for seven hours. She knew that, to the police, he wouldn't be anywhere near considered missing. Especially not after he had stormed out after a fight with her. Still, she was worried, and to her, it sure felt like he was missing.
She sighed. She hadn't even eaten dinner, and it was now eight o'clock. She hadn't had much of an appetite, but now she was feeling a little hungry despite her worry and concern over her missing husband.
So, she headed to the fridge and took out some leftover Chinese food from the other night. She also took out the leftover Champaign, and downed the whole meal within five minutes. She knew it wasn't the healthiest combination, but frankly, she wasn't in the mood to worry about what was healthy to consume and what wasn't.
She tossed the now empty cartons in the trash, and put the now empty Champaign bottle in the recycling bin. Then, she tossed her dirty silverware into the dishwasher, and slammed the dishwasher door shut.
She looked at the clock, wondering how sometimes, time could go so fast, whereas other times, like now, it could go so slowly.
With a sigh, she headed upstairs to take a bath. She needed a nice warm bubble bath to relax. Well, relax as well as she could with her husband being missing.
She would bring the phone with her to keep nearby in case he called her, though, she knew deep down, he wasn't going to call. He was too angry.
Which led her to another worry. What if he never forgave her? What if he left her over this? What if her stupid mistake of kissing Rufus had cost her her marriage? If it had, she'd never forgive herself. And, she'd certainly never forgive Rufus Humphrey!
~Begin Again~
Rufus paced the floor as he waited for Lisa to come out of the bathroom. With all the pacing he had been doing lately, he was surprised he hadn't worked a hole in the floor.
They had had such a nice dinner, and Lisa had told him all about her trip.
He had nearly choked on his food when she asked him how his night had went. He did manage to get out the story of how he ended up spending the evening with Lily. Lisa had been very understanding, and even said she was glad that he and Lily had been able to spend the evening together instead of being alone. He knew that she was only so understanding because he had left out one very important detail—the midnight kiss.
However, they were back from dinner, and Lisa was now in the bathroom, probably putting on some sexy lingerie for him. When she came out, they were supposed to make love.
Rufus couldn't make love with Lisa. Not before telling her about the kiss. His conscious simply wouldn't let him.
He stopped pacing when he heard the bathroom door opening. He looked over toward the bathroom door, and just as he had suspected, there stood Lisa in a sexy little black teddy with golden sparkles lining the breasts and the leg holes.
"Is it too much?" she asked with a blush. "I got it in Vegas. I didn't want to get it, but Debbie told me you would probably kill to see me in it, so I bought it. I knew you and I would be having our own private little New Year's celebration, and I figured, with the gold sparkles and all, this would be perfect for it."
Rufus sat down on the bed. "It is perfect, and you look perfect in it."
"Are you sure? Because you both look and sound a little distracted," Lisa said, moving to sit down next to him.
Rufus sighed. He then took Lisa's hands in his own, and faced her on the bed. "Lisa, before we make love, there's something you have to know."
"What is it?" she asked, sounding a little nervous. She removed her left hand from his to move some hair to behind her left ear.
Rufus quickly continued. "Now, before I tell you, I want you to know that it meant absolutely nothing, and that I only did it because I missed you, and was feeling lonely. Plus, I had been drinking a lot of Champaign. I'm sure that must have had something to do with it."
Lisa turned pale. Rufus had never actually seen someone literally turn ghostly white before his eyes. That is, until now.
"I don't think I like where this is going," she said.
"It's not as bad as you think. I didn't sleep with Lily. I just sort of kissed her. At midnight," Rufus explained.
Lisa raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by, 'just sort of' kissed her? Either you did or you didn't."
Rufus nodded. "Fair enough. I did. I kissed her—passionately at that. It wasn't just a simple peck on the lips."
"Why? Don't you love me anymore?" Lisa asked, now pulling her other hand away from him. She had tears in her eyes.
Rufus officially felt like a world class jerk. "No! I mean yes!" He took her hands in his again. "Of course I love you, Lisa! You're my whole world! I honestly don't know why I kissed her. I just missed you so much, and it was New Year's Eve. I was lonely, and I had some Champaign in me... Look, I know there's no good excuse or it, but it happened. But that was the only time, and I assure you, it will never happen again. You're the one I love—not Lily. Lily and I are so wrong for each other, and you and I are so right for each other."
Lisa pulled her hands away from his again. "So, you kissed her at midnight?"
Rufus nodded. "Yes."
"I called you just a little after midnight." Lisa placed a hand over her heart at the realization. "Oh my gosh, were you kissing her when I called you?"
Rufus looked down at his lap in shame. "Yes. I was kissing her, and then you called, and it was over."
"Why didn't you tell me right then when you were on the phone with me? Or even today at the airport, at dinner, or anytime we spend in the car?" Lisa asked next.
Rufus looked up at her. His own eyes damp. He shrugged. "I guess I was just afraid you'd leave me. I knew I had to tell you. I just kept getting too scared to tell you. But I'm telling you now because I couldn't make love with you with this secret still hanging over my head. It wouldn't be right."
Lisa raised an eyebrow again. "But kissing your ex wife behind my back is right?"
Rufus hook his head. "No! Of course not! Look, Lisa, it was a one time thing. I regret it so much. I was an idiot." He took her hands in his yet again. "Do you think you can ever forgive me?"
Lisa sighed. "I don't know. You know, I should be mad as hell at you."
Rufus nodded. "I know. You have every right to be."
Lisa then smiled. "But I can't stay angry with you. You told me the truth. It took you a bit, but the point is, you told me. That shows me, it really didn't mean anything to you, and that I can still trust you. And, I know you only did it because you missed me, and because you had some alcohol in you."
Rufus nodded. "All true."
Lisa then narrowed her eyes at him. "But this is a one-time pass, Rufus. If you ever do it again, even just a kiss with Lily or anyone else, we're through. I will not marry, nor will I be married to a cheater. Do I make myself clear?"
Rufus nodded. "Yes! Yes, crystal clear. Thank you for forgiving me! It's so much more than I deserve. I know."
Lisa smiled. "You're good to me, and you were honest. Of course you deserve my forgiveness! Now, are you going to take this too-tight, slightly itchy thing off of me or what?"
Rufus grinned. "If you still want me to."
Lisa smiled brightly, and squeezed his hands in her own."Of course I do! I told you, I forgive you for the kiss! Besides, I meant what I said. This thing really is too tight, and slightly itchy. In fact, It's a lot itchy. I think I might just be allergic to the material."
Rufus laughed; so relieved to be forgiven. He had done all that worrying for nothing! "Well, then, by all means, let me get this off of you!"
Lisa giggled, and they went to work at finally celebrating the new year together.
~Begin Again~
Lily tossed and turned in her bed. She could't sleep. She had thought a nice warm bubble bath would have done the trick, but it hadn't. She had watched two Lifetime movies, and cried her eyes out during both. She had gotten up to get some warm milk. She had paced the floor for a half hour. Heck, she had even tried counting sheep! Nothing was working.
She was worried about William. He still hadn't called her. She had called the hospitals again, and still there was no word of him being checked into the hospitals. Not even any John Doe. She had asked.
She had thought her last message to him would get him to call her for sure, but it hadn't.
William, please call me back. I'm so worried about you. At least text me. Even if you're angry with me, you don't want me worrying about you. Do you? Please, just let me know you're not hurt, or lying in a ditch somewhere. I love you. It's always been you and only you for me. Please, call me or text me. I'm sorry. I'm never going to do something so stupid as to kiss Rufus Humphrey or anyone else ever again! Heck, especially not Rufus Humphrey. Please, just text or call me back. I beg of you. -Your Lily Always.
She had meant every word of the text, but despite her numerous, honest, heartfelt pleas for him to call or text her, he didn't.
She sighed, and rolled over onto her side, facing the window. "Where are you, William? Where?"
The tears started to fall then, and she couldn't stop them as they made a quick stream down her cheeks.
She sniffled, and reached for a tissue on her bed stand. She blew her nose, then tossed the tissue toward the wastebasket. She missed, but she simply didn't have the energy to get out of bed and put it in the basket. She would do it tomorrow. She may not have been tired, but it didn't mean she wasn't drained. In fact, right now, she very highly doubted she cloud lift her head from the pillow for more than a second.
She rolled over onto her other side to look at the clock. It was ten-thirty. Usually by now, she and William would still be out and about doing something or another. Whether it be a party, or a movie, or sometimes, a very late dinner. Then sometimes, when they came home early, they'd be making love by now.
She sighed again as she thought back to all the happy times she had had with William. Then she thought about having kissed Rufus at midnight. She didn't know why she had done it. She probably never would other than their history, loneliness, and the Champaign in her system. Not that she had drank all that much. Heck, not that it had even been in her system that long when she kissed him.
She let out a cry of frustration, and pounded her fist on William's unoccupied pillow beside her. "What have I done?" she groaned. "Calm down," she told herself. "William loves you. He's not going to leave you just because you kissed your ex husband one time. Not when it didn't mean anything."
She rolled to her other side, and closed her eyes. She kept repeating that last line over and over in her head, hoping that, if she was able to convince herself that William wouldn't leave her over one stupid kiss that meant absolutely nothing with her ex husband, then maybe, just maybe, sleep would finally arrive for her. One could only hope.
~Begin Again~
"So, do you like?" Cassidy asked with a smile as she disrobed in front of William at her place.
William licked his lips. "Like? I love. But I must say, as sexy as that black little lace thong and matching black bra are on you, they really must go." He loved that Cassidy's roommate was out of town for the week. This way, they didn't have to waste money on a hotel. Then again, maybe, if her roommate was single and into this kind of thing, she could join them when she got back. That is, if he could be bothered to stay with Cassidy for more than a week.
Cassidy smirked. "Do you think that is going to come cheap? Think again, because it's not."
William was confused. "You want me to pay you to remove them?"
Cassidy rolled her eyes. "Not with money. I'm not a hooker, you know. You're lucky you're cute. Otherwise, I wouldn't take that comment too kindly."
William shook his head. "No, no! I wasn't suggesting that you were a hooker. I just didn't understand what you meant by, 'it doesn't come cheap.'"
Cassidy smirked again. "Well, then let me explain it to you in a way that you'll understand." She slowly sauntered over to him, then grabbed him, pressing his body hard against hers as she whispered into his ear, "What I meant was, you're going to have to work for it if you want me to take these off. You see, I'm the kind of girl who loves foreplay, and lots of it at that. In fact, I like it when a guy gets me so hot, I'm begging to have him inside of me, and he's begging to be inside of me. Do you get it now?"
William moaned out loud. Did he ever!
He swallowed hard before responding. "Oh, I get it. He licked his lips. "So, what did you have in mind?"
Cassidy grinned widely at him. "Oh, I can think of more than a few things. The question is, can you?"
William bit his bottom lip. This girl was already driving him wild, and he didn't even have his pants off yet!
He nodded at her. "Why don't you start me off with an idea, and I'll take it from there?"
Cassidy tapped her mouth with her right index finger as if contemplating this. Then, after a very brief moment, she grinned at him. "All right. I'll tell you something I like." She narrowed her eyes. "But you better elaborate on it pretty darn good. Otherwise, this thing is over before it starts. If there's anything I can't stand, it's a man who doesn't know how to be creative in the bedroom."
"Oh, I can be very creative in the bedroom, I assure you," William stated. "All I need is a little push in the right direction, and I promise you, you won't be disappointed."
"I better not be," Cassidy warned. "Now listen up because I'm only going to tell you once." She then pulled him close again, and whispered in his ear what she would like.
William couldn't help but moan again. This Cassidy woman was a very dirty girl. Lucky for her, he liked dirty. He liked dirty a lot. And, he knew just how to elaborate her intimate wish. After all, he had had a lot of practice. Though, it certainly hadn't been with Lily, who was far too much of a prude to ask him to do something like this!
He picked Cassidy up, and tossed her onto the bed, roughly spreading her legs apart. She hadn't said anything about being rough, but for some reason, Cassidy struck him as a girl who liked to play rough. Judging from the pleased smirk on Cassidy's face, and the lack of protest coming from her, William knew he was correct in his thinking so.
He licked his lips. It was going to be a long, but incredibly fun night. And he knew that he would love every long minute of it! Besides, who needed sleep when you had a girl like Cassidy Reynolds? Not him. He was certain of that!
~Begin Again~
That night, Rufus lie in bed with Lisa in his arms. She was sleeping soundly. They had made love a half hour earlier, then she had simply drifted off to sleep. He knew she must be exhausted from her Vegas trip. After all, you don't get much sleep in Vegas. He knew that for a fact. He'd been there many times before with Lincoln Hawk. Plus, the plane ride couldn't have helped matters. After all, who wasn't tired after a long flight? Especially when she didn't get to sleep until four hours after her flight arrived back in NY.
After dinner, they had made love. Then they had gotten dressed, and went out for dessert, for they had both suddenly gotten a craving for chocolate cake. They had taken a walk through the park hand-in-hand after that. It was a semi-warm night for winter, and a lot of stars were out. They had walked around the park, and gazed up at the stars, discussing what kind of wedding they wanted, where they'd like to go for their honeymoon, and what they wished to accomplish in life. Lisa wanted do a world tour, and Rufus agreed that it would be pretty amazing to do a world tour. They then came up with the idea of touring together around the world, doing kind of a double concert type of thing. After all, the kids were all grown up. As long as Lisa came with him, Rufus had no one to stay in New York for anymore.
They then headed home, and watched a romantic comedy on TV. Then, they ended up making love again. Now, after their lovemaking, Lisa was out cold, and Rufus was, well, not out cold. In fact, he was finding it very hard to sleep. He wondered what had happened to him being tired earlier. He guessed, he had gotten his second wind.
He sighed as he stared up at the ceiling. He was lucky that Lisa was a kind, decent, and forgiving person. She could have been really angry with him for kissing Lily. Especially when he hadn't told her about it right away. Instead, she had forgiven him just like that. In fact, he hardly had to explain himself at all! Seriously, what woman forgives the man she is going to marry for kissing his ex-wife passionately? There weren't many, he knew. If any besides Lisa.
He sighed again. This time, he had gotten off easy. Next time, well, there wouldn't be a next time. He was over Lily. Besides, Lisa had made it perfectly clear that she would leave him if there was a next time. He couldn't lose Lisa. He just couldn't!
He gently released Lisa from his arms, careful not to wake her.
Lisa stirred a bit, but then turned on her side, and went back to sleep without a word.
He then headed into the kitchen, took out a glass, and got himself a glass of water. Next, he sat down at the kitchen island, and drank his water as he thought about the kiss again. The more he thought about the kiss, the guiltier he felt. He honestly didn't know what had gotten into him when he kissed Lily. Sure, like he told Lisa, he had been drinking Champaign. But, in reality, it hadn't been all that much. Not to mention the fact that he had kissed Lily before the Champaign had much time to settle into his system.
He sighed, then drank down the rest of the water, put the glass in the sink, headed to the bathroom, went to the bathroom, washed his hands, then finally climbed back into bed, hoping against hope that sleep would finally greet him.
