CHAPTER 4 : TO FEAR THE STRANGER
Arthur had no intention of upsetting the status quo regarding Merlin and himself.
They had to be extremely careful, one false move and their situation would become public knowledge including one member of the public, whom he was certainly not yet ready to face, the King. How far would his father go to punish them? He knew the answer and it made him sick to acknowledge the truth. His father would kill Merlin and in so doing, punish him further than even the King realised he was capable.
Sometimes at night, while Merlin slept, Arthur would suddenly wake with a start, always from the dream of the two knights burned to death. But in his dream, Merlin was one of the accused and he was always on the balcony beside his father. Once he was awake, he would realise that he had instinctively pulled Merlin to himself, hanging on to him, protecting him and inevitably disturbing his sleep.
"Arthur, what's wrong, you're practically smothering me?"
"Just a dream, I didn't want to lose you... I had to hang onto you, to stop them..."
Merlin held him close and whispered, "Oh! Arthur..." Ever since their return to Camelot, Merlin had often been woken by Arthur's hanging onto to him for dear life. He knew something was bothering him but he was unable to get him to discuss it.
"Arthur, the only time you will lose me is when one of us dies. And, I intend to make sure that that doesn't happen until we have had thousands of years of each other!" By then, Merlin was wide awake, so decided that there was no better time, than this...
Arthur smiled as he loved it when Merlin took charge. He never knew what might happen as all Merlin would say, with a wicked little grin was, "I think this calls for, Chapter: V, Page: LV, Subsection: VIII, no maybe VII" and Arthur would be swept away as Merlin and his love became more than a memory.
Arthur was daydreaming again. Anyway, where was his Problem Child? Arthur knew that Merlin hated being called that. He should have been tidying up the chamber but he had drifted away after Arthur had dressed and he hadn't seen him since.
Merlin had been wandering the halls, on his own secret mission which was unknown even to Arthur. It occupied all his spare time and some of the time, when he should have been working.
Walking through a darkened hallway, he was grabbed and imprisoned by a pair of strong arms, Arthur's. He laughed, hugging back, searching for a kiss, but almost immediately, he realised by the way the hands were groping him, that it wasn't and tried to pull away. As his eyes grew accustomed to the half-light, he saw that the man hanging onto him was a stranger. Then he suddenly remembered, there were overnight guests in the castle. He wriggled, pushed and shoved, managing to break free, but not before the man had grabbed his backside. "Just what I need, a young, spirited servant as a little entertainment for tonight, I'll see you later, boy!"
Merlin was thunderstruck. Never in all the years, that he'd been in Camelot, had he experienced anything like this. How dare someone say that to him! It was absurd, he'd given himself to only one person, Arthur. He was furious but as a servant he had to respect the King's guests. So, without a word, he turned on his heels, with the disgusting voice calling after him, "Got a good look at you, boy! I'd know your pretty face, anywhere."
He was mortified and to think that he had momentarily thought when the arms first grabbed him that it might have been Arthur. He could feel the man's lips and felt physically sick. For him, there was only Arthur, no one but Arthur! He knew there was only one place to be, so he ran as fast as he could to safety.
Out of the blue, Merlin came hurtling into the room in a real state, obviously upset. He wouldn't tell Arthur what had happened but he sat at the table by the window, his head in his hands.
"Merlin, I thought we were not going to have any secrets between us. What's wrong?" Arthur walked over and crouched down, he was shocked to see, Merlin brush away tears. "Tell me, what happened?"
Pulling away from Arthur, he walked across the room and stood at the bedpost, lost, twiddling the curtain tassels in his fingers. Arthur not accepting this as an answer, took him by the shoulders and said, "You've got to tell me what's wrong."
Merlin dodged away from his touch and threw himself on the bed. Merlin couldn't tell Arthur anything as everything was all mixed up in his mind, he needed time to sort out the sequences of what has just happened to him. That man had made him feel dirty.
Arthur moved over and sat by him, running his hand up and down his back and his fingers through his hair, making tutting and shushing noises that he had heard Gaius make, hoping that he could get him to relax a little. "Merlin, nothing's so bad that we can't face it together..." The pain and worry, he himself felt was intensified by Merlin's obvious distress. He was usually so brave in the face of danger and he seemed physically uninjured, had something happened to Gaius, his Mam, Tosh, or his darn horse Gidun for that matter.
Finally, he relaxed but he still refused to speak. Arthur stood up, covered him with a blanket and went to sit by the window worrying. He sat there, wanting to race off to Gaius but he wouldn't leave Merlin alone. Something out of the ordinary had obviously upset his normally happy, outgoing friend.
Arthur was dressed. He was dining with his father and the castle's guests. He was about to leave, when Merlin finally stirred. He was apologetic about not helping him dress. He insisted that he was coming with him to the Dining Hall. Arthur said, "You don't need to." But when he saw the look on Merlin's face, he said, "Can't have you going with a tear streaked face, can we? Freshen yourself up, I'll wait." There would be further discussions about whatever had upset Merlin later, in the privacy of their room.
Arthur glad that Merlin seemed back to normal, chatted all the way to the Dining Hall, not realizing that Merlin hardly replied. As they reached the open door, Merlin stiffened as he remembered the guests. Arthur felt him shudder and turned to him and got a weak smile. Finally the King was announced, Uther and Arthur went forward to greet their guests, followed at a respectable distance by their own personal menservants.
The man was not seated at the table, Merlin realised he must have been one of the guests' servants. In some places, Merlin as a servant, would be considered fair game as far as a stranger was concerned. He remembered his Mam commenting that he had been lucky to have his position as Arthur's manservant as that would protect him; as in many establishments, the non-indentured young servants were at the mercy of all comers... and then he'd fallen in love.
As the meal finished, Uther left the hall with his guests, and their supporters followed. Arthur lingered, in the Hall, talking to Sir Rupert and Gaius. Merlin standing closely beside him, this alone set off alarm bells for Arthur. Merlin was not the clingy type... well yes, but not in public. He could feel his tension.
Gaius looked at Arthur, saying in a low voice, "Arthur, are you being too hard on Merlin, look at him?"
Both Rupert and Arthur turned to look at Merlin. He tried to smile back but at that moment he saw, in the corridor, the stranger who smiled and made an obscene gesture at him. He froze; Arthur picked up on it instantaneously, following his gaze and in that instance, caught both the suggestive leer on the man's face and his gesture. He put two and two together and automatically put his arm around Merlin's shoulders, turning him away from the man, towards him, if the man wanted to read it as possessive, so be it. The other man smirked, lowered his eyes and left.
'That was it,' Arthur thought, 'the bastard had hit on Merlin.' He turned saying, "I'll kill him! Why in heaven's name didn't you tell me he was bothering you?"
"I thought he was a guest..." Merlin was already upset and Arthur's tone upset him even more. He shrugged his shoulders apologetically at the three of them, dropping his head.
Arthur kept his hand on his shoulder, pulling him closer towards him in a hug. "Merlin, I don't blame you at all. I am just furious and sorry that this happened to you."
Gaius said, "Uther does not condone it in his household. If he were a household servant in Camelot, forcing his unwanted attentions on another servant, he would find himself dismissed."
"I'll take care of this, Sire, in the most discreet of ways." Sir Rupert offered. Arthur nodded.
Sir Rupert thought, 'The man shouldn't be too hard to find. In no uncertain terms, he would make it clear that in Camelot, guests and their servants were welcome but had to abide by their host's rules that they not interrupt the duties any of the royal household's serving staff, beyond those assigned to them for the duration of their visit. That would do the trick! It should at least protect Merlin from any further hassles and cover Arthur's immediate propriety towards him. He didn't want his warning to be interpreted as a cover up for something which he'd had guessed and had been confirmed by Arthur's split second reaction.' Sir Rupert felt sure that Arthur would be keeping Merlin, close by his side until the guests and their support staff had left Camelot.
Gaius feeling that Arthur could cope, put his hand on Merlin's shoulder and said, "You two, have things to talk about." With a raised eyebrow directed at Arthur, he left.
Keeping an arm firmly on Merlin's shoulders, Arthur walked him back to their chambers. Merlin stood at the window with his back to the seated Arthur, telling him everything that had happened except why he had been in that area of the castle. What upset him the most was, that he had thought it was Arthur and he hadn't fought when the man first grabbed him.
"Merlin, don't blame yourself for that, he was in the wrong, he should never have touched you, period.
Come here, Merlin Love!"
Merlin moved to behind Arthur's chair and put his arms around his neck and rested his face on his head. Arthur waited patiently, once Merlin was relaxed he said, "No matter what happens to you, you are mine, first and foremost, as I am yours. You can't possibly imagine how much I love you; you are the reason I wake in the morning; the reason I sleep at night."
And a muffled voice said, "But not always, through the whole night, eh, Arthur!"
Arthur smiled.
"This is the way I want to remember us always," Arthur said, as he threw his arms over his head and pivoted Merlin so he was lifted over the arm of the chair and he landed in his lap. He put his arms around him holding him to his chest, twining his fingers in his hair. He held him close to his heart for ages.
Merlin finally, said, "I can remember my Mam holding me like this. Arthur, if ever I have a fight with you, just grab me to hold me like this and I will remember everything that is good with the world, and forgive you for whatever you did to start the fight. Honestly!"
"But maybe you will start the fight and then, what are you going to do, for me?
Merlin grinned, "Arthur, I will make you forget that you ever lived without me by your side."
Laughing Arthur said, "That sounds great," he shifted slightly, "but if you stay any longer on my knees you're going to hurt me. You're not half heavy!"
Slipping off Arthur's knees but keeping his arms securely around his waist, Merlin knelt before him and said, "I'm not that heavy, I'm wiry and very strong... You said so!"
Arthur stood up and pulled Merlin up with him. He swung him into his arms, carried him across the room and dumped him unceremoniously on the bed. "Very well, wiry and strong one, put yourself to good use!"
