Zana: And we're back with chapter four! I'm so into this fic, I've stopped updating for my other ones…so after this chapter it might just take a bit of time to get to the next chapter. This is why I make this chapter special and huggable. I would like to thank xXxchiixXx, (Yeah, I heart plushies!), Trigger Happy Psychopath, (Dude, I'm loving your fic as well!), Solo-Maxwell Yamato, (Thanks for the hug, I feel appreciated!), aruslym, (You rock!), and Me and My God Complex, (Cause you rock as well). I write for reviewers! Lolita Strawberry, I heart you too!
Ed: (Does a victory dance) Suck it biatches, this chapter is in MY point of view and I get to type it! (Flips)
Envy: …But Edo, you're not that interesting…we all know my mind is more interesting than yours…you don't even know what Microsoft is…
Ed: …I can learn! (Looks on computer) OHHHH! Microsoft is the program Zana uses to type things! (Feels all knowledgeable)
Zana: (Sighs) And you guys think I'm dumb…and isn't Ed suppose to be a genius? Here reviewers… (Throws Wrath to the fangirls) I made them happy! (Dances in joy)
Wrath: (Yells out a list of curse words so foul, I dare not type them…)
Envy: (Locks Zana in a cold, dark closet) Okay Edo, it's your turn to type and we'd better make out a lot…and I'd better be cool-looking in your mind! And we're so not using Rewrite as our end song…
Ed: YES WE ARE DAMNIT, IT'S MY CHAPTER AND WE'RE USING REWRITE, GOT IT!
Envy: (Has gone deaf)
Ed: (Smiles) Okay, here you guys go… (Greed mummers something) WHAT! YOU ARE YOU CALLING SO BORING THAT IT'S MORE FUN TO WATCH GRASS GROW AND PAINT DRY!
Greed: …WTF?
Warnings: Minor religion-bashing, cursing, illegal things, Ed and Envy getting closer…? Horribly bad made up lyrics…the usual…
Drive Me Crazy
Chapter 4: How Life Can Trip You Up…
Edward's Point of View
Envy felt…safe.
He felt warm and kind and just oh-so…good.
It was the complete opposite of the trash-talking, teasing sarcastic bastard I was use to.
And it kind of scared me. A mood swing perhaps…?
But I didn't think much of it at the moment. All I could think about was my mother. I knew that she was going to die someday because we all die someday. It's inevitable. But still…
This is why I want to study science…in the hopes that one day I could figure out what is happening to her and cure it. It was up to me to do everything and damn it, I will do everything, all by myself. I've been doing it for sixteen years and I don't plan to stop now.
Our hug ended when Mustang drove up to the Amestris Hospital. At least the fuckn' pervert was useful for something. My heartbeat was erratic and I felt light, so light. Almost like I could fly despite the heavy weight attached to me. I ran in and saw Mrs. Gracia, Mr. Hughes wife and my mother's nurse standing with Al. I ran straight them with questions, "What's going on? Is she alright? Or is she…she…" I just couldn't say the words…
Mrs. Gracia leaned over until she was at my height, (I'm NOT short, thank you very much), and looked into my eyes, "The doctors are with her right now and they have her stable…that's all we know for now…all we can do it pray…"
Pray my ass. Oh God, please let me use some of your holy water and sprinkle it all over my mother so that she can be healed. Bring my daddy back too while you're at it…screw religion.
Al was quiet. It looked like I had to do some big-brotherly comfort, but how in the hell could I comfort him when I was complete mess myself? I would have to try anyway. "Alu…remember that song that mom use to sing to us?" He kinda looked at me through the corner of his eye, questioning if I was going to sing it or not. I guess I will sing…I cleared my throat, "…No matter how dark it gets…there's always a light calling for you at the end of the tunnel…" Al blinked slowly at me. My mission was to get a smile on his face. I flipped my loose hair back and curtsied in my dress…
I am acting so fucking gay…but I'm not…because there's Rose…Envy is just…I don't know yet…
"No matter how terrible the storm gets, think of the calm silence that will drift you away afterward…into the land of imaginings and dreams, of hope and love of splendor and wonder…"
I see it…the beginnings of a smile trying to make its way across his face. I spun around in my French maid outfit and winked, "No matter whaaatttt may occur just remember, I'm here for you and that will always stay true, keep you head up and never give up..." My voice cracked when I tried to hit that high note and that had Al laughing aloud. Mrs. Gracia held a small grin on her face. At least I lifted some of my brother's worry off his shoulders…
"O'chibi-san…that was lovely," Envy drawled in the back of me. Shit, I forgot he and Mustang were still there. They would never let me live this down. I turned and Envy had a cocky, all-knowing grin on his face. Mustang was trying to look serious, but his lips kept twitching uncontrollably. Envy placed an arm around my shoulder, "You can't get any more feminine than that…a dress, singing…can you cook?"
"WHO'S SO GIRLY HE BAKES COOKIES AND CAKES FOR FUN!"
Everyone started to laugh at me. That is what my life consists of: people laughing at me, people calling me…short, and people trying to get me to drink cow piss. Now the girl thing would be added to my list. Al studied Envy before asking, "Hello…are you nii-san's friend?" I shot a glare at him. He'd better not say something that would disturb Al for the rest of his life…
"You must be the famous Alphonse…you do look a lot like your brother, consider yourself lucky…the name's Envy…" They shook hands. Wow, Envy was actually being civil… that was new…oh fuck no…
That fucking pussy-hunting bastard was flirting with Gracia…who was married! Did he not see the damn wedding ring! He is such a horny, disgusting thirty-something year old bastard!
A few minutes later, I was screaming the hell out of him while Envy and Al participated in light discussion…I hope. All chatter ended when a strict-looking doctor appeared. Envy was suddenly next to me and whispered, "Looks likes someone stuck a twenty-seven foot pole up his ass." I think that joke was his way of trying to calm my jumping nerves…too bad it didn't work…
"Are you Ms. Elric's family…?" he asked, staring at all of us. "Of course we are, we're just one, big happy family worried about our mother, so cut the formality shit, okay?" Envy said it in a way that was disturbingly preppy. The Pole-Up-His-Ass man adjusted his glasses, "My name is Doctor Stuart and it seems Ms. Elric had suffered from a severe seizure…after we stabilized her she promptly fell into a coma…her heartbeat and breathing seems to be fine now…but we're not sure when she will wake up…if she ever wakes…"
This next part shocked me…because it was just a bit weird. If Envy had only done it, I wouldn't have been surprised…but at that exact moment, Envy, Mustang, and Al all grabbed Doctor Stuart's shirt and yelled, "She's going to fucking wake up!" Okay, Al did not say the fucking part because curse words were not in his innocent vocabulary…and since when did Mustang care about me?
Dr. Stuart got the message and adjusted his frames again, "You may see her now if you like…"
I froze up because I couldn't.
I can't…
There's always been something about seeing death…seeing the sick suffering that scared the hell out of me. I did not want to see my beautiful, pleasant mother attached to an IV tube and wires down her throat. I want to remember her from how she appeared when I was a child…
The first time I had to see her in that way, I did not move or speak for two months…it fucked me up that much…
"Nii-san…it's going to be alright…" Al's warm hand was placed with my right one. How ironic, now Alu was trying to comfort me. An arm wrapped itself around my left arm it a pretzel lock and I knew that it was Envy.
I can do this.
XXX (About 2 Hours Later…11:33pm)
"EDWARD IS STAYING WITH ME!"
"O'CHIBI-SAN OBVIOUSLY LIKES ME MORE! YOU'D PROBABLY END UP RAPING HIM!"
"AND YOU WOULDN'T!"
"AT LEAST I KNOW HE WOULD ENJOY IT PEDOPHILE!"
"LOOK WHO'S TALKING PALM TREE!"
It feels very nice to be argued over and all, but this was getting ridiculous. So I interjected, "…I have my own place you know…"
Both Mustang and Envy looked at me. "Edward, you cannot honestly stay by yourself, at least not for tonight…you might be emotionally unstable…" In other words, they're convinced I'm suicidal. Great.
"Edward can stay with my husband and I," Mrs. Gracia said. Mustang snapped his fingers, "Damn, she's married…" "I JUST TOLD YOU THAT AWHILE AGO, WEREN'T YOU LISTENING?" I yelled. Envy shoved Mustang out of the way and grinned, "So you'll be staying with me, yes? I'm sure little Al and Wrath can get along…" Al nodded, blushing slightly. This was just too much, "I'M NOT SOME LITTLE KID THAT NEEDS PROTECTION AND IF I WAS SUICIDAL, I WOULD HAVE KILLED MYSELF A LONG TIME AGO, SO CAN EVERYONE JUST LEAVE ME AND AL ALO-"
Envy kissed me.
Like, right in front of my little brother and Mrs. Gracia…
Oh shit…Al's going to hate me…
It wasn't a lusty kiss, just a Shut-The-Hell-Up-And-Listen Kiss. Quick, rough and satisfying. "No one called you a child; it would just make me feel better if you were to have some company for awhile…you've been through a lot in the past few hours, ne?" He made it sound final, plus his eyes were like…glowing, so I nodded, "Fine…just for tonight..." He made a victory "V" hand-sign in Mustang's face. Mustang sulked…I hope that bastard did not really like in the way he act like he does…because then I'm calling the cops…
"Nii-san, you go out with Envy-san?" Al asked me with curiosity. "…Ah…it's a long story, and I'm beat, aren't you? Maybe some other time! Hey Mustang, take us to Envy's and give Mrs. Gracia a ride home, k?"
"Do I look like a chauffeur?" he muttered, getting into his car and starting it up. Even though my mother was in a coma…the freaking-out wasn't as bad as it was last time…because I know…she will get better and then I'll find a cure…then we'll all be a family again…
I agree, it's a little far-fetched, cheesy and hopeful-sounding…but it's what I feel. I can even hear her singing now…
"No matter how terrible the storm gets, think of the calm silence that will drift you away afterward…into the land of imaginings and dreams, of hope and love of splendor and wonder…"
XXXX
Three-Day Vacation, Day 1 (Also Know as Suspension!)
XXXX
Something strangely warm was licking my mouth. I pushed whatever it was away and continued to sleep. But the warm licking returned. "Stopitrightnow," I murmured, my hands doing something with the bed sheets… the licking now moved down to my stomach and I jumped up, "I SAID STOPIT ENVY!" To my surprise, it was a cat. A fluffy, white and grey cat. It meow-ed before jumping off the bed and running off. I looked around and then I remembered that I was at Envy's house…in Envy's bed. But his body was not there anymore. There was just a little stick-it note. I picked it up.
Edo,
I went out with Wrath and Al. Why you may ask? It's a surprise. Don't worry; I'll make sure your darling brother returns safely and all virgin-tized as you like him. Mi casa es su casa, do whatever you want. Be back soon.
Your Beloved Psycho, Envy
I wonder what kind of surprise he's talking about. And since when did he speak Spanish? I rested my head back on Envy's pillow and studied his room some more. It was very interesting to say the least…
There was game stations splattered across the floor along with some discarded clothing. There was a bright yellow beanie chair sitting in the left corner. Cigarette boxes and pills were all over the place as well. It's so…weird. I'm a goody-goody, nerdy, neat-freak and Envy is a psychotic palm tree dreg. And here I was in his room. My hardships meeting his chaos. I kind of like it.
I picked up one of the cigarette boxes and pulled one out. Surprise, surprise, there was a lighter nearby. I lit the thing up in the way I saw them do it in the movies, all sophisticated like. My body was willing me to do this, but my mind scolded, "Edward, haven't you watched those movies in health class? Any illegal substance or cigarette is EVIL. Put down that cancer stick!" "But Envy does it all the time…" the other part, the willing part of my mind chimed. "EXACTLY, EDWARD DO YOU WANT TO BE LIKE ENVY?" "Shut the fuck up, it's only one smoke, it's not like he'll get instantly hooked…"
I was feeling nice toward the willing part. I took the cancer stick into my mouth and inhaled…
Ack…!
I dropped the caner stick and started coughing. My throat burned like hell and my eyes were burning and watering...how could smokers stand it! I needed water…water, water, water! I'm meeellllting...
I spotted a few bottles of some type of beverage beneath Envy's bed. I quickly grabbed a can and started to drink. The liquid tasted awful, but I kept on drinking anyway. My throat still twanged with pain, so I took another can…and another can and another can until the burning stopped.
A few minutes later, everything felt light. This was new…all very new…
Whoa…now it's blurry…
XXX
Ed: …See, I can so write an interesting chapter! Wait…what did I do to myself?
Envy: It's over already? That was short…like YOU! (Laughs and Ed transmutes arm into auto-mail blade…Envy stops…)
Zana: Of course it's not over, Rewrite didn't even show up!
Envy: Didn't I freaking lock you up!
Zana: (Points to Al and Envy glares) Anyway, I'm taking over this chapter now…time for the fun to really begin…
Ed: …ENVY GETS A WHOLE FUCKING CHAPTER IN HIS POINT OF VIEW AND I ONLY GET HALF A CHAPTER? THAT IS BULL- (Gets thrown the reviewers again) …NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Zana: On with the show!
XXX
The Tuesday morning was crisp, fresh, and warm. A blonde, a dark-haired child and a palm tree were seen walking down the sidewalk. The palm tree carried two large bags in his capable hands. "I wish Ed was my older brother," Wrath announced as the trio neared the Envy house hold. The last name of this family was still a mystery…did they even have last names? Envy rolled his eyes, "And I wish Dante would give you up to an animal shelter, but we can't all get what we want, ne?"
"Envy-san, why do you have dog leashes on us?" Al asked. A black collar surrounded both of the thirteen year old's necks and connected to a leash that Envy held. "…Because I can't afford you two getting lost. People would get pissed off at me…"
"You're such a prick," Wrath murmured. "Thanks, I love you too retard…" Al did not understand their relationship. Sure, he and his brother fought sometimes, but not as often as this and they never used such foul language either. Maybe this is why Wrath looks so sad in school…well, from now on, I'm going to be the best friend I can be to him!
"Don't call me retarded you fat fuck!" "Do I look fat to you? You must be stupid and blind…Moofy…" Al looked over at Wrath, "…Moofy?" Wrath bared his teeth and started biting on the dog leash until it broke. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU…HOJU!" Al blinked again, "…Hoju?" Wrath tackled Envy to the sidewalk and the two brothers started beating the crap out of each other. Al caught the bags that flew in mid-air.
I think…this is their way of showing they like each other on the inside…he decided. And if not…they needed some family counseling…
Thirty Minutes Later… (A/N: Moofy! Kawaii! And I apologize for my probably incorrect drug usage…I'm not an expert in that area…)
Envy opened the door to his house, feeling more or less annoyed. But Edo's scowling face should make him feel so much better. But Envy did not return to see a scowling Ed.
As soon as he opened the door, Ed practically flopped on him and they two fell onto the floor. Ed was wearing nothing but a silky pink nightdress; one that he knew belonged to Dante. His golden hair was slightly messy and his eyes were nothing but a glazed golden hue. "Ennnnvyyyy," he slurred, "make looovee to meeee, baabbby…" Ed then sloppily kissed Envy. The kiss was more like a smooch, to be exact. The chibi tasted strongly of alcohol and tobacco, two objects that could be found in his room. Envy initiated the end of the smooch, "Chibi, have your been messing with my stuff?" Ed giggled and leaned forward, "Chain me to your bed…I promise I'll be good…" You don't know how much Envy wanted to do just that. But that would be wrong…plus, Al was there…and that thing called Wrath…
"Nii-san, are you drunk!" the younger Elric squawked. "…Alu…you're soooo pretttyyy…someone screw me, I'm tired of being a virgin!" Ed growled and grabbed both of Envy's wrists, "…Come on, take me, you knoooow you want this…" The chibi started biting on Envy's neck, hand slipping down the taller teen's Happy Bunny pajama bottoms…
Resist the cute chibi, resist the cute chibi, resist the cute chibi…gah…! Who can resist the cute chibi!
Envy could not move at all as the cute chibi tongued him languidly while rubbing on the growing bulge in his pants…who knew Ed was secretly an expert when drunk?
"Wrath-san, DON'T!" Al cried but Wrath lifted the frying pan high into the air before slamming it on Edward's head. The chibi promptly passed out. Al suffered from a heart attack, also passing out.
"WRATHHHHHHHHHHHYOUMOTHERFUCKINGSONOFABITCHCUNTDRINKINGGOODFORNOTHINGDUMBASSFUCKSHIT!"
XxXxXxXxXx
After the initial throwing up, bitching, moaning, and blushing, Ed took a shower and borrowed a black T-shirt with black jeans from Envy since his job uniform was out of the question. Now he sat in the living room, which held a Victorian feel to it, re-braiding his loose hair. He hated his hair when it was down and yet refused to cut it. A truly paradoxal situation. I can't believe I did all that…now Envy is going to think that I really want him…that is the last time I do anything stupid like that…I am such an idiot…
"Feeling better o'chibi-san? Any loose screws in the head? Wrath did hit you pretty hard…" Ed pouted, "I feel just fine…" He secured his braid with a red rubber band before tossing it to its rightful place on the back of his neck. "And listen, just because I did things to you when I was drunk, doesn't mean anything, okay?" "…So I don't…mean anything to you?" Ed made himself face Envy who sat next to him on the couch. The emerald-haired teen had his hair in a sort of high ponytail, the famous headband he normally wore missing from action. There was fading bruises from the time he smashed Envy's head against the wall. A simple, light brown shirt hung off his rather thin figure, revealing both of his pale, white shoulders. Light purple eyes watched with and unreadable expression.
Ed suddenly had this urge to just touch his face.
"I didn't mean it in that way…I mean…you're the first person that wasn't a girl that liked me for me…Winry has always been my friend…I never thought that she was 'cute' or anything…then Rose came and I really like Rose…then you came and confused me…"
Envy was now rubbing a sensitive spot on Ed's back. It felt good.
"…How do I confuse you…?" Ed made a small noise, "Lower…right there…yeah…you're bipolar…one minute you're smacking me up and the next you're cuddling all over me…and you're another guy…"
"Well," Envy started, "all I can tell you is stop thinking about what other people think…fuck them. Just do what you want to do…and the next time you're drunk and you make out with me, make sure you finish what your doing, it's not as fun taking care of it yourself…"
Golden eyes widened in realization, "ENVY GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!"
"I washed them chibi…oh, oh, c'mon I still have to give you your surprise, and it might be cold by now!" He grabbed Ed's hand and guided him toward the kitchen. It was all white and had a painting of a woman in it. Ed stopped and studied the painting as Envy dug inside the refrigerator. It was of a woman with neck length dark hair and pretty light purple eyes. A cruel smiled smile played along her lips. Her eyes seemed to have the ability to stare into the soul. "…Who is this Envy…?"
"Dante…the mother of the year, ne?" The sarcasm was obvious. "…So I guess you and her don't get along…" Envy shrugged, "As you can tell, I don't really care much for my family…here you go!" Ed was handed a brown paper bag and he peeked inside of it. Golden eyes instantly lit up, "Cinnamon buns with frosting on them, I love these things!" Ed dug into the bag and pulled out one, instantly munching on it with content pleasure. "Mmmmmm, I think I'm in heaven…thanks Envy..."
Ed was caught by surprise when the taller teen swooped over and captured his lips in a kiss. Envy savored the flavor of the white icing, lapping it up the way a kitten would all over the blonde's lips. Ed took a sharp intake of breath. Envy smelled like smoke and sweetness all the same time and it was a bit intoxicating.
"…Stop making out with in the kitchen, I eat here," Wrath stated bluntly, lagging around ice which he held to his left eye. Envy did lay quite a beating on the younger boy. Al followed and this time crossed his arms, "Nii-san, Envy-san is your boyfriend, isn't he? But I thought you liked Rose-san…and Winry-san…nii-san, are you a PIMP?"
"NO AL! I mean, Envy isn't my…you know…" "Nii-san, I'm not a little kid, don't lie to me…" "BUT IT'S THE TRUTH AL!" The younger Elric brother just would not take it. "When you're ready to tell me the truth nii-san, talk to me." With that, Al turned and left the kitchen. But before he could completely leave, another entered.
It was a woman with dark hair and light purple eyes, wearing a rather somber yet elegant dark dress. Her eyes narrowed toward Envy then Ed.
"Envy…who in the world it that? Another whore of yours?"
Music to Rewrite starts to fade as the scene in the kitchen fades to black. The chapter credits roll by as it shows a picture of a solemn Envy standing at a street corner, lighting a joint. He wears a large set of earphones and is silently bopping to the beat of whatever is playing.
Jishiki kajou no boku no mado ni wa, kyonen no KARENDAA hidzuke ga nai yo…
(In the window of the excessively self conscious me, there are no dates in last year's calendar.)
Envy is now walking down the street, watching as little kids run around, playing tag. He watches as others move on with their daily lives, but he is moving in slow motion. He is crossing the street and a car runs over him.
Keshite RIRAITO shite, kudaranai chou gensou wasurarenu sonzai kan o kishikaisei RIRAITO shite, imi no nai mousou mo kimi o nasu dendouryoku zanshin zanrei o kure yo…
(Erase and rewrite, the pointless ultra-fantasy, Revive, the unforgettable sense of being, rewrite, the meaningless imagination, the driving force that creates you, give it your whole body and soul…)
Envy wakes up to find that him getting hit by a car is all a dream. He covers himself up in his blankets and thoughts of Ed causes a small smile to creep onto his face. The camera zooms towards the window and into the clear sky where the half moon is shining clearly.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Zana: Awwwwww, wasn't that cute your guys?
Envy: …NO.
Zana: I left you guys off with a cliffy! Kinda…who is that woman? (You should know…) What will she do? We'll get to see why Envy hates her so much…coming up next chapter: The Second and Third day of suspension, filled with some things, including visiting Ed's mom….then back to school where "pleasant" surprises await our heroes! To tell the truth, I think this was a little rushed…might have to fix this up later… (Sighs)
Ed: HAHAH, IN YOUR FACE ENVY, WE USED REWRITE! (High fives Zana)
Envy: NEXT CHAPTER WE'RE USING MELISSA!
Ed: READY STEADY GO!
Envy: MELISSA!
Zana…I kinda like both… (Sighs) If anyone is curious about where I get the lyrics, send me a message and I'll be more than happy to give them to ya. Well, I got a lotta crap to do and updating, I'll catch you all next chapter!
Wrath: Read and Review because I'm more adorable than AL!
Al: NO FAIR! (Both get into a dust cloud fight)
Ja ne!
