A/N: Once again, you all amaze me with your lovely comments. I am so truly, truly humbled and flattered by your compliments on my writing. I've been at it awhile so to get such wonderful feedback is a really great feeling.
So a few shoutouts and then...oh yes, a WARNING: this chap has some yucky angst. Sorry...
Intricate Fox - Yes, actually! I'm kind of picturing Jesse Williams, who plays Dr. Jackson Avery on Grey's Anatomy, but with the voice of Chiwetel Ejiofor, from 2012 and the Othello production with Ewan McGregor and Tom Hiddleston. :) I'm not sure why this is how I've pictured Thane, but that's what I see when I write him. Thanks for asking!
Rathokhan - Ah! Again, thank you! I always find it unbelievable when, in any story, the characters just jump into bed so quickly. I'm aware that it happens in real life sometimes, but not with characters like Loki and Tony—at least not the way I've written them. Here's your angst!
samiam13 and anyone else wondering about which kid I'm picking for Loki - obviously, it's not Hela. Also, he won't have one of the mythological names (Sleipnir, Fenrir, etc.). I haven't yet decided on the more modern name yet, but it's a little ways off still before it becomes necessary to name him. :)
And lastly kattdrakken - I'm so curious to know what you may have figured out! DM me please and tell me! :)
Love to my FrostIron Crew *hearts*
Now go forth and read!
XOXO, LL
When Loki came to the next morning, he had a throbbing headache, a growling stomach, and an aching groin. He sat up in the bed, rubbing at his temples, and smacking his lips against the dry, nasty taste in his mouth. He opened his eyes, stopped massaging his head, and looked around the dark room in total confusion.
"Good morning, sir." Jarvis cleared up the dark windows to a beautiful view of New York.
Loki groaned and winced at the brightness. "Uh...good morning—Jarvis, isn't it? Do you have the time?"
"It is 8:22 in the morning, sir."
Loki sighed and covered his face. "Damn. Thank you," he called out belatedly. He slowly and carefully got to his feet and began searching for his clothes.
"I believe you're looking for this." Pepper walked in, carrying Loki's suit, pressed and dry- cleaned. Her blue eyes darted down as Loki stretched, grew wide and she quickly averted them away. Her cheeks grew pink and she looked away, holding out the suit by the hanger, dangling it from one finger.
Loki grinned and wondered what her reaction would have been had he been put to bed nude, as he usually slept. "Good morning, Ms. Potts." He took the suit and held it against himself. "Thank you. You wouldn't happen to know where Anthony is, would you?" Loki removed the plastic wrapping around the suit and put his pants on first.
One reddish-blonde eyebrow rose high over a blue eye full of judgment. "Mr. Stark," she emphasized once again, "is down in his offices, where's he's been since six o'clock. Apparently, he had some trouble sleeping."
Loki caught the accusation in her tone and grinned at it as he buttoned up his shirt. "Hmm. Well, if he had taken me up on my offer last night, I can assure you that would not have been the case this morning." He chuckled smugly at Pepper's shocked face. "Does he always have you take care of these types of errands, Ms. Potts?"
Pepper's lips curved and she folded her arms, the file folders in her hands flattening against her chest. "Mr. Stark is a busy man, Mr. Odinson," she added venomously. "It's my job as his personal assistant to make things as easy as possible for him. I do anything and everything Mr. Stark requires. Including, occasionally, taking out the trash."
Loki chuckled softly, giving her points for not throwing anything sticky or green over his head this time, as she started out of the room. "I'm not going anywhere, Pepper."
Pepper jerked to a halt.
"Anthony and I have not reconciled—and I don't know that we ever will—but I am back in his life, as a friend, at least." Pepper turned to face him as he approached. "As you appear to be quite important to him and his work and his life, do you think it might serve us both well to at least be civil with each other in his company?"
Her lips pressed together. "No."
Loki laughed softly. "Pepper—"
"You have no idea what you put him through," she said softly but gruffly, her face inches from him. Loki frowned but didn't back away. In fact, he took a step forward, making Pepper back up two.
"And you have no idea what he put me through. Nor can you understand what our relationship was and how devastating it was to us both when it ended." Pepper had no response. "You cannot fight all of his battles for him, my dear. Especially the ones he himself is not willing to fight."
"Stop using your fancy words on me, Loki. You weren't good enough for him all those years ago; you're not good enough for him now. You try to snake your way back into his heart and I will do everything in my power to push you right back out. You get me?"
Before Loki could respond, Pepper pivoted on her high heel and stormed out. Considering, Loki moved back to the bed to finish dressing. He found his cell phone and car keys waiting for him on the counter of the bar in the lounge.
He had hoped when he woke that Tony would have been there in the bed next to him, or at least somewhere in the vicinity of his bedroom. Barring that, a note with his keys letting him know where they stood would have been nice. But there was nothing. Loki didn't often regret his actions; but if he regretted anything it probably involved Tony. He ended their relationship because he felt it was the best thing for both of them at the time. That didn't meant he never wished he had not done it.
He knew the champagne was a large part of the reason why he wanted Tony to kiss him last night. The fact that he was craving Tony's lips on his again was only a minor factor, heightened by his rapid consumption of the alcohol. However, he had clearly read too much into Tony's actions and body language the previous night. But he had to be honest with Tony and tell him about his son before things went any further.
And now it was apparent that the fact that Loki had a child was a bigger deal than he had expected it to be—though he wasn't sure what he really had expected. Once he was outside of Stark Tower, and in his car, he pulled out his cell phone. "Hi. It's me. Are you free for lunch? I have your answer."
Pepper rode up from her office to Tony's lab, where he had been tinkering for most of the day. He was welding something mechanical to something else mechanical and Iron Maiden was blaring from the stereo. Wincing at the driving guitars and screeching voices, Pepper had Jarvis lower the music. Tony glanced up from his welding. He must have spotted Pepper because he lifted the mask and frowned at her.
"If you don't stop doing that I'm going to revoke your access to Jarvis."
"No, you won't."
Tony fully removed the mask from his head followed by the thick gloves on his hands. "Keep trying me. You'll see."
"It's time to go." Pepper had the music stopped completely and called for the elevator.
"Wait." Tony got to his feet. "Um, how did it go?"
"How did what go?"
"The…this morning…with…in my room…?"
Pepper stiffened a little. Then put a small smile on her face. "It went fine. He was out of the tower by nine. Now, let's go."
Tony glanced at the nearest clock. That was nearly two hours ago. "So…he just left? He didn't say anything? Or ask for me? Or...anything?"
"No, not that I can recall. I need to get you on a plane in the next hour and a half, Tony. Get in the elevator and let's get going."
"Did you give him my message?"
Pepper waited by the elevator, eyeing Tony silently. "Yes, I gave him a message. Now, come on. The plane won't wait for you."
Sighing dejectedly, Tony tossed the gloves to the table and made his way toward the elevator, his face in a frown, his lips in a pout. "It's my plane, Pepper. Of course it'll wait for me."
They rode up to Tony's rooms in silence. Once they reached his floor, Pepper fell into step beside him, rattling off his messages, upcoming meetings and updates on projects others were working on, as Tony toyed with his handheld Starkpad. "Are you listening to me?" Tony hummed a positive response. "Your bags are all ready. You have roughly fifteen minutes max to shower and get dressed."
"I showered twice in the last twelve hours. I think I'm clean."
"Why did—?" Pepper thought of Loki and rolled her eyes. "Never mind, I don't want to know. Happy's got the car ready; your bags are in it, so all that we're waiting for is you."
Tony wandered into his room and glanced at the bed that was still unmade and probably reeked of Loki's forest-like scent. He moved into his closet and pulled out whatever suit he might need and walked out to Pepper. "Where am I going again?"
"To Japan. You're finishing up negotiations with them. Tony—" Pepper protested when he shoved the suit at her. "Put this on right now."
"No. I'm not sitting in a suit for that long of a flight. Put it in the car, I'll put it on when we get closer. How long am I supposed to be there?" Tony grabbed his watch from his nightstand, eyeing the bed again in a sideways glance, frustration building in his chest.
"That depends on you and how quickly you get through the negotiations."
Tony clasped his watch over his wrist and spun around, heading rapidly out of the room, with Pepper hot on his heels. "Then don't book me a hotel room. I'm going to head back as soon as we're done there."
"Tony, it's a long flight," she stated, out of breath, as she tried to keep up with the fast-walking genius. "You don't know how long this might take. I don't think it's a good idea for you to—"
Tony stopped suddenly, forcing Pepper to scramble to a stop as well, while simultaneously trying to balance the papers and clipboard in her arms and the suit Tony had thrust at her. He looked at her over his shoulder, then turned fully. His eyes glowed black and blue from the light of the arc reactor bright beneath the thin black tank he wore. "I wasn't asking for your permission, Pepper."
Pepper's back went ramrod straight. "I see." Tony's gaze was harsh and focused on her and it made her shiver—not in anticipation like it used to, but in something akin to fear. "I'll make sure the pilot is on standby."
"Thank you." Tony continued on to the elevator that opened just as he approached it. "And do me a favor. Don't make my bed."
Loki watched people pass by the window of the sushi restaurant he was waiting in, rushing on their way to their jobs or subways or wherever their lives were taking them. After he left Stark Tower he went home and showered, letting the steaming water wash away the smell of alcohol and the lingering rejection he had felt on the drive home at Tony's obvious rebuff.
It was foolish of him to think Tony wouldn't be bothered by the fact that he had a child. It was one thing to tell him he had moved on with women. It was quite another to have living, walking proof of it. His lips curved at the thought of his son. He would have liked them to have met. He had the feeling they would have gotten along well.
But things don't always work out the way one planned.
He and Tony may not have ever discussed children, but Loki had always wanted a family and thought he would have had one with him. Obviously, Tony thought no such thing. Loki recalled the deer-in-headlights look Tony had on his face the second after Loki had said the word son. He should have known, with the kind of lifestyle he enjoyed, there was no way Tony Stark would ever want to be a family man.
So, once again, Loki resigned himself to moving on without Tony Stark.
He was sipping on some hot tea when Thane made his way through the maze of tables and took the seat across from him. "Hi. Thank you for coming."
"I'm surprised you called, if I'm honest." Thane unbuttoned his suit jacket and threw the lapels aside as he settled himself in the cushiony seat.
"I'm surprised you agreed to join me," Loki countered.
Thane's lips curved. "You said you had an answer. But I came for another reason." A waitress approached and Thane declined a drink, waiting for her to walk away before continuing. "I wanted to apologize."
"You wanted to apologize?" Loki's head tilted to the side. "What for?"
Thane chuckled. "For my behavior. I am really not sure what came over me. But I know that I should not have responded the way I did. And…I'm sorry."
Loki was silent for a moment as he soaked that in. "Apology accepted."
"Good," Thane said, his lips widening even more. "You bring out an interesting side in me, Loki. I'm not one prone to jealousy." Loki smiled and laughed softly. "Listen, sweetheart, I would love to have lunch with you, but I can't actually stay. I have a conference call with the London office in…" he stretched his arm to check his silver-plated Rolex, "about five minutes."
Loki sat up and forward. "Then why did you agree to come? I could have spoken to you at a more convenient time."
Thane grinned, and chuckled almost shyly. "I wanted to see you."
Loki shook his head with a grin. "Flattering, but, come, let's go. I wouldn't want you to get in trouble because of me."
Thane watched Loki rise and did the same. "You're not going to stay to eat?"
Loki dropped a twenty dollar bill down to the table to pay for his tea and held his hand out for Thane. "Not by myself, I'm not. I can grab something on the way back to the campus." Thane slipped his hand in Loki's and let him lead him out of the restaurant.
"Are you free tonight?" Thane asked once they were outside, releasing Loki's hand so he could re-button his jacket.
"Yes, my class is done at—oh, no." Loki interrupted himself. "I'm substituting an English class for one of my colleagues. It's from seven to ten. I'm sorry."
Thane didn't hide his disappointment very well. "That's all right. I was only going to take you out for drinks and dinner."
Loki grinned at the way Thane looked at his feet and shuffled them, like a young boy asking for a first date. "I have an idea." Loki moved closer, his hand sliding over Thane's hip to his back inside his jacket. "Why don't you come over to my place tomorrow night? I will make you dinner."
Thane looked impressed, his eyebrows lifting. "You cook?"
That constant smirk curved Loki's lips. "One of my many talents."
Thane smiled. "Six, okay?"
"Perfect."
Thane raised a hand to Loki's face, cupping his chin and pressed his mouth to his briefly. "See you then." He gave Loki's chin a short squeeze and slipped out of his arms. Loki watched him go with a small smile and waved goodbye before hailing a taxi.
The next night Thane had to work later than he had expected, due to a last minute filing. He called Loki to cancel, just in time, before Loki had begun preparing dinner. He was surprised when Loki told him to come over when he finished anyway. So he showed up with a medium supreme pizza, a six-pack of beer, and a bouquet of apology flowers.
Having already eaten Loki only nibbled on one piece, while Thane wolfed down more than half the pizza. They were sitting on the sofa, the television playing some nighttime soap neither of them were really paying any attention to, and Thane had just finished telling Loki about his latest case—at least as much as he could.
"How were your classes today?"
Loki pulled a hand through his barely chin-length jet black hair and settled back into the cushions of his hunter green sofa. "Fine. You know I always thought children would be more challenging as students. I never believed college students would be worse."
Thane rested his elbow on the top of the couch, leaning his head against it as he smiled at Loki. "Really? Are they obnoxious?"
Loki half-laughed, half-groaned and grimaced. "Yes, and so much more. But there are a few, I think, who may just make it worth the troublesome ones."
Thane made a noise in the back of his throat as he drank from his bottle of beer. "Should I be concerned about someone trying to earn an A by personally winning over the professor?" He laughed when Loki laughed hard enough to clutch at his stomach.
"I can assure you, no."
"Have you always wanted to be a teacher?"
Loki leaned his head back on the sofa, turning to look at Thane. "Not really. I enjoy it, but I sort of just…fell into it. I really wanted to be a writer. As most English majors do, I suppose."
"Do you? Write, I mean."
Loki grinned softly and sipped at the beer he was nursing. "I have, yes. I used to freelance for extra money while I was traveling. And I have done some of my own writing."
As he listened to Loki speak, Thane slid a finger through his raven hair, tucking the short strands behind his ear. He caressed the side of his neck with the backs of his fingers. "What do you write about?"
Loki angled his head both into the touch of Thane's fingers and away to give his fingers more room. "Journalistic fluff, really. I've written some short stories, some poetry…I suppose I write whatever comes to me, whatever flows from my pen."
"Could I read some of your work sometime?"
Loki's shoulders moved noncommittally. He was concentrating more on Thane's attention than his words. "Perhaps…someday…"
"So…" Thane shifted closer to Loki, one hand undoing two buttons of his dress shirt, and the other brushing Loki's hair from his neck. He tugged on the collar of his shirt to expose more of that translucent pale skin. "How exactly did you 'fall into' the teaching job?"
Loki took another, longer drink, well aware doing so would draw even more attention to the movement of his throat. "I was looking for some…adventure…I suppose."
Thane leaned forward and brushed his lips softly across Loki's neck. He felt Loki shiver and his tongue snaked out to trace a curved line up to his ear. "Are you still looking, Loki?" he asked seductively against his ear.
Loki's fingers, resting on the sofa between their legs, curled into the material of the sofa. "Uh…I…umm…"
Thane, keeping his mouth moving on Loki's neck, took the beer from Loki's other hand and, lifting his head now, moved to set it on the table before them. He returned to Loki, cupping his cheek to turn his face so he could plant his lips on his. Loki turned his body toward Thane and began to kiss him back. When Thane began to push Loki backward onto the sofa, Loki allowed him to, shifting so his body was flat beneath him. Thane's mouth moved down to his neck again, his hand moved down to his waist. The button up shirt was pulled out from the band of his dark slacks and Thane pressed his hand to the cool skin of his torso.
Loki closed his eyes, giving in to the stirring arousal blooming hot and low in his belly. He turned his head to let Thane get more access to his neck. When he opened his eyes, an image of Tony Stark was staring right back at him from the television in a news brief that was quickly gone. He turned his eyes away and pulled Thane's mouth to his kissing him with more fervor than before. And doing his damndest to not think about Tony.
Thane hummed in pleasure at Loki's enthusiasm and slipped his hand around Loki's thigh, caught between Thane's slim body and the sofa, lifting it to wrap his long leg around his waist. He pressed his hips into Loki's and felt the vibrations of Loki's moan against his chest. He shifted his long body to run his hand down Loki's body between them then cupped the growing bulge between his legs, began to massage him through his pants, and brought his mouth back to Loki's swollen lips.
Loki struggled. He tried to concentrate on Thane's attention while not thinking of Tony. Then Thane was using his knee to spread his legs and he could feel the other's erection press against his own and moaned again. He withdrew from Thane a little when he realized he was picturing Tony on top of him and his thoughts started to drift back to the last time he was with Tony…
And he began to feel uncomfortable. Thane's hand was on him, massaging him, and he was kissing him again, more roughly this time. "…Thane…" he mumbled under Thane's lips.
"Mmm, Loki…you feel so good."
Loki felt an odd chill at the echo of Tony's words from that long ago night and slid his hands to Thane's chest, applying light pressure, but he couldn't move his mouth from Thane's very aggressive lips. "Thane, stop. Please…"
Thane moaned, ignoring Loki, and his hand tightened around Loki's rapidly fading arousal.
"Thane." Feeling something like panic rising, Loki tried to twist his hips away, but Thane's body was too heavy. He pushed harder at his chest. "Thane, stop. Stop!" He shoved him hard now, away from him, and bolted up into a sitting position.
Thane stared wide-eyed at Loki for a long beat before falling back on his knees, his breath coming in heavy pants. He moved his legs to plant his feet on the floor and sat correctly on the sofa. "Have I misread something?"
Loki dropped his head in his hands. "No. That was my fault. I'm sorry."
Thane rubbed a hand over his face then pressed his hand against a sore spot on his chest. "What is it you're apologizing for, Loki? Breaking up a nice moment or pushing me so hard you've probably left a bruise?"
Loki leaned back to button up his pants. "Both. I should have said something before. I didn't know things between us were headed…here."
Thane surprised Loki by chuckling. "Loki, you invited me to your home in the late evening. Where did you think we were headed?"
"I know. It's just…" he hesitated before admitting, "Thane, I haven't been…intimate with anyone in quite some time."
Thane studied him silently for a moment then sat forward. "What do you mean by 'anyone'? Are you not…strictly gay?"
Loki fought the urge to roll his eyes at how many times he had been asked that question, or a similar one, in his lifetime. "I don't put that label on myself. I have been with men and women—in relationships and liaisons. I've just not been with a man, in either capacity, in the last nine years."
"Why? What happened nine years ago?"
Loki lowered his gaze, glancing briefly at the television again. "I ended a relationship with someone I cared about very much."
"A man?" Loki nodded. "Who?"
His black eyebrows drew together as he looked at Thane. "Is that important for you to know?"
"No," Thane answered simply, pursing his lips. "I'm just curious. Was it very serious?"
"Yes."
"How serious? Were you together a long time? Did you talk marriage?"
"Thane."
Thane shrugged, holding up his hands in an 'I'm innocent' gesture. "I'm just trying to understand what's going on, Loki."
"I know you are; I'm sorry. I should have explained before we moved in that direction."
"Why don't you just tell me now?"
He glanced at the television again, a more irritable expression contorting his face this time. "We were together for over three years. We lived together for the majority of that time."
Thane frowned. "Your first?"
Loki rigidly shook his head. He wasn't sure why talking about this at this moment was making him so angry. "He was my first love, yes. But not the first man, or person, I had ever been with."
Thane inhaled, slowly exhaled and laced his fingers together. "Is this something you're still hung up on? Am I wasting my time pursuing something more with you?"
"It's been almost a decade, Thane. It's over," he said softly, lowering his eyes again. "I have been with others since."
"Just not with any men," Thane pointed out. Loki said nothing, shook his head. After a moment of tense silence, Thane spoke again. "Look, Loki, I have already told you that I like you—very much. I am willing to go slow, if that is what you want. But I need to know that it is what you want. I don't want to make the effort if you aren't interested."
"I went on the first date to please Thor—and to shut him up. But I would not have accepted a second date with you if I wasn't interested, Thane." The darker man frowned and Loki shrugged. "You wanted honesty."
Thane nodded. "Quite right." He stood and held out his hand to Loki, who took it and let him pull him to his feet. Thane cupped his chin and placed a soft, short, chaste kiss on his lips. "Call me when you're ready, yes?"
Loki nodded. "Thank you for understanding. And again I am sorry—"
"Stop apologizing, sweetheart," Thane said with a smile and quiet laugh. "We all have that one person who sneaks up on us once in awhile. It just takes someone new—and better, I'm hoping in my case—to help us get past that." He kissed him once again and moved to leave. "I'll see myself out."
Loki waited until the door closed behind Thane before he fell to the sofa again. Irritation was simmering beneath his calm surface as he thought of Tony and his and Thane's ruined night. His thoughts were interrupted when the same news brief flashed Tony's image across his television screen again. His eyes flicked to the clock on the cable box beneath the TV and he stood, turning off the television before snatching up his keys from the kitchen counter as he left his apartment.
Tony was trying to surround himself with his toys in his lab. But it wasn't working. He was in a bit of a sour mood. After all of his efforts, the deal with Japan had fallen through; they chose to go with a clean energy competitor—the competitor, he mentally corrected—Justin Hammer, whose work Tony was only too familiar with. It was less than stellar, almost a cheap knockoff of his own work—cheap being the operative word.
He was absently bouncing his head along to AC/DC's Highway to Hell, staring into space, when the music was suddenly lowered. Tony snapped to attention. "I don't remember telling you to do that, Jarvis."
"My apologies, sir. But you have a visitor."
Tony's nose scrunched. "What time is it?"
"Half-past ten, sir."
He groaned softly and leaned forward to bury his face in his arms, folded together on one of his cluttered worktables. "Who is it?"
"Mr. Odinson."
Tony lifted his head, frowning. He figured after Loki had left the tower without a word the day before that that was the end of whatever had started. Or that he had tried to start. "Let him up. I'll meet him in the lounge."
"Yes, sir."
Tony stood and looked around his worktables for something, anything, to keep his hands busy. He couldn't find anything so he just went to the elevator. His hands clapped together, his fingers snapped incessantly, as he rode up to the lounge. He stepped into the large, open space and headed straight for the bar. He was pouring himself a scotch when the elevator dinged and he heard the doors slide open. His stayed with his back to it as he replaced the decanter to its spot on the shelf.
"A little late for you on a school night, isn't it, professor?"
"I've no classes on Fridays," came the answer.
Tony chuckled once as he sipped. "Smart." He turned, glanced up, and the grin on his lips vanished. Loki stood, just outside the elevator, with a dark glare on his face. Tony raised an eyebrow. "What's your problem?"
"Well, since you asked…" He stepped further into the room. "I've just come from an unsatisfactory ending to my evening with Thane."
Tony scoffed and set his glass on the bar counter. "What's that got to do with me?"
"Everything."
Already on edge, Tony could feel his temper rising because this wasn't what he had expected when he heard Loki was at his door. "What are you talking about? What the hell did I do?"
"You kissed me."
Tony waited for more but Loki didn't continue. He angled his head slightly. "…And…?"
Loki huffed out a breath and stomped forward. "You had no business doing that, Anthony."
Tony's shoulder's lifted and fell. "I don't remember you fighting me off."
Loki blanched, blinking as his head jerked back. "I—I was taken by surprise."
Tony brought his glass to his lips and sipped. "Uh-huh. And the night of Steve's party. Were you taken by surprise when you asked me to kiss you?"
Loki's jaw clenched. "That was a lapse in judgment on my part. You started the whole thing by kissing me first. You were fully aware I was seeing Thane, and yet, you still made an advance on me."
"If you're looking for an apology, you're going to be disappointed."
"Anthony—"
"And how exactly did I have an effect on your date with Thad?"
"I couldn't…" Loki's words choked off and Tony stared at him. It took Tony a moment but soon realization dawned and he chuckled, stepping around the bar.
"Oh, I get it. You were trying to get it on with your little British boyfriend. And you couldn't stop thinking about me?" Tony stopped in front of Loki grinning widely.
"He is not my boyfriend," Loki said through gritted teeth.
Tony hummed smugly because Loki didn't deny his accusation. "Then you're welcome."
"This is not a joke!" Loki shouted prompting Tony to take a step back.
"I dunno. Seems a little funny to me."
Loki surged forward again until Tony stumbled into a stool at the bar. "Could you be serious for more than five seconds, please?"
"Screw you, Loki."
Loki reared back. "I beg your pardon?"
Tony straightened up from the stool. "You didn't come all the way to my tower at ten-thirty at night just to lecture me. You could have said all of this in a text or maybe even a phone call." Loki said nothing, but his eyes stayed on Tony's. "What did you really come here for?"
Loki took a deep breath. "To give you the respect of telling you to your face that whatever has transpired between us since my return…means nothing."
Tony huffed out a breath and turned his back to Loki. He swiped up the glass of scotch and drank it all down in one swallow. Once again, Loki was able to sideswipe him.
"We clearly have not gotten past our issues, Anthony," Loki said softly from behind him.
Tony spun around. "You haven't given us a chance to fix them!"
Loki grimaced. "Me? You are the one that panicked the moment I mentioned I had a child."
"You panicked the minute you saw me. You don't give a shit about that guy. I can see it; I can tell, Loki. You're just using him to try and get over me."
"That is not true!" Loki moved forward again. "And how dare you presume to know the meaning behind my actions. I've lived ten years without you, Anthony. It wasn't always easy but I survived it."
"By having a kid with someone else! Bravo!"
Loki was practically seething. "That was not expected, I grant you. But you have just made the point I was going to make."
"What?"
Loki took a moment to calm himself. "I cannot just think of myself anymore. I cannot be spontaneous and reckless and impulsive. Every decision I make can affect him. If I am going to be with someone, share my life with someone, they will be in his life, too. And I need that person to be…stable."
Tony raised his chin. "And you're saying I'm unstable."
Loki inhaled slowly. "I am saying that your life now, after me, does not seem very different from before I was in it."
Tony's jaw dropped. He literally felt like Loki had just punched him in the gut.
"Aside from the more elaborate living space and a larger laboratory, you still keep odd hours. You survive on caffeine and alcohol, and have reverted to using sex as a pastime."
"I get it," Tony said gruffly, fighting tears. "I'm no role model." Loki sighed and brought a hand to his face. "Can I just—" Tony cleared his throat, swiped a thumb across his nose. "Can I just remind you that there was a time I did keep a regular schedule, and I ate really awesome healthy food, and I used sex to show my partner how much I loved him? Do you remember that?"
Loki seemed to be fighting some emotion himself. "I remember," he answered softly.
"Good," Tony said forcefully, drawing Loki's surprised gaze. "Then you should also remember that all of that changed because you chose to end it."
Loki's eyebrows came together and he looked forlornly at Tony. "Anthony, I did not come here to fight with you."
"That's too fucking bad then, isn't it?" He said through his teeth, stepping up to Loki, getting in his face. Loki threw up his hands and faltered back.
"Anthony—"
"Stop playing the cool, calm collected one, Loki!" he shouted in the taller man's face. "I've seen you lose your shit, remember?"
Loki grunted softly, and turned his green eyes on him, boring into his chocolate brown ones. "Stop it, Anthony."
"No! I didn't go looking for you, Loki. You came to me."
Loki nodded. "Then I will leave."
"What else is new?"
Loki stared, unmoving, at Tony for a moment before shaking his head and entering the opened elevator.
"Tell your boyfriend I said hi."
Loki's glistening eyes met Tony's just as the elevator doors slid closed. Once they had, Tony allowed his emotions to take over and he fell to the floor where he stood and completely broke down.
