IV
Give Up the Ghost
After meeting up with Williams and Alenko in the markets, and introducing them to Tali, Shepard and her ensemble made their way back to the human embassy. It was a short but cautious journey. Shepard wasn't sure if Saren had any more men on the Citadel that would go after Tali, and whether they were brave or stupid enough to go against three marines, a C-Sec officer and a krogan to get to her. It didn't seem likely, but she didn't want to take any chances, so as they walked to the nearest rapid transit hub, they surrounded the quarian with Wrex leading, his massive frame buffeting the crowds away from the group.
Shepard was in conversation with Tali, filling her in on what had happened on Eden Prime, but eventually the topic dried up, so Shepard tried a little small talk.
"You ever had a bunch of bad-ass bodyguards before?" She asked, coaxing a chuckle from the quarian.
"No, I feel very important right now."
Once they had left the skycars behind on the Presidium and were within sight of the safety of the embassy, Shepard gave a mischievous grin to Tali.
"Make way! Make way, please. Very important person coming through!" She shouted out, at the top of her voice.
The fact that there were very few people in between the group and the embassy was not lost on the quarian, making it all the funnier despite Shepard's booming voice startling her a little. She chuckled again, drawing another grin from Shepard.
"You're not making my life any easier, Shepard," Udina complained as the commander and her team arrived in his office. Anderson had been seated at a desk reading a datapad, but stood up when Shepard entered. "Fistfights, fire-fights, a trail of dead bodies. It'll take months to sort through all the paperwork. And now you've brought a krogan, a turian, and a quarian into my office? Just what are you up to, Shepard?"
"For fuck's sake. If you'd stow your tongue for half a second, I'd be able to tell you," Shepard answered. "This is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, and we believe she has evidence linking Saren to the geth. We got to her, and got her here, with help from Garrus and Wrex."
"I see," Udina murmured. "We don't see many quarians on the Citadel. Why did you leave the flotilla?"
"I'm on my pilgrimage. It's a rite of passage into adulthood," Tali replied.
"Wait, so you're not an adult?" Shepard asked.
"Technically, I am, but I am not seen as such by my people until I return to the fleet with something of value."
"Technically? Tali, how old are you?"
"I am 27."
"Is that in Earth years or…?"
"Rannoch years. By Earth years, I think am… 17, more or less."
"Jesus Christ," Shepard said, shaking her head. "Far be it from me to judge the practices of your people, I suppose. So what's this evidence you have, then?"
"During my travels I began hearing reports of geth," Tali began. "Ever since they drove my people into exile, the geth have never ventured beyond the veil, so obviously I was curious. I tracked a patrol of geth to an uncharted world and waited for one to become separated from its unit. I then disabled it and removed its memory core."
"How did you manage to preserve the memory core?" Anderson asked. "I thought the geth fried them when they died, some kind of defence mechanism."
"My people created the geth," Tali disclosed. "We know everything there is to know about them, and we learn how to fight them and gain information from them. If you're quick, careful, and lucky, small caches of data can sometimes be saved. There wasn't much to take, but I salvaged something from its audio banks." At this, Tali brought up her omni-tool, and a voice recording started to play.
"Eden Prime was a major victory. The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit."
"That's Saren's voice!" Captain Anderson enthused. "This proves he was involved in the attack!"
"What's he talking about, though?" Shepard queried. "The Conduit? What is that?"
"It must be Prothean technology connected to the beacon in some way," Anderson surmised. "Maybe a weapon of some kind."
"Wait, there's more," Tali interrupted. "Saren wasn't working alone." She played the file again, Saren's voice repeated, but was followed by another, a female one.
"And one step closer to the return of the Reapers."
"I don't recognise that other voice," Udina admitted, "the one talking about the… Shepard?"
He had noticed Shepard, who was rubbing her temple with her fingers, her head inclined and her eyes closed tightly.
"Reapers… Reapers…" she was muttering under her breath.
"Shepard, are you okay?" Anderson asked as he stepped toward her.
"Yeah, I've heard that word before… or at least I think I have," she replied, in a whisper so only he could hear. "It has something to do with the vision the beacon gave me."
"She's fine," Anderson turned around and said to the group. The humans seemed concerned, but Tali's visor didn't give anything away, and Wrex was merely leaning against the wall near the door, looking almost bored. "Miss Zorah, do you know anything about these 'Reapers?'" Anderson asked.
"A-according to the memory core," Tali began, her voice sounding a little worried, "the Reapers were a hyper-advanced machine race that existed fifty thousand years ago. The geth believe these Reapers hunted the Protheans to total extinction, and then vanished."
"Anderson," Shepard whispered, as Udina mentioned the farfetchedness of what the quarian had just told them. "The vision, it was the Protheans being wiped out by the Reapers."
"You sure?"
"I'm certain."
Anderson's eyes narrowed to mere slits as he surveyed Shepard's face.
"The geth revere the Reapers as gods," Tali's voice chimed in from behind Anderson, "the pinnacle of non-organic life. And they believe Saren knows how to bring the Reapers back."
"The Council is not going to like this," Udina moaned.
"We'll them that we stop Saren, we stop the Reapers," Shepard piped up, stepping forward.
"I agree," Anderson said. "They need to know, but no matter what they think about the rest of this, those audio files prove Saren's a traitor."
"Yes," Udina agreed. "We need to present this to the Council immediately."
Udina had taken the recording of Saren's voice from Tali and had presented it to the Council, again in the Council Chambers. The turian Councillor had been the first to reply once it had finished, claiming it could be false, doctored. They then all agreed it should be verified by a team of C-Sec tech experts.
Conversation had quickly become boring while Udina, Anderson, Shepard, and her team waited for the verdict on one of the lower levels of the chambers. Everyone, apart from Wrex, was introspectively wondering and worrying, though they were confident the recording was genuine. Tali seemed incredibly nervous, but Shepard reassured her with a hand on her shoulder and a warm smile.
"I-I won't have to speak, will I?" The quarian asked as she wrung her hands.
"Not if you don't want to," Shepard replied. "Besides, Udina seems to love the sound of his own voice enough that I'm sure you won't have to."
"You don't seem to like that man very much."
"He's a… bosh'tet, was it?" Shepard said with a smile, and Tali giggled. "But he's on our side, which is very much the right side to be on, as far as I'm concerned. He's got that going for him, at least."
They were called back to the petitioner's stage after about an hour, Sparatus, the turian Councillor, spoke up first.
"The recording was confirmed to be genuine," he started, though he sounded crestfallen. "The evidence is irrefutable. Saren will be stripped of his Spectre status."
Shepard, without turning around, presented an upturned hand to whoever was behind her, and felt someone slap it in celebration.
"Now that we know this recording is genuine," the asari Councillor, Tevos, started, "I feel it is incumbent upon me to reveal the identity of the second voice. It is Matriarch Benezia. She is a powerful biotic who has many followers. She would be a formidable ally for anyone, none more so than Saren."
"I'm interested in these 'Reapers,'" said the salarian Councillor, Valern. "What do you know of them?"
"Only what was extracted from the geth's memory core," Anderson replied.
As Anderson relayed Tali's explanation of the Reapers to the Council, and what Saren might want with the Conduit, Shepard turned her head to the quarian, flashed another smile and winked.
"Do we even know what this Conduit is?" Valern asked as Shepard's attention turned back to the Council.
"It could be anything," Shepard said. "But if Saren thinks it can bring back the Reapers, we need to stop him."
"Listen to what you're saying!" Sparatus spat, disdainfully. "Saren wants to bring back machines that wiped out all life in the galaxy? Impossible! It has to be. Where did the Reapers go? Why did they vanish? How come we've found no trace of their existence? If they were real, we'd have found something!"
"The Reapers are obviously just a myth. A–"
"'Obviously?'" Shepard interjected, a look of clear frustration on her face. "Obvious to whom? It was obvious to us that Saren was a fucking traitor, but your heads were so far up his ass you couldn't see the murderer for the Spectre. Now they're free from Saren's stinkhole, your necks are being strangled by your very own sphincters, and you aren't even entertaining the possibility that these Reapers are real. Obviously, our definitions of 'obviously' aren't the same!"
Another Shepard-made quell in debate rang through the hall, punctuated by gasps and muttering from the small but growing audience who spanned the balconies at the sides of the chamber.
"It seems to me that the Reapers are a legend Saren is using to bend the geth to his will," Valern said, rather austerely.
"Yes. This is different, Commander," Tevos said bitterly, her mouth nothing but a pencil-thin line when she wasn't talking. "You proved Saren betrayed the Council. We all agree he's using the geth to search for the Conduit, but we have no evidence that this Conduit involves these Reapers."
"Fine. Disagree with me all you want," Shepard said, "that doesn't stop the fact that Saren and this Conduit are dangerous. He needs to be stopped."
"Saren is a rogue Spectre on the run for his life," Sparatus began. "He no longer has the rights or resources of a Spectre. The Council has stripped him of his position."
"That is not good enough!" Udina bellowed.
"Are you trying to protect him, Councillor?" Shepard asked with a raised voice. "You seemed pretty upset after our evidence against him was confirmed. Saren needs to answer for his crimes! For all the lives lost on Eden Prime. For Nihlus, even!"
"There is no proof Saren killed Nih–"
"You're doing it again!" Shepard interrupted once more. "Stop making excuses for him! He was on Eden Prime, his execution of Nihlus was witnessed first-hand."
"You know he's hiding somewhere in the Traverse," Udina said. "Send your fleet in!"
"A fleet cannot track one man," stated Valern.
"A Citadel fleet could secure the entire region," Udina offered. "Keep the geth from attacking any more of our colonies."
"Or it could trigger a war with the Terminus Systems!" Sparatus spoke. "We won't be dragged into a galactic confrontation over a few dozen human colonies," he added, with a dismissive wave of his hand.
"Then I'll go. On my own, if I have to," Shepard said. "I'll find the prick and hang him from the rafters by his bollocks."
"Despite her colourful language, the Commander is right," Tevos agreed. "There is a way to stop Saren that doesn't require fleets or armies," she said, more to her fellow councillors than to anyone else.
"No!" Sparatus spat. "It's too soon. Humanity is not ready for the responsibilities that come with joining the Spectres."
"You sound just like Saren!" Shepard shouted, looking as if she was about to jump the chasm that separated her from the Council. "I've earned this and you know it!" She shook her head. "I want my 'best weapons,' for fuck's sake," she added under her breath. Williams and Alenko looked at each and smiled, stifling laughter.
Sparatus and Tevos shared a look, with Valern watching. Sparatus looked away, inclining his head, then nodded. The three then simultaneously tapped away at the terminals standing in front of them.
"Commander Shepard. Step forward," Tevos said.
Shepard shared a look with Anderson, who then nodded, a brief glimmer of a smile forming on the Captain's otherwise stoic face. Shepard then stepped forward, almost to the edge of the stage. As she did so, the muttering of the audience grew a little louder, some people running about, some on omni-tools typing messages, some clearly holding them up to capture footage of what was about to happen. There was movement all around, footsteps on the stairs behind Shepard, a continued murmuring that fell silent the moment Tevos spoke once more.
"It is the decision of the Council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel."
"Spectres are not trained, but chosen," Valern began. "Individuals forged in the fire of service and battle. Those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file."
"Spectres are an ideal, a symbol," Tevos again. "The embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the Council, instruments of our will."
"Spectres bear a great burden," now Sparatus. "They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defence. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold."
"You are the first human Spectre, Commander," Tevos said. "This is a great accomplishment for you and your entire species."
Shepard bowed her head, though she didn't trust herself to say anything. Her heart was beating fast, her breathing a little shallow, though controlled. She never thought this would affect her so.
Once the meeting had adjourned and the Councillors had disappeared, a lone voice shouted 'woo, Shepard' from the balconies and then a polite smattering of applause started, which eventually died out to the excited muttering of a crowd, along with shuffled footsteps as they dispersed. Anderson had mentioned a Spectre office on the Presidium during the applause, and that he and Udina were going to set something up. With a proud pat on Shepard's shoulder, Anderson turned and followed Udina toward the hall's exit.
Shepard only had one thing on her mind as she turned to Williams and Alenko.
"Let's go get me my 'best weapons,'" she said with a wide-eyed and toothy grin.
Garrus had returned to his apartment on the Citadel, thanking Shepard for helping him and giving her his contact details for if she were ever on the Citadel again. He also made mention that C-Sec had started rounding up any known associates of Saren on the station, mainly for interrogation, just in case they were still working for him. Wrex did much the same as Garrus, though he mentioned he was going to find a barrel of ryncol to jump into. Tali was still with the group, having nowhere to really go, and Shepard reassured her they'd help her out once they had the time.
Shepard found herself alone in the Spectre office, her companions not allowed in. Monitors displaying news from all over the galaxy lined the corridor that led to a room with a large terminal set into a wall, and to her right, through a window, she could see a large firing range.
Shepard stepped toward the terminal and it flashed on at her proximity.
"Calista Marie Shepard. Spectre status recognised," chimed a computerised voice.
After closing a welcome message she scanned briefly, she found the menu option she was looking for: requisitions. Hundreds of options popped up on the screen, from armour to armour upgrades, visors, helmets, face masks, omni-tools and their upgrades, biotic amps, specialised ammunition, weapon mods, shield generators, and many more. Eventually, she found the option she wanted, though she knew she would go back to the others. She tapped the screen where it said weapons, then assault rifles, and had to take a step back. The list was huge, seemingly endless. Rifles of all shapes, sizes, colours and variations.
However, it wasn't the weapons themselves that drew her eye, instead the terminal was now displaying her credit balance in the top left corner.
"Damn. Those fuckers work fast," Shepard said to herself. It was more credits than she'd ever had in her life. Not a ridiculous amount, but more than enough. Much more.
She selected a few different rifles and purchased them, revelling in the fact that her balance barely took a hit. After buying a few more items, some sniper rifles, shotguns, pistols and submachine guns, a few disparate weapon mods, some omni-tools, a bunch of new shield generators that were more powerful than the Alliance standard, and a visor, she stepped away from the terminal, and it shut itself off.
"Holy fucking shit," she announced to the waiting group as she left the Spectre office.
"Well," spoke Williams, "are you rich? What did you buy?"
"Oh no," Shepard said, shaking her head and smiling widely. "You're just going to have to wait and see. Everything's being delivered to the Normandy. Come on, let's go. I want to see the look on Grieco's face as he unloads it all. He's going to shit."
As Shepard, along with her group, made her way to the docking bay where the Normandy was docked, she was suddenly flooded with mixed emotions. Now she was a Spectre, she didn't know what was going to happen. She thought she would probably be saying goodbye to everyone soon, with Anderson going off with the Normandy. Udina mentioned she'd need her own ship and crew now, and while that prospect excited her, she had felt at home on the Normandy in only the few days she was aboard her, and one of them was spent almost comatose. She was probably going to have to say goodbye to Williams and Alenko, too. The three had struck up a rapport quickly, not only as a friends, but as a squad. She was sad her relationship with the Normandy would be nothing more than a dalliance.
As they finally got to the docking bay, Shepard smiled to herself as she saw a bunch of crates being loaded onto the Normandy via its cargo bay. She gestured toward them and whispered to Alenko. "New toys!"
Tali had almost sprinted to the railing of the walkway to look at the Normandy. She walked up and down the length of it, her head bobbing up and down as she took in as much of it as she could. Shepard couldn't help but be reminded of herself as she watched the enthusiastic quarian hanging around near the doors to the cargo bay of the ship and peering into it, looking desperate to step aboard.
Her attention was then turned to Udina and Anderson, who had just appeared from the docking tunnel that connected the Normandy to the walkway.
"Ah, Shepard, you're here," Udina announced as he spotted the commander. "We have some big news. Captain Anderson has just been saying goodbye to the crew. He's stepping down as commanding officer of the Normandy. The ship is now yours."
Shepard turned to Anderson, wide-eyed and confused. "Captain?"
"She's quick and quiet and you know the crew. Perfect ship for a Spectre, and I know how much you love her. I couldn't possibly tear you away from her," Anderson added with a wry smile.
"No… this…" Shepard stuttered. "The Normandy is your ship, Captain."
"Nonsense. She was yours the minute you stepped aboard, we just didn't know it yet. It's perfect for you, fits you like a glove, and there's no one in the Alliance who'd know how to use it better than you. That was apparent before, but now you're a Spectre, it's even more obvious," Anderson said, almost sternly, as if reprimanding Shepard.
"I-I… I don't know what to say," Shepard stammered.
"There's a first time for everything, I suppose," Anderson said, with the tiniest hint of a grin. "Just promise me you'll do me proud."
"I-I will, sir," she said, and saluted.
"We've had reports of geth in the Attican Beta cluster," Udina began. "Chances are they're there looking for the Conduit. It might be a good place to start."
"Investigate the cluster," Anderson said, "find out what Saren is after, and maybe you can figure out where the Conduit is before he can."
We stop Saren, we stop the Reapers, Shepard told herself. She knew what the real threat was, she was certain the Reapers were real, but she was reticent to display her belief any more than she had. She was tired of people doubting her instincts, and after Saren, she was no longer going to doubt them herself.
"We have one more lead," spoke Udina. "Matriarch Benezia has a daughter. She's a scientist who specialises in the Protheans. We're not certain that she's involved with Saren and Benezia's search for the Conduit, but we can't rule it out. However, seeing as she's a Prothean expert, and as far as we can tell, the Conduit is Prothean, her knowledge might help in our search. Her name is Liara. Dr Liara T'Soni. All we know of her location is that she is somewhere in the Artemis Tau cluster on an archaeological dig on one of its worlds."
"I think we should start nice and easy, get us up and running. We'll find this doctor first, then we'll go after the geth," Shepard said.
"Sounds good, but it's your decision, Shepard," Anderson said. "We'll advise you best we can from the Citadel, but you don't answer to us any more."
"I have a meeting to get to," Udina said. "I will speak to you later, Anderson." With that he left the docking bay.
"Well, my posting as your XO didn't last long, did it?" Shepard said to Anderson.
"I can think of worse ways to relinquish my command. This is a damn good thing, Shepard. If anything, you having your own command and your own ship is overdue."
"Thank you, Captain. That means a lot coming from you."
"Don't go getting soppy on me, Shepard," the captain warned with a smirk. "Right then, I'll leave you to your ship."
"Captain," Shepard said before Anderson could take a step. "My first act as commanding officer of the Normandy is going to be announcing a night of shore leave. Come for a drink and a proper Alliance send off. We'll be at Flux at 2100."
Anderson smiled and nodded. "I'll be there. First round's on you."
Shepard had filled Tali in on the happenings on the docking bay, seeing as she was too busy on the other end of the bay looking at the Normandy to listen, and had let the quarian aboard the ship as a guest to view the inside. Shepard announced shore leave, telling the crew to meet at Flux at 2100 if they wanted, for Anderson's send off, but cautioning them that it was just one night and not to get too crazy, as they were starting out early tomorrow. The quarian seemed nervous as Shepard took her around the CIC, some of the crew yet to leave eyeing her suspiciously without Shepard noticing.
Williams and Alenko had gone off to get changed, with Williams moaning about her dress blues chafing her. Alenko said his were fine, but then Williams pointed out he didn't have breasts. Shepard disagreed.
The commander had been awake for over twenty four hours now, with the last few of them spent running around the Citadel, so she collapsed on her bed in her new quarters, what only a few hours ago had been Anderson's room. She had left Tali on the engineering deck speaking to Engineer Adams about the drive core.
After what seemed like only a second, but was in actual fact an hour, the door to her room chimed. Shepard woke and pushed herself off the bed, strode over to the terminal and pushed the button to open the door. Ashley walked in, now dressed in her BDUs, her hair now down around her shoulders.
"Commander, are we going shopping?" Williams asked, as Shepard stretched and yawned. "Sorry, did I wake you?"
"Yeah, I was just having a nap. I'm all sweaty now," she said, tugging at the front of her dress blues, pulling them away from her sticky and damp skin. "I feel disgusting. Let me go have a shower and get changed and I'll meet you by the airlock in about twenty minutes. Oh, and get Tali, we'll take her with."
After showering and slipping into casual wear that consisted of a black t-shirt with an N7 sigil on the right breast, tight bell-bottom jeans, some black boots and a jacket, Shepard met Williams and Tali near the bridge of the ship.
"Joker sleeping, Gunny?" Shepard asked as she noticed the empty pilot's seat.
"Yeah…" Williams answered. "You do scrub up well, you know, Commander. I'm glad you're coming along, I could do with some fashion tips."
"What? I just throw all this crap on," Shepard replied.
"Yeah, right," Williams said as she rolled her eyes. Tali sighed.
"You all right, Tali?" Shepard asked.
"I… I am fine. Are we going to get going, then?" The quarian answered as she made for the door to the airlock.
Shepard and Williams traded a guilty look. It had been rather insensitive to stand in front of a quarian talking about clothes. Though quarians could, and did, customise the look of their enviro-suits, it was still no real substitute for being able to wear whatever they wanted. Not only that, but it emphasised the fact they were trapped inside their suits, a constant barrier between them and the world, a constant reminder of the mistakes of their ancestors, mistakes they were paying for dearly.
Tali had perked up by the time they got to the markets on the Presidium, though Shepard was still a little wary about how safe the quarian was. The damage had been done to Saren, and his associates on the Citadel were in C-Sec custody, so she didn't feel the need to be as cautious as she had done earlier, but she still kept herself on edge, ready to get in the line of fire. Her M-3 Predator pistol was on her hip under her jacket, her shield generator was on, and she kept Tali in her sight at all times.
The three noticed the odd stare from people of any and all species as they walked past. Shepard thought, at first, they were looking at the group as a whole; two human women with a quarian girl going shopping wasn't exactly a normal sight, but not the kind of thing that should draw such ogling. Eventually it clicked for Shepard - the stares were directed at her. Soon enough, and confirming her suspicions, Shepard saw a news monitor on a wall showing a grainy vid of her Spectre induction ceremony, along with a picture of her younger self from not long after the Blitz, with the Star of Terra draped around her neck. It was playing on a loop with other news pieces, and whenever it came on, she could hear whoops and hollers from human voices.
They had found a ship dealer in a small nook of the markets, and Tali was happily chatting away to the volus salesman while Shepard and Williams kept an eye on her. Williams was sitting on a railing that overlooked a small garden while Shepard leant against it next to her.
"So, Ashley," Shepard said, her grin mischievous, "Alenko, then, eh?"
"What? What do you mean?" Williams replied, frowning.
"Come on, don't tell me you haven't noticed."
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Commander," Williams sternly said, her eyes closed.
"Hey, it's my ship now, and you're under my command. I think the rules on fraternisation are a little… frigid," she said with a laugh. "You're both adults, you're both professionals. Knock yourself out. Or each other."
Williams sat stoically for a little while, not giving any signs she had even heard Shepard, let alone acknowledged what she had said. After a few moments, she spoke up. "You ever been involved with someone in your crew, Skipper?"
Shepard sniffed with dry mirth. "I've never really been involved with anyone."
Williams snapped her head toward the commander. "Wait, are you telling me you're a virgin?"
"I wish! No. Nothing but drunken fumbles, one night stands, though. Stupid stuff. Young and horny. I just lost interest after the Blitz."
"The Blitz?" Williams said, her face a look of pure unbelieving. "But that was nearly… 7 years ago, Skipper. Please don't tell me it's been that long." Shepard merely shrugged. "Holy crap, Shepard. We gotta get you laid."
"Nuh-uh," Shepard replied, frowning. "I'm done with all that crap. It's just a distraction, even more so now that we're going after Saren."
"Oh, so you can play at Cupid for me, but I can't do the same for you?"
"Hey, we're Alliance. It's always been 'do as I say and not as I do.' Besides, if I wanted to, I could sort myself out."
"I bet you already do," Williams supplied, with a smirk even more mischievous than Shepard's earlier one.
Shepard grabbed Williams' shoulder and pulled it back over the railing, causing Williams to nearly fall backwards as she squealed and grabbed for a hold. Shepard laughed.
"I bet you're dying for Alenko to make you scream like that," she said as stepped out of arms reach in front of Ashley, away enough from incoming retribution.
Williams kicked at Shepard with a growl, causing Shepard to back away laughing, but bumped into Tali, who had been approaching the pair from behind the commander.
"Oh. Sorry, Tali," Shepard said, still laughing.
"Are all Systems Alliance soldiers like this or is it just you two?" The quarian asked. It was half a playful admonishment and half a genuine question.
"Hey," Williams said, jumping down off the railing and sounding slightly offended. "Don't drag me down with Shepard."
"Kicking and screaming, if I have to," replied Shepard. "Did they have anything, Tali?" She then asked the quarian, in reference to the ship dealer.
"Yes, but they're far too expensive," Tali replied, her head inclined toward the floor.
"How much are they?" Shepard asked, starting past Tali toward the dealership and pulling out her credit chit.
"What? No… Shepard…"
"What? If I can't buy my friend a gift, then what use is all this money?"
"Friend?" The word had caught Tali off-guard. "Shepard, no. I'm planting my heels. I will not accept it. I need to do this myself."
Shepard stopped and turned around to look at the quarian, who now stood with her arms crossed. "If you say so. Just don't say I never tried to help you," she said with a grin.
"I would never say that," Tali replied, sounding aggrieved. "You've done more for me today than anyone has in my entire life, and you still want to do more. Why?"
Shepard was taken aback. The quarian sounded genuinely confused, and a little sad, too. "Tali…"
"I don't understand. You called me a friend. Ever since I arrived on the Citadel, I've been ignored, turned away, insulted just for being a quarian, shot, betrayed and nearly killed," she sobbed, her every word sounding more despondent than the last. "Then you come along and… and… why are you doing this? Why are you being so nice to me?" Her visor betrayed nothing, but her body language and voice made it clear she was crying.
Shepard looked sickened and furious. To hear what the quarian had been through, and how she had been treated disgusted her. To hear the pain in her voice broke the commander's heart, and made her feel more angry than she had in a very long time.
"Maybe it's because I like you," Shepard answered with a growl. "Maybe because you've shown me no reason not to treat you with you anything but kindness, but I don't need a God damn reason, Tali." She stepped toward the girl and put her hands on her shoulders. "They're not worth it, cariño," she said, her voice much softer now. "There are two words I live by whenever someone treats me badly, and they've helped me through a lot of shit. Do you want to know what they are?" Tali nodded her head timidly. "'Fuck 'em.'"
Tali chuckled and sniffed, then took a deep stuttering breath.
"You okay, now? You understand?" The commander asked.
"Yes. Thank you, Shepard. I… I am sorry."
"Fuck that. No apologies. Come on. Let's go get the Queen of Sheba over there her clothes."
"Hey!" Ashley said, as Shepard put her arm around Tali and started walking.
Shepard arrived at Flux with Tali and Williams, fashionably late and with Williams wearing her newly acquired casual clothing. There was a cheer from a large section near the bar, with two dozen faces staring at them, glasses and arms raised. It was surprising to Shepard, she knew the Normandy was fully staffed, but she'd never seen the crew all together like this, and there was a lot of them. Anderson was there, and he was already a little drunk, much more than any of the crew, and much more than the commander had ever seen him. As Shepard reached the bar, Anderson announced that the drinks were on her, to another loud cheer. The volus behind the bar laughed heartily.
Shepard abstained from drinking herself, though it took some effort. She wouldn't admit it to anyone, but she felt a lot of weight on her shoulders, and she'd been bearing the strain since just before arriving at Eden Prime. A drink would just take the edge off, but she didn't want to risk lowered inhibitions that could lead to more drink. Thankfully, and to their credit, none of the crew pressured her.
She took in all the happy faces of her new crew, seeing some she hadn't seen before, and finding out that there wasn't just a single Ensign Draven, but two, and that they were identical twins. She spent some time talking to the two girls, admitting to their delight that she hadn't noticed they were two different people, and joking that she'd make one of them shave their heads so she could tell them apart.
Shepard also noticed a young woman sitting at a table with some of the crew, but not engaging in any of the conversation, slowly sipping on a cocktail. She approached her and asked her name, which was Monica Negulesco, and recognised her as one of the command deck technicians. At first the woman was shy, but she eventually opened up, proudly explaining that her surname was Romanian. They were joined by Private Jenkins, who, in his slightly inebriated form, apologised profusely to Shepard for, in his words, 'being a fucking pervert,' referring to the time the commander had caught him looking at her as she changed into her hard-suit. Shepard laughed and accepted the apology and after a few minutes of light-hearted conversation between the three, she excused herself from the table, and turned around to see Jenkins say something into Negulesco's ear, who laughed loudly at it.
Tali was sitting at a table, engaged in an enthusiastic conversation with Engineer Adams and Joker, and Williams and Alenko were stood at the bar, with Williams lightly touching Alenko's shoulder every now and then. Shepard merely stood back, leaning against the wall at the end of the bar, watching the crew, allowing them to be carefree. After a while, Dr Chakwas walked over to her and handed her a drink.
"Don't worry," she said as Shepard eyed the drink. "It's non-alcoholic. I've noticed you've not been drinking, but you can at least quench your thirst." Shepard took a sip, and nodded thanks to the doctor. "How have you been? The visions haven't been giving you any bother, have they?"
"You know about the visions?"
"Anderson told me. As the ship's Doctor, don't you think that kind of information is important for me to know?"
"Yeah, you're right. Sorry. And no, I've been fine. Back to normal, now."
"That's good. Just keep me up to date," she said as she leaned her back against the wall next to Shepard. "So why are you over here on your own?"
Shepard sighed. "I'm just not really feeling it. We're about to step in the shit, I know it. But they don't need to know," she said, gesturing to the crew. "Not at the moment, anyway." The doctor didn't reply, merely letting the commander speak. "The worst thing about it, though, is that I'm now responsible for all their lives." Shepard shook her head and laughed drily. "They don't know how utterly fucked they are."
