A/N Here we are, epilogue time.
The flight schedule gives them 36 more hours to spend together. Once everything that needed to be said has been clarified, they get back into their bubble, enjoying every moment fully.
The drive to the airport is mostly quiet. Separation is imminent, it's not the time for small talk.
They sit on a bench in the terminal, waiting for his flight to be called.
He holds her tight and lets her lean on his shoulder, and feels her breathing get more and more irregular, as she tries to hold back tears. He makes an attempt to say something to lift her mood, he really wants to see her smile and hear her laugh before he leaves, because he doesn't trust himself to really get on that plane if he has the tiniest doubt he's leaving her alone while she's in a bad place. Well, in a worse place. Whatever.
He stumbles on his words and doesn't get much of a reaction out of her, and has to accept that his typical DiNozzo humor won't work this time. After all, he's having some problems to hold it together too.
When boarding is only ten minutes away, she shifts positions so that she can face him.
"Write to me when you land, please."
"Aye-aye, ma'am", he says, but softness and tenderness in his voice kind of spoil the joke. Instead of the classic death glare that appellation used to earn him, he gets a crooked smile and watery eyes.
She opens her mouth and closes it again. She swallows, and makes a second try. "I will miss you."
He doesn't know if it's what she said or how she said it, but it makes all his doubts come back. He can't leave her. He's just not ready. She's not ready.
"Ziva, I can stay. Or you can come. We don't have to do this."
She closes her eyes, discouraged.
"You said you understood."
"I did! I do, I just –" he has to stop and restart his brain to manage to put words into a sentence, somehow. "I'll miss you too, and I'm worried about you, and knowing I won't be there to have your six drives me crazy."
She cocks her head to the side, and for some reason chooses that moment to give him an affectionate smile.
"I made you a promise and I am going to keep it. I will stay safe. And I won't disappear."
She takes his face in her hands and looks him in the eyes a little bit more intensely. "Okay?"
"Okay" he exhales, as he pulls her to him and embraces her, keeping her as close as he can, feeling her racing heartbeat mingle with his.
The loudspeaker interrupts their moment announcing the boarding for his flight has begun. He picks up his bag and she grabs his jacket.
"Are you seriously carrying my jacket for me, sweetcheeks?" he asks with a flirty smirk, determined to keep it light.
She rewards him with a chuckle, genuinely amused by the reference, and that makes him instantly feel better. Then she waits him to turn around to slip her necklace in his jacket's pocket.
She has been thinking of doing this since their big talk. She has made promises - they both have, more or less explicitly - and she feels the need to seal them. He knows how much that necklace is important to her. He's the one who gave it back to her, twice. She's sure he will understand that the gesture is meant to remind him that she's serious about this, and that she will come back to him.
When they get on the tarmac, he makes one last feeble attempt to convince her to go with him, but it's just because he can't help it, he already knows the answer. She looks away, uncomfortable, so he changes subject.
He suddenly realizes that they've talked only about them, but he's not the only person she's leaving.
While she gives him messages for the rest of the family and explains him the meaning of "stop this for him", the tears she successfully kept at bay the whole evening finally find their way out.
Her teary laugh at his comment about Gibbs does things to his heart and keeps him grounded at the same time. He just wants to keep it together for her, to support her and be her rock, to try not to make this moment even harder.
And then she surprises him again, using the word "love" for the second time in two days, just much more explicitly, and leaves him speechless.
The kiss that follows is full of passion, and tenderness, and promises, and hope. It says all the things they cannot say.
Taking the first step away from her is not easy, and he hears himself saying it out loud. He knows that even if he lingers a little bit longer, the tears he'll wipe away will be soon replaced by other tears, and he'll break down too, and won't be able to go at all.
So he just starts walking backwards, trying to hold onto his acceptance of her reasons, and to remind himself that this is not the end. They didn't say goodbye.
She watches him walk away, and the more distant he gets, the more she gives in to the sobs that she's been holding. They're shaking her whole body by the time he's at the top of the boarding ladder, but she finds the strength to smile at him, so that the last image he has of her is not one of despair. She knows they'll see each other soon via video call, but it won't be the same. And it's going to be a while before they can meet in person. So she makes this effort for him, and only when he's out of sight she allows herself to surrender to the inevitable breakdown completely.
She doesn't linger to watch his plane take off. She has already done that once, and since everything is different this time, she doesn't want to be reminded of anything negative. She has to focus on the good.
This is a new beginning. Their new beginning.
It was never a goodbye.
A/N That's a wrap. I want to thank once again everyone who read, reviewed (dear Guests, I can't answer to you, but I've really appreciated your comments!), alerted and favorited this story. The response and support really amazed me!
I hope this little journey has been as cathartic for you as it has been for me. Now that I have a headcanon that makes canon a little bit more bearable, I can move on and start writing happy AUs ;)
Stay strong you all, and let's hope that this end was really just a beginning...
