CHAPTER THREE – ANIMAL INSTINCTS
EDWARD POV
I opened my eyes before my alarm could wake me up. Somehow I managed to get a few hours sleep last night through all the tossing and turning. I had woken up panting in the middle of the night from a nightmare. I had been arguing with my father about something I can't remember which resulted with me storming out the house. I had gotten lost and the only thing I could remember after that was lying face down in a ditch. It was not the argument or the fact I was lying in a ditch that woke me up, it was the feeling of emptiness and loneliness. Nobody cared or even thought to even look for me. It was just me alone lying in a ditch. I understood that people didn't give a shit about other peoples lives because they too busy with their own but it wouldn't hurt them to take a fucking five minuet break and at least try to acknowledge others.
I sighed climbing out of my bed and grabbed a towel out the clean laundry hamper then headed into my bathroom. I stepped into the shower letting the hot water trickled down my cold skin making all the hairs stand up on my arms one by one. I lathered some milk and honey shampoo in my hair letting the hot water and bubbles run down my torso. For some strange reason I scrubbed myself twice maybe it was to get rid of all the sweat that pour out of me last night from waking up from that nightmare or maybe it was to try and clean the invisible dirt away from the ditch I was in.
After spending an hour in there I finally got out. I dried my hair and wrapped the towel around my waist and walked into my bedroom straight into my walk in wardrobe. I decided to go for black pants and a dark blue shirt nothing to extravagant but nothing to I've-just-walked-in-from-a-night-out sort of thing that my father would have put it. I slipped into my shiny black shoes and walked into my bedroom again grabbing my jacket from off the floor.
"Round two" I whispered to myself leaving my room.
I descended the stairs and walked straight into the kitchen. My mother was in her usual spot dressed in lovely attire as usual but it was accompanied with an apron as she stood behind the counter flipping eggs in a pan.
"Morning mother" I said walking around the Island planting a kiss on her cheek.
"Good morning Edward" she said as I poured myself some coffee.
"How are you feeling today?"
"Alright" I said half heartedly taking a seat at the breakfast bar.
"Where's Carlisle?"
"Your father" She said emphasising the word father "Left for work early this morning, speaking of your father he told me what happened yesterday"
Great nothing like a fucking therapy speech before breakfast.
"And?" I asked taking a sip of my coffee.
"And I'm not going to have a go at you if that's what you're thinking"
I couldn't help but look at her dumb struck.
"What?"
"I said I'm not going to have a go at you for walking out like you did. I don't think I would be able to take all that in one day either Edward, But"
There it is the but, there always has to be a fucking but.
"But you should have handled it better. If you needed some time you should have just taken a break or sat in your fathers office not storm out of there like a five year old. That's your job Edward if every person just suddenly stormed out from their jobs we wouldn't have anything would we?"
My job I snorted to myself. Yeah it was my job I wanted this job. I sent myself to medical school and decided to do a year's intern with my controlling and overbearing father at a fucking nut house because this was something I wanted to do!
"For your information this is not my job, this is Carlisle's job that I was dragged into by the scruff of my neck!"
"That's not fair Edward, you're father and I just want what's best for"
"Don't even play that card" I interrupted her "You can't possible no what's best for me because it is my life. You should trust me to choose what is best for me even if im not a fucking great and power doctor like"
"Watch your language young man, your father works hard for this family and I will not stand here and listen to you bad mouthing him!"
"Always taking his side" I snorted getting up from my seat.
"His my husband Edward, he works hard and provides for this family and we only want what's best".
I stopped just before I left the kitchen I didn't mean the sudden outburst to come out like it did but her words pissed me off.
"And I'm your son, you suppose to love me and be proud of me know matter what choices or mistakes I make in my life, but I guess you won't need to worry about that being as I'm not living my life I'm living HIS life" I spat emphasising the the word his as I left the kitchen.
"Upset mom before breakfast, check" Emmett laughed coming down the stairs.
"Fuck you" I spat heading out the front door.
I ran down the steps towards my Volvo and climbed in.
"Another great start to a great fucking day" I groaned to myself as I began to drive to hell.
It took me under twenty minutes to get there, partly because my car was faster than my fathers but mainly because he drove like fucking 2mph. I drove up the windy roads and stopped at the cast iron gates. I stretched my arm out and punching in the code as the window rolled down automatically. The gates groaned to life and slowly crept open.
"Can't you fucking be anymore slower" I groaned at the gate.
Eventually they opened far enough for me to squeeze my car in. I drove all the way up the top though the opening of the trees that revealed my hell. I spotted my fathers car and parked up next to it. I climbed out and jogged up the steps and glanced at the sign above me before entering the building.
I made a deal with myself last night that I was going to help Alice and Bella to the best of my abilities but I wanted to help them the way I wanted to not how my father wanted me to help them. But first I would have to observe both of them for a while to see if my master plan would actually work. I thought it would be best to start with Bella first purely because she has to have one on one sessions so at least I could use that to my advantage.
I entered the reception to see Mitch back behind the desk.
"Good morning Dr Cullen " he beamed.
"Morning Mitch" I said walking over to the desk to sign my name in.
My eyes scrolled across the sign in book and I noticed my fathers name was at the top of the list. He had signed in four hours ago.
"He really did leave early" I snorted to myself.
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing" I said placing the pen down.
"Have a nice day Dr. Cullen" His voice echoed.
I groaned inward as I walked towards the gate and listened as the buzzer went off sliding the gate across. I walked into the inspection room and took my shoes and jacket off.
"All clear Dr. Cullen" the guard said as I walked thought the metal detector.
I put my shoes back on and collected my jacket then made my way through the next sliding gate to the entrance hall.
Without looking around this time I walked straight into the east wing and followed the signs to my fathers office. I didn't even bother to knock I just walked straight in, what's the point and besides technically it has got my name on the door so why should I knock to enter my own office.
"Edward" my father called out looking up from his paperwork.
"Carlisle" I nodded.
"This is a surprise I didn't expect to see you in today after your childish outburst yesterday" he snorted.
Keep calm Cullen I told myself, arguing with my father would not help Alice or Bella if anything he would fire my ass that way I would never be able to help them so I would have to play by my father's rules, to some extent.
"Father, yesterday was a lot to take in and I know it was wrong of me just to run off. I should have handled the situation like an adult. I have given it some thought and I would like to start again and at least try to work with you and the patients"
I couldn't help but notice the huge grin creep up on his face.
"Well that was very noble of you Edward and thank you for being so grown up about all of this" he beamed.
And the award goes to me for being the best fucking actor of all time.
"So have you given any thought regarding your cases now that you have seen them in person?" he asked motioning his hand toward the seat in front of him.
"Yes I have given my two people some thought" I said emphasising the word people before taking my seat. "I can clearly see that Alice believes that she does indeed share her body with her twin but I'm not sure I believe it"
"Explain" he said clasping his hands together.
"Well after observing her yesterday it's obvious that she's deluded, but delusions can come from being locked up in solitary. It can cause a person to talk to them self. I think keeping Alice locked up away from human contact is doing more damage to her than you might think. I mean think about the choices she either does have the soul of her dead sister inside her or she is answering her own thoughts and believes that whoever is talking to her is actually another person but in fact it is herself"
I watched as his eye brows pulled down as he considered my evaluation.
"So you're saying that we should let her run wild with other patience's that are just as deluded as her?"
"No, I'm saying that if she had a social life like somebody to talk to or even a friend then hopefully that would distract her and who knows it might help her delusions disappear. Along with the medication I think group therapy would be a good idea as well"
"Ok Edward ill take your advice into consideration and see if I can could arrange for Miss Brandon to attend a few group therapy sessions. If the results are a good outcome then we will consider keeping her on the program" He said writing in his notebook.
"Next case" he said starting a new page.
Bella, Bella, Bella, what could I say about Bella? That she was dead, that she was just an outer shell of a human being with no life, no hope no nothing. That wasting my energy to even mention her name in a sentence was useless because there was no way to help such a damned person. No I couldn't, I couldn't just sit here and do nothing. A person like Bella could never be damned even thought they have experience a hard life there comes a time when something good will happen even if that something was small, right?
"Bell" I paused "Isabella" I quickly recovered myself. "She's seems" I couldn't get the words out.
Why was it so hard to even talk about her?
"She, lost"
She was lost, like me in my dream this morning even thought I have never experienced what she must have went through in reality I felt it in my dream. The feeling of being alone, empty with no one to care about you, no one to even notice that you actually exist. The feeling of loneliness, the feeling of solitude.
"What do you mean she's lost?"
"Carlisle I know im new in this field and correct me if im wrong but, isn't it possible for a persons mind to go into some sort of comatose state even if the persons body is not?"
"It is a possibility, a very small one but it is possible" he agreed.
"Ok think of it like this for instance, When your body gets hurt you feel pain am I right?" I asked and he nodded "Well when that pain is constant you almost get used to it so the pain subsides and eventually you dont feel anything anymore. What if in this scenario instead of Isabella's body surrendering it was her mind. Carlisle if she had suffered that much abuse and that much stress and discomfort then maybe her mind created some sort of delusional world that she has escape into and her mind had built a barrier around it to protect herself thats why she has no recognition of anybody around her or her surroundings. If your observation and records are indeed true then she must have experienced awful things that eventually made her dormant. She has buried her thoughts and emotions deep inside and she has become just an outer shell, a mute from the world. I agree that she needs one on one sessions and I think they need to be constant."
"Isabella is already having one on one sessions with our councillors Edward and she isn't making any progress at all, in fact she has became more adamant towards others."
I didn't know where the sudden outburst came from and right how I didn't care.
"What do you expect she talking to councillors people who don't give a shit, people who just sit there and keep one eye on their watch. For fuck sake there only talking with her because they're getting paid to do it"
"Edward I understand your observation and I'm not disagreeing with you but if your evaluation is correct then Isabella will need a lot of time with a lot of specially trained doctors and physiatrist that we simply don't have the funds for. We are already understaffed and having constant one on one sessions with either myself or the very few doctors that we already have will take up a lot of time and resorces that we simply don't have"
How can he have the audacity to sit there and play god. Who gives him the right to choose which patience lives or dies or in this case actually having the chance of a normal life or simply rotting away with the darkness? I couldn't help but smirk at my own thoughts because I was right, you would rather lock up a person and hope they wither and die than to actually help them. Not me, I was going to help them even if it took a lifetime. I was glad for my fathers negative rant because it gave me the perfect opportunity to step in.
"She doesn't need a fucking physicist, a councillor or a doctor for that matter. She needs somebody who she can relate to, somebody who's not going to judge her. Somebody normal who is going to listen to her and somebody who actually wants to help her"
He knew what I was getting at and even if he did disagree I would protest till I was blue in the face because for some strange reason I felt drawn towards her. Call it what you like but whenever I thought about her or her name was mentioned I felt the need to see her, to comfort her. It was like the instinct of an animal if you're mate or young are in danger the male would provide and protect them. Whatever I felt towards her the feeling of pity never left me either.
"So who might this someone be?"
I folded my arms and put my I'm-not-going-to-budge-face on and answered him with one simple word.
"Me"
