Onyx: Wow, chapter four. WAIT, THIS IS A SPECIAL OCCASION.
Lex: …Why?
Onyx: I've never written a chapter four. Never ever in my whole life.
Lex: Well, you see, it's a good thing I made you write this story. ^.~
Soacra-Mea (1): Whoopdie doo! Hello there! -kisses air-
Lex: OH NO. WHAT THE CRAP ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?
Onyx: Heh. -smirks-
Lex: YOU BROUGHT HIM HERE?
Onyx: Nooo…
Soacra-Mea: Ooh, my dear, dear Alexandré (That's not Lex's actual name, Soacra-Mea is just that stupid.), I do believe I'm here as a muse! -sparkle- -sparkle-
Lex: OH NO, YOU AREN'T! GET OUT OF HERE UNTIL I DISINTEGRATE YOU. -starts chasing Soacra-Mea with a broom-
Onyx: I think I have something to explain. You see, this being such a special day, I decided to get myself a muse. And what better muse other than my yellow plush rabbit called Soacra-Mea? :D
(1) – Soacra-Mea is a Romanian title which is held by the bridegroom's mother. Yes, that's right. Also, 'mea' is a pronoun meaning 'mine', or rather 'my'. So the rabbit's name sounds like this in English: My Husband's Mother. If you wanna know the pronunciation, it's in my profile.
Oh yeah, and the rabbit is male. Dude, I love him. Lex doesn't. They can't stand each other. That's because Lex fell in love with him when she first saw him and wanted to take him home with her. I was ok with that but Soacra-Mea wasn't, and they're at war since then.
Yay.
Since this chapter is so special, I'll try to make it longer, and also Maria comes into the picture, 'cos she wants to. Yeah. -.-
(BTW time. Don't forget that the dialogue between Onyx and Lex is STILL in Romanian, but it's too much of a pain in the ass to write all that. But keep it in mind!!)
Recap:
"Umm, hey Naruto, why don't you… come with us, and we'll talk."
His eyes squinted, completely not buying what I said. "Wheeere?"
"At our house, duh."
"And…?"
"And we'll talk there. C'mon, we have ramen."
"Yatta!"
Normal P.O.V.
(Kinda like Naruto's P.O.V., but in third person.)
They arrived at the apartment Onyx and Lex shared (Onyx: I'll find an explanation for that later. -Lex rolls her eyes-) and they were currently standing in the doorway, waiting for Oana to find the keys.
"How many times did I tell you not to give them to me?" She said, obviously irritated.
"Well… a lot of times! But still, I'm even worse, so shut up."
Oana raised a trademark sardonic eyebrow, and her eyes glinted. She knew Lex didn't like it, and it was the best way to get her to shut up.
Lex rolled her eyes, letting them fall on one of Oana's pockets. "Damn, those pants have a lot of pockets. Check there." She pointed to the pocket which had previously caught her attention. "Oh, shoot." Oana raised the two fingers holding the keys, and Lex grinned triumphantly.
Meanwhile, Naruto was watching them both weirdly. 'Why did I agree to come with them? Their reaction to my rasengan was suspicious. I didn't even put much effort into it. Could it be… maybe they are so impressed with my skills they consider me a divinity!' Naruto thought happily. Then again, they gave him a lot of ugly stares, so he shouldn't be so sure. Naruto sighed in distress.
Lex skipped inside, motioning for Naruto to come in, and she almost shut the door in Oana's face if a something didn't stop the door from moving. Lex looked down and was greeted with the sight of Oana's dirty, worn out black Vans. "Dude, you should really wash those."
Naruto turned and gave them a funny look. There they go again with their tribal incantations. He rubbed his temples and looked around, and wished he didn't.
In the hallway stood a broken shelf, with various articles hanging on it like backpacks, umbrellas, coats, cloaks and so on. The ground was dotted with numerous pairs of sneakers and shoes, two more backpacks, some clothes and dirt. The dirt consisted of papers, broken things, abandoned food, solidified mud and an object Naruto couldn't name. It looked like a stick with three other sticks coming from one end, much like a trident. (A fork, guyz.) All in all, it was far from neat. Then again, he wasn't the one to talk. His apartment didn't look any better.
"Ahem. Come into the living room, and we'll talk there." He assumed they were talking to him, because if they would be talking to each other, they'd talk in their foreign oompa-loompish. (Woah, great analogy, Naruto, we congratulate you.)
They all entered the big room, which was way neater than the hallway. Lex immediately sat down on a weirdly shaped chair which seemed to be made to fit her and her alone. The chair looked like an egg cut in half and separated from the yolk, and Naruto wondered how someone could be comfortable in such a spine-breaking chair. Oana plopped down on the couch, with her feet flung over it. The couch resembled a bed, since it was very long (Naruto guessed it was extendable) so he went over and sat as far from Oana as he could.
"So, err…"
The dark haired girl's voice trembled a bit, as if she was unsure what to say. Naruto guessed her name was Lex.
"Hey, all I want to know is why you are so interested in the rasengan, and why you brought me here." He said, trying to sound confident, and failing.
"It's a long story." Oana's harsh, scratchy voice echoed through the room. At first Naruto thought she was angry at him, but there was no angry undertone in her statement. He guessed her voice was usually this rough. "You see," she continued, "we weren't actually… expecting you to be able to create a Rasengan."
Naruto instantly perked up. "What do you mean? That I'm not good enough to-..."
"That's not what I meant." she said, trying to sound soft. "I mean, we never imagined we'd witness a Rasengan. For us, it's not natural."
"What do you mean?" Naruto asked, confused.
"Let me finish." She said, narrowing her eyes. "I actually believe you're here by accident. You shouldn't be here. It's not your world, Naruto." Naruto's eyes widened. "Do you remember anything before waking up in that shop, or somewhere in this town? Something must have happened, because you don't belong here. In our world, there aren't any ninjas, and there's nobody who possesses chakra. Do you understand? You're, like… in a parallel universe, I think."
Naruto blinked. And blinked. And blinked again.
"Nope, he doesn't understand." Lex said in English, chuckling. Oana sighed. "Well, it's the best explanation I can come up with." She said, also in English.
Naruto's mind slowly started to process the information. It was too much and too complex for Naruto to fully understand, but he grasped the main idea. The girls became aware of that when they saw his reaction.
"WHAAAAAAAT?!?!?!!??!"
Naruto's P.O.V.
Okay, calm down Naruto. This is not happening, no. This is so not happening. These girls are actually telling me that I've been teleported into their non-ninja world. In fact, what the heck is that? A non-ninja world? Yeeah, good one. I can see through your traps, you evil witches.
I stood up and went to the door, deciding to leave their house and explore this weird village on my own, since they didn't want to help me. I could hear their protests from the living room, but I ignored them and opened the main door, intending to go outside. Just as I did that, a speedy thing on four wheels screeched and stopped right in front of the house, music blaring trough its windows. The music stopped and a piece of the strange machinery detached, to reveal a punk-looking girl. She exited the machine and her blue eyes met mine. She stared at me, and then…
"NARUTO! O.O"
She ran up to me, examining me from head to toe, her eyes sparkling in an unnerving way. Then she pointed a finger at me. "Nice costume." She said, surprisingly in English. I could sense the presence of the two other girls behind me, and looked back only to see them making frantic gestures to the blonde punk girl in front of me. I looked back at her and caught her confused stare. Oh no. Don't tell me this girl believed all that crap from earlier, too!?
"Make a Shadow Clone." She commanded me. Her tone was demanding, so I found myself raising my hands, forming the Shadow Clone Jutsu seals. Immediately, a clone appeared beside me. The blonde girl analyzed my clone, and then looked back at me.
"NARUTO! O.O" She exclaimed once again, then happily pulled me into a bear-like hug. I tried to escape her vice grip, but my efforts proved to be in vain. Ha, and they told me there aren't any ninjas around here! I mean, come on, this girl had inhuman strength. She remembered me a bit of Sakura-chan… The girl seemed to sense my last thought, for she released me immediately, giving me a very dirty look. I gave her a confused one.
"So, um, what's going on and how did you manage to bring Naruto here?" She uttered out some incantations, which I was already starting to dread, and I felt the girls behind me shrug. Then the blonde girl yanked my shoulder, dragging me back into the house. NOOOO! I shouted into my mind. I just wanted to go home and have some ramen. Was that so bad?
She pulled me on the big couch, and I received a grunt from Oana, because the insane blonde girl actually shoved me on Oana's legs. I muttered a 'sorry' towards her. Then the blonde settled beside me, giving me a big grin which resembled my own.
"Uh, what do you want from me?" I said to her, and she just shrugged, shuffling through her torn, pin-adorned backpack. She pulled out a book, and shoved it into my face.
"I suppose you don't understand what's going on." She said. I nodded. "Look, this is you." She showed me the cover. She had an XD look on her face. I looked at the cover and… IT WAS ME! Okay, a drawing of myself, but still, IT WAS ME! Where in the world did she get that? She opened it and showed me the pictures. I studied them intently, and they resembled a fight I had when I was twelve. What the hell? The drawing showed my fight with Neji from the chunnin exams!! How did this people know my fight so good! And look, there were also some balloons over our heads, as if we were saying something, and I tried to read… I couldn't understand a word. I was written in weird signs.
"But… I can't understand what they're talking about."
"How come? I can't understand in either! You're the one who speaks Japanese!"
"…You don't speak Japanese?"
"No! Do I look Japanese to you?"
"…Then, how the hell can you understand me?!"
"Well, you're speaking English. Like me."
"…Shouldn't I be speaking Japanese?"
"… Argh, hell. Forget it."
We look at each other awkwardly, then suddenly Oana burst out laughing. I jumped; not because of her creaky, psychotic, Orochimaru-like laugh, but rather because I didn't expect her (yeah, I noticed she was a girl) of all people to randomly laugh like that. Then I understood what was she laughing at, and we (me, Lex and the blonde girl) all burst out laughing at the same time. To my left, Lex-chan (whoa, when did I start calling her 'chan'?) was wiping her tears, laughing madly. These evil witches weren't that evil, after all.
When I calmed down, I took the book from the blonde girl and started skimming through it. "Here you tell Neji that you failed the graduation exam three times." She said, smiling, and pointed to a picture of myself standing next to a beaten up Neji. That's right, I did say that! I looked at her curiously, but her smiling face diddn't show any sign of mock. So maybe I really am in another world…
Still Naruto's P.O.V.
"Okay guys, I'm going to cook! What would you like to eat?" The blonde girl, who was called Mary from what I learnt, announced loudly from the kitchen. I immediately shouted the expected response. "RAMEN!"
Lex, who was attempting to clean up the hallway, laughed at me. "You know, Naruto… we don't actually have any ramen."
"Whaat? B-but…! You said…!"
"I know, I know… That was just a bribe." She said, smiling. "I'm sorry, but this food you usually eat is part of the Asian Cuisine. We're on the other side of the globe; we don't have that type of food." She said, scratching the back of her head.
"Oh, come on…" I said, "Not even rice balls?"
"Nope… I would like to try that, though…" She said, more like talking to herself.
"Aww… but what do you actually eat if you don't even have rice balls?!"
Oana stepped in, wearing some big ass pants that almost swept the floor in their path. "How about we order some pizza?"
Mary seemed to hear her, and I couldn't understand what she shouted back as usual, but she didn't sound pleased. "I said I'm cooking, so no ordering! And I can't cook pizza like in an actual pizzeria, so no pizza!"
"Well, Mary, do you think Asians who come to Europe can get accustomed to our food that easily? I think we should start with something light… that's why I suggested pizza. Y'know?"
"Urgh, fine." Mary said, and stomped into the living room, cooking spoon still in hand, and grabbed the telephone (although Naruto doesn't know what a telephone is, mind you), dialing a number.
"So um, what should we do? Naruto, are you staying here for the night?" I looked in Lex's direction since she had talked in what they called English, and shrugged.
"Yeah, I think that's the best idea. I don't want to know what'll happen if any more people would find out about Naruto. Y'know, Naru (I frowned at the nickname), you're lucky we're not the type of people who would sell you to the mass media." Oana said. The corner of her mouth twitched upward, forming a smirk. I found her extended usage of those gestures really funny, it was her way to express herself. Who would have thought that you could express yourself using only the corners of your mouth?! I tried doing it for a short time, but my mouth contorted into something which made me resemble a grumpy old man, or a fish. Oana noticed me, and started laughing at my antics. The creaky laugh didn't bother me anymore, so I laughed with her.
Lex came to us, and we all went upstairs to decide who slept where, while Mary was downstairs, arguing with the pizza boy over the phone. "No, I said NO! I'm hungry and I want that pizza in LESS than 20 minutes, I don't CARE you have other orders…" The sound of her shrill voice dulled, and all I could hear was the creaking of the parquet. Pretty sinister, if you ask me.
Lex opened the door of a small room which contained one bed, one wardrobe, a washing machine (which Naruto doesn't know about either, BTW), a few stacks of clean sheets and pillows, laundry, and there was another door which led to a small balcony. "Erm… this is where we keep the washing machine and the laundry because the bathroom is too small…" She said awkwardly.
"A washing machine is for washing clothes, Naruto." Oana said, amused. I nodded in understanding.
"Hey, get out while I clean this room, 'cos if I don't there won't be any place for Naruto to sleep…" Lex shooed us out.
We went down the stairs, but didn't even reach the first floor when we heard a scream.
Lex's P.O.V.
Okay, since Oana isn't capable of cleaning up, I assumed that role. I shooed Naruto and Oana out, intending to move our laundry and other stacked thing into another room, or maybe the living room.
I made my way through the mass of dirty clothes on the floor, waiting to be washed, and started the washing machine, since it was already filled with clothes. I sighed; Oana and I weren't actually the neatest persons alive, we were far from it. Oana is extremely lazy and hates work, while I am simply a pig. The result? The dirtiest home in the whole world. We should get a prize, really.
Lost in my thoughts, I didn't notice the banging coming from the washing machine at first. Extremely curious, I made my way to the washing machine, thankful the noises weren't coming from the wardrobe. ('Cos yanno, I have a fear of wardrobes. When I was five a saw a horror movie in which a monster comes out of the wardrobe and… yeah. You get the idea. Now I'm scared for life.) I didn't even get close, when suddenly it blasted open. I couldn't stop the scream that made its way out of my throat.
Soacra-Mea: This is a really special day, my dear friends. I do believe it should be noted in the calendar. Such achievements are to be remembered and cherished for ever.
Lex: What the hell are you blabbering about, you stupid, old, torn rabbit?
Onyx: THREETHOUSANDTHREEHUNDREDANDSEVENTYONE WORDS.
Lex: … lyek, 1337?
Onyx: NO! Lyek, THREETHOUSANDTHREEHUNDREDANDSEVENTYONE WORDS.
Lex: Lawl.
Soacra-Mea: Cherish, cherish… (Oh baby I) cherish the joy- PLAF!
Lex: That song is inappropriate for an old rabbit like you!!
Onyx: -holds bare foot- Next time find something else to throw at him other than one of my cow slippers.
