This takes place after all the trouble with Pul and getting the artefact from the Keeper. I will answer the questions about the last chapter but not yet. I can't get it to . . . BE the way I want it. Sorry if that doesn't make sense to some people.

This however is my meagre offering in place of your answers . . . And hands up if you saw this coming from a mile away. I wanted to play with the idea of it though and I'm not done torturing poor Hawke just yet.

I have no clue when the answers to the last chapter will be up. I have other chapters written after this one but they don't tell you guys what you wanted to know.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

.

I'm With You

.

.

The pounding on the door caused Merrill to ruin potion she'd been working on and she had half a mind to send whoever it was away. Sighing as the pounding came again she pushed herself away from her work table and headed toward the door. It burst open before she could get halfway across the room and Hawke burst in, wild eyed and dirty, looking like she hadn't slept in days.

.

Bethany's been hurt

.

It was the first thought that went across the Dalish elf's mind at the state Hawke was in, little else could make the woman lose her stride.

"Hawke what-?"

The healer's magic aura fluctuated all around her and Merrill thanked the Creators that the other woman had not run across an on duty Templar in her dash to get to Merrill's. She would have set off all the magic detectors they had.

"I . . . I need a favour. No questions asked and not to be mentioned again."

Her voice was soft and it sounded like she'd spent a lot of time crying recently. It caused Merrill to just gap at her for a minute. The other mage was the most capable person the young Dalish knew and she needed a favour from a cast-off monster? What could she possibly need done?

"Sure, of . . . Of course, Hawke, but-"

The rest of what she would have said was cut off as Hawke closed the distance between them and placed Merrill's long, slim hand on her flat stomach.

"Tell me what you feel."

Eyes widening at the implications contained in the request, before Merrill took a deep breath and let them drift closed. She put all of her concentration into confirming what the other woman, being a healer, already knew. Strong and sure, the pulse of the tiny life was so strong it thrummed up the blood mage's arm.

"Oh. . ." she breathed out in awe and wonder. "Oh Hawke."

Fear and pain filled the other's eyes at the look in Merrill's.

"DAMMIT! I wanted to be wrong! Just this once! No, I have to go and be stupid right when this Qunari thing is about to blow up right in all of our faces!"

The glassy looked warned Merrill that Hawke was edging toward tears and being upset again would not be good for either of them, but Merrill had to know, since there was only one person Hawke would get that close to.

"What will you do Hawke? Does. . . Does he know?"

Merrill whispered falling to her knees, not want to let go of the connection with Hawke just yet. She only shook her head slowly letting her own hands fall to hold Merrill's where the still rested.

"I didn't want to tell anyone until I had someone else confirm it. I would have gone to Anders but. . . . Then he might have gone off on some half baked idea to avenge my honour." A sad soft sigh at that, before she went on. "How long do elf pregnancies last?"

"A little over a year."

"So I will probably have longer then the regular nine months for humans."

"But Hawke what will you tell-"

"I don't know!" Hawke cut her off in a shout. "I'd really like not to have to tell him, but I couldn't take his choice away like that . . . But I also don't want him to think I did it on purpose to trap him with it either . . . I . . .I . . . I simply don't know what I'm going to do."

She fell to her knees in front of Merrill and tossed her arms around the slight girl's neck. Without hesitation Merrill wrapped her arms tight around the other woman and held her, realizing for the first time how truly alone Hawke had been left. It should have been her sister here holding her for this! Better it should have been Fenris since he'd helped to cause the trouble, but she was glad Hawke had come to her. She could have gone to Aveline or to Isabella; both would have had more experience with this kind of thing the Merrill, but Hawke and dragged her self clear across town to ask Merrill.

Which meant she had to take charge, Hawke would do the same for her if there positions were reversed. What would the Keeper have said to one of their clan in this state? She would suggest they come back to it later with a clearer head.

"For now Hawke go home and some elf root tea." Merrill started, falling in to her long ago lessons for this kind of thing. "It will help to stave off things like moodiness and morning sickness. Then I want you to take a few days and forget about it as much as possible, no one makes a good choice upset. You can come back to it in a few days with a clear head and decided what you're going to do then okay?"

Hawke nodded and sat back on her heels. A small smile on her face as looked at Merrill.

"Okay and thank you for the reminder." Hawke whispered as she drew herself back together and stood. "Oh, and Merrill?"

"Yes Hawke?"

"I don't care what hurtful things your Keeper says about you. A monster wouldn't have cared enough to ask those hard questions of her friend or to offer comfort."

Merrill blinked at her stunned, as the warmth of those words stole over her, before Hawke ruffled her hair and saw her self out.

"Thank you, Hawke."

OXOXOXOXOX

Hawke stumbled into her manor a few hours later.

"Orana?"

"Yes Mistress?" The young elf called back wondering out of the kitchen kneading a piece of dough between her hands.

"While you're in there will you please make me some elf root tea? I have some of the left over elf root in the herb rack."

"Certainly, but may I ask why? I thought that it was mostly used by-"

"Orana? Please don't say it. Yes your quite right, but for right now it's a secret okay? No one can know."

A sad and far to knowing look filled the younger girls face at that, making her seem years older then Hawke knew she was.

"Are you not going to tell him?" Orana asked, rather boldly the ex-slave thought for all that she had whispered the question.

"I will . . . Just not yet. Not until its . . . Real to me. For right now just you and Merrill know, so please, won't you keep this a secret for me? It will only be for a little while."

Orana could feel a pleased smile sliding onto her face. It spoke volumes that the mage would trust her with so important a secret. She let the smile fill her as she drew herself up straight.

"Yes, of course I will Mistress."

"Thank you so much Orana. I'm going to my room for a bit will you please do me a favour and bring the tea there? There is one other person I want to tell regardless of anything else that happens."

XOXOXOXOX

"Hawke."

She ground her teeth as the damnable gold elf filled her open doorway. If he wasn't so completely over the moon about the Commander she would have thought he was stalking her. Every time she turned around she was running into the man.

"I'm in the middle of a lesson plan right now, Zevran. Can whatever this is wait until later?"

He moved into her room and reached out to tousle her hair with one hand.

"Normally I would say yes. Maker forbids I disturb the Lady Hawke from her work, however the letter was marked as urgent."

"Letter?" Bethany questioned. She had already received the one from her sister for this month. Who else would send her one?

"From your sister." He said as he set it down on the desk by her hand before turning to leave, closing the door behind him as he went. Bethany frowned down at the envelope. Her sister's normally neat and flowing script was sharp and erratic. She tore it open without further thought, had Marion been hurt?

.

.

Dear Bethany.

I know that I already sent you a letter this month but something has happened that could not wait or maybe it is more that I would not wait because telling you; my remaining family makes it all the more real to me. It should please you to know that the mighty have fallen far from grace. I'm pregnant. I didn't know who else to tell. I haven't even told the father yet. Please no lectures, I will tell him, but I want to be past the miscarriage stage that all mages seem to have trouble with. I don't want to tell him and then have my magic overpower it and sweep it away. Since you are my family though I wanted you to know about it regardless of any magical mishaps that might happen.

...My love as always, your sister

...Marion Hawke

.

.

"Oh . . . Oh Marion!" Bethany gasped as her hands flew to cover her mouth and the letter landed open on the desk in front of her. Pregnant and with no one to help her, no matter how strong her sister was, there had to be times when the thought of that caused her overwhelming panic and pain. Without another though scribbled a note on the back of the letter to her sister quickly and dashed out of her room and down the halls to a now, very familiar pair of embossed doors. Knocking she tossed them open without waiting to be granted entrance. Three faces turned to regard her with a wide variety of emotions. Stroud's face clearly showed his displeasure at her interruption. Zevren's was filled with his almost overwhelming curiosity to know what had been in the letter. The Commanders held only amusement.

"Yes, Bethany? Can we help you with something?" The question was asked dryly and cut off whatever reprimand Stroud had been about to give.

"My sincere apologies Commander, but this will only take a minute."

.

Sometimes my girl, you're going to have to strap some steel in your spine.

.

Her father had told her that once long ago. She straightened it now and put her shoulders back before striding across the room to stand in front of the assassin.

"Can you get a letter to Varric faster then the regular post?"

He blinked down at her for a second before nodding.

"I can, but you would owe me a favour for having it done."

"Done!"

Holding up the envelope he had just delivered to her, her own hastily scribbled note to Varric at the bottom of it, she magic it closed and handed it over to him.

"Make sure he gets that as soon as is possible please."

At his nod of agreement she turned to face her Commander.

"Is there a mission that goes near enough to Kirkwall, that I could go missing to there for a couple of hours?"

The petite elf just blinked at her for a moment before turning to Stroud, who shook his head at her. She smiled at him and turned back to Bethany.

"As a matter of fact Bethany, there is, and you are the perfect excuse. Your sister travels with a mage named Anders does she not?"

Bethany nodded.

"Yes. He's a friend of ours and a very talented healer I must say. In fact, he gave us the map into the deep roads."

Her words caused a frightening blankness to settle on the Commanders face.

"Did he now? Stroud is going to Kirkwall to chase down some rogue talking Darkspawn that have been attacking the caravans near there. I think you wanting to visit your sister is a perfect excuse to check in on him."

"Check in?"

"He was made a Grey Warden at my insistence. If he loses control of his body to Justice the damage they cause will be on my head."

"You want us to stop and make sure that he's still sane . . ." Bethany breathed. She couldn't picture the kind warm healer they had meet as an abomination.

"Please. I was his comrade and friend once long ago. I even gave him a cat once." A sad smile on her face at those words, that Bethany worked hard to brighten most days.

"It would be my pleasure the also check in with my friend while I am visiting."

"Then please take a day and check in with him and your sister. Was the letter bad news?"

"Maybe . . . She's pregnant and a mage. More then that she's all alone there now. I just wanted to tell her . . . She really isn't."

Just like that, the smile brightened and the Commander shared it smile with the Assassin.

"No one ever really is Bethany. Sometimes we just need to find who home is."

OXOXOXOXOXOXOX